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RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/19/2009 8:37:28 AM

MasterTslave

Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
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I know Master T was. He really thought that I would not want to be with him or something. He had been married a few times before and his ex wives were not real keen on the idea of being tied up and fucked. He really took it slow at first and questioned me a TON about it and kept telling me that all i had to do was to tell him I didn't want to do this anymore. I think he understands that I am just as twisted as he is and we get along with it.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 21

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/22/2009 5:33:40 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
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Steel where did you pilfer that reply from?

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RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/22/2009 6:01:26 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

C gets nervous every once in a while when trying something new. It just stems from not wanting to hurt me... too much. ;) I think it's sweet, it shows he cares... although sometimes I wish he was still nervous about staples.

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Post #: 23

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/22/2009 7:12:28 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
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From: St George Utah
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Steel where did you pilfer that reply from?

It's an 80/20 reply.

80 Percent ME and 20 percent concepts from the Movie "100 girls" a movie that I think ANY AND EVERY Guy shoud watch the nudity keeps the Cromagnum crowd Happy and the Wit and concept gave me quotes for a century at least.

Why do you Ask?

Steel

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Post #: 24

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/22/2009 12:25:16 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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I can't speak for doms or men, only for me. Issue # 1, in my book, is VD. I have been known to drag a new sub/slave into my doctor's office to get tested. It has become a source of great hilarity among his nurses, from the second time it happened, and they understood what that was about.

(in reply to chicagoswitch)

Post #: 25

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/23/2009 10:20:01 AM

wisdom58

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/24/2008
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Many very honest responses here. Makes me proud to be part of the "I'm man/woman enough to admit to being human" fraternity.
Me, I say a silent prayer beforehand, asking that I am able to access what I know is already inside of me, primarily my intuition and creativity. Once things start, I let go and listen to that inner voice that has replaced all anxiety. This is the same process that I have used for years regarding work-related public speaking.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 26

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/23/2009 7:25:57 PM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
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Performance anxiety on more than one level

(in reply to chicagoswitch)

Post #: 27

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/24/2009 12:21:12 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chicagoswitch

I was just curious. Do Doms get nervous when they are with a new (and less experienced) submissive partner?

Only the first time....when we meet.
I met people through here...and although you phone and such...it is still not "real" till then.
Then I am a little nervous. Hoping I will be for her who she thinks I am..and the other way around.

(in reply to chicagoswitch)

Post #: 28

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/24/2009 12:48:12 AM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Not sure about others, but yes, I do at times, but I try not to show it. My being nervous does not help her in overcoming her nervousness, and I seem to cause that in most.

(in reply to chicagoswitch)

Post #: 29

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/25/2009 12:00:00 PM

sailorfrank

Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline

    Nerves everyone has them and even tho a Dom may be good at covering it up it still may be apperent to the other.

Nerves are caused by many what ifs?   Food on my teeth, something hanging from my nose?,   am I stammering?(hate that) and then trying to read the possible sub/slave face, their expressions, the look in their eyes and communication!

Are they in the life style or pretending?   But doubts go away the first day of training as you both learn trust together. Then after that its all fun....well most of it for the Master!

(in reply to SirDarkside357)

Post #: 30

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/26/2009 3:57:42 PM

SensibleSam

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/17/2007
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Yes of course but not the way you mean.

I used to be a driving school teacher. When I met a new student I was very nervous if they already knew how to drive. If they knew nothing or had failed to learn before, I could relax.

Similarly women who are inexperienced in BDSM are easy. They are overcome with emotion when you tie them up (or down). The first time they feel a cane on their ass they aren't thinking of much else.

But some very experienced subs can be off putting. If you don't beat them hard enough they might be disappointed. Calibrating intensity can be tricky. It's easy to be fooled. Some newbies hardly react to the cane of single tail while others with decades of experience have very tender bottoms which can barely tolerate an open hand. It takes a little time to get it right.

No Dom wants to hear his subbie tell him how her last Dom really knew how to beat her.

(in reply to sailorfrank)

Post #: 31

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/28/2009 5:54:41 AM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
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My husband is an introvert, to the core, through and through, so yes, he does get nervous before playdates with new people. As Lynxx said, I think it's sweet and cute - it shows that he cares, that he doesn't want to make a bad impression.

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(in reply to SensibleSam)

Post #: 32

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/28/2009 12:30:18 PM

JustStephen

Posts: 61
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

errrr nervous... no. Not as a Dom. I am most at ease with my self when Dominant.

I was nervous on Saturday night but thats an entirely different story!

(in reply to T1981)

Post #: 33

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/28/2009 1:33:27 PM

JustStephen

Posts: 61
Joined: 4/15/2008
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duplicated

< Message edited by JustStephen -- 1/28/2009 1:36:37 PM >

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Post #: 34

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/28/2009 1:38:26 PM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustStephen

errrr nervous... no. Not as a Dom. I am most at ease with my self when Dominant.

I was nervous on Saturday night but thats an entirely different story!

errr I get nervous when your being dominant though!

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(in reply to JustStephen)

Post #: 35

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/28/2009 3:28:01 PM

emdoub

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chicagoswitch

I was just curious. Do Doms get nervous when they are with a new (and less experienced) submissive partner?

Only the intelligent ones. Reasons include:

The sub who surprises herself by going into a panic attack over what she'd thought was gonna be fun.
The sub who surprises the dom and themselves when their spouse walks in, remarkably angry.
The "vastly experienced" sub who decides that they're going to call the cops because this isn't what their fantasies had been like, and it must be the dom's fault.
The sub who loves this, falls instantly in love with the dom, and turns into a combination of stalker and black hole for attention.
The sub the dom gets remarkably fond of who vanishes without ever saying why.
The sub who turns into a drama queen, enjoying the spectacle of 'poor little subbie' by spreading horrid lies about the dom.

I've seen them all up close, and some of them have even happened to me. Doms (and subs) who aren't a tad apprehensive about the first time just need a bit more experience.

Midnight Writer

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(in reply to chicagoswitch)

Post #: 36

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/29/2009 1:54:23 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: emdoub

quote:

ORIGINAL: chicagoswitch

I was just curious. Do Doms get nervous when they are with a new (and less experienced) submissive partner?

Only the intelligent ones. Reasons include:

The sub who surprises herself by going into a panic attack over what she'd thought was gonna be fun.
The sub who surprises the dom and themselves when their spouse walks in, remarkably angry.
The "vastly experienced" sub who decides that they're going to call the cops because this isn't what their fantasies had been like, and it must be the dom's fault.
The sub who loves this, falls instantly in love with the dom, and turns into a combination of stalker and black hole for attention.
The sub the dom gets remarkably fond of who vanishes without ever saying why.
The sub who turns into a drama queen, enjoying the spectacle of 'poor little subbie' by spreading horrid lies about the dom.

I've seen them all up close, and some of them have even happened to me. Doms (and subs) who aren't a tad apprehensive about the first time just need a bit more experience.

Midnight Writer

I agree with your post but then this only applies to people not in a loving relationship.
I think when you are getting to know someone you are bound to feel a little unsettled with certain things because you have not yet seen a reaction and so you don't know what the outcome is going to be. Once you have tried these things and understand the positive results with no aftermath, you can settle down without fear, nerves and doubt and just enjoy.

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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to emdoub)

Post #: 37

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/29/2009 2:39:44 AM

LarabysLair

Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline

Nahhh!

I'm only nervous in a party of vanillas and at family gatherings like graduations, reunions, etc. With a submissive I'm in my element.

Call me LL

(in reply to chicagoswitch)

Post #: 38

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/29/2009 5:14:18 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I only become nervous in two situations - when work/social avenues have brought me into contact with people who have been drinking alcohol, I guess that's because people who are under the influence are not in full control over their actions and therefore unpredictable, and the other situation is when I engage a submissive that's considerably far more experienced than myself in areas such as bondage, for instance, for I know they are critiquing me. Constructive criticisms I can take and do accept, I want to continue learning as much as they would like to keep teaching me, it's the cocky ones that like to issue challenges... Usually a good gag and binding their forearms to their biceps and calves to the backs of their thighs so that they're forced to walk like a doggy on their elbows and knees cures that cockiness.

I enjoy meeting new people, learning about them, exchanging ideas and hopefully forging a new friendship. People that meet me are struck at how relaxed they feel within a few minutes and that can lead to some funny situations especially when people feel the need to tell me their life story, including those innermost secrets they haven't shared with anyone else and until that moment, I was a complete stranger to them but somehow they feel secure in leaving those secrets with me.

I would like to experience an initial nervousness as I sometimes think I am perhaps missing out on something rather special in its absence.

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Post #: 39

RE: Do Doms get nervous? - 1/30/2009 4:41:51 AM

DutchBastard

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/29/2009
Status: offline

i was nerveus to , especially when i met my sub first time . i could not look at her face she was not so pretty that made me more nerveus . i told her god you make me nerveus
she asked me why ? . so i had to tell her cos your one ugly shit . and ones i said that it went all better . now i am kind of used to it and she feels very comfortable with me

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 40

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