Psychological Question (Full Version)

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popeye1250 -> Psychological Question (1/18/2009 5:43:57 PM)

I know a woman who's gone from man to man and her specialty is having another woman's man sexually.
And this has been going on for years and years.
It's like she wants what "she can't have" or shouldn't have or whatever.
Why does she do that? It's ruined friendships, broken up people and couples.
And she's screwed over a lot of men both financially and psychologically.
And she just continues to do it.
What is the psychology or maybe I should say, pathology behind this kind of destructive behaviour?
Is it caused by childhood abuse? Is she trying to, "marry her father?"
And just how messed up psychologically is she?
Is she a "prisoner" to this type of behaviour?
Can it be curtailed or "cured" or is she at 47 destined to keep making the same bad choices?
It doesn't seem to bother her so there could be some type of sociopathy involved.
We must have some mental health people in here who could give me an idea of what is going on in her brain.
And no, I've not been involved with her.




aravain -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 5:46:51 PM)

If it doesn't bother her there's nothing (technically) wrong with her. She may be sociopathic, but if it causes no problems for her, then it doesn't matter, really.

Morally/ethically there's a bit of a conundrum there, of course. But there is with virtually everything.




popeye1250 -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:14:12 PM)

Yes, that's true but it "bothers" a lot of "other people."
Her former best friend calls her, "an evil temptress" after she went after (her) husband.




kittinSol -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:18:19 PM)

So, what was the husband called?




TheHeretic -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:32:30 PM)

      I knew a young woman of this mentality when I first left the service, Popeye.  I don't know what name the clinicians would give it, but it was a psychological problem.  The only men she was interested in were with other women. She broke things wherever she went.  A very disturbed chick, and a horrible person.

   




Aneirin -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:34:37 PM)

An understanding is, many try for 'taken' commodities as a test of their ability to seduce, perhaps even a confirmation, why, I have no idea, perhaps she is a woman that wants the best out of life, but gets bored quickly, an adventurer perhaps. Often it is with males, that once the band of ownership is upon the finger, they can stop trying, as they have got what they wanted, they have achieved their goal, some believe their ego as to that is what a partner wants.

If you know her history, then you are best advised to stay clear, anyone that does go near knowing the history, is a fool, and set themselves up for the inevitable fall.




windchymes -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:39:18 PM)

Great point, kittin [:)]

Some speculations from my brain, since I love psychoanalysis so much.....

-she's insecure and feels like a better person when she can "win" over the forbidden fruit
-she has a married/attached guy fetish
-she's addicted to the thrill of the chase & conquer
-she is angry at a female or multiple females from her childhood or teen years, i.e., abusive mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, teacher, "mean girls" on the playground or in high school, someone "took" her first love away, maybe even was sexually abused or raped by one or more of the above and she's mentally getting revenge by proxy

I'd say she's just a sex addict, but you specified that it's the men of other women who are her main targets, and a sex addict would take any man, I guess....then again, I'm no expert.




kittinSol -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:45:37 PM)

Hi windchymes :-) . I have a feeling there's more to the story than popeye is letting on... right, pop? 




corysub -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:45:40 PM)

 
I have no idea what drives a person like her but it could be that she has such a low self-esteem that she has to collect other womens husbands like notches on  gun to prove that she has worth...to herself.  I don't think this is an issue found only with women.  Hey, maybe, unlike most women, she does not want a commitment and NSA sex with a married guy satisfies her sexual needs withhout having to worry about "where do we go from here:" ?   shrugs...




windchymes -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:50:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Hi windchymes :-) . I have a feeling there's more to the story than popeye is letting on... right, pop? 


Hey girl ;) 

Well, last I heard, our Popeye's single, so he's out of danger.......or is that what's getting to him?  [&:]




kittinSol -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:55:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes
Well, last I heard, our Popeye's single, so he's out of danger.......or is that what's getting to him?  [&:]


I think you could have nailed it... pop, on the other hand, sounds like he hasn't [sm=evil.gif] .




windchymes -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:57:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes
Well, last I heard, our Popeye's single, so he's out of danger.......or is that what's getting to him?  [&:]


I think you could have nailed it... pop, on the other hand, sounds like he hasn't [sm=evil.gif] .



heh heh heh [:D]

We could pretend that we're his girlfriends....then she'd be busting through his door.....




aravain -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 6:58:19 PM)

yes, well... it's only really a psychological problem if it bothers HER. [:D] Otherwise she's just a bitch (unless she's 'criminally insane' and homicidal or prone to assault)




popeye1250 -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:17:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Hi windchymes :-) . I have a feeling there's more to the story than popeye is letting on... right, pop? 


No, that's it and I haven't seen her in years!
I was just wondering what makes a woman act like that psychologically.
Oh, and no the husband was to blame just as well but I'm not trying to lay any "blame" here just to try to understand the pathology.
I was very surprised to hear all of this tonight after talking to a friend on the phone for over an hour.
I just figure that her brain is somehow "sick."
That's certainly not "normal" behavior.




Vendaval -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:18:31 PM)

Hey Popeye,
 
I have known a few train-wreck women like you are describing and there is usually significant trauma, physical, sexual, mental/emotional in their younger years combined with family members who were in active addiction.  Do stay clear of her.  Until she is forced or stumbles into major therapy and gains some stability and rationality she is a danger to any caught in her path.
 
My best guess based on the information available is -

"Narcissistic Personality Disorder"

"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
 
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

Requires excessive admiration.

Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.

Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.

Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes."

 
http://www.psychnet-uk.com/clinical_psychology/criteria_personality_narcissistic.htm




popeye1250 -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:28:47 PM)

Ven, that's better, now we're getting somewhere!
Funny thing though, she varies from that model in that she is a self made woman and extremely successful in her field and no-one would ever guess what she does.
Even if I told you you wouldn't believe me.
And she makes big money.

P.S. Ven, I'll tell you on the other side what she does for a living.
You'll shit!




Vendaval -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:39:14 PM)

Ah...mental illness knows no bounds within a society.  Is she a marriage counselor?




MzMia -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:39:55 PM)

You need to tell me also.[8|]

You have many men and women that spend their entire lives creating drama and chaos.
Some people will go out of their way, to engage in self defeating behaviors.
Do you ever watch the talk shows like Dr.Phil, Oprah, etc?

Self defeating behaviors are much more common that most people want to admit.




kittinSol -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:41:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
Ah...mental illness knows no bounds within a society.  Is she a marriage counselor?


A television evangelist?




Vendaval -> RE: Psychological Question (1/18/2009 7:43:01 PM)

Popeye has gone and done it, now we are all curious as to her profession.  lol
I don't think it will be as obvious as stripper, call girl or escort.




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