RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding?

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/12/2009 11:33:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavekal quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I would dearly love to have the joy of cuckolding explained to me by those dominants who enjoy it. I am not disgusted by it, but it's one of those things that I can't wrap my head around. I lost out on an exceptional man because of that. He explained HIS desire very clearly and sensibly, but I don't get the appeal. Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it? Lady Hibiscus, talk to Ms. Mlicious and/or read her blog. Cuckolding turns her on like nothing else can. She always wanted this, even as a child, before she knew it had a name. Yeah, I know it, and I can see how it really works as part of your relationship! I dunno. Maybe because so few men interest me at all, that I can't imagine saying to my guy, Hey, I'll catch you later, I'm doing MrX? If MrX was all that great, I would be working on adding him to the family!

DavanKael -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/12/2009 11:48:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsFlutter quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I don't do the making someone feel less... I tend to build people up... it goes against my whole life work to rip someone down emotionally. Unless of course they have been bad, pissed me off really, really bad such as in doing something very wrong and I have no respect for them... then it is new ass hole time. hehe [sm=agree.gif] (love the way you expressed that - have you been peeking inside my head?) [sm=yourock.gif]Completely agree with what Lockit said as well. Davan

slavekal -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/13/2009 12:56:15 PM)
Ms. Mlicious doesn't have the time or inclination to see her guys on the side all the time. They are just a nice side hobby.

drizzt87 -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/13/2009 1:33:45 PM)
I think this is my first post but I cannot see how I can be stimulated by seeing someone I love just getting railed by some "bull". I will never comprehend the turn on in watching this. I'm still very new to the BDSM lifestyle but it's nice knowing that theres a bit of a majority not into this kink. -Daniel

SweetAngieDoll -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/15/2009 10:20:32 AM)
This sounds more like humilation for sissy males, force feminization or transexuals. It is very degrading for males to having anything to do with another males private parts. I for one was forced to do it once and even to get oral with it but, at the time I was being forced feminized. But, now I live for it. So, I have had some experience in this from the sub side. SweetAngieDoll

diklikr4u -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/25/2009 6:00:07 AM)
MissDita It is so good to hear that You and Your sub enjoyed Cuckolding. My exWife and i did not know about Cuckolding. She was however having sex with Her CoWorkers and did not know i knew. i was a young husband and not very knowledgable at the time to recognize Cuckolding. If She only knew that i was home naked fantasing about Her having sex with other Men we might still be married. The one thing i might not have expected was Her telling our College age Daughter that when we were married She cheating on me. It was our Daughter that told me about Her Mother telling Her about cheating on me with the Black coWorker. i don't think i would have been proud of the fact our Daughter knowing everything about our sex lives. Her having sex with Her Black coWorker was a surprise, but would not have been a problem. It probably would have added intensity too Her cuckolding. quote: ORIGINAL: MissDita quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I don't do the making someone feel less... I tend to build people up... it goes against my whole life work to rip someone down emotionally. Unless of course they have been bad, pissed me off really, really bad such as in doing something very wrong and I have no respect for them... then it is new ass hole time. hehe I loved cuckolding with My ex-slave and I loved to humiliate him, but meantime I made him feel very special. I guess it's an art. He felt loved and excited by being humiliated in that way. I knew that I was not making him feel 'inferior' at all, I was just putting him in a submissive state or even in subspace at times. And for Me it was very exciting to. Why did W/we love it? Because it creates a huge power exchange, more powerfull than any other D/s activity does. It's really not about the sex, I didn't even had sex yet with others, or relationship didn't get the chance to evolve that far. (reasons outside of our relationship) But just knowing I have the right to do whatever I want, that I have that power was a turn-on for Me even though I'm normally monogamuous. Letting him prepare Me for a date with another interesting man, calling him during the date, letting him pick Me up, Telling him how decent, polite and charming the other man was. This was enough for a magical dynamic between us, I liked the power rush and he was put in a peacefull submissive state. When he came to pick Me up and noticed My good mood, he was so happy because the date made Me feel good. The fact is that I enjoyed going out for diner with a nice man (a way more experienced slave than My fiancé, someone who treated Me as a queen without Me having to train him), but actually I just really enjoyed the power and was burning with love for My ex-fiance. You shouldn't look at cuckolding as having sex with another man (or in My case only dating, but I would have gone further in time). It's just a means to an end. You have fysical sex with that man that means nothing to You (or not compaired with what you feel for Your partner), but you are having very intense mental sex with your own slave. Wich really creates a very deep bound. I certainly don't think cuckolding is for all couples, it's a very very big risk and only to engage in a very steady and trusty relationship. And if it's not in the male fantasy, you just can't engage in it. It would be abuse, cheating and hurting your partner. But it would not be the D/s act of cuckolding wich is a means to put a slave into a submissive state (enjoyable for him) true intense humilliation. So to the OP, if it's not a fantasy of yours it SHOULD be a hard limit. And I can assure you that really not many Mistresses are open for cuckolding. Cuckolds are having a hard time to find a Mistress that wants to engage in this. And you as a slave have every right to put a hard limit on this. D/s is not meant to scare someone emotionally for life. And I only read the first responses, so sorry if what I stated, was already said. greetings, Miss Dita

diklikr4u -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (10/25/2009 6:04:59 AM)
GoddessSpitfire Cuckolding is like everything else. Everyone is different and each situatation and fetish is different. quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessSpitfire I am going to answer the question of the forum first, What is Dommes attraction to cuckolding? Well I find it attractive for many reasons. First of all, its a good way to make your relationship much stronger than you ever thought it could be. It spices up the doldrums of everyday life. I myself like to choose bi boys so we can share in the fun. I love having threesomes with my sub (when I have one that is). Its very attractive because it keeps things from becoming stale in your relationship. It also keeps him on his toes to be a better sub. What do you do if your into chastity and your in for a long punishment, let your Domme be sexually unsatisfied because you can seem to satisfy her in some way? Why should we be punished as well? As for your second question, I think that most Dommes would just move on to the next sub if they werent interested. If this is a limit of yours and they cant respect it, would you really want to be with that Domme? I also wanted to add that cuckolding isnt for everyone so although you dont like it you shouldnt disrepect others who are interested in it.

OralCuckGurl -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (3/24/2010 9:04:40 AM)
For me it would truly be all about the power exchange and affirmation of Her freedoms while i am constrained. i don't need to "watch" or "clean up" (though, of course, i would do so were She to require that) or anything else of a specific nature. It is all her call and cuckolding would be just one of many ways in which She could exercise Her discretion for Her pleasure in a way that again reminds me of my place.

Baldbalzs -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (3/24/2010 1:15:03 PM)
*I would think culkolding is just a part of domination,It would make the sub more submissive, especially if he was required to clean up afterwards. yum-yum*

slavekal -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (3/24/2010 4:23:20 PM)
I will submit to cuckolding, but when it comes to "cleaning up", I have to draw a line.

mithra -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (11/27/2010 4:28:33 PM)
For me the cuckold thing is a huge turn on. The word "humiliation" is a bit blurry in relation to it. Fo me its a form of sacrifice for her pleasure. Laying down my very maleness at the alter of her femininity. And I also love being able to relinquish the whole "male competition/dominance" thing that is like hard wired into my DNA and know I have a woman at my side loving me and being turned on by the process in a asimilar way that I am. Its a safe place to explore my feminine side. I guess you could call that humiliation if you want because a "man" is supposed to be "manly" and all that. But really its not about humiliation for me.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (11/27/2010 4:39:53 PM)
quote: Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it? I'm with you on this one, Lady Hib... while I understand it intellectually, I just don't -get- the mindset, and would really be horrible at providing that environment. Heck, if one of my servants didn't want to have sex, I'm A-OK with that. I tend to enter into long phases of celibacy myself. If I thought that one of my servants might need some time in celibacy in order to further hir development... again, I wouldn't have an issue with that and wouldn't hesitate for a moment to implement such. And Havens know that some folks at our house will be having sex while some other folks in the house aren't -- but the whole idea of cuckoldry and that whole "wave under your nose what I'm not going to allow you to have" thing... or the 'sneak around and screw other people and make sure outsiders knew that I was treating the submissive mate that way to humiliate hir... meh.. not so much for me. I just don't see the point. Then again, I don't really do humiliation in any other tangible way, either, so maybe that's why it just doesn't resonate well for me. Calla

mithra -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (11/27/2010 4:52:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it? I'm with you on this one, Lady Hib... while I understand it intellectually, I just don't -get- the mindset, and would really be horrible at providing that environment. Heck, if one of my servants didn't want to have sex, I'm A-OK with that. I tend to enter into long phases of celibacy myself. If I thought that one of my servants might need some time in celibacy in order to further hir development... again, I wouldn't have an issue with that and wouldn't hesitate for a moment to implement such. And Havens know that some folks at our house will be having sex while some other folks in the house aren't -- but the whole idea of cuckoldry and that whole "wave under your nose what I'm not going to allow you to have" thing... or the 'sneak around and screw other people and make sure outsiders knew that I was treating the submissive mate that way to humiliate hir... meh.. not so much for me. I just don't see the point. Then again, I don't really do humiliation in any other tangible way, either, so maybe that's why it just doesn't resonate well for me. Calla My prior comment notwithstanding, there is no way I would be ok with not having a rich sex life myself with a partner. The whole chastity/witholding thing would not work for me. By "sex life" I mean my penis being inside her body on a regular basis.

lickenforyou -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (11/29/2010 1:31:16 PM)
I find just the opposite. I will be reading the interest of a particular Domme and be getting excited at all the connections until I get to LIMITS only to find cuckolding as one of theirs. LadyPact, RumpusParable, and TheLadyLola seem to get cuckolding intellectually, emotionally, and intuitively. These are the type of women that i would LOVE to be in a cuckold relationship with. i wanted to write that and then rephrase it. i would want to have a relationship with these women and have cuckolding be a part of it. There is a difference. There is actually an evolutionary aspect or trigger to cuckolding. I will try to find the documentary that I saw on this. It explored fetishes and why people have them. It was very clinical (but the cuckolding one still got me excited, crazy) Apparently jealousy is a very arousing factor. Another man is putting his sperm into a woman and passing on his DNA. The other man is sexually aroused because of his need to have his DNA live on. This all happens, of course, on a subconcous primal level. The penis the way it is structured (the head being bigger) actually scoops out the first man’s sperm and replaces it with his own. I hope that the clinical aspect doesn’t ruin it for people. I personally was happy to learn that it wasn’t a sickness within me Also, you add on top of that the emotional aspect of denial and submission it can be incredibly hot and emotionally binding. But, as Reigna wrote, it can have “Too much incendiary potential.” I think the biggest mistake I see made with couples is that they pick a friend to do it with the first time. Wow! I have no interest in anyone knowing about this before I’m even sure that I can handle it. Please go into this in steps. I mean you don’t decide to go skydiving then go buy a parachute rent a plane and jump out. You may have a fetish for creampies, and if you go with a stranger a condom would be advised, but you can work on that later. My ex and I met with a guy that we found through an ad. We said that she would just give him a massage with a happy ending. Things went very well and he stayed for a couple of days and it was VERY exciting. Anyway, this is too long already. Good luck to everyone.

Atropos19 -> RE: Dommes attraction to cuckolding? (11/29/2010 8:11:57 PM)
You know, when I was younger (18/19 yrs old), I used to fantasize about hanging out with an attractive girl who would flirt with me and be all seductive in order to manipulate me into doing things for her, but would never actually have any intention of being in a relationship or doing anything "physical" with me. Why do I bring this up? Because I think the cuckolding thing is actually very similar to that kind of fantasy. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it might even be the same "core" idea, just filtered through a more mature mindset. I don't claim to know what's going on there psychologically speaking, but there's something stimulating about the idea of being used or "taken advantage of" in some way by a woman. I don't know if it's a cathartic thing or what, but for a certain type of personality, it pushes some buttons. And I think what turns most of us on the most, in many cases, are the things that get to those primal places below the surface, and tap into emotions we might not even have known were there. As far as actually WATCHING your wife have sex with the guy... I would say that that's more about humiliation. It's embarrassing (both in front of your wife/significant other AND the other guy), and it's emasculating, like sissification would be (though in a different way). I'm sort of an armchair psychologist, so I think it really would be interesting to find out what's going on beneath the surface there, what needs this sort of thing is fulfilling.

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