Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

lifestyle or sexuality?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> lifestyle or sexuality? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 8:50:13 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		tonight i have found myself being asked that question again. "how long have you been into the lifestyle?".and i wondered...if many people consider *this* a lifestyle choice, of if  many just see this as part of their make upand/or sexuality..( badly  worded question i know but im sure you get the general idea)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 8:59:30 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I've changed my opinion on this over the course the past year. I used to just want to give up control in the bedroom.... but now I want power exchange as part of my day-to-day life.

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:13:21 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		so maybe its not an iether and or reply..in your case... or maybe we have another  what came first the chicken or the egg question.

i think what i was  (badly) trying to get at was....as i grew up i found when fantasising sexually  (even though i didnt know it had a name ) my thoughts were very BDSMesque orientated.
is it a matter of lifestyle choice?or pre determined.

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:13:29 PM   
jen182


Posts: 495
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline 		i live it as a lifestyle, not just in the bedroom

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:17:55 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jen182

i live it as a lifestyle, not just in the bedroom

ah i see-so you see the question of lifestyle to mean...behaviour across the board instead of *how long have you been in the lifestyle? as cool wording...* actually-maybe im misunderstanding the original wording of the question... .....and now you see why i seldom post.....i now have more questions than i did to begin with.

(in reply to jen182)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:23:02 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		How about 'how long have you been into WIITWD?' What is WIITWD for you?

This isn't the Catholic Church... THE LIFESTYLE is a myth. Everybody has 'a' lifestyle, not 'the' lifestyle.

See my point?

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:34:47 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		well yes i do indeed...after all one persons*lifestyle* is another persons sexuality....and i know im a grumpy old woman.but it seemslike *lifestyle* worded that way is like...how long have you been  a member of the latest trend?.... and i really dont feel that way about it and the ambiguousWIITWD covers such a wide spectrum a little more comfortably....
do you feel that some people do engage in WIITWD to be trendy?

(in reply to ALAstella)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:42:35 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		WIITWD for me is merely making overt and ritualized issues that have been in my life since childhood.

I am going to be playing out power and control games in my life no matter what is going on. I prefer to do it in an overt and formal matter with other adults than, say, to impose it upon my children, or harm a dog by treating it like a human not a dog. In some ways it's just the sensible thing to do.

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:45:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Who I am is my orientation.

Choosing to go to parties, play with toys, go to munches, post online- those are the priorities of time and energy I choose as my lifestyle.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:49:55 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Both, I should think.  For some, it's a kink, a fetish, something fun that is there for sexual amusement.  Nothing more. 

For others, it's a necessity, an emotional and psychological need, to dominate and control/be dominated and controlled.  Just as there are control freaks, that don't know what to do if they're not at the forefront of whatever, there is the opposite end of the spectrum.  People that inherrantly NEED to be controlled.  For them, it's part of who they are, going even past their sexuality.  It's not just something they play in the bedroom/dungeon/den/etc...

So yes, both, and more, and less, and everywhere in between, depending on the person.


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:51:14 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Who I am is my orientation.

Choosing to go to parties, play with toys, go to munches, post online- those are the priorities of time and energy I choose as my lifestyle.


so lifestyle as what you  do.not who you are.......not that one isnt an extension of the other here and there..as per usual the devil is in the linguistic detail.....thank you.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 9:56:39 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Since our sex life is basically rather vanilla I'd have to give the nod to lifestyle choice.  

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 10:14:27 PM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		......and no two people have the same reply.....hmm. thank you for the input

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 11:17:14 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Choosing to be owned is a relationship-style, for me. I've never considered myself part of, or into, any lifestyle other than my own.

I don't know what constitutes making someone *into The Lifestyle* either........other than their consideration that they are.

If I'm asked * How long have you been into the lifestyle* I usually ask what they mean, specifically. It usually means * How long have you *done stuff* that is bdsm/Ds related with the knowledge that it IS bdsm/Ds related*.

agirl







(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/11/2009 11:17:38 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		This is not just my sexuality, it's not my make-up and it's not my lifestyle. It's simply how I choose to live my life with a dominant personality partner..he leads, I follow.

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/12/2009 8:48:10 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		immoral, you'll find varied answers to this because "lifestyle" has different definitions to different people.  I was introduced to BDSM about five years ago.  I chose to have a relationship at that time and so much of my life revolved around that.  The relationship ended and I walked away from BDSM for awhile.  I got involved in it again later because of a vanilla relationship where I found out that the man wanted to be my slave.  From that point on I've never looked back but considered BDSM to be a way of life that makes me feel the most fulfilled.

It was never so much about sex to me but about deep trust and open communication and the willingness of one person to turn themselves over to another who truly cared about mutual fulfillment.  That doesn't make me any more grand than the person who sees BDSM as sexy, kinky, fun and for sessions only.  There is a very broad spectrum of how people choose to incorporate BDSM into their lives.  I am very comfortable considering myself to be living an alternative lifestyle.  That's the definition that I use for myself but know that others have the right to define it however they want.


_____________________________



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/12/2009 9:05:46 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I think it is a lifestyle for those who chose to go to a kink club, convention, or other gathering of kinksters over other activities to occupy their time. I suppose I'm not in the lifestyle because I'm indifferent to that stuff and I'd rather ride my bike or go to a hockey game or all sorts of other things. However, I'm not convinced the lifestylers are any kinkier behind closed doors than I am -- they just have fewer interests outside the house than I do.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 1/12/2009 9:07:11 AM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/12/2009 9:09:24 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: immoral

tonight i have found myself being asked that question again. "how long have you been into the lifestyle?".and i wondered...if many people consider *this* a lifestyle choice, of if  many just see this as part of their make upand/or sexuality..( badly  worded question i know but im sure you get the general idea)


The more I learn and understand how WIITWD fits into how I love life, I see that WIITWD is in all aspects. It has become both part of my makeup and part of my sexuality.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/12/2009 9:14:20 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It would depend on what the person asking meant by the lifestyle. How long have I been dominant? All my life. How long have I been in a relationship? a year and a half, almost. The lifestyle I have with Fox has been that whole time. I have been active in the BDSM community on and off for a long while. But as for the lifestyle, the only time I use that is like any other title, to make it understood that I am in an "alternative" relationship.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: lifestyle or sexuality? - 1/12/2009 9:16:29 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		it isn't either/or for this slave...it is both.

(in reply to immoral)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> lifestyle or sexuality? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094