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Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:05:50 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

Yesterday as I was driving to work (the Rut Job not the fun job), I heard something on the radio that almost made me run off the road.  A woman was giving an interview on a local talk show to promote her book  She mentioned that many women are intimidated by men being male.    I'm not talking about silly machismo.  I am talking about men in their natural state:  ie:  Scratching where it itches;  Yelling or groaning at the tv during a football game;  Wearing your favorite old tech school sweat shirt (you know, the sweaty one)!   How could guys being guys be scary?

I find it hard to belive that Lockit, AAkasha, Tammyjo, MsStarlett. Lady Hibiscus or Venatrix could be scared of anything male.  I admit that I am an old fashioned Timber Beast.  I realize that I need polish.  On the other hand, I am house broken (sort of); I don't bite and even if I did, I've had my shots!

Say it isn't so Mistresses! Say it isn't so!

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:15:30 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... in the context you are sharing with us... no... not one cell afriad... maybe a bit disgusted at certain moments if they repeat constantly... but not afraid! lol

There are times to be afraid of a man or anyone... when real safety is in jepordy, man welding gun or stalker types and then it is, afraid for a moment and kick in gear determined, forceful woman ready to do battle. lol  In that case it is me or you and I am going to win... I may not...lol... but I am determined to! lol

But the average male beast... no... I like them very much if they are housebroken and have some semblence of social graces.  But then... I know better to get involved with bulls who don't do well in china shops...

Besides... I have groaned through a few football games... have worn a few old things... have had itches, gracefully handled or hidden (smile) and always talk in a natural state that isn't enfluenced by a male natural state.  It's all good! lol

But the bottom line is I don't envy men being free to do those things... so am I... I just chose not to most of the time and to handle it differently.  If I want a beer drinkin, gas producing, itching blob of manhood... I could have had one... I just pick the more manly/social types.  I am free to be me and that is all I care about.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 1/23/2009 11:19:06 AM >

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:15:50 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I certainly wouldn't use the word intimidated.

Depending upon the specific word or action......

Bemused
Amused
Disgusted
Annoyed

........and whatever an occasional eye roll might convey, that words fall short of.


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:19:26 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

I might be a little worried about what's causing the itching, but other than that, no.. no fear of maleness. 

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:38:51 AM   
Coupleofwhats


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
I'm not talking about silly machismo. I am talking about men in their natural state: ie: Scratching where it itches; Yelling or groaning at the tv during a football game; Wearing your favorite old tech school sweat shirt (you know, the sweaty one)! How could guys being guys be scary?


If that's what makes a man, I must be one.


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:40:55 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Men, like women, have no "natural" state.  They behave as their society trains them to behave.  My own society encourages men to be crude, violent, insensitive, narcissistic and domineering.  How well I like any given man depends directly on how well this training "takes". 

I hate sports.  I don't particularly want a lover who can't stay clean or get his laundry to smell like anything other than ass.  And if a person needs to scratch himself in a private place, I generally prefer that he do so in private.  So...if "maleness" is about sports, lack of personal hygiene and scratching yourself like a chimp in public--then no, gotta say, not a big fan.




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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 11:55:29 AM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		Tech school sweatshirt? Groaning at a non-computerized sports game?

What in the hell are you talking about?

That's no more "male" or "manly" than watching soap operas or liking nice clothes is "female" or "womanly".

I'll admit I occasionally get the downunder itch, but everything else listed (and the other activities and attributes that can be extrapolated) is alien to me.

I have XY chromosomes and  penis. Does that count for anything?

< Message edited by aidan -- 1/23/2009 12:08:29 PM >

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 12:07:28 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
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From: The Land of Voodoo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

Tech school sweatshirt? Groaning at a non-computerized sports game?

What in the hell are you talking about?

That's no more "male" or "manly" than watching soap operas or liking nice clothes is "female" or "womanly".

I'll admit I occasionally get the downunder itch, but everything else listed (and the other activities and attributes that can be extrapolated) is alien to me.

I have a XY chromosomes and  penis. Does that count for anything?



You have a penis, therefore in the estrogen eyes, you are wrong and guilty of something!  LOL
 
They may not know what it is at that precise moment, but they will eventually...and you WILL pay dearly for it!  LMAO

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 12:22:26 PM   
aidan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

Tech school sweatshirt? Groaning at a non-computerized sports game?

What in the hell are you talking about?

That's no more "male" or "manly" than watching soap operas or liking nice clothes is "female" or "womanly".

I'll admit I occasionally get the downunder itch, but everything else listed (and the other activities and attributes that can be extrapolated) is alien to me.

I have a XY chromosomes and  penis. Does that count for anything?



You have a penis, therefore in the estrogen eyes, you are wrong and guilty of something!  LOL
 
They may not know what it is at that precise moment, but they will eventually...and you WILL pay dearly for it!  LMAO


Funny joke as this is (and it is, don't get me wrong) it does bring up an interesting point about the mentality behind it and the interview mentioned in the OP.

This concept of intergender aggression (the "battle of the sexes") is complete bullshit from my experience, and only exists in fiction or situations where humans actively perpetuate it.

Let me make clear that I do not mean the very real problems of sexism, victimization of women by men, etc. I'm talking about the sitcomesque howling along the lines of "Men are all dumb, insensitive slobs who will never remember your anniversary! Women are shrill, austere buzzkills who will emasculate you with quiche!"

The idea that men and women are naturally antagonistic in this way just doesn't ring true in my experience. Intragender aggression and tearing down seems more common place than intergender. A group of men will grind on each other in awful ways, I've seen it. Groups of men and women mixed, where there isn't a lot of macho/femine jockeying seem to have much more fun.

I kinda lost the thread of what I was thinking, so I'm gonna go take a shower and end this post.


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 12:38:42 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think in American culture we are trained to be afraid of men from a very early age and boys are trained to be scary and embrace violence to a much greater degree than girls are. Just a few years ago there was a book out that argued that rape was natural for males -- how scary is that thought? Then you see studies about how male hormones make men more violent and aggressive in effect more dangerous. (I think a lot of studies are gender biased from the start but hey they are out there). Even within BDSM you'll get some guys who will argue that men are dominant because they could beat up any woman -- how's that for the scary being promoted within out own community?

You aren't alone in feeling annoyed by this. Both Tom and Fox have told me how sad they feel when women do cross the street or pull a coat tighter around themselves or even just look at them oddly. And these are two sweet men who aren't particularly large -- ok, both are 6 foot+ but not big otherwise really.

Because of my childhood I am more wary around men -- you get sexually assaulted and raped three times by the age of six and see how much you can shake that feeling that you need to be wary. But I'm also easily annoyed by women. In general I am cautious around people I don't know but one can be cautious and still have a dominant personality.

Yes, I am that person who must always sit so she can see anyone entering or leaving an area because I am cautious.

How can this all change?

It will take generations of people raised in societies where violence isn't considered normal or natural for anyone.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/23/2009 12:41:47 PM >

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 1:13:59 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Men, like women, have no "natural" state.  They behave as their society trains them to behave.  My own society encourages men to be crude, violent, insensitive, narcissistic and domineering.  How well I like any given man depends directly on how well this training "takes". 

I hate sports.  I don't particularly want a lover who can't stay clean or get his laundry to smell like anything other than ass.  And if a person needs to scratch himself in a private place, I generally prefer that he do so in private.  So...if "maleness" is about sports, lack of personal hygiene and scratching yourself like a chimp in public--then no, gotta say, not a big fan.





Well, I disagree that in the sense that I believe that humans, of both genders, do have a "natural state", But that's an entirely different topic. On the other hand, I agree that cultural, or any kind of, conditioning should be questioned and challenged. It's kind of swimming against the steam, but very rewarding .

What I object to are generalizations that pigeon-hole people in any way. I know many men who are quite cultured and tend to hold their gas and scratching to private venues, as well as I know women who fart , scratch, curse, etc., when and where they wish. Generalizations and labels serve no one, imo.


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 1:14:27 PM   
MsFlutter


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From: East Coast
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I certainly wouldn't use the word intimidated.

Depending upon the specific word or action......

Bemused
Amused
Disgusted
Annoyed

........and whatever an occasional eye roll might convey, that words fall short of.





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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 1:16:26 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Since I didn't make the list, I probably shouldn't answer, but I'm going to anyway. 

Afraid of males being males?  Ummmm.   No.  Actually, I've taken a lot of crap for My standard saying that I want My boys to be boys.  One of the difficulties that I run into is that certain kinks of Mine are more popular with males that are, shall we say, more comfortable with expressing their feminine side.  That's not what I want.  If I have a craving for strap-on play, or m/m action, it's because I want the sub to be masculine. I want the manly sweat.  I want the male persona.  I want the male clothes.  When I engage in these activities, I want him to be all male.  Sweat, burps, male appearance and all.

Now, when it comes to strangers,sure.  I will pull My coat tighter around Me or step across the street late at night. I'm a Domme, but I don't rule the world.  I have the same liabilities as any other woman on the street,


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 3:54:50 PM   
OneMoreWaste


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Now, when it comes to strangers,sure.  I will pull My coat tighter around Me


Since that's now the second time this has come up, I'm curious- what does this accomplish?

I believe that outward displays of fear embolden aggressors (of either gender, and just about every species), and would not recommend it.

Personally, I think that a male's natural state is out in the garage working on stuff, in which case there's nothing to afraid of... until you smell smoke.


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 4:09:22 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Hello A/all,
She mentioned that many women are intimidated by men being male.    I'm not talking about silly machismo.  I am talking about men in their natural state:  ie:  Scratching where it itches;  Yelling or groaning at the tv during a football game;  Wearing your favorite old tech school sweat shirt (you know, the sweaty one)!   How could guys being guys be scary?
Say it isn't so Mistresses! Say it isn't so!
Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger
It aint so, I'll say it.
Are you sure fear is the word you were looking for Mike?   How about disgusted?    If I'm living with someone, I expect that I will occasionally see some of that behavior, but it's uncouth to meet someone looking as you've described, or scratching self in public...  
I tend to correct that behavior any time it shows up on someone I'm dating.   I don't mind a sweaty guy who just got in from working hard, but old sweat is gross, and unacceptable.    M

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 4:10:44 PM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not particularly intimidated by the slovenliness you describe, in fact I frequently indulge my own desire to scratch, curse or wear sloppy clothes, but I have never been very attracted to overly manly men, or anyone who is too far to one side or the other of the gender scale.  I don't know if its typical of women, but I find something very alluring about a boy who balances his masculinity with softness, grace and a sense of style.

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 4:38:22 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I hope this makes sense:

There was an interesting little process of reasoning running through my head once, all prompted by reading that men are, apparently,  some 33% bigger than women, on average (If memory serves.  Not vital for the point, though). 

So I imagined, what would I feel like if women were, on average 18 stone compared to my 12 stone? 

But then you factor in not just that size, but the men are physically stronger, proportionate to body weight.   An 18 stone woman with my figure and strength.

And after that you factor in the fact that "she's" brought up, conditioned, to be more aggressive . . .

Anyway, the further I went thinking along these lines, the more I thought, "yes, I'd be at least less confident at least about my physical safety, as a woman, than I am now as a man."

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 4:39:28 PM   
OneMoreWaste


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Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
Are you sure fear is the word you were looking for Mike?   How about disgusted?    If I'm living with someone, I expect that I will occasionally see some of that behavior, but it's uncouth to meet someone looking as you've described, or scratching self in public...  


I don't know what it is, but there's a certain segment of the population around here that almost seems to take pride in openly scratching their crotches. Maybe it's a "Heh, I just made you look at MY CROTCH" thing.

I've been around some guys who, seriously, I wanted to offer them some Gold Bond powder or something. Dude, take that shit to a doctor or something.

-W
(there may be bugs on some of you mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me!)


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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 4:40:56 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
I am talking about men in their natural state:  ie:  Scratching where it itches;  Yelling or groaning at the tv during a football game;  Wearing your favorite old tech school sweat shirt (you know, the sweaty one)!   How could guys being guys be scary?


Some people will do anything to sell a book, including trying to speak for all of us.  I am not sure about the scary part. 

I love masculine men.  I don't enjoy football, & think it is ridiculously silly to be yelling & groaning at a tv set, or at a bunch of people chasing some ball that isn't attached to them.  If I am with someone who enjoys that sort of thing, I will generally make it a point to be off on my own doing something else, or giving him a mind blowing bj just to distract him. 

I could care less what he wears at home, so long as it is clean.  Of course, I have been known to accidentally rip a ratty shirt or a ratty pair of jeans, rendering them unwearable ever after.  As far as scratching where it itches, he's home, he can scratch whatever he likes, so long as my itches get scratched, if you know what I mean. 

But I don't consider any of those things to be particularly masculine at all, just maybe a little unappealing at times. 

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RE: Are Women afraid of maleness? - 1/23/2009 4:42:57 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
I am talking about men in their natural state:  ie:  Scratching where it itches;  Yelling or groaning at the tv during a football game;  Wearing your favorite old tech school sweat shirt (you know, the sweaty one)!   How could guys being guys be scary?

Wait... Im a GUY?!? That describes me to a T, so how could it scare me?
DV


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