RE: Chastity Devices

RE: Chastity Devices (Full Version)

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azjojoba -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 1:16:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thedavezone Does it mention what happens during nighttime erections during sleep? Ouch!

slavekal -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 3:37:29 AM)
We just became aware of a new device that is made of softer material. It is supposed to be more comfortable. Ms. Mlicious just ordered me the new Birdlocked device for Valentine's Day. I look forward to a cuckolded, chastized evening on the fourteenth.

hereyesruponyou -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 2:13:48 PM)
I've talked with many many men who have approached me because my profile notes an interest and knowledge of chastity. I have only interacted on a long term basis with 2 of them. With the first one, our relationship did not work out for many reasons, but he continued the chastity and i continue to have a key here. Mostly symbolic. Since he started he decided to increase his chastity device wearing time on his own because he was seeking something outside of his own mind to control his body in ways he felt he was unable to do. He has since gone to a newer device and from not giving himself release, he informs me that his organ has shrunk and he feels more feminized. Which was HIS goal, and only one of the reasons we did not click long term. I still treasure his friendship and hope he finds that woman out there who wants someone they can deny constantly and be happy with that. My pet wears a cb-3000. He wore it before we met, but had not had a good keyholder to whom he could give as much control over to as he prefered. We consider the ring of the device to be his true collar as he almost never goes anywhere without it, including the beer fest where i allowed him to forgo the full device based on his good behavior and the circumstance involved. Pet is a seriously sexual person, as am i, and it is a mjor turn ON for him to have his gentials owned and controlled by another. And yes there are times when i revel in teasing him when i know he will get nothing from it except a very strong reminder that all of his parts are MY property. I also so enjoy hearing him beg and listening to him whimper for release and tend to be more free with his rewards than others. But it is very rare that he does not immediately put the device back on (after cleanup) following an orgasm. And yes, there are some nights when it is a bit harder to fall or stay asleep. That's the price he pays for belonging to me. To me chastity is just one aspect to be explored in a relationship. But there are many many more in the Femdom realm which my pet and i sahre an interest in. Azjojoba, you don't strike me as the type to be interested in that culture, so why are you hanging around the Ask A Mistress area? Perhaps you are not looking for someone to own you, but rather the more vanilla mistress who will just give you the sex your wife is denying you???

beeble -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 2:21:34 PM)
quote: hereyesruponyou wrote: My pet wears a cb-3000. He wore it before we met, but had not had a good keyholder to whom he could give as much control over to as he prefered. We consider the ring of the device to be his true collar as he almost never goes anywhere without it, including the beer fest where i allowed him to forgo the full device based on his good behavior and the circumstance involved. Heeeeey! Are you my Mistress in disguise? I didn't get a CB3000 until after I'd been hers for a few months but she let me go to a beer festival the other week wearing just the ring of the CB. [:)] beeble.

herpreciouspet -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 2:56:02 PM)
beeble, i was so thankful that Mistress allowed me to remove her device, when attending the beerfest. As you know, there are far more urinals than stalls at these beerfests. And urinating in a standing position, can be hit or miss, so to speak. herpreciouspet

beeble -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 3:10:49 PM)
quote: herpreciouspet wrote: i was so thankful that Mistress allowed me to remove her device, when attending the beerfest. As you know, there are far more urinals than stalls at these beerfests. And urinating in a standing position, can be hit or miss, so to speak. Yeah. As it happened, this beer festival had a decent number of (clean!) stalls but that's not the norm. Kita left me wearing just the ring for a couple of days afterwards, which was total torment as I'm not used to getting a raging erection at the least provocation. You know how people talk waking up in the night because they're trying to get hard in their chastity belts and it hurts? I was waking up in the night because I actually was achingly hard, unable to do anything at all about it and kept that way by the ring. beeble.

4u2spoil -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 4:56:14 PM)
Try telling that to my ex. He was ready to get into the CB3000 before I could even bring it up. He's worn his for some time, though he also knows how to milk himself for health reasons. He didn't need encouragement from my end to get excited by long term chastity though. Side note to the original poster, I've heard of the CB3000 cracking/breaking from men of all sizes. I'm not sure if it's a manufacturing problem, or one that arises after long term use. But from a man with a larger penis and one with an average/smaller penis, both experienced problems with it not being able to stand up to an erection at some point (not right away, just a note to say don't consider it a forever restraint) quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba I can definitely see the fun in that for a session, but I can't see it for days or weeks. Each to their own though, but I jthink there are many more dommes who want to do this then men. It's one of those unfulfilled female fantasies.

hereyesruponyou -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 6:28:21 PM)
But they are not too expensive to replace if they at least last a year or more

steffie -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 7:42:00 PM)
I'm always amazed by the number of men who look for a woman who will keep them in chastity. It strikes me as the same as the man who wants to be cuckolded. Or beaten or whatever. It seems against the entire idea of a Female-led relationship. The focus should center on her needs and desires. Not his fantasy about having his pathetic worthless penis locked up. When will submissive males ever learn that it is not about him? The first time a Mistress used a chastity device on me, it was because she decided she wanted complete control over my sex life. It is quite powerful for the woman to quite literally have your sex life hanging on a necklace between her breasts. It's a great motivator. It's effective behavior modification without needing to raise a hand. And she can use it from 50 miles away. To put all of the focus of the relationship where she wanted it - on her. On her pleasure. None of which works if the man WANTS to be kept locked up. Ew. Then it's about his fantasies. Then who is really in control?

Lockit -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 8:00:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steffie I'm always amazed by the number of men who look for a woman who will keep them in chastity. It strikes me as the same as the man who wants to be cuckolded. Or beaten or whatever. It seems against the entire idea of a Female-led relationship. The focus should center on her needs and desires. Not his fantasy about having his pathetic worthless penis locked up. When will submissive males ever learn that it is not about him? The first time a Mistress used a chastity device on me, it was because she decided she wanted complete control over my sex life. It is quite powerful for the woman to quite literally have your sex life hanging on a necklace between her breasts. It's a great motivator. It's effective behavior modification without needing to raise a hand. And she can use it from 50 miles away. To put all of the focus of the relationship where she wanted it - on her. On her pleasure. None of which works if the man WANTS to be kept locked up. Ew. Then it's about his fantasies. Then who is really in control? While I am not an advocate for chastity and don't often use it, I have. Basically, people are different, but those I have been near or talked to about chasity and why they had an interest in it, most answers were found in your fourth paragraph. They desired the control of a keyholder or mistress/dominant to take control of their sex life and not a pathetic, worthless penis. There are some who think that way of course, but the one's I have known didn't think of it that way. Yes, it can be all about them... but as you also said... it does get a certain amount of attention and various other things that amount to... the pleasure of the dominant in some way or another or she wouldn't be doing it. To assume that we cater to their desire could be an over assumption in many situations. To pit one submissive and submissive behavior against another is wrong, when all might be well and fine, accepted by a couple and to assume that most who are involved are not doing it right is also an area that might need some futher consideration on your part. It can be no better or worse for either gender who is locked in chastity and an individual evaluation if you will.. should be considered before an over-all assumption and opinion. There are many motivators in chastity and chastity is not always only about the desires of the one in chastity.

hardbodysub -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 8:08:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steffie I'm always amazed by the number of men who look for a woman who will keep them in chastity. It strikes me as the same as the man who wants to be cuckolded. Or beaten or whatever. It seems against the entire idea of a Female-led relationship. The focus should center on her needs and desires. Not his fantasy about having his pathetic worthless penis locked up. When will submissive males ever learn that it is not about him? The first time a Mistress used a chastity device on me, it was because she decided she wanted complete control over my sex life. It is quite powerful for the woman to quite literally have your sex life hanging on a necklace between her breasts. It's a great motivator. It's effective behavior modification without needing to raise a hand. And she can use it from 50 miles away. To put all of the focus of the relationship where she wanted it - on her. On her pleasure. None of which works if the man WANTS to be kept locked up. Ew. Then it's about his fantasies. Then who is really in control? I disagree completely. Many of the guys who desire being locked in a chastity device do so because of exactly what you stated made it work for your mistress. Because it gives the domina complete control over his sex life. It gives her power, it's a great motivator, it's effective behavior modification, it makes it all about her desires and needs, and it gives him a constant reminder that she has control. All of that. To say that it's just about his fantasies, and not about her control and desires, is just dead wrong. One could just as easily say that, if you WANT to serve your domina, and make it all about her desires, well that's really just about your fantasies, not about her. Silly, circular thinking, IMO.

steffie -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 9:45:24 PM)
Nothing like having one's words completely misconstrued...

Lockit -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 9:56:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steffie I'm always amazed by the number of men who look for a woman who will keep them in chastity. It strikes me as the same as the man who wants to be cuckolded. Or beaten or whatever. It seems against the entire idea of a Female-led relationship. The focus should center on her needs and desires. Not his fantasy about having his pathetic worthless penis locked up. When will submissive males ever learn that it is not about him? The first time a Mistress used a chastity device on me, it was because she decided she wanted complete control over my sex life. It is quite powerful for the woman to quite literally have your sex life hanging on a necklace between her breasts. It's a great motivator. It's effective behavior modification without needing to raise a hand. And she can use it from 50 miles away. To put all of the focus of the relationship where she wanted it - on her. On her pleasure. None of which works if the man WANTS to be kept locked up. Ew. Then it's about his fantasies. Then who is really in control? Your last post being upset that your words were misconstrued, prompts me to ask how some of the things you said can be misconstued??? The things I highlighted in red sound very much like judgment. The things in blue... seem like anger or distaste for men.. which is my assumption maybe, but I have a valid point in questioning your attitude. How are we misunderstanding you and misconstruing anything? Your posts have been judgmental, insulting towards men and the women who put them in chastity whoever wishes it and implies that we cater to the desires of worthless men who wish to have what you had in your forth paragraph with your mistress. What the hell is the difference? Ahh.. that pathetic, worthless male submissive with a penis who controls his dominant... Gottcha... How else can you explain your words?

hardbodysub -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/2/2009 10:08:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steffie Nothing like having one's words completely misconstrued... I think what has been misconstrued is the concept of chastity devices, and why they appeal to so many men, not your words.

azjojoba -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/3/2009 12:36:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou Azjojoba, you don't strike me as the type to be interested in that culture, so why are you hanging around the Ask A Mistress area? Perhaps you are not looking for someone to own you, but rather the more vanilla mistress who will just give you the sex your wife is denying you??? I don't think the entire BDSM or dom/sub culture revolves around chastity devices. If it works for you and your sub that's OK by me though. If I saw a lady like you dressed the way you do I would be seriously worried about injury if I was wearing a chastity device. [&:] If my wife knew about chastity devices she would probably put me in one. Thanks goodness she isn't into that stuff!

beeble -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/3/2009 7:27:18 AM)
quote: steffie wrote: Nothing like having one's words completely misconstrued... Well, everybody who's responded seems to have misconstrued you, which I can only take to mean that you didn't express yourself very clearly in the first place. Your post (`I'm always amazed...') seems to only have one meaning to me. Well, one and a half, since the phrase `pathetic worthless penis' could be either your view of the penis or could be you saying that men who want to be kept in chastity view their penises as pathetic and worthless. But that doesn't seem to be hugely significant to the meaning of your post. Could you explain what you actually meant? beeble.

MsMillgrove -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/3/2009 12:32:04 PM)
I've enjoyed this discussion because it reflects the various viewpoints that I've observed in the local scene. Was lucky to see an intense, detailed presentation by a femdom who keeps her hubby subby in a chastity device. He showed us how he'd modified the CB3000 and used it with the Curve. Told us many things about how to clean, how to travel. Once you can see someone who does longtime (for years.. being released a couple times a week for play by the wife)...chastity, it's easier to understand why a couple would be happy with this arrangement. She also helped him modify his scrotum.. to fit better into the devices. Showed us how to do various CBT. When you try to do these things at home alone with no one there who knows how to fit the devices or use the tools.. who can show you... it's hard to do it correctly. I use mental chastity as an online femdom. On the right person it's super. It doesn't work too well on those who touch themselves frequently or who are used to masturbating 3 times a day. Only because they tend to have accidents and feel bad over it. Takes more time to ease these boys into denial or chastity. For some it bonds them tightly to the domme, makes them feel safe and cherished. Others find it irritating and frustrating and can't move past that. I haven't used a device real time yet, but it seems like so many bdsm toys and tools--has to be matched to the top-bottom. In the right combo of matching needs or interests, it's "right" for those involved. When you sit in front of keyboard with no actual experience with a tool/toy.. it's sometimes hard to understand why someone else likes it. Even when they explain, without seeing it in action, touching or trying, you don't "get it". I know there's so many things that didn't sound good to me, that i discover I really liked once I tried them.

hereyesruponyou -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/3/2009 3:12:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba Bringing men to a fantasy is just fine, but that's different than long term. I don't think many men want true chastity because it's just against the rules of nature. Can you explain exactly which "laws of nature" this is against? And who wrote these laws may i ask? quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba I don't think the entire BDSM or dom/sub culture revolves around chastity devices. If it works for you and your sub that's OK by me though. If I saw a lady like you dressed the way you do I would be seriously worried about injury if I was wearing a chastity device. I was speaking specifically of the Femdom culture rather than the broad spectrum of BDSM. To say any one activity or interest is what BDSM or D/s is about would be silly. My point in what i was saying was that chastity like other aspects of bdsm is about CONTROL. It is just one way to explore that. The fact that because of the device he wears, my pet must consider this amny times everyday including as it affects what he wears, and when and where he may urinate for example. It is a way to remind him of who makes the decisions about even the simplest of bodily functions. D/s is not for everyone. My mate does not understand the appeal at all, which is why he is supportive of my interaction with my pet. Trust me, I am getting every bit as much out of this as my little does. Not sure if that last line was meant as a compliment, but i am going to take it that way :) If you ever want me to coach your wife on ways to explore control, let me know

steffie -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/4/2009 7:35:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beeble Could you explain what you actually meant? My post was judgmental in one regard only: against "submissive" males who top from the bottom. They're not submissive at all. They're players trying to get their kinks filled. And i find them annoying because i've received thousands of emails from men like that over the years. My point was quite simply that if a man is truly submissive he follows what his Woman wants. He focuses on her, not his kinks. He should be devoting himself to her kinks. That's all i was saying. How that suddenly became read as a put-down on Dominant women is beyond me. I have nothing but respect for them. Placing a male into chastity should be her idea, not his. It should be for her pleasure, not his. Otherwise, he is leading the relationship, not her. She's merely playing at being a Dominant, while he is actually pulling the strings. Guess I'm just a strong believer in Female-led relationships being led by the Female.

Lockit -> RE: Chastity Devices (2/4/2009 7:47:00 PM)
LOL... so a submissive, male or female, should have no desire but the desire of their domiant? I find that absolutly unrealistic. You got something out of being in chastity upon orders of your mistress... you liked it or saw benefit in it. Well, a man can feel the same and I don't see one damn thing wrong with it. There are men who push... but to say that because some or most are focused on themselves... is a stretch even with someone like me who see's a lot of wankers... or men who want to be in chastity simply because of my nick. Who is telling you that those of us that have used chastity on our man... that we didn't direct it? You're determination on female led relationships is your opinion... to say dominants are directed by worthless pathetic topping submissive's could be true in some cases to some degree... but not all and not your place to judge unless you are in the relationship.

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