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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 7:35:55 AM   
pompeii


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Very interesting association of the wording of the Constitution with D/s interrelationships!

Carrying it literally to the logical conclusion, the "power" that is vested upon the President by the "People" would correlate to the power vested upon the Dom by the sub.

Interesting correlation.

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 7:48:59 AM   
YoursMistress


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I believe that the source of power is confidence.  When one exudes confidence and inspires others' confidence in them, it stimulates the assumption of power by them and the handing over of power by others.  I also believe that the power invested in someone by an office or position is really not so much power as it is responsibility

You may also note by my text that I believe power is blue and responsibility is red.  I'm not sure why I thought that was important but I threw it in anyway. 

yours


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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 8:04:04 AM   
MidMichCowboy


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Great question BitaTruble
I've found peoples responses very intriguing.
Mine is best expressed as a compilation of some things I've read:
Being authentic gives you power and makes your life count
Authenticity, which you could consider the discovery of the awesome power you get from simply being YOU.
Being authentic doesn’t mean you’re holding yourself above others.
It begins from being at the center of your life, but it isn’t the same thing as being “self-centered.”
Living at the center of our lives is a dynamic natural power, that’s available for all of us.
Authenticity makes your life count. To be yourself is a natural, human, and universal power.
Finding yourself and knowing yourself are very different things. There’s nothing wrong with noticing what you like about other people, and maybe even taking some of their best attributes and modeling after them.
Shakespeare wrote, “Assume a virtue and it’s yours.”
But you wouldn’t want to be a carbon copy. You should celebrate your own unique talents and abilities.
Authentic people often lead. They have reached their status because others are drawn to them, admire them and even emulate them.
Authentic people know what they want and where they want to go.
Sometimes they have to defend their beliefs, even to the point of ridicule.
But authentic people are able to keep their priorities very clear.
They do what needs to be done, even when everyone is watching and perhaps even more importantly, when no one is watching.
An authentic person has more energy, because he’s not giving his energy to contradictions. His actions are consistent with his inner self. He feels alive and exhilarated.
The authentic person mobilizes the energy of others. He inspires them.
Growing in authenticity means becoming more of what we’re truly meant to be. It’s a process we learn day by day. Take time at the end or your day to appreciate the good moments in it.
I believe that if a person is to have any power, it comes from being true to who they are. President Bush never looked comfortable being in charge. His hesitation in speech, his trouble expressing himself, his lack of confidence in what he did. Our new president wears the office like a comfortable suit. He started doing things and taking charge, as though he was born to it. That in turn is inspiring confidence, even in many who did not vote for him.
So it is with all people.


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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 10:36:08 AM   
badlilthang


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

No office can instill power, not even the presidency.  If we both went to prison, that weasel Bush would be my bitch.  
***eeeeew....why? - lol - ***



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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 10:47:05 AM   
Jeptha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
...In the first 3 seconds I meet someone, I know that if we all crashed in the jungle, they would either be a follower, a leader or a casualty (food for the wild beasts).

I think that there are more co-operative models, aside from the "lead/follow/get out of the way" options, and some of those may actually be desirable because they better use the strengths of all the people. Otherwise, you can easily have splitting into factions.
And, a house too much divided cannot stand, etc.
But then; I generally don't believe that we are divided into "leaders" and "followers".
I don't think it's quite that simple.

I'm not denigrating leadership ~ leadership is good, but it sometimes means deligating, and that means being able to deligate authority, when called for, as well.

"Confidence" was mentioned later in the thread as a key element, but confidence doesn't impress me at all. There has to be some quality to the ideas, and sound judgement, compassion, and probably a bunch of other things mixed in as well.

Think of a political figure you dislike. Surely they exuded confidence that they were right, their ideas were faultless, etc. Anybody with a closed mind is going to be confident within their own small arena.

Confidence alone can drive you right off the cliff.

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 1:38:35 PM   
StrangerThan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
...In the first 3 seconds I meet someone, I know that if we all crashed in the jungle, they would either be a follower, a leader or a casualty (food for the wild beasts).

I think that there are more co-operative models, aside from the "lead/follow/get out of the way" options, and some of those may actually be desirable because they better use the strengths of all the people. Otherwise, you can easily have splitting into factions.
And, a house too much divided cannot stand, etc.
But then; I generally don't believe that we are divided into "leaders" and "followers".
I don't think it's quite that simple.

I'm not denigrating leadership ~ leadership is good, but it sometimes means deligating, and that means being able to deligate authority, when called for, as well.

"Confidence" was mentioned later in the thread as a key element, but confidence doesn't impress me at all. There has to be some quality to the ideas, and sound judgement, compassion, and probably a bunch of other things mixed in as well.

Think of a political figure you dislike. Surely they exuded confidence that they were right, their ideas were faultless, etc. Anybody with a closed mind is going to be confident within their own small arena.

Confidence alone can drive you right off the cliff.



One also has to know when to follow. See... leadership for the sake of leadership isn't what defines power to me. The need to control everything or everyone isn't what defines it - for me. Honestly, I see both of those as more of a character flaw than a demonstration of or even a exuding of power. When I read this question intially, my mind immediately went to a man I served under while in the military. His style was laid back, laconic, with a good bit of what he wanted you to accomplish delivered in the form of a question backed by a wry smile. He wasn't an officer and wasn't even that high on the totem pole, and yet he garnered more natural respect than anyone else I met the entire 8 years I served. Natural respect vs official respect - bita's differentation between the Office in the Man and the Man in the Office.

I can honestly say I sweated more under situations where official respect was due since I wasn't exactly a candidate for a good conduct medal, but I in terms of actual remorse, the natural won every time over the official. The man in question wasn't that great of a physical specimen, was close to retirement, and often would leave you with some anecdote to ponder whether the issue you were chewing on was professional or personal in nature... just not the vision many would conjure when it came to crafting a portrait of a person who could command that type of respect with so little effort. And it wasn't just me, it was the entire division.

What we acheived under him was nothing short of momentous in respect to the things acheived under other leaders. It wasn't that no one followed orders under the others. The difference was.... what I think power is all about. The inspiration to acheive didn't come from proclamations or scowling figureheads. It came because he expected it of you... and you knew it. At times when we were in our element - which varies often when you're in the military depending on what job you have at a given time, he was more than willing to step aside and follow. He may have been our leader, but had we ended up on one of those deserted islands, I expect he'd have followed at least until those of us trained to survive in that environment created a place we could have survived.

I think mental, physical, emotional things can all affect what power is and how it comes across. Defining it as a specific set of skills, specific projection from someone is also relative in a sense. A leader who will lead down a path I know is wrong or has to have his way just to have it, isn't one I'm willing to step aside for... and no matter how Domly you are, unless you are the President, you're going to do some stepping out of the way in life. We all have something we submit to, whether it be laws that define what we can do, what we can't,  and how we interact or just the fact that there's only one President and we're not him.

If I ended up on a deserted island with several other people. I wouldn't be the one trying to set up order and declare myself leader. What I do see is that if someone else has to do that in order to fit some personality quirk, then he or she better damned well do it well, else I'm going to eat well, sleep well and stay dry whether that person does or not.. because I can and I know I can.

Again, I'm not doing it justice. I think some of it is relative to the beholder. But out of all the people I've known in life there are only two I'd be willing to follow anywhere. One is an uncle, the other is the man noted above. Both have the same style.

Gotta go.



< Message edited by StrangerThan -- 1/25/2009 2:09:49 PM >

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 3:11:53 PM   
mc1234


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I think the power that I give to him over me comes from my acceptance of him and his needs and wants and vice versa.  Without the acceptance of one another, I'm not able to give him the full authority that we both wish for.  I've been in relationships where the dom didn't really focus on my needs at all, and I found in order to surrender fully I need one who will care for me - in a different way, but just as fully, as I care for him. 

I can play at a relationship for awhile if we're having fun together if that central element doesn't exist (acceptance), but when it all comes together, it feels natural and right and not a role-play kind of thing.  It's not him commanding and my obeying; it's just the way it is, no thought processes needed.  He's earned my giving over my power to him by being who he is and in my knowing I'm cared for and 'in good hands' so to speak. 

I hope this makes sense!  I'm on cold meds so I may read this through tomorrow and realize my point didn't come across... lol. 

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 3:59:45 PM   
nhite


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i dunno that's such a claim to fame...  i've not pursued the domme thing at all and yet i have no doubt bush could be my bitch!  loll

i guess its a good thign for his life he has the parents he does

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

No office can instill power, not even the presidency.  If we both went to prison, that weasel Bush would be my bitch.    In the first 3 seconds I meet someone, I know that if we all crashed in the jungle, they would either be a follower, a leader or a casualty (food for the wild beasts).  I think this summation process is an intrinsic instinct everyone has whether they are aware of it working or not.  My power comes from the history of life choices that make me a leader. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
So, the question .. how do you get your power? Do you earn it then take office.. or do you have it so get the office?

[et al]


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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 6:16:57 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:


So, the question .. how do you get your power?


I seen this thread last night but didn't have the energy to respond with the substance that I felt this question deserves.

First, What is power?  In my view... power is nothing more than the ability to take action to affect a desired outcome!  Note... ability to take action is not meaning that you do so. But one can choose to take an action that will bring about an consequence they desire.  But.... what gives a person that ability?  what are the sources of that power?

For me personally and most people in general, I don't believe that there is singular source of power.  In different situations, even within a given relationship, power can be rooted from different sources.  I think there is a tendency that a given source of power will be more predominant for an individual in most situations but not absolute.

As far as sources of power think that two individuals (French and Raven) some 40 years ago put together the best thoughts and ideals on the subject.  Generally, it was there view that their was five basic sources of power.

Coercive Power - It is an obvious approach for dictorships.  But within the Power dynamics of the lifestyle.  This is often seen in our punishment activities.  The ability of a Dominant/Master to punish their submissive/slave can and does bring about desired consequences.  In most cases, such type of power is often gained through negotiations and as such when a person follows the root or source of power alittle further.  It is seldom that Coercive power is an initial source of power with lifestyle relationships.  But, in abusive relationships.... coercive power very much exists within the dynamic.  In my own dynamic, coercive power exist with our play activities primarily.  I very much use force of will to bring about desired outcomes.   But... the coercive power that exists in my relationship a secondary source of my abilty to bring about desired outcomes.

Reward Power - Incentatives of all sorts are used to encourage and influence others to bring about a desired outcome.  The auto industry is very big on using incentatives or rewards to encourage us into the behavior they desire... purchasing of a vehicle.  But, these incentative are not effective if you just don't want a car!  Within our lifestyle dynamics, many submissives/slaves are seeking acknowledged and approval from their Dominant partners.  This internal drive puts the ability of the Dominant to affect a submissives behavior to recieve such acknowledgements.   As long as the submissive/slaves seek these types of rewards and others the Dominant has some power.   The key for me with this source of power is why does the submissive seek these acknowledges from Me.  Again, I think the root or source of this type of power is deeper.  I believe that coercive power, reward power is a secondary source within my relationships and something I don't depend on.

Legitimate Power - When you made references to the powers of the president, much if not all what you were refering to was about Legitimate Power.   In this situation we are basically talking about Authority of the person to take action to have a desired out come.  In our D/s and M/s dynamics that people come together to convey and transfer power to an individual in a relationship we are talking about authority or legititmate power.  The process of how such power comes to the hands of one individuals is of a varying nature.  One can root through the past and learn from history how the president obtained the authority that he now has.  Our relationships have some sort of negotiation or process that we go through which will convey this power.  But again, like reward and coercive power, the reasons a person recieves the power is rooted deeper.  Why did people vote for this President to have all that Authority.  Why did this submissive/slave make the choice to give this Dominant/Master this authority.

The first three sources of power could be describe as Positional Power.  In that a person must achieve some sort of position to beable to exercise the given power.   In our lifestyle relationships, that position is conveyed or recognized by submissives.  Within Consenual lifestyle relationships, Dominants can't simple acquire these different positions.  However, In an non-consenual situation an individual could put himself into such position.  For example, in the germanic tribes of the dark ages, chieftains obtained position out of skill of their weapons arm and often they used their skill and coercive power to establish themselves as the chieftain.  Even in modern times we have many dictators that used the same tactics to place themselves into power.  Regardless of using consensual or non-consensual approaches to achieve positional power over others, there is deeper root or source of power.

The following two could be best described as personal power.  This type of power is earned by an individual and not conveyed by others.

Expert Power.  This could also be identified as knowledge or skill power.  We have likely all heard the term knowledge is power.  Knowledge comes in many different forms.   We often precieve experience as knowledge and as such it is power.  It is not surprizing that so many within the lifestyle wish to proclaim their experience because it doesn often present a position of power.  Those lacking knowledge will be at a disadvantage.  But it is more than just Knowledge.  Skill or traits of who a person is.   The masochist is very much looking for that person who has the sadistic abilities that can give them pain they desire.  I believe that many Tops and Sadists who have a known skill and ability can attest to the influence and power they can have over those that crave to enjoy play.  These same individuals can turn and use Reward or Coercive power with these same individuals.  In my own world, Kyra and I developed our relationship largely because of the knowledge I had.  It was very much a teacher/student relationship.  Even after these past few years with Kyra having the knowledged that I have shared, there is still that teacher/student position.  The Teacher/student dynamic is a powerful influence and I believe it is why you have so many individuals that project the position that they are a mentor or teacher.  Even after the knowledge as been taught, there often an influence to the relationship dynamic that positively affects D/s dynamics.

Referent Power.  This source of power is by far the most complex and deepest source of power that I believe occurs within our initimate dynamics.  In essense, we are talking about the chrismatic preception that we project on others.  There is no singular recipe that will result in others seeing a person has having chrismatic power.  But, many individuals in past and present have found their chrismatic nature to be the basis of why they have been able to tap into other sources of power.  Being who I am is the fundamental reason why Alandra and Kyra submitted to me so readily and easily.  I was the key that unlocked their inner nature.  I did not need to be or work to be anything.  I just had to be authentic in the preception they had of me.  It was time that allowed them to understand and appreciate the person I am.   In many cases, who I am, has had similiar but not as deep effect on others.  I can't state with any precision what specifically of my persona inspired or fit the lock of Alandra, Kyra and others.  I just know it did.  What I think is most important is Integrity!  This is more than being honest.  It is being consistent and even predictable based on their knowledge of my values and principles.  They can trust that their expectations of me will be accurate because their knowledge of me is accurate.  It is accurate because I authentically projected a preception that is ME!  I believe that when one is effective in giving full and authentic disclosure of who they are to another and they gain such persons submission and obedience;  it has the greatest chance to be given fully and equally authentic. 

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 8:43:09 PM   
catize


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quote:

  reward power is a secondary source within my relationships and something I don't depend on.  


I do think we all depend very strongly on reward power. Praise from an out side source, or in the case of our employment, monetary reinforcement, are all very nice and appreciated.  But the strongest motivation comes from within.  Most of us are capable of finding an internal incentive; that sense of satisfaction in our relationships or our work.   
I believe we all need to feel rewarded for our endeavors or we wouldn’t continue them. 


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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 9:33:23 PM   
DavanKael


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I believe power, for me, is an endogenous force.  With affirmational external forces, it is enhanced.  With predatory or negativistic external forces, it can be diminished.  It remains a particular self-posession. 
I once described myself to someone as a "f*cking force of nature".  In that moment, I wasn't trying to intimidate.  I was attempting to explain to the person that even if one is on the s-side of the kneel, they can be formidable and there is no inherent conflict.  In fact, kneel or not, D/s dynamics or not, I believe that having a partner of power is an incredibly valuable thing. 
Power does not only manifest in those ways that many stereotype, the more harsh fashions...it too, resides in the ability to extend a kindness, a helping hand, etc. 
Power is all around and within us.  What we do with it, how we manifest it, how we interact with others as we acknowledge power is immensely important. 
  Davan

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 9:59:59 PM   
girlygurl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

To me, it is an inner quality that a person either has or not. I think there are alot of people that strive to have it, may even learn to give a good show of it. They suceed in convincing people of it. But when it is tested they crumble under the pressure. People that have real power only get stronger when tested.

It's like an inner strength of steel that only gets tempered and stronger when put to the fire.

I also think that power can be manifested in many different ways. Not always in an obvious leader. I've met some very powerful people who's power was subtle and steady. Not prone to flash and flair.


Well said LaTigresse,

I was going to use my Sir as an example (cause He is all so powerful). He doesn't use His power so to speak to show off or belittle others around Him. It something of a natural character trait for Him. When He speaks others listen and take note of His opinions. They may not agree with Him but appreciate His opinions all the same. He leads by example.
I can look into His eyes and be captivated (not just cause I'm in love with the man) when He speaks people listen, and when people speak He listens. He is genuine.

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/25/2009 10:26:28 PM   
Vendaval


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I am going to stick with what is often called personal power rather than power from a position or role of authority here.  I think that there are several components in the personalities of powerful people; confidence, intelligence, clarity, vision, emotional stability, pragmatism and sheer force of will.

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 12:01:50 AM   
ALAstella


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Power is a bit like money. You know, like some people never seem to have any money, and for others money seems to stick to them like glue, or they attract it like magnets. Which is better? Having money, or being able to use it and manage it effectively?

And so too it is I find with power. Having power is only halfway to being powerful, the other half is being able to use power effectively. This comes from knowing when to relinquish power, when to take power, and when to maintain power.

Would the office of President make someone powerful? I'm not sure, in fact I doubt it, having met two Presidents in my lifetime. Status has got nothing to do with power, as I feel that real power comes from within someone. I've also met some pretty powerful homeless people, or rather powerful people who were homeless.

I agree with Jeptha here, in that you cannot divide people up into leaders, followers and casualties. You can have people who prefer to lead, prefer to follow, but I feel that we all have the basics of all these things within us. It just requires development and practice.

To me the most important characteristic of having power or being powerful is in itself empowerment, as in making things possible for other people, or indeed yourself.

Another very important aspect of power is being able to manage, transform and channel energy.

I give as an obvious example here the sea, a large body of water which can kill you, drown you, if you let it. But if you work with the sea you can float on it, and use it to create more energy. The sea is infinitely more powerful than you, but you can draw power from the sea.



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RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 12:08:10 AM   
Lordandmaster


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This may sound simplistic to all the high thinkers, but I think it's the only right answer (since we are human beings and not pack wolves): you get power when people give it to you.  So the real question isn't "How do you get your power?" but "How do you get other people to give you power?"

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 1:02:08 AM   
masterforRT


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I've always believed that there are two kinds of power, personal power and power over others. Personal power is simply the ability to control yourself to set and accomplish goals for yourself.

Power over others is just that. It can be freely given (as in a submissive giving it to a Dom-or people voting for the President) or it can be taken (as in a dictator or military leader). Usually you have to have power over yourself (personal power) before you can have it over others, but there have been exceptions before-Idi Amin comes to mind.

< Message edited by masterforRT -- 1/26/2009 1:06:30 AM >

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 10:49:38 AM   
Jeptha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerThan
...When I read this question intially, my mind immediately went to a man I served under while in the military. His style was laid back, laconic, with a good bit of what he wanted you to accomplish delivered in the form of a question backed by a wry smile.
When I was in the military, the leader I respected most really wasn't much of a leader.
He hadn't shot up through the ranks. He'd just outlasted a lot of people, so he eventually found himself in a leadership role.
I say he wasn't a "leader" as we might typically think of one, but he did have good common sense, and basic human decency, which served him, and us, pretty well.

The difference was, if he told you something or asked you to do something, you could trust that it was because it needed telling or doing (even if it was for a superficial reason, like to preserve appearances of "military bearing").
It was never just going to be some bullshit exercise of "leadership".

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 11:03:46 AM   
Naberius


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This is something I have been asked often in the past. How I answer varies, but it comes down to this.

I don't believe that an imaginary force makes me feel powerful. Instead, I strongly believe that accepting ALL of the girl and ALL the responsibilities that
come with her and the one's I set is the real power. I enjoy having the ability to protect, teach, and love her. she is considered the most highly valuable possession a Master can own.

I also enjoy having the rights and all the responsibilities of another. I cherish the gift the girl offers me and in return provide the safety, guidance, support and knowledge she seeks and wants as well as, guiding her to grow into the person she wants to be.

Not everyone thinks this way, however this is what I believe real power is. Unlike using "force" or "control" this kind of "power" is mental and emotional. I don't believe power should be referred to physical contact for if it was physical power, damage unto the girl can be a real challenge to repair. 

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RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 11:15:55 AM   
Jeptha


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I think my sense of personal power comes from lots of vaying sources.
Just two off the top of my head are;
1) always wanting to be independent, even when I was young.
2) a basic optimism that things will be ok in the long run.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: That thing called power... - 1/26/2009 2:40:03 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
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~FR~

Power is quite simply the ability or inability to ignore or be ignored, respectively. That which you can totally ignore, has no power. That which you absolutely cannot ignore has total power. This can be extended metaphorically to include the application of physical force on animate/inanimate objects. If you try to push a house, odds are that it isn't going to respond in any meaningful way. Thus the house is successfully "ignoring" you. So I agree with KOM with a minor quibble. Power is just the ability to influence an outcome. Getting the desired one is not a requirement.

In any society or group situation, the vast majority of power comes from other people. In that sense LAM (people have to give it to you) and JustDarkness (power requires the perception of power) are correct. Power from other people either comes from people wanting what they think you want (can be referent power), believing you know something or possess some skill they don't (expert power), wanting what they believe you can give them if they do what you want (reward power), fearing what might happen if they don't do what you want (coercive power), or any combination of the above.

quote:

So, the question .. how do you get your power?


For me, it is something that was probably innate which I have developed into a skillset. All I have to do is care enough to apply it, so the only thing that really mutes it is apathy.

quote:

For those who are on the kneel side of the flogger, who recognize power as part of what drives their desire to submit, serve or something else, do you think you have a direct impact on the power your dominant weilds?


I'm not on that side, but the answer is yes (whether you think you do or not).

quote:

Does your dominant take your power or do you give it freely because they have earned such from you?


This is really dependent on whether or not you believe "free will" is infinite or not. If you have infinite free will, power can only be given. However, if you believe that free will is finite, power can both be given and taken.

(in reply to VeryNastyDom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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