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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I try to be the person that I want others to be:  responsible, kind, generous, and accepting.  I try to keep people that reflect my values around me, and avoid those that do not. 

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ORIGINAL: spiritofawoman08

A deep question, makes one think...thank you for shareing ....human compassion...that too seems to have left us ..in the work i do i see this daily ..painful . just remeber to always be the true spirit of the man u are the man you want to be and the man u you will be .....woman as well.we are the most important part ..it is in us to make those feel as such ..its the power we have ..that old saying * you get what you give* ..holds true ....

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ORIGINAL: Underumam
Is it my imagination, or are people in general getting more self-serving and thoughtless regarding others? Have you noticed a debasement in simple human decency and tolerance of others? If so, how do we find the passage back to the place we as humans, were before?

I know this can become a deep discussion, but a necessary one at that.

Be well,

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ORIGINAL: Underumam

I've got a busy schedule in college this week, so I won't be spending hours on the board. I'll check in periodically to see/respond to your replies. Thanks ahead of time :) I know this is a topic of general discussion interest, but I've decided it might be best to post here for the Females, as it's my true belief that since life begins with Females, any lasting permanent changes in humanity will come FIRST through them as well. :)

When I first poked my nose in the door of this lifestyle about 7 years ago, many of the people I met were wonderful human beings. The designation D/s did not seem to interfere with these individuals' genuine desire to help others and live happy lives. There was as always of course, varying reasons/motivations for being in this lifestyle. But it seemed that underneath the window dressing, there was a "deeper" sense of support and gratitude for what this way of life has brought to us. ....ie. browse the profiles and read what people actually write.

My questions: (And I think it applies to all facets of life here in the US now-not just the bdsm community)

Is it my imagination, or are people in general getting more self-serving and thoughtless regarding others? Have you noticed a debasement in simple human decency and tolerance of others? If so, how do we find the passage back to the place we as humans, were before?

I know this can become a deep discussion, but a necessary one at that.

Be well,

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ORIGINAL: spiritofawoman08

.Well you have it just as hard  ...a man must know how to handel that power , see it for what it truely is , all in all ..let the true spirit of u shine through ..those who are  the same will see it for what it is ....oh and p.s .. you have kind eyes .....

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ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

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ORIGINAL: Underumam
Is it my imagination, or are people in general getting more self-serving and thoughtless regarding others? Have you noticed a debasement in simple human decency and tolerance of others? If so, how do we find the passage back to the place we as humans, were before?

I know this can become a deep discussion, but a necessary one at that.

Be well,

I think you are asking some very big questions here, which are not at all specific to female dominants.  Since you mention female leadership in the process of change, I suppose I can give you some support for your ideas on that subject:  scientifically and socially speaking, the basic unit of humanity (and all primates) is the mother and her child.  The vast majority of human children receive all of their early childhood socialization and nurture from women, and even women who are not the dominant members of their society can exercise influence because of their social role as mothers and mates.  So there is some evidence that when the hearts and minds of women are changed, the society will change somewhat, at least in future generations.  Women have a tendency to teach and to demonstrate their values to their families and communities.

I think the solution that Tigresse pursues falls into that line.  "Do No Harm" and "Be the Change that You Would Like to See in the World" are certainly valid moral philosophies.  I certainly think that they are the best solutions to the problem of common decency, common courtesy and compassion for others in the BDSM community.  If you practice the values you believe in, reward them in others and are willing to stand up for the version of the social contract that you signed, things should change for the better.

However, if you really want to extend things to the greater problem of a break-down in the ability to empathize with others and treat them with humanity...there are other issues that arise.  One of the things I would like to change about the "Gendered Consciousness" of women around the world, actually, is the Cloister Effect.  The majority of the world's women seem to try and live in a little personal bubble, which includes themselves, a few loved ones, and perhaps their local community--if they are particularly public-spirited.  Women have always been strongly discouraged from extending their thinking, from considering the ways that they are connected to others and affected by others at the national or global scale.  But this kind of blinkered consciousness can be fatal nowadays, and has been a poor strategy for survival since the Industrial Revolution began.

Of course, the Cloister Effect is not something you see only in women--all westerners suffer from it to some degree or another, and it has gotten especially bad in the USA, since our media have not observed the anti-trust laws that are supposed to protect the public from exploitive corporations.

If I really want to analyze this problem, I would say that the trend that has destroyed Common Decency in our own society has been on-going for quite a bit longer than 7 years--I am old enough to have seen this trend accelerate for the course of my entire life, from the 1970's onward.  I see it in the family, I see it in the workplace, I see it in the streets and in the media and in government at all levels, from the school board to the foreign policy of the whole nation.

I honestly think that there is a lot of corrosive acid at work in our society:  greed, despair, selfishness, class war.  I wish I could say that I see any easy answers.  I just hope that people are learning to vote--to make their wishes known.  Not just by going to punch the ballot on election day but to vote with their dollars, vote with their viewing and consumption habits, vote with their time and energy.  That way, if there are enough good people, perhaps they can force the world to conform somewhat to their own values.  That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

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ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

I just remembered, I owe you an email, Underumam.

I've given this some thought and can't see a correlation between a decline in manners in society and that in female dominants specifically. There are so many factors involved.

In the age of technology we see many more people socialising through the use of computers, that in itself brings about a whole new set of issues b/c people impose isolation on themselves to spend more and more time online, that reduces social skills. Since the sixties, we saw an explosion of liberalism, people became focused on sexual exploration - often with the aid of drugs. Along with the freedom of sexual liberty came an explosion of population which has continued to increase with the prolonging of our elders' lives due to modern medicine... With rising inflation and both parents working to pay the bills, more and more children are left to fend for themselves after school which means they have no constraints and often rebel against society/their parents. Limited housing, social classes and in-your-face television/film and we've become inured to violence - they all add their own set of issues and in general we see a dislocation of good manners extended towards others as we take care of our own day-to-day lives.

As has already been said, though, people tend to respond in kind and we can only take responsibility for our individual behaviours toward others.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

No, I didn't take it as preaching at all. Moreso I took it at face value, a musing on the condition of the world we are living in. Something many people have been doing this last year it seems.

I think anyone, with young people in their lives, contemplates the future and what it holds for those we love. I cannot change the world my loved ones live in, but I can have an influence on how they live in it. I tried to raise thoughful, caring, and considerate adults. Watching them now, I am proud of the adults my children are. The best part, as they mature and become parents, they only become more selfless and caring.

I am a student of human nature, I expect a late teen, early twentysomething person to be much more selfish and self centred. It is part of their growth. I expect a 40+ person to behave and think, much differently. They should have matured beyond that. Sadly many don't.......for whatever reason. Some people never will. I cannot actively change that.

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ORIGINAL: Underumam
I guess that I see where dominant Females have such an opportunity to help many kindred, struggling male spirits. I mean if Females have it, and they pass it on to their children, then presto!  The whole world gets it. I starve to be brought up in a world like this...

Be well.

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ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

What I was trying to point out earlier, Underumam, is that with the progression of our society does come a form of emotional regression of sorts - and of the many professional women I know, few know their children. Sure they see them daily, briefly, but there remains absent that special connection.

We need to learn how to reconnect as human beings.

Yes, I have been remiss and shall endeavour to reconnect with you over the next couple of days

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ORIGINAL: Underumam
I guess that I see where dominant Females have such an opportunity to help many kindred, struggling male spirits. I mean if Females have it, and they pass it on to their children, then presto!  The whole world gets it. I starve to be brought up in a world like this...

Be well.