RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (Full Version)

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MissIsis -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 3:36:07 AM)

I don't know why, but it seems many submissive males are extremely aggressive, & telling them, "I am not interested," doesn't work.  I can certainly understand why some women on here will tell them they want tribute.  Very often, it is the only way some of the guys will stop wasting her time, without outright hurting his feelings.  Your post just showed that the tactic to get you to leave her alone, has worked.



LadyLou -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 5:30:38 AM)

 

To the OP. There are many people in this lifestyle out there for whom their primary interest in you will be your money. Some of these are legit and respected pro-dommes. Some of them are men and woman who just wish to anonymously take your cash. Some of them are upfront about what they want from you, some are more deceitful. They are all genuine and real in their intention. They are attracted to this site because it's free and about kinky adult stuff, and thus is a magnet for men, for whom their primary motivation is to get off, with no other investment other than their cock effluent. With a small minority of women who are happy to be used purely as a wank object without getting something out of it, some of these guys are eager/desperate enough to pay. It is a quick option to a superficial but gratifying response. It's win-win all round exploitation. It's genuine and 'real', not all woman asking for money “scammers”. But this set up is obviously not for you. Therefor, put a disclaimer on your profile stating you are not seeking that. The less ethical ones will most probably not even read your profile and still spam you. In which case, use the delete and block feature.




Not “all” dommes on this site are seeking to “milk” male subs, I would guess they are in the very vocal minority. What you are experiencing is a perspective bias, based on limited experience, hence why it “seems” like that. Making arrogant sweeping statements will only serve to alienate you from your target audience. As a guidance (though not always the case) if a female profile emails you, without having looked at your profile, and starts straight out with the 'clichéd domme talk', then it is most likely you have a spammer touting for business. Most people who are interested in a personal connection will have looked at your profile. If a woman shows no real interest in you as a person, red flag it. If a woman only asks kink related questions, red flag it.

As a person looking for a personal connection and a long term relationship, think about the questions you are interested in knowing, and what is a priority in your agenda for assessing someone – and check if the woman you are chatting to is acting in a similar manner. People looking for a rounded relationship will want to get to know you in a 'rounded' way. But I am guessing you know all this already. In which case, may I ask why are you aiming your OP at the mistresses in the Ask A Mistress forum?


Concentrate your energy on those that interest you, not those you don't seek.



Lockit -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 7:02:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

9 out of 10 women on this site are scammers. All of them under the age of 30 want money. Most over 30 want to be married. The few who are left probably don't answer email. Your odds here aren't good unless you have an 8+ inch cock and lots of money. Sorry, but that's the blunt truth.



I have read a number of your post, have responded to a couple of them, but mostly just shook my head and went on my way.  I haven't quite figured out 'your' game... but something is wrong here.  Inflamitory statements seem to be your way here.  I tend to be pretty direct, tough and say things how I see them.  We all have our way of doing things.

But... let's look at a couple facts.  Yes, a lot of women on this site are scammer's... but here on the boards you will find less of that type of activity simply because a scammer here get's to meet monitor to monitor with those who will address the scam and most scammer's don't stick around.  Now... many will not answer emails from people they are not interested in for one reason or many, but many do even then respond.  These things are typical for an online site.

Now.. let's get a bit more personal.  I have found a lot of passive aggressive behavior such as a man getting upset because he cannot find or get what he wants and then get's angry and/or lashes out.  I am seeing that in your post and always in your post are the same arguements of... women here just want to get married or be 24/7... they are scammer's... they don't answer mail.  I have already said something about the mail and scammers... and there are many threads you can find in search, about both.  As I said we are going personal here... whether you take part or not.

You are a married man who isn't telling his wife what he is seeking here at this site.  You are wearing whitey tighties... you are complaining often and you have a lot of negative attitude that is seen often.  Anyone who receive's an email from you can see these things very easily.  Most do not wish to become a part time sexual/dominant to a man who has vowed to do things with his wife he is not doing... and to be in a situation that could pose for legal and personal drama when this wife finds out what her dear husband is doing.  Then many get a little disgusted when a man wants to treat them like a lil playtoy there for his amusement while wifey gets the goods (his time and attention and love.) which is debateable because of the lie and deciet that must take place to get your butt spanked or your kink on. 

You may not value us... but we just may value ourselves and simply do not want what you offer going by what we see and know of you.  So... along the line... you realize that no one is giving you what you want and are not responding to you the way you feel your whitey tighties should bring them on.

What is it you can be or offer to a woman that makes you a good pick for her?  Why blame the women because they do not want to mess around with a married man who is keeping his wife in the dark?  Why not show your chest or arms... or back of head shot, which would indicate to most that you are thinking different than you actually are... and it is all about what is under those whitey tighties?  Just what is it that you have to offer the non-scammer's?

If you are going to lash out with your opinions that aren't even all that correct from what I have seen, you are your own worst enemy... not the dominant's who reject you for many reasons that are valid, that YOU present them with.

You call these dominant's scammers and such.. but what are you?  A married guy, pissed off and moaning becasue no one is paying attention and giving him what he wants.  Ummmm... think about that.  What does it suggest?  An angry man... a horny angry man and/or a lying, horny, angry man who isn't afraid to stomp his feet and get very expressive in his temper tantrum, repeatedly.

And... I have never seen a (female) dominant profile that mentioned cock size.  So shall we add that you may have issue with the size of your cock?

If you can't improve, I doubt your chances will improve, for even the women who will be with a married man with a wife unaware and who like whitey tighties... will want a better attitude from their part time submissive.  Get a clue dude.  The problem isn't with those who won't email you, service you and all that... the problem is you.



thishereboi -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 7:37:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: bisubboy1

I have been on this site for a few weeks and have written back and forth with a few Dommes. To be blunt it seems like all the Dommes on this site are only interested in milking desperate subs for their money. I am a sincere sub looking for a long term relationship with a real Domme, but I am very skeptical when after one or maybe two emails a woman that knows nothing about me or me about her is asking for a tribute.

How do you separate the real people on this site from the scammers?

Thanks!
b.


9 out of 10 women on this site are scammers. All of them under the age of 30 want money. Most over 30 want to be married. The few who are left probably don't answer email. Your odds here aren't good unless you have an 8+ inch cock and lots of money. Sorry, but that's the blunt truth.



That may be the truth in your world and if that is the case I feel sorry for ya. Maybe if you lost the attitude things would look up.



tornaway -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 4:21:48 PM)

 
    Lockit - your thorough , no nonsense words just ROCK !    Perhaps he'll actually read them and learn something - or not ....



Lockit -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 4:41:38 PM)

LOL... most likely not... but, one can hope.  Hearing the same complaint over and over again, is rather tedious... but then somehow, I don't think he cares!



Lynnxz -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 4:46:15 PM)

Ahahahahaha!

Lockit... I love you so hard. <3



MsStarlett -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 4:59:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

Interesting, though, that you should describe marriage as a `scam' when you're here to find somebody with whom you can cheat on your wife.


Touche`!



amenableboy -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 5:15:18 PM)


Interesting to run across this, as I just...this...moment finished a journal entry about a woman with whom I exchanged a number of emails, only to have her ask me for a "tribute". That won't work, I think, so the correspondence ends, leaving me with feelings of regret, for not only the wasted time, but also because I believe her when she claimed to want a real relationship.

Oh well. As in all areas of life, there will be disingenuous people here. Why would we think CM would be any different? This is the way of the world. It is dismaying, certainly. But, before total despondence sets in, let's get this into perspective. Ok, we will run into a scammer or two, or three or four. We will run into people who claim to be one thing, and turn out to be another. There will be those odd down moments when we wonder if we will *ever* find the right person for us. Does it follow, then, that *every* domme here is out to rip you off, steal your money, exploit you?

Well, no, of course not. I choose not to believe that, because it is simply not true. There are plenty of fine dominant women here who are looking for exactly what you, I and other submissive males are seeking: something real. And you probably won't find them immediately. Something I have often told myself is that finding a partner here is not a heck of a lot different than finding a partner in any dating scene: it comes down to trial and error, which isn't so bad, as this period of trial and error often helps us to learn about ourselves. I know I've learned plenty about me, and you are going to learn plenty about you. Trust me on this one.

So, the best advice I think anyone could give you has already been given, and, as I have read through this thread, I've taken it to heart myself: be true to yourself, take it slow and trust your instincts.

Send me a private message, and I will tell you where to send the fee for this post. What, you didn't think this was free, did you?



MsStarlett -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 5:18:36 PM)

Ditto, Lockit!

Don't cha just luv the ones who have nothing to offer, but complain bitterly because no Domme wants to 'snap them up'?  (By "Nothing to offer" - I am not revering to finances.  No looks.  No time.  No brains.  No personality.  No commitment.  No sense of humor.  No tallent.  No dick.  Nothing!)  These "Nothing to Offer" subs always seem to be the ones squalking the loudest that all Dommes are just prostitutes.  I don't read the "Ask a Master" section, but I have a funny feeling that they don't get called Gigilos by every femsub who can't find a good match.

While others, many of which post here regularly, are charming, witty and friendly and have open friendships with many lifestyle Dommes as well as other subs.  They may not always be able to find a good match close enough to their homes, but they have excellent relationships with many Dommes who express desires to session with these sub males if they ever get the chance.  Totally free of charge.  Some of the Dommes even open up their homes to these gentlemen or take them on vaccations and spend extended periods of time with them.  The key word here is that the GENTLEMEN are accepted and welcomed everywhere they go while the NtO's get left behind wondering why everyone else seems to be having such a good time.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 5:53:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett
I don't read the "Ask a Master" section, but I have a funny feeling that they don't get called Gigilos by every femsub who can't find a good match.

I read the Ask a Master section, and you are spot on.  There is a small-but-vocal minority here that is slimy and whiny.



Jaded2005 -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/17/2009 8:05:04 PM)

I have been on this site for a few weeks and have written back and forth with a few Dommes. To be blunt it seems like all the Dommes on this site are only interested in milking desperate subs for their money. I am a sincere sub looking for a long term relationship with a real Domme, but I am very skeptical when after one or maybe two emails a woman that knows nothing about me or me about her is asking for a tribute.

How do you separate the real people on this site from the scammers?

Thanks!
b. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.Try local munches
2. Read between the lines. Look at the goals, direction and purpose.
3. Read the profile better next time.  



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 12:36:38 AM)

To have a relationship with me, any guy is going to be spending some money on:

1)gasoline and vehicle maintenance or rental expenses, to come to me. Not always cheap these days.

2) His own insertable toys. I have this interesting notion that butt plugs, dildoes used without a condom on them, and such are single-user toys. (Given the residents of your own gut can make you sick if ingested, and with some of the STDs out there...) That adds up, and I don't feel like dropping a couple hundred dollars on every guy I scene with. I buy my floggers, crops, canes, fetish wear, etc. He can buy his own butt plugs. If he doesn't know what to get, I can make suggestions. I also think he can buy some of his own fetish wear or panties or what not. I don't have space, quite frankly, to store even a three-pack of lots of different sizes of panties for potential play partners, and I can think of a lot of other and more amusing things to spend my money on. He can go to Target and buy his own panties. This doesn't mean that I won't see something on clearance and get it for a regular partner because I know he'll find it exquisitely humiliating, but if you want La Perla, you can pay for it yourself. (grin)

3) Roughly half the time when we go out for a burger once everyone's heart rate returns to normal, he's gonna get to buy, just like any other friends I've got. Sometimes I buy, sometimes we each pay for our own, sometimes he buys. In a friendship it generally levels out to about fair.

I don't see this as unreasonable, unfair, or demanding. Sure, I like presents... I think most people do...but I'd rather have him remember to take out the garbage on Tuesday night without a reminder. :-)



undergroundsea -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 1:20:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus
If I had too many responsibilities, I would NEVER see any slaves. I would simply not have the time. It's just that simple. So their supporting me like their wife is a small yet necessary ingredient in our relationship or I would not be able to be there for them at all. My slaves are demanding. They want all of me, and I give it to them.


I assume by responsibilities you mean either career-related responsibilities or miscellaneous life responsibilities such as taking care of tasks at home.

Almost everybody has career responsibilities and other life responsibilities yet they find time for whatever relationship, recreation, or social outlets they have. Thus, the argument that a submissive must relieve a domme of her responsibilities so that she may have time to play does not resonate with me. After all, the submissive also has responsibilities and is still making time for play.

If the play is uninteresting for the domme and she is doing it as a service for a sub and requires compensation in some way, the matter is another one. And in such a case, participating in this manner is a choice. When I am uninterested to play with someone, I do not ask for compensation but instead seek someone else with whom I am happy.

From what I can see the argument aims to achieve convenience (monetary or through labor) that can be had due to the supply and demand ratios or whatever other forces that may allow it.

Cheers,

Sea



MistressRouge -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 2:07:36 AM)

I am a Pro Domme, I session for tribute, however I am also lifestyle so I have none-tribute slaves too.

I can vouch genuine Professionals, need not tout for business especially here at CM. 

I have actually met a few subs from this site, and I can honestly say, that the problem is not the genuine Pro-Dommes, but people that feel the world owes them something for nothing. 

It is more likely scammers or as on other sites, so called lifestylers that also demand cash tribute, but havent the balls to be honest about it.

This is an important factor, genuine, need not harrass or hassle subs here via memo, or email, touting for business. I would not consider this site as a potential high-end earner anyway, and I utilise my freetime on forums as this, for friendships mainly, discussions and sometimes the chatroom [:)]

Who ever gets scammed, also has a personal responsibility to themselves.

Why blame the world because someone else has penetrated and manipulated your wallet, only you have the complete power, over your own financial decisions!

Someone else paying, someone elses living expenses/bills is still a financial arrangement.

I pay my own bills, and I am far too independant to have someone else keep me in my way of living.

I would rather exchange my energies in a professional session, at least the client has something in return for his hard earned cash.

My lifestyle slaves are different, I do as I please with them, each valuable in their own special way, with no finances exchanged whatsoevere, when I summon them to me.

I love what I do, in real-time, I do not cater for any online at all, however I do have subs, especially overseas that I have has friends via memo here.

I blame mainly online Domination, at least in real-time face to face, all is as it should be.



beeble -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 4:21:31 AM)

quote:

LunaVenus wrote: If I had too many responsibilities, I would never see any slaves [my emphasis -- beeble].

undergroundsea wrote:  Almost everybody has career responsibilities and other life responsibilities yet they find time for whatever relationship, recreation, or social outlets they have. Thus, the argument that a submissive must relieve a domme of her responsibilities so that she may have time to play does not resonate with me. After all, the submissive also has responsibilities and is still making time for play.

To be fair, if LunaVenus has several slaves then it would be harder for her to make time for several relationships than it would be for her slaves to make time for one relationship each.  But in the more common case of a Domme with a single submissive or slave, I agree entirely with what you say.

beeble.

(Edited to fix borken quoting.)



LaTigresse -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 4:35:20 AM)

I don't know. I have almost always had a life partner, or two, of some sort around, raised 2.5 kids, always mutiple animals, dogs cats horses etc, worked a full time job, competed in dressage (many hours of training involved) events, done volunteer work.........and somehow made it all work. Given my life experiences, the argument of multiple slaves just doesn't hold much water for me.



Jasmyn -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 6:16:06 AM)

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus
quote:

If I had too many responsibilities, I would NEVER see any slaves. I would simply not have the time. It's just that simple. So their supporting me like their wife is a small yet necessary ingredient in our relationship or I would not be able to be there for them at all. My slaves are demanding. They want all of me, and I give it to them.


ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
quote:

Thus, the argument that a submissive must relieve a domme of her responsibilities so that she may have time to play does not resonate with me. After all, the submissive also has responsibilities and is still making time for play.


You might want to rethink that as you've made an assumption Luna's need for her slaves to support her is singularly about play and not encompassing of a consenting relationship dynamic... which is how I read it.   I can't see how her having slaves take care of her in the manner of a wife as being about relieving her of her responsibilities..she is still responsible for the relationship and the dynamic that allows them unhindered to have the relationship/s they have.  Maybe, just maybe, seems as she has these relationships that her slaves see their role in her life entirely different to how you are viewing her on the one dimensional view of play only.



Lockit -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 6:46:15 AM)

Okay... how about the dominant that support's their spouse?  I have had two that I supported for the most part.  They could do what they wanted... it was a choice at that time.  Then there were those that I made more money than.  We saw nothing wrong with our relationship as it was. 

There are some with family and someone might stay home and care for that family as an agreed upon situation.  Not everyone is single and has no one but themselves to think about.  We all have different relationships and dynamic's and to say one is wrong over another who is living satisfactory with someone... or has... is simply wrong.

Your opinions are that.

If you don't like a dominant that expects certain things... so be it... find another.  If you think certain dynamic's wrong... then don't do them.  But to diss someone else's dynamics in their relationship isn't any of your business if they are not here complaining.  If they come in saying this is what works for them... who is anyone here to challenge that?  No one is being abused... no one is unable to walk away.

If submissive men are having a problem with what dominant women are asking for or demanding... then stop giving them anything they ask for or demand.  Send your message by not complying... but to have such an attitude that you must explain your view, by challenging their dynamic's or relationships or way of doing things.. without knowing the whole situation.. is just as unfair as the agenda you are pushing.

For what some might consider unfair or abusive... there are other's who don't and love what you might not.  To each their own...

I do believe in equal rights for men, women, dominant and submissive... but some don't want equal rights... those fighting for them is all well and good, but don't forget that there are some who don't want equal rights and they have just as much right to it as you have to your equal everything's.



beeble -> RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes (1/18/2009 7:18:26 AM)

quote:

Lockit wrote: I do believe in equal rights for men, women, dominant and submissive...

Hmm.  I'm not sure about equal rights for dominant and submissive: doesn't the act of submission voluntarily set up a situation with unequal rights?  My Mistress has the right to touch my body in any way she pleases; I am usually allowed to touch her as I please but she can forbid that whenever she wants to.  She has the right to cause me pain but I have no such right over her.  She has the right to control my orgasms and my sexual pleasure but I have no such control over her.

That doesn't mean that I'm any less of a person but the relationship is, by its nature, one of unequal rights.

beeble.



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