RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, and BDSM?

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RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 4:00:53 AM

nafakcha

Posts: 81
Joined: 12/28/2008
From: Melbourne, FL
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My personality in everyday professional life is the opposite of my private life. I've always had both sides within me as far back as I can remember. BDSM was always an interest and being a child in the budding computer age I had unparalleled access to resources to figure out my specific desires. For some reason - although I'm not sure why - I always knew what BDSM was but did research on the specifics. (My parents were great upstanding parents but I had a lot of time on my hands to sit and think about myself due to health problems. I also had a lot of time to kill, unable to do anything else so reading and the blossoming internet were great companions for all sorts of topics that helped me discover who I am.)

I also have never understood the importance some events and actions were given. For example, I never thought monogamy was essential, in fact there area lot of parts I don't understand personally but rationally understand why people could want that. I've always felt - even if I didn't know the name - that I was poly.

While I was molested as a very small child. I don't think it was a major factor in my development. (Beyond the fact that we are who we are in large part due to the sum of our experiences.)

Keiko

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Post #: 21

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 4:23:52 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I've always been bossy and found enjoyment in hurting others, especially the mental pain. When I was little, the only reason I enjoyed dolls, was because I imagined they were real and I was controlling their world. Rather like their supreme goddess on high (hey, I was a kid okay) Barbies and my Jane West doll (Johnny was just around to do her heavy work) Jane did unspeakabe things to Barbie and company at my bidding.

Now, I just play with real people instead of plastic ones.

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Post #: 22

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 7:47:44 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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I grew up this way. I wish I didn't.

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Post #: 23

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 7:50:07 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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Instead of being accused and arrested for assault - I'm thanked by my 'victims'.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 24

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 8:00:16 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChristyCougar

quote:

ORIGINAL: GimpinDenial
The shiny badge I got when I signed up.....

I feel so neglected . . . I never got a badge, only bruises.

Ahh though the bruises are yummy badges in themselves! As they fade, the fun is acquiring more.....LOL

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Post #: 25

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 8:38:31 AM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
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Well, for me, I spend more time wondering why people AREN'T into BDSM. I mean, I certainly understand those who don't want to live in some kind of full-time D/s situation. But not to spice up their love lives with at least a little kinky stuff now and then? That, I just don't get. It seems the obvious thing to want to do.

But then I don't understand why all men don't want to be women, either.....

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 26

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 8:41:31 AM

YoursMistress

Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

But then I don't understand why all men don't want to be women, either.....

Ok maybe, but only for one day

yours

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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 27

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 9:42:05 AM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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I suppose it comes from a lot of directions- at my age, I've seen a lot of social change: in the late Sixties and Seventies, the sexual revolution was in full swing, experimentation the norm. Thirty years later, the AIDS epidemic, women entering the labor market, conservative backlash, the increasingly ubiquitous media, and attempts to control it have all taken their toll on the sort to openness that prevailed in the Seventies, and attitudes towards sexuality have become a minefield in many ways, swinging first one way, then the other.

Personally, I had fantasies from a very early age that were out of "the norm" even in those sexually permissive times, and I've always been struck by the extreme attitudes towards sex in this culture, ranging from exuberant absence of inhibition to erotophobia bordering on social paralysis.

Anyway, to "fit in" I went the whole Vanilla route, which really only succeeded in making me feel more alienated and trapped.

Part of the problem being that I really had no idea that there actually was a community of people who felt the same - so while I'm not really a joiner, in the sense of sublimating my needs to a group, I cannot see the existence of others with whom I can share my thought and desires with who aren't going to go out their way to misunderstand them, as anything but a good thing - we all need some sort of social acceptance, we are a social species.

BDSM is a subculture where I can be myself, where others share my obsessions, even if finding the one that shares my particular obsessions is not always easy - it's all good however, and what is important to me is the willingness to explore, to stop pretending and just experience; you just don't find that very often in the Vanilla matrix.

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 28

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 10:52:21 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
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I just like being tied up and smacked around by a sexy, squishy, gothic vampchick!

Seriously, though, I had a relationship with a vanilla girl with no D/s and while I loved the girl, I always wanted a girl who not only liked my submissive side, but encouraged it. I longed to submit to a strong, loving and caring woman. It was what made me feel "complete". I've been submissive at heart as far back as I can remember, so it was only natural for me to gravitate to a strong, dominant woman.

Now, I have the best of both worlds...the love of my life who I'd die for and the domme of my dreams who I happily suffer for.

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(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 29

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 11:34:52 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Enough friends and exes suggesting: "Maybe you should actually seek out partners that are specifically looking to be on the collared side of D/s dynamics."

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(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 30

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 12:32:25 PM

NCNutCase

Posts: 129
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

When I was 25 I met a chick… the first time we had sex she very passionately/aggressively told me she liked to be tied up, spanked and slapped around…

I tied her to the bedposts with random/various items from my room… had rough sex with her… and got sick of her calling me a pussy for not slapping her so I finally did… and damn was it hot…

That ‘relationship’ didn’t last too long but I knew I wanted the rough/kinky part more… I then began breaching the topic with other girls I dated and quickly found out that a whole lot of girls had such fantasies and were willing to act them out to one degree or another.

After a few more experiences I searched the internet trying to understand the psychology behind such things and learned what BDSM is. I quickly learned of both online "communities" as well as local groups… and I got involved with both… and I lived happily kinky ever since…

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 31

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 7:31:29 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

i forgot to earn my scout bange on this one for my eagle scout

(in reply to NCNutCase)

Post #: 32

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 8:32:56 PM

auburnvixen

Posts: 92
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

I've been into this since I was little when I played rough with the neighbor kid down the street. I was always volunteering to lose at Cowboys and Indians so I could be lassoed and put in the stockade - lol. My first husband and I played some mild games, but I never got to explore to the extent I wanted until I found both a very kinky man and the wonders of BDSM via the Internet, where I could safely lurk and learn and weed out the psychos.

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 33

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/17/2009 9:04:05 PM

submittous

Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline

Living bdsm as a way of life seems to be the only wayy we can be congruent with who we are... it is just our nature. We think the readings, meditations and introspection we practice in our secular buddhist studies has reinforced our choices but we both have felt this need as far back as we can remember... and that's a lot of years :)

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Post #: 34

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/18/2009 2:12:50 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Can't help ya there. Been D/s since I was a tiny little girl.

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(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 35

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/18/2009 3:57:21 AM

rednicky

Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline

I think I get the message.

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Post #: 36

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/18/2009 4:00:16 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Its a bit like why do I like motown, i just kinda do. See and I thought I would be able to write loads, and I probably can but all of it will be psychobable. Is it because I have low self esteem? Is it because I cant do subtle? I really have no clue. Sorry i wish I could be more helpful.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 1/18/2009 4:01:26 AM >

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Post #: 37

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/18/2009 4:08:33 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Have you got half an hour lol?
1 I like tieing my partner up. Bondage.
2 I like to be able to discipline him if he gets something wrong when he should have known better Discipline.
3 I enjoy the incredible variety of S/m. I'm more sadist than masochist.
4 I have to be in control of my partner due to early sexual trauma.
5 I'm more experienced in life than most people. Ma'am knows best.
Who should you go to first of all for help when you need it? Your life/sexual partner.
6 Men should be far more curteous towards women they are losing respect if they ever really had any.
7 I was part of the sexual revolution in the sixties. I'm not going back to the old ways.
8 I'm used to being the bread winner. I like it. Except it's taking me a while to get back the ability after getting the sack for my profile on here.
9 I like the honesty of BDSM or at least what it should be.
10 I am extremely trust worthy in a world where a lot of people can't be trusted.
That will do for a start.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 38

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/18/2009 6:56:04 AM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
Well, for me, I spend more time wondering why people AREN'T into BDSM. I mean, I certainly understand those who don't want to live in some kind of full-time D/s situation. But not to spice up their love lives with at least a little kinky stuff now and then? That, I just don't get. It seems the obvious thing to want to do.

What makes you think that they're not? There are loads of vanilla couples out there engaging in all kinds of kinky activities. Heck, the women's magazines by the cash register at the grocery store have articles about spicing up your sex life. I don't think that you'd find many folks out there who haven't tried a little bondage, spanking, hair-pulling, role-play or some kind of kinky stuff. Most adult stores out there cater to these folks.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 39

RE: What's your reason for being into D/s, M/s, D/D, an... - 1/18/2009 6:59:59 AM

StrangerThan

Posts: 1515
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline

I'm breathing.

(in reply to rednicky)

Post #: 40

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