RE: That first home visit...

RE: That first home visit... (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 9:59:08 AM)
Often when people talk about meeting someone and how much they are looking forward to it, when something happens it naturally comes to the attention of people reading the forums. I would suggest that people hold their new relationships close to them, nuture them, and get to know the other person over a period of time and in differing circumstances prior to on-line proclamations. It's a nightmare for all involved when it doesn't work out in such a public manner.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 11:57:30 AM)
I try not to live my life on the boards either, Katy, but it's sad when we can't celebrate stuff with our friends, either.

came4U -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 12:25:43 PM)
quote: They head home and days go by (just a few days) and there is no contact, no indication that they even made it home safely, then one morning you get up and go to grab something (like meds that you have to take daily) and they are gone... just gone. You know they were there, daily, keep you alive stuff, is something you tend to keep track of. I knew something was wrong with that. person gone a few days.. grab meds you have to take daily wouldn't you have noticed the next day?

missturbation -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 12:35:42 PM)
quote: What kind of precautions do you take when having that s-type or D-type to your home for the first time? Absolutely none other than i now lock my weeks takings in the safe instead of leaving it lieing on my bedroom floor. That isn't down to a prospective partner though it was one of the UM's friends. I do however leave jewelry lieing around all over the place and to the extent that i probably wouldn't notice it had gone for week's. I also have 1000's of pounds worth of stock downstairs on the premises, but i'd like to see someone steal a 22 gallon barrel of beer out of my cellar without me noticing. Quite a high value in shoes around my house too but again i'd notice those straight away. Certainly something to think about though.

DavanKael -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 12:54:01 PM)
I don't think that Jewel did anything wrong in this thread or the other by sharing personal matters with others. Many of us who read the boards frequently have seen posts by Jewel and/or members of her family. Some of us have even had the privilege of a verbal smack upside the head from Jewel. :> When I read the other thread referenced and saw the s-type's reply, I had a bad feeling for the future of the relationship but I hoped I was wrong. Something just struck me as ingenuine or overly stilted in the wording. Then, I read this thread and shook my head. I don't know any of these folks personally but based on the knowledge I have of Jewel and her family members from the posts, I get the impression of straight-forward people who tend to behave on-board with consistency and thought. Best wishes to y'all, Jewel, Scooter, and Twice, Davan

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 1:35:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam Jewel blocks me and is accusing me of stealing. It's a shame( I own a rental property in Pittsburgh and re-routed there for the night), Jewel blocked you because she cannot believe what you did and has zero desire to deal with it. And since you brought it up as something to show that you are doing well, you forgot to mention said property is being foreclosed on. Or that it was purchased as your home, and only became a rental property when you could not afford the payments. FYI, this is a compliment "her pit bull wife after me".

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 1:41:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam Things sometimes get misplaced, or "kicked under the hutch". Until you know a little bit more thru time, it's just plain wrong to openly accuse someone of stealing in this way. I'm a former minister, Since I didn't take them,(unless someone else did), I'm sure they'll show up sooner or later and I'll expect a full apology at that time. No, the pills were not misplaced. They were, as was noted earlier in this thread, put away upon your being on your way here. Further more, they were counted Friday morning before Jewel's doctors appointment. I know within one or two pills exactly how many of what is where. Retired hospice RN, remember. Keeping track of meds for twenty people is normal for me, so doing it for two is nothing. A former minister for peyote ceremonies. And, Underumam, remember please, we posted no names, you did.

marie2 -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 1:43:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I don't think that Jewel did anything wrong in this thread or the other by sharing personal matters with others. I disagree. And I have nothing against or for any of those involved. But from a completely objective point of view, to publically accuse someone of criminal activity when you have no proof? I think it's a poor judgement call at the very least, and possibly one that could even carry legal consequences under certain circumstances.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 1:46:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 If this is a simple misunderstanding, it would be a lot easier to fix without there being a permanent public record in internetland. Maybe there's some male/female inequality here. No misunderstanding, not possible under the circumstances i previously described. It has nothing to do with being male, female, Dom, sub, transgender or a one eyed, one eared flying purple people eater, DO NOT come into this house and take stuff, period. We offer our guests the best of everything, and often gift them with things they've admired.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 1:51:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I don't think that Jewel did anything wrong in this thread or the other by sharing personal matters with others. But from a completely objective point of view, to publically accuse someone of criminal activity when you have no proof? I think it's a poor judgement call at the very least, and possibly one that could even carry legal consequences under certain circumstances. I beg to differ, we named no one by name at any point in time. The person involved named himself. As far as legal consequences, i don't think so. We could have called the police and had the can finger printed but why bother, the person involved lives out of state, is already, as we discovered during his visit, in trouble with the law, and the meds involved were not narcotics and replaced free of charge that morning.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 1:58:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam The lifestyle her and Scooter have going fit me to a T. There was/is some "outside interference" going on here, and what I thought was just distortion and rudeness in our group conversations, seems to be rearing its head in daily affairs as well. I'm not referring to Scooter and Jewel here. Well gee, that only leaves me then does'nt it? To start with, there are three people in the family. To finish, sorry if i took a stand on the whole you moving here before you fixed your legal problemd thing.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 2:01:31 PM)
*Ok, let me put an end to this... hopefully I'm not to late.* As I said... I started this thread as hypothetically as was humanly possible. Yes, twice is a bit of a pit bull at times. So, like I said.... I have no idea what happened, I'm sorting through a lot in my own mind right now. So, let me state simply... please, if you care at all let this thread die. Admittedly I phrased it all wrong, the timing for the post sucked, I was upset and hurt and this most definately isn't helping. I named no one and never would have. Now, please... mods... lock it? Please? *Jewel*

DavanKael -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 2:04:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I don't think that Jewel did anything wrong in this thread or the other by sharing personal matters with others. I disagree. And I have nothing against or for any of those involved. But from a completely objective point of view, to publically accuse someone of criminal activity when you have no proof? I think it's a poor judgement call at the very least, and possibly one that could even carry legal consequences under certain circumstances. One of the things that I've appreciated about the internet in the nearly 13 years I have been on it is that people can say whatever they want. It's the essence of free speech and expression. Yes, I know that may be a somewhat anarchic view but it's mine and I don't suggest you share it unless you wish. As Twice pointed out, no one in their family mentioned names. The other party did. I had a situation like this several months ago where another party mentioned names, masqueraded as someone else, etc. Jewel gave me a talking to for dishing on boards. I respect her right to her opinion. Certainly, the hypothetical was thinly veiled but I don't fault Jewel for that; we're all human and I don't think she needed to veil it at all. We all post to these boards with the potential that people are going to flame us being at least equal to those being supportive of us and, if we're really, really lucky, we get some genuine, well-intended feedback as I believe Jewel was hoping for and I know I was hoping for when I've started a thread. Consternation and hurt over something going differently than we'd hoped relationally, particularly when our good graces have been abused, is one of the potentials in any sort of relationship and I don't think it is wrong to share those things. If one person learns something or looks at something just a little differently as a result, can one relegate the enterprise to 'pointless' status? I think not. As for potential legal ramifications, I think it is a bit of a long leap to believe that anything would come of these vagaries stated here, and if it were to, I would want to know who was doing the prosecuting as they clearly have more time and resources on their hands than any legal agency of which I am aware. Negative feelings happen. Negative circumstances occur. They just do. Learning from each other and reaching out to a network that one positively participates with isn't, in my view, inappropriate. Your thoughts are yours and they are not wrong, I simply respectfully disagree. Davan

RedMagic1 -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 2:07:10 PM)
Don't you understand that it doesn't matter who is "right?" You're just making this uglier and uglier. How many potential subs are going to want to visit you if they read this thread? No matter what really happened? I see two choices for all four of you: 1. Hold your head high. 2. Walk through the mud. Edited to add: I agree with ShiftedJewel's most recent post.

DavanKael -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 2:07:14 PM)
Sorry, Jewel,I must have hit sendright when you did. No further comments from this camper, per your wishes. Davan

lilgirl2008 -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 2:22:42 PM)
never mind.......

Twicehappy2x -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 4:36:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Don't you understand that it doesn't matter who is "right?" You're just making this uglier and uglier. I am going to comment on this and then i will be adding no further comments to this thread. It was wayyyy past ugly when items were removed from this home. Does it matter to you who is right, no, i am sure it does not. Does it matter to me? Yes, in some respects it does in others it does not. Like i commented earlier, no one in this house named names. And i've responded to a lot of folks who pondered "could it have been a mistake?" Trust me, we looked at any and every possibility. And absolutely when somebody comes on and outs their self and in the process states the following about me "There was/is some "outside interference" going on here, and what I thought was just distortion and rudeness in our group conversations, seems to be rearing its head in daily affairs as well. I'm not referring to Scooter and Jewel here. " I am going to defend myself. I am not "outside interference", and i see the person who made this comment did not elaborate on the subject i brought up that upset him so. Yes, i commented strongly on his need to clean up his legal affairs prior to coming here. There is no reason he should have expected us to do this for him just so he could get here faster. We as a group are quite willing to help take care of past issues for a prospective member of the group, we also expect them to show at least as much effort as we do. As far as an implication that i would have done anything with Jewel's meds, well i've been here taking care of them for years now without any difficulties prior to this. I can and have simply called the doctor for whatever she needs at the moment. As for how many potential subs will want to visit after reading this thread, well if they are sticky fingered i hope it discourages them. We have hosted about 25 folks from cm to date. All of them will tell your our hospitality is something to be appreciated. We've even done a wedding, including a cake and flowers for a couple we'd only met in rl/rt once before. Everybody will take a different set of thoughts from this thread. And that is fine. It was not our intention to name anyone specifically. It was Jewel's intention to see if anybody took precautions that maybe we missed, in order to avoid a similar occurrence in the future. I'll admit freely, being the "pit bull" i am going to jump in and defend or explain any and all misconceptions that came about due to this thread. Nobody has to like that or agree with it. What i love, i protect, plain and simple. Hopefully this thread will now just die away. Either way i've made our case as clear as i can and won't comment further. Thank you to those who posted support and sympathy to Jewel. It meant a great deal to all of us.

KatyLied -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 6:57:02 PM)
There was never a hypothetical in this thread. Anyone who reads on the boards knows exactly what happened and who the visitor is, it's all in another thread.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 7:35:25 PM)
Gee, I guess it's been to my benefit that I've been away dealing with my daughter and her situation for the past couple of weeks, because when I read this thread, I knew Jewel, Twice, and Scooter from seeing their post on the boards, but I didn't know who the family was 'dating' or anything, and to me, it sounded just like a hypothetical question. "How do you protect your home and stuff you can't or would rather not lose when you invite someone new that you don't really know into your home?" Sounds pretty hypothetical to me... Maybe some folks are spending way too much time mucking around in the gossip mill and reading too much into stuff. Maybe it would do a few folks good to maybe take a couple of weeks off so they weren't so hung up on who is doing what to whom, and could answer a reasonable question about handling a pretty common situation without getting all buggy about it.

marie2 -> RE: That first home visit... (1/13/2009 10:24:48 PM)
Deleted, since they asked for this to end.

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