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You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:07:49 PM   
precioussubmisve


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/17/2009
Status: offline 		So I have pretty much figured out that I'm stupid, I keep falling for the excuses. Its entirely my fault, I have got to be so quit being so trusting and giving so many 2nd chances. I have talked to a few people, and everything goes well, we talked for awhile then one day they disappear and I never hear from them again. Well then suddenly one day out of the clear blue sky, they pop back up and say oh I'm so sorry, such and such happened.....and I fall for it , let myself accept the fact that life has gotten in the way because after all we cant live on the interenet 24/7. I figure hey well, I could give them the benefit of the doubt, and do so , we have another wonderdful conversation and its oh ok, I will talk to you again soon and guess what? I end up wating and wondering again how long it will be before they talk to me again if they ever do lol. I dont what it is about me that attracts the "fakes", maybe I have you can dupe me easily stamped on my forehead. Anyway, I'm just venting alittle.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:15:56 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		It's happened to the best of us. I'm ashamed to admit one instance where I gave a 2nd chance way too many times because the reason he disappeared was always SO convincing and he always came back so charmingly. And I knew this one in real life, not purely online.

Soon, you'll learn that a 2nd chance is just that: a SECOND chance. Not a 3rd, 5th, 11th, 20th. Tell people from the start that dropping off the face of the planet is a hard limit and if they do it to you, that's it, no further potential.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:21:38 PM   
precioussubmisve


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

It's happened to the best of us. I'm ashamed to admit one instance where I gave a 2nd chance way too many times because the reason he disappeared was always SO convincing and he always came back so charmingly. And I knew this one in real life, not purely online.

Soon, you'll learn that a 2nd chance is just that: a SECOND chance. Not a 3rd, 5th, 11th, 20th. Tell people from the start that dropping off the face of the planet is a hard limit and if they do it to you, that's it, no further potential.
 
That is a good idea, I never honestly thought of putting it that way.



That is a good idea,

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:33:05 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		I have been there too! I think most of us have. Damn it's brutal...

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:39:18 PM   
precioussubmisve


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

I have been there too! I think most of us have. Damn it's brutal...


yes alot of us have, lol I dont mean to complain, I realize it my fault for falling, it does hurt.

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:42:06 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I don't see a crime in giving someone a second chance. If it's only on line chatting I fail to see how you're really losing all that much. Some will be fakes and some will be legit, I don't mind having to chat a little bit more to find out. I don't sign on line JUST to chat so they're not wasting my time since I'm multi-tasking. I was talking with someone on CM via mails and they poofed. I wondered why, after a while they messaged again saying sorry but life got busy. It happens, I said no big deal. We talked more and ended up meeting and having a nice time.

Also, as someone who personally had their computer down for two-three weeks without being able to tell many people I can imagine some might have thought I dropped off the face of the Earth. But I came back! Am not a fake!

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:42:45 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		You're not stupid.

Things happen. People happen. It's not your fault.

Roll with it, be trusting but cautious until you know someone well.

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:42:49 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Dang, that sucks. But it's obvious that you've figured out the problem. This has nothing to do with the lifestyle, so I can totally give my 2 cents.

Why do you give men, especially Dominant men who are supposed to set the example, the benefit of the doubt in the first place? How long does it take to send a text? 30 seconds? No, how long does it take to shoot an email or leave a message on someone's phone? Almost no time. He had no excuse. No, he had excuses but they weren't worth the time listening to. So, like you said, you've been a liiiitle naive. Are you willing to change though?

Sorry THIS is a pet peeve of mine. Naive women who do stuff like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand when women make silly mistakes with men. The more women act this way, the more men have these misconceptions that women are so 'ignorant' and that all a man has to do is talk his way out of whatever he's done wrong. Sorry, but I want a man to take me seriously and not think I'm so stupid that any old excuse along with some pretty words will win me back. Ladies, if we make men work harder, men will TRY harder. But if we humor men who do the very least they have to do in order to get on your good side then they simply won't make the effort. I'm sick of good men being so rare. If we made sloppy men try harder, then we could turn them into good men. And that is essential especially in a lifestyle where many women are submissive in the first place.

Have you ladies heard of the law where men are held responsible if they have sex with in intoxicated woman who consents while drunk but regrets it once she wakes up? How crazy is that? The law is basically saying that women who take even one sip of alcohol are too stupid and naive to make decisions or be held accountable for their actions. So it's up to the MEN (who could be every bit as drunk as the women) to be responsible and make the right judgments. So if a drunk man has sex with a shitfaced woman who is crying out "Yes yes fuck me" that night, but then wakes up saying "No I didn't mean for it to happen! You raped me! I'm calling the police" then HE has to take responsibility and HE has to go to jail. Now how do you like that? Once women have a drink, our sound judgment is compared to that of a child's or the mentally handicapped and we have to depend on men to do the right thing.

Ugh, now I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity.

_____________________________

Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 7:57:49 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		This is a reason why, other than friendship, I will NOT do an on-line relationship. The few times I made exceptions ... I got zapped. Once she disappeared and her husband said I had to leave her alone (I did not know she was married). Second time, she was in another country. Third time, we were getting ready to meet, she ran off with another man. So, if its intimate, they have to be within an hour or less.

It's too hard if you are lonely to weave a spell of romance and intimacy.

Chat with friends, cool. I even give good friends my phone number. Doing the whole relationship on-line? No way in hell.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 8:09:55 PM   
precioussubmisve


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Dang, that sucks. But it's obvious that you've figured out the problem. This has nothing to do with the lifestyle, so I can totally give my 2 cents.

Why do you give men, especially Dominant men who are supposed to set the example, the benefit of the doubt in the first place? How long does it take to send a text? 30 seconds? No, how long does it take to shoot an email or leave a message on someone's phone? Almost no time. He had no excuse. No, he had excuses but they weren't worth the time listening to. So, like you said, you've been a liiiitle naive. Are you willing to change though?

Sorry THIS is a pet peeve of mine. Naive women who do stuff like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand when women make silly mistakes with men. The more women act this way, the more men have these misconceptions that women are so 'ignorant' and that all a man has to do is talk his way out of whatever he's done wrong. Sorry, but I want a man to take me seriously and not think I'm so stupid that any old excuse along with some pretty words will win me back. Ladies, if we make men work harder, men will TRY harder. But if we humor men who do the very least they have to do in order to get on your good side then they simply won't make the effort. I'm sick of good men being so rare. If we made sloppy men try harder, then we could turn them into good men. And that is essential especially in a lifestyle where many women are submissive in the first place.

Have you ladies heard of the law where men are held responsible if they have sex with in intoxicated woman who consents while drunk but regrets it once she wakes up? How crazy is that? The law is basically saying that women who take even one sip of alcohol are too stupid and naive to make decisions or be held accountable for their actions. So it's up to the MEN (who could be every bit as drunk as the women) to be responsible and make the right judgments. So if a drunk man has sex with a shitfaced woman who is crying out "Yes yes fuck me" that night, but then wakes up saying "No I didn't mean for it to happen! You raped me! I'm calling the police" then HE has to take responsibility and HE has to go to jail. Now how do you like that? Once women have a drink, our sound judgment is compared to that of a child's or the mentally handicapped and we have to depend on men to do the right thing.

Ugh, now I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity.


Well I did not mean to piss you off. You are excatly right with everything you have said. I was just simply making a statement about my own stupidity was all, and saying I know most of us have been there.

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/20/2009 8:21:33 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		It happens to all of us, then we develop better radars.   This part of your profile is probably attracting more of the same ""I'm going to say this upfront if you are just looking for someone that you can dupe easily, then move on. If you are just going to randomly disappear for days , weeks, then do not bother to talk to me"""
It's going to be up to you to hone your instincts, trust them, maybe meet real time sooner, and take it from there.    I'm sorry you're discouraged by the experience, but it's going to make you a better chooser.     M


_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 7:13:18 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Think of the internet as the sea and you are a net fisherman --occasionally you will pull in a shark, if you keep getting sharks--use a different bait, a smaller  net or a more focused casting area.
 


_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 7:49:21 AM   
curiousINct


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Sorry THIS is a pet peeve of mine. Naive women who do stuff like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand when women make silly mistakes with men.


I don't think it's naive to give someone a second chance.  I'd rather get  burned every once in awhile than become that inflexible.

quote:

I'm sick of good men being so rare.


They aren't that rare. We just have to be willing to see the ones that are right in front of us. :)



< Message edited by curiousINct -- 1/21/2009 7:57:14 AM >

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 5:47:16 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Good luck in the future 

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 6:39:31 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		I believe what happens...at least sometimes.

The mind is often harsh and guilt can be very disabling. I often fight with my inner soul about the right and wrong of my actions.

When I get caught up in passion I often live for the moment and will do and say many things that later I will feel guilty for doing.

I have gone to the extreme of killing my internet connection thinking that will stop my desires. I will surely try and stay away from what prompts those desires at least for a time. It doesn’t work and often a few days or weeks later when the passion builds I’m back at it again.

So it is …passion… guilt…passion…guilt.

A lot of people of course have adjusted to their desires and then find it hard to understand someone who only has periodic desires followed by guilt.
Butch

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 6:45:33 PM   
beth314


Posts: 121
Joined: 1/7/2009
Status: offline 		Awwwhhhh....I'll be your friend:)

beth

_____________________________

life is not measured by how many breaths you take...but by how many moments take your breath away!

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 8:07:54 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		~fast reply~  i dont think its so much about you getting fooled.  i think it can also be about the other person assuming you're going to sit breathlessly waiting for them to show up in your life again.

i had that happen some 6 months after i met Daddy.  a dominant i had been talking to prior to Daddy (and it didnt work out)  cold calls me, wakes me up, and expected me to recognise his voice at 5 am?  oh noes.  then when he called back  at a reasonable hour, was all unhappy that i didnt wait for him.  um...no, i had told you on the last time we talked it wasnt working out.

some people are silly like that.  dominant, submissive, 'nilla, any of them.

kitten

(in reply to beth314)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/21/2009 11:16:48 PM   
faithfulfemme


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: precioussubmisve

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky


Ugh, now I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity.


Well I did not mean to piss you off.



....highest level of piss - tivity........hahahahah............rednicky, that is one phrase i must remember.  It describes it exactly.  May i steal that from you?
 
And precioussubmissive, you didn't cause rednicky to be pissed, she did it to herself..........  i do that all the time when i vent.  i hear what i'm saying and then get pissed off to the "highest level of piss - tivity" by what i'm saying......hahahahah.....

_____________________________

Trust is neither wishing nor hoping; it is a deep sense of honor in another.

(in reply to precioussubmisve)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/22/2009 1:11:59 AM   
grouchomarx


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/11/2008
Status: offline 		well if you say you're stupid, who am i to argue.

(in reply to faithfulfemme)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: You would think I would learn by now - 1/22/2009 1:34:51 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Why do you give men, especially Dominant men who are supposed to set the example, the benefit of the doubt in the first place?


.....sorry quick hijack.... what example are dominant men supposed to set?

Welcome to the forums prescioussubmisv.  Yep it has happened so I focus on local people now.


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to rednicky)
Profile   Post #: 20
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