RE: That first home visit...

RE: That first home visit... (Full Version)

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Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:24:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Jewel, I have to tell you, I'm literally sitting here hoping there's been some kind of mistake. I realize that's probably not the case. I highly doubt there's an alternative explanation (I've read too many things about how careful Twice is about taking care of you) but I really wish there could be. I keep looking at it myself, believe me. The only other possible alternative is that somebody snuck in the back door Friday in the half hour between when i lay down in my room and Scooter and Jewel got home from the doctors. That is the only time a door was left unlocked when nobody was downstairs. Here is the kicker, that mysterious somebody would have to have seen me put the pills in that can on top of the fridge. Normally they sit on a shelf. I put them in the can after taking the cookies out of it when the visitor was on his way. And now of course there is the tangle of excuses as to why we did not hear from him until today.

Evility -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:26:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact By the way, the door to the room has a keyed lock. I was sitting here thinking about this issue and that is the thought that popped into my head. If I was entertaining prospective partners at home on a more frequent basis I would install a keyed lock on my bedroom door and everything would go in there while the vetting process was underway.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:32:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact By the way, the door to the room has a keyed lock. If I was entertaining prospective partners at home on a more frequent basis I would install a keyed lock on my bedroom door and everything would go in there while the vetting process was underway. Everything here goes into my room, in a safe spot. You cannot open the door to my room or even walk down the hallway to reach it without somebody knowing about it. We never leave first time visitors alone in the house so this does solve the problem, for the most part. One of the bottles missing is the pills to bring Jewels sugar down, (she is diabetic). There is always a bottle of these on each floor of the house plus in each our purses. There has to be for medical reasons, if she needs one NOW, type of issue.

LaTigresse -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:34:22 AM)
I just keep thinking......what an odd thing to steal.

sirsholly -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:36:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I just keep thinking......what an odd thing to steal. unless he knew nothing about the drugs...hoping they were narcs?

LaTigresse -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:44:39 AM)
In that case, my evil side......muah ha ha haaaa.......hopes he takes them dreaming of a cool buzz, then ends up in the hospital with his blood sugar all fucked up. Back to your regularly scheduled, sweet, innocent LeeAnn now......

sirsholly -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:46:51 AM)
well that would explain why he was not heard from for so long...

LaTigresse -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:49:00 AM)
If that was the case, my evil side says "not long enough". We want pain and suffering, worthy of a longer hospital stay.

MistressLamia -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 10:58:08 AM)
I allowed a sub to move across country to be with me after speaking nightly for 6 months. I even got to "know" his family. In the 7 weeks he was with me he drank almost daily, I suspect drugs, wrecked both my cars one night while he was drunk and I was asleep, worked only after I got him a job (2 weeks), stole cash and lied so many times I can't even keep track. I threw him out. Literally, threw him and his things out the front door. After much harassment from his father I found out he had restraining orders against him and his father by his ex's family and was no longer allowed to even see his kids. At this point I do not think anyone should let anyone in their house while they are not there or when they are asleep unless they really know them. If you move a sub to you make sure they can support themselves until you both know if it's going to work. I lost and spent, in car repairs and legal fees more than $7,000.00 during that 7 weeks and in hind sight am glad I was not physically harmed. Just because someone says they're a sub does not mean they are.

scarlethiney -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 11:11:59 AM)
Gosh Jewel that's a tough one. I am speaking from past experience that sometimes no matter how well prepared we think we are and how much we think we know about someone they are just better at deception than we could have imagined. Its heartbreaking and embarrassing and infuriating to feel that someone has betrayed your trust. Unfortunately it does happen and I'm sorry it happened to you. You can never know what is appealing to someone who is dishonest. It sounds like you did your best to be careful. I don't honestly think you can do more than you suggested here. Good luck Jewel Big Hugs, scarlet

thefallenfruit -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 11:28:16 AM)
Wow...this thread is amazing and heartbreaking at the same time! I actually met someone from here a few months ago and luckily he was a really stand up guy. Even bought me a converter for my ancient DVD player LOL...and we ended having a ball that day. I got lucky that I had met such an amazing friend. One of my issues about being here was that I was always afraid to meet someone because I have a small one at home. Granted, when my friend came to visit, she was with her grandmother for a few days. I'm not about to put my mini me in an unsafe situation, I don't care how long we've been talking. The man I'm with now, I didn't meet from online. We used to date back in 2006 and I've known him for years...and we very much have a D/s dynamic between the both of us that came naturally. And it's all the better that I've known him...been with him. I would talk to some really amazing people on here, but I, except for the one time, felt comfortable enough to let someone into my home. I don't have much, but what I do have...is mine. On the same token, I've been to other people's house that I've met from online. My best best friend to this day from Michigan, I met her online and I fell in love with her family and her likewise. I couldn't imagine stealing from ANYONE, let alone someone that was kind enough to let me into their home for any amount of time. And stealing pills? That's really reprehensible. It makes you really open your eyes...or at least you should. And for the person that stole from the O.P... I hope something important of his burns and subsequently falls off. [:)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 11:30:27 AM)
That's just tough. I mean having someone over for a nookie night or coming home late after a party is one thing. Having an actual VISIT at your place is a big step and it's a big hit against your trust to violate it like that.

CelticPrince -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 11:36:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel Ok, so you've talked to this person on the internet, on the phone, on messenger and everything seems to be going good... Then you decide to meet for that all important first visit. Again, everything seems to be going great, wonderful conversation, fun "family" nights, very helpful to you and yours... And you start to talk seriously about the future, where it could go, what it would take to get there, the whole nine yards. They leave and you are thinking that at some point in the future they will be back, both of you are ready to work towards a future together. So far so good... right? They head home and days go by (just a few days) and there is no contact, no indication that they even made it home safely, then one morning you get up and go to grab something (like meds that you have to take daily) and they are gone... just gone. You know they were there, daily, keep you alive stuff, is something you tend to keep track of. How does the rest of the world handle things like that? I know that we keep a close eye on our valuables whenever someone we don't know very well is coming over, and pain meds are pretty much always locked up, purses and wallets are put up for safe keeping, but what about the little stuff that you really don't see as being interesting to other people? What kind of precautions do you take when having that s-type or D-type to your home for the first time? *Jewel* Jewel, Well count yourself fortunate in the big picture. CP

bratnwranglers -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 11:42:23 AM)
either way, inexcusable on his part...but be thankful that nothing else was taken, and no harm done to yourself!! i know when i met Master, it was in a public place...its one thing to talk to a person on the phone, but that really helped me feel comfortable, because i could feel Him out in person, and was still safe :)

LadyPact -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 12:36:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Jewel, I have to tell you, I'm literally sitting here hoping there's been some kind of mistake. I realize that's probably not the case. I highly doubt there's an alternative explanation (I've read too many things about how careful Twice is about taking care of you) but I really wish there could be. I keep looking at it myself, believe me. The only other possible alternative is that somebody snuck in the back door Friday in the half hour between when i lay down in my room and Scooter and Jewel got home from the doctors. That is the only time a door was left unlocked when nobody was downstairs. Here is the kicker, that mysterious somebody would have to have seen me put the pills in that can on top of the fridge. Normally they sit on a shelf. I put them in the can after taking the cookies out of it when the visitor was on his way. And now of course there is the tangle of excuses as to why we did not hear from him until today. Twice, like I said, I've just read too many things over the months about the way you look after both Jewel and Scooter. It wouldn't surprise Me a bit if you've looked in that can at least a half a dozen times, checked every possible potential alternative place high and low, and every darn thing you could think of. I know how important Jewel's health is to you.

LadyPact -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 12:40:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact By the way, the door to the room has a keyed lock. I was sitting here thinking about this issue and that is the thought that popped into my head. If I was entertaining prospective partners at home on a more frequent basis I would install a keyed lock on my bedroom door and everything would go in there while the vetting process was underway. I not only have the lock on the bedroom door, but a chain as well. Just like some people might have on the front door to their house. Even if for some reason, a person would be spending the night in My home and managed to get the key and could get the lock open while I was sleeping, the chain would wake Me up.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 1:19:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I just keep thinking......what an odd thing to steal. I would be thinking the same thing but, the prescriptions are handed to us directly from the on site clinic at Scooters job. So the only thing the are labeled with is the generic name and Jewel's name as well as dosing instructions. No warnings, no descriptions as to what condition they are for, nothing. Those are given on separate fact sheets the first time a certain drug is prescribed and not at all after that first time. Those bottles to the untrained could have been anything from blood pressure meds to Viagra. And the visitor was aware the Jewel is on pain meds for neuropathy.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 1:31:08 PM)
They stole your meds?That is some serious junkie behavior I do not bring anyone into my home that I do not know in RL .

KatyLied -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 1:39:22 PM)
quote: but what about the little stuff that you really don't see as being interesting to other people? Medications are interesting to people who need money and/or are addicts. He may have wanted his own high, thinking your meds could provide it. Or he may have sold/traded for money/other drugs. I guess the only advice is to exercise caution and get to know someone well in real time before inviting him/her for an extended stay in your home.

RedMagic1 -> RE: That first home visit... (1/12/2009 1:44:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel *Well, as much as I appreciate the well wishes from everyone (and I really do) I honestly am curious about what others do when they are having a possible SO over to their home for the first time?* My "first date" with dm was her flying here to stay with me for four days. Me: maledom, her: femsub. She asked me to scan my drivers license and email it to her so her ex (who is an attorney) could run a criminal background check. I did. I talked to him, too. I didn't do anything special to safeguard what little I own. I also have to take a pill every day. I left those where they always are. She could have done a lot of nasty things to me if she'd wanted to. I suppose I should say how the story ended. Things turned out well. We're not dating, but we're good friends, and we have plans to drive up the California coast together. I almost got her to come to the GreedyPirate wedding. I'm sorry for your bad experience. Junkie behavior is a definite possibility. My initial hit, though, was that he wanted a memento of something extremely personal to you, like a pantythief raised to a power. Edited to add: I think the onus is on the single male to prove himself -- regardless of his orientation -- given the realities of internet dating. Also, most of the times I've flown the first time, the lady and I shared the cost of a hotel. That might be the simplest solution, if you can swing the dough. Meet and/or play at the hotel, then give him a tour of the house if everything looks good. But he doesn't need to sleep there on the first visit. You could all have a vacation at your local hotel.

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