RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (Full Version)

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SthrnCom4t -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/23/2009 2:15:23 PM)

Perhaps a dedicated chat room for the banter, which I know many enjoy, but which can get tedius when trying to read a thread and wish to stay on topic?

Just a thought.



ModeratorEleven -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/23/2009 2:35:09 PM)

There already is one.

Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Now, back to the topic at hand...

XI



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/23/2009 6:03:45 PM)

Thank you, Mod 11.

"How do you separate the real people on this site form the scammers?"

I haven't read the whole thread (thank goodness!) but these are the things I would do:

1. State very clearly somewhere in the beginning of your profile that you are not interested in a pro or "tribute" Domme at all.

2. Follow through on #1 by making sure you use good common sense. If it seems to good to be true, it probably is! If you are over 30, and have not yet developed a good "scammer" radar, you're lucky to have survived to this point.

If they are from Ghana, or have only one, fabulously beautiful profile pic, if they miraculously saying all the things you want to hear, if they are flat out asking for money or stating anywhere in their profile anything about requiring money or tribute or financial domination... If they are not willing to help you verify their age/gender, appearance etc. fairly quickly and easily, or are not willing or able to move to r/t in a timely manner, those are a few of the more obvious red flags.

Get your guard up! those of us who are genuine will not be offended. Being cautious is smart, and should therefore be an attractive quality in a potential partner. Be very firm and clear about what you are seeking, and don't waste time conversing with those who don't fit your needs.

There is no substitute for good common sense. To get some, learning from your mistakes would be a good start. Stop doing the things that were attracting, or encouraging scammers.

To get a different result, you must change your behavior. Repeating the same actions and expecting a different result is one of the definitions of stupidity.

And lastly: improve your self esteem, or communication style or whatever else you need to do so that you are not, nor do you appear to be, desperate. Scammers can smell desparation! Recognize that a quality relationship is not going to develop overnight, and is worth waiting for, and putting in the proper time and effort for, once you have found someone who actually fits your needs.



katevero -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 2:28:38 AM)

its nice to meet you hope we can get to know more about each other and also try and exchange mails to see where it goes from there . My name is kate I'm single and looking for the right man to spend the rest of my life with , Honest and loyal is the root relationship and hope u can be honest with me and i will take you to were you never been b'4 in your life . You can send me your email kate. its nice to meet you hope we can get to know more about each other and also try and exchange mails to see where it goes from there . My name is kate I'm single and looking for the right man to spend the rest of my life with , Honest and loyal is the root relationship and hope u can be honest with me and i will take you to were you never been b'4 in your life . You can send me your email kate.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 3:16:39 AM)

Exhibit A?     [sm=lame.gif]    M



UrGoddess -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 5:10:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissIsis

I don't know why, but it seems many submissive males are extremely aggressive, & telling them, "I am not interested," doesn't work.  I can certainly understand why some women on here will tell them they want tribute.  Very often, it is the only way some of the guys will stop wasting her time, without outright hurting his feelings.  Your post just showed that the tactic to get you to leave her alone, has worked.



I am very tired of subs sending me messages that they will be visiting my country and come to serve me. Makes me feel like I am just there for them, like I am not even a person. Over time my profile has become more and more harsh in the hope to keep them away.

I had a lot of so called submissives who promised the stars, the moon, the sun, how they would serve me, how loyal they would be. Maybe I had bad luck, but most of the men turned out to want their kinks fulfilled, a good few were married or in relationships and lied about it, 2 of them turned out to be mentally unstable and endangered me. Others talk and talk for weeks and months and then disappear when it comes to meeting me.

I found a way of dealing with them that shows if they actually are serious or they just talk, or they are selfish without regards. I get a lot of abuse from it but it also cuts down on the time it takes to deal with requests.



hardbodysub -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 8:41:35 AM)

quote:

don't want their money. I want them. All of them, time, real effort, honesty, sacrifice, their submission. Money is a walk in the park by comparison.


It really depends on the person. Some people have more excess money than time, and some have more time available than money.



Nikitaa -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 1:06:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: bisubboy1

I have been on this site for a few weeks and have written back and forth with a few Dommes. To be blunt it seems like all the Dommes on this site are only interested in milking desperate subs for their money. I am a sincere sub looking for a long term relationship with a real Domme, but I am very skeptical when after one or maybe two emails a woman that knows nothing about me or me about her is asking for a tribute.

How do you separate the real people on this site from the scammers?

Thanks!
b.


People asking for tributes are not always scammers. Maybe some dominants believe if a man does not tribute then the man is not true submissive.
There are 387569458376934576439 sincere subs looking for real relationships with dominant women. Women know so many ask for tribute because they know some men will give.
Is not easy to receive something and not offer something.

Any submissive I plan to meet must bring a box of chocolate. If the submissive is time waster then I have chocolate to make me feel better.



Andalusite -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 1:53:56 PM)

Nikitaa, that's funny!

I was just thinking about this - if someone explicitly offered me a financial "tribute," or offered me a gift when we hadn't even met yet, it would be a deal-breaker. I wouldn't be interested in meeting them at all. I do like feeling pampered/spoiled a bit by any guy I go out with. He doesn't need to spend much money, he can treat me to a sandwich from Arby's or Subway, give me a single rosebud that cost a dollar or so at the 7-11, or a single See's candy chocolate raspberry truffle which is only $.50, and I'll still feel all feminine and mushy and stuff about it. It's part of being a gentleman, like opening doors when we're on a date together. It's not necessarily a dealbreaker if he doesn't, and I always make sure I have money to cover my half (and often verbally offer to), but it's kind of a down-mark if he does ask me to, or accepts the offer. I know it's totally irrational, and I hadn't even realised it was a "test" of sorts until a date I had last night with a man I met here.

So far, I seem to have pretty good filter/radar/etc. for people who aren't fakes/flakes! There are quite a few who are obviously incompatible for geographic, relationship, or other reasons. Others get dropped because they aren't interesting to talk with. So far, I've only been here 3 weeks, and have met 5 people in person. One of them didn't have any chemistry/connection with me, the others all seem worth getting to know better, and they seem to feel the same way about me. :) It's too early to know if one will develop into a relationship, but I'm having fun exploring.

For some weird reason, though, most of the ones who are making it through the filters are switch or Dom/top, rather than sub/bottom. Most of the subs who have contacted me are either not local, or have cardboard-cutout generic profiles that are boring and unappealing. I've been rather surprised about the discrepancy!



Nikitaa -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 3:15:27 PM)

^^^
I do not like when men offer money. I can not be purchased.

I did not know CM had fake and spam filters. I not think they do.



beeble -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 3:23:31 PM)

quote:

Nikitaa wrote: I did not know CM had fake and spam filters. I not think they do.

Andalusite's `fake filter' is her brain.

beeble.



Andalusite -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/11/2009 6:17:10 PM)

Yep, beeble, that's exactly it. You *can* filter to some extent through CM's e-mail system, but I didn't bother, since I figure I may want some out of state or couples to be able to write about forum postings, for example. So far, I haven't been overwhelmed with e-mail, but have been getting a nice, fairly steady level of contact that is managable. I get an occasional obvious incompatible person, so I just drop them. Otherwise, I don't really filter for "fake" per se, more "uninteresting/incompatible." Maybe the no limits submit to anyone slaves really mean it, but I don't want them. [;)] Anyhow, I don't put any energy into them, just respond wishing them luck, or block them if they persist, or go completely over the top and are rude. A very high percentage of my e-mail has been from people who are single, local, and reasonably interesting, though. I have the impression from their feedback that my profile/etc. is specifically attracting that - lots of comments that I'm down-to-earth, real, actually have a personality, etc., and that it is relatively unusual in their experience here. I try to draw what I want, quality, not quantity.



MissDaisy6767 -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/12/2009 5:00:53 PM)

I personally do not require tributes because to Me, to receive a gift that is given only because its required has no meaning for Me.. alternatively, a slave or submissive that gives a gift to Me freely / voluntarily, now that, to Me.. has meaning and significance.
As for scammers, if you are very new, My suggestion is take your time getting to know people. Get to know the person, the human being first.. before learning more about the bdsm side of things.
If the Dominant you are seeking is truly interested, they will be patient with you.  Scammers generally tend to be in a hurry... from what I hear.

Good luck,
MD



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (2/13/2009 8:31:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDaisy6767
If the Dominant you are seeking is truly interested, they will be patient with you.
Good luck,
MD
I disagree with this part of your statement.    I'm not terribly patient, especially especially when it comes to secretive/evasive/paranoid people online.     M



LadySteel -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (3/10/2009 3:07:51 PM)

I have been in the lifestyle for 7 years and counting and I love every minute of it.  I dream about my next session or my next assignment to give and I get excited.   I have been a Pro Domme for a little over 2 years and I can say that if you are good at what you do then people dont mind paying you.   But subs are subs and slaves are slaves and no one likes to feel like they have been taken advantage of when it comes to money.  I get alot of nasty emails ranging from slaves calling me fat and telling me to get off welfare or did I sleep with my teacher to get my degree.  I laugh at them alot but it is ridiculous about all the crap that Pro Dommes have to deal with on here.  My favorite thing to say to them is if they were not typing me a message they could be finding an owner. lol



LadySunn -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (3/10/2009 8:43:12 PM)

After one or two emails, I suggest a face to face meeting. The scam artist & fakers ALWAYS come up with an excuse for why they could not show. Not once but two or more times. 

The required face to face meeting works like a charm for screening.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (3/10/2009 9:53:52 PM)

I agree that a request for a meeting date, and insisting on waiting for kink related conversation until that time, is far more effective at losing the online lovers than asking for money. [:D]   M



BoiJen -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (3/11/2009 10:23:29 AM)

Hey...that works the other way around too...though most Dommes, Professional or not won't give you the time of day if you fail to show up the first time.

PS a "car accident" is the lamest excuse ever and a dead give away.



Lynnxz -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (3/11/2009 11:04:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Hey...that works the other way around too...though most Dommes, Professional or not won't give you the time of day if you fail to show up the first time.

PS a "car accident" is the lamest excuse ever and a dead give away.



Hehehe... so true!



undergroundsea -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (3/11/2009 4:51:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
PS a "car accident" is the lamest excuse ever and a dead give away.


Paste from elsewhere:

I sometimes see a question about who is more imaginative: tops, bottoms, women, men? Rubbish, I say. The answer is so obvious. The most imaginative creature in the universe is the male sub....when he is late or does not show up for a meeting.

Mistress, I'm sorry I'm late, umm, my dog ate my, umm, car! And I couldn't call you because my cell phone was in the car! Then I had to give him some laxatives and wait for them to kick in. I guess because the car was in his stomach, it look them longer to get through. And then the car was in bad shape and I had to wash it. Excuse me? The layers of dirt on the car? Oh yes, I washed it but then had to drive through a dust storm.

And if eating the car seems a bit far-fetched:

Mistress, I am sorry I'm late! My cat ate my cell phone! And my dog is very protective so he got mad and ate the cat! And so I couldn't call. Oh and before eating the cell phone, my cat also ate my car keys. I mean, his hunger was just never satiated! So you can imagine how stressed I have been with this huge dilemma. I think a heavy flogging should help me get my mind off it. In fact, I have a great idea, Mistress! Rather than rely on my cell phone, I will memorize your number. When you flog me, after each hit I will recite your number. Smart idea, isn't it? Shall we start with the digits for the area code?

;-)

Cheers,

Sea



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