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RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/15/2009 4:09:54 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I am a total forum slut with mad postin' skilz...no lie!  

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 1/15/2009 4:15:51 PM >

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/15/2009 9:04:46 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I have read several pages of responses and have this to say, individuals respond to your post according to what they  read into your post.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

I really wonder if subs feel
welcome enough to open a new thread
 
I have opened a few threads with trepidation and find they get buried quickly, so I slink back. One thread I opened, got loads of feed back which surprised me, a lot!!  But no, I do not feel welcome enough to open a new threads.

to question something, or respond
on the forum??
 

When I question, sometimes I get bombed so it causes reaction and defense.  I see this a lot.
 Responding on forums is like putting your toe in to cold water.  There is fear of acceptance, fear of being bashed for something someone misinterpreted..... sometimes that big toe comes back pretty quick, with scabs. Eventually, if the toe has tenacity, it will find itself in 6ft water treading very well. Another toe just goes away feeling unwelcomed, insecure to ask a question or respond on any forum again.  I have conversed with subs who have felt like this.

Warm Greeting

GoddezzT`


Subs generally, if women, are pretty gabby, like a coffee click, so they come to cm forums to have a laugh and blow coffee through their noses at the keyboard or screen. 

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/16/2009 7:08:47 PM   
pussiboi


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I have to say...waaaaaaaayyyyyy too many male slaves get flamed by dommes by posting here.

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/17/2009 2:48:06 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		I feel fine responding but my outlook on the lifestyle seems to be way different than most on here..so I just post my opinion to the OP and ignore the other comments.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/17/2009 6:28:01 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I am a total forum slut with mad postin' skilz...no lie!  

Gosh I never noticed!


GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/17/2009 6:29:15 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pussiboi

I have to say...waaaaaaaayyyyyy too many male slaves get flamed by dommes by posting here.

I'm sorry to hear that, I do hope it doesn't keep them
from asking questions here !

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to pussiboi)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/17/2009 6:31:01 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

I feel fine responding but my outlook on the lifestyle seems to be way different than most on here..so I just post my opinion to the OP and ignore the other comments.

1000 people 1000 opinions.
So there are people who think your way,
just gotto look hard to find those :)

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/18/2009 12:38:34 PM   
Carnae7


Posts: 72
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline 		@ GoddessTeaze - "I really wonder if subs feel welcome enough to open a new thread to question something, or respond on the forum??"  Short answer is NO.
AND
@ Just Darkness - "Mostly they say...they don't like to be treated as sometimes happens on the forum. They are afraid they get laughed at.   And lets be honest...that does happen."  Short answer is Yes, it certainly does happen!
 
Have to say, I don't post very often for a few reasons! 
 
First of all, it seems that most of the things I write are scrapped by the Moderators!  I put a lot of thought and care into writing up my questions and/or intended posts, then find that after all that work, they're just scrapped like some piece of garbage!  So, definitely not very encouraging.  I gather this happens to others as well, cuz I often see new posts start out with the OP asking the Moderators, "please forgive me if I'm putting this in the wrong place", or asking the Moderators to move it to the correct forum if it's posted in the wrong spot. 

Second, I know there is an old saying about the only dumb question is the one that's not asked.  I happen to believe this, and feel comfortable answering with respect and compassion to questions where I already know the answer.  However, I've read some posts where the person has really opened up and made themselves vulnerable with a question, and yet the responses are just flat out rude, mean and demeaning!!  This does NOT make for a real willingness to put oneself out there.  There seems to be very little compassion, care, or concern in regards to how the OP is feeling, and/or will feel in response to what is written.  This seems very similar to an elementary school yard, where bullies abound!!!  All the Brats/bullies who think they are sooo smart, or 'fashionable', or whatever, seem to think they can just run roughshod over everyone else, regardless of anyone or anything else, and the consequences that will ensue.  I say, "Shame on you!!”  Fortunately, not all the responders are like this, (Thank God!!!) but honestly, I've seen enough of them that it terrifies me to even think of putting myself out there for possible ridicule, degradation, and humiliation.  You know, NOT EVERYONE is into these things!
 
Third, as I'm still fairly new into this lifestyle, (just over one year) I find I have a lot more questions than suggestions or answers.  Therefore, if the post is asking for information, they will most often not get a response from me, as I'm not sure I know that much about this lifestyle yet.  And even if I think I might know the answer, I still usually stay quiet and watch to see if my possible answer is confirmed by someone else.  If however, the post is asking for an opinion, and I think my opinion has yet to be stated, or will add value, I take the time to respond.

_____________________________


How far is Heaven? Only as far away as my Master.

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/18/2009 1:14:21 PM   
SadieJ6


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/17/2009
Status: offline 		I am somtimes hesitant to ask questions on forums, only because I am afraid that someone will tell me that it's been asked before or do a search. I'm not new to this forum nor am I new to BDSM.
I loathe searching for stuff in forums, and I'm lazy to boot.

I sometimes like to comment or add my own thoughts to posts, but since no one knows me it's assumed I am a "newbie" and don't know my ass from my head.
I also take everything with a grain of salt, add to that my twisted sense of humour, and I come across as moody and pushy.


(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/18/2009 2:30:07 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carnae7
@ GoddessTeaze - "I really wonder if subs feel welcome enough to open a new thread to question something, or respond on the forum??"  Short answer is NO.

This is your feeling which I understand hon.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carnae7
AND @ Just Darkness - "Mostly they say...they don't like to be treated as sometimes happens on the forum. They are afraid they get laughed at.   And lets be honest...that does happen."  Short answer is Yes, it certainly does happen!

Yes it does hon.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carnae7
I've read some posts where the person has really opened up and made themselves vulnerable with a question, and yet the responses are just flat out rude, mean and demeaning!!  This does NOT make for a real willingness to put oneself out there.  There seems to be very little compassion, care, or concern in regards to how the OP is feeling, and/or will feel in response to what is written.

I fully agree with you, that that isn't nice
nor helpfull at all. The question is, should you take their comments to heart, or should you learn that not everyone is nice, but you're still welcome to express your opinion. And I truly hope
you will keep on asking and writing Carnae.

I wish you enough

GoddezzT`
 



< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/18/2009 2:40:47 PM >

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Carnae7)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/18/2009 2:39:21 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadieJ6
I am somtimes hesitant to ask questions on forums, only because I am afraid that someone will tell me that it's been asked before or do a search. I'm not new to this forum nor am I new to BDSM.
I loathe searching for stuff in forums, and I'm lazy to boot.

I sometimes like to comment or add my own thoughts to posts, but since no one knows me it's assumed I am a "newbie" and don't know my ass from my head.
I also take everything with a grain of salt, add to that my twisted sense of humour, and I come across as moody and pushy.

Hello Sadie,
Well there will always be people who will tell you it's been asked before. Since We live in 2009, and Bdsm wasn't invented in this year, almost everything We ask here, is asked before.

People who think to paste old logs about the same topic is interesting, as if people today don't have anything to say or ask about it.

Bdsm is an ongoing subject, with things which are for one old news, but new to others. I would not worry too much, and just ask what it is that you would like to know. I hope you join Us, on here.

I wish you enough

GoddezzT`



_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to SadieJ6)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/21/2009 4:44:07 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I 'joined' CM about a year before I posted anything.  In the beginning, I was just perusing profiles, then I was in a relationship with a person that I re-met on here and didn't putter around on CM because I viewed it as being more for profiles than posts.  I would occasionally read posts with him and he recommended the boards as good sources of information.  When things started going south, I posted a thread.  He created a profile his wife didn't know about (And, as I am a thinking human being as well as an observant one, the obviousness of his presence and his name choice keyed me in almost immediately though he tried to lie and say it wasn't him when I confronted him) and was lurking around after telling her that there were some useful things said but she shouldn't read what I wrote 'cause it would piss her off' (Desire for drama, anyone?!).  His wife hiacked the thread, I hijacked hers (Yes, very mature, I am aware, lol), I was indignant and my diplomatic self (Not!) and those threads erupted into a shit-storm of flames, one getting yanked, the other getting massively censored.  So, my first experiences with threads and postings were about as tumultuous as they can be.  I have a thick skin.  I also posted with the understanding that people aren't always kind and that it's not about getting the answers that you want but that you get whatever people put out there and how you filter it is upto you.  I made some friends out of that experience and I am sure that there are people who will never join the Davan fanclub after those threads, lol.  It's all good.  I was doing a lot of reading to see what peoples' opinions were on various dynamics.  I altered my profile approximately a month ago to reflect my primary interest on CM of participating on the boards; 'not looking'.  I'm an opinionated creature and how others interpret and process things interests me.  The topics discussed sometimes interest me.  Discussing things with others interests me.  Sometimes getting into a verbal tumble is appealing.  I kinda view the threads as a sort of community to which we each have the potential of making contributions.  I try to make my contributions overall positive.  < shrug >
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 1/21/2009 5:00:12 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/21/2009 11:10:46 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
Well davan,

If you can fight on the forum,
then it doesn't sound to Me, that you don't
feel comfortable enough to respond *EG*

Not to say fighting is a good way of communicating.

Thank you for your contribution.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/22/2009 6:47:15 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I have been on CM for a little over two years.  I started a few threads early on because I had more questions then.  I would try to give as much information as possible, clearly and concisely so I could hopefully get good advice or insight.  No one was ever rude to me, ever. 

Most of the threads I start now are more lighthearted, and still no one has ever been rude to me.

I respond to threads if I feel I have something to add to the discussion.  Once in a while I have let my snarky demon out because of the poster, but not that often. 

I have a warm, quirky sense of humor and will sometimes respond with those types of replies, just because or to hopefully lighten the mood of a thread.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/22/2009 9:08:06 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I start new posts, when ever I get the feeling.

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/23/2009 5:51:02 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Like others I read much more than I write. Also being fairly experienced in many forms of play I tend not to have a whole lot of questions to ask in a forum. So I guess I am more content to share my knowledge than ask a question. But on rare occasions I will start a thread or two.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/23/2009 9:10:14 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

Well davan,

If you can fight on the forum,
then it doesn't sound to Me, that you don't
feel comfortable enough to respond *EG*

Not to say fighting is a good way of communicating.

Thank you for your contribution.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



Fighting is not the same as debating.  :> 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/24/2009 8:24:45 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
and was lurking around after telling her that there were some useful things said but she shouldn't read what I wrote 'cause it would piss her off' (Desire for drama, anyone?!).  His wife hiacked the thread, I hijacked hers (Yes, very mature, I am aware, lol), I was indignant and my diplomatic self (Not!) and those threads erupted into a shit-storm of flames, one getting yanked, the other getting massively censored.
Davan

If you call that debating???
In My opinion that crossed the line
of debating, and went into an argument,
which I call a fight.

But al right, We call things differently.
Which is fine, as long as We understand each other.

Have a good one

GoddezzT`



_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/24/2009 8:27:57 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I have been on CM for a little over two years.  I started a few threads early on because I had more questions then.  I would try to give as much information as possible, clearly and concisely so I could hopefully get good advice or insight.  No one was ever rude to me, ever. 

Most of the threads I start now are more lighthearted, and still no one has ever been rude to me.

I respond to threads if I feel I have something to add to the discussion.  Once in a while I have let my snarky demon out because of the poster, but not that often. 

I have a warm, quirky sense of humor and will sometimes respond with those types of replies, just because or to hopefully lighten the mood of a thread.

Awesome to hear that BRNaughtyAngel,

We can help each other here, with our knowledge & experience so why shouldn't We?

I wish you enough hon.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: I do wonder how many subs are reading the forum , b... - 1/24/2009 8:30:43 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BalletBob

I start new posts, when ever I get the feeling.

Cute those shoes,
can you dance on them??

And good to hear bob.

B safe

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to BalletBob)
Profile   Post #: 80
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