RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It

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RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/11/2006 8:00:10 PM

Gomez

Posts: 51
Joined: 12/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648

quote:

In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance?

Should the submissve (he/she/exceptions) put the dominant (he/she/exceptions) through hoops (earn their dominance), should he square dance, should he bowl a 300, should he be able to juggle, should he be able to control a bullwhip to strike within 1/1000th of an inch, should the sub be able to toss a 50lb rock more than 10 feet, take 5,000 hits from a whip, be willing to have anal sex?

Thats up to the sub and dom in question. Seems to me at any rate. Everyone puts everyone else through some kind of hoop, filter, earning ritual whether they think they do or not. Examples can be provided if necessary.

The more you can define what you are looking for, the fewer are that are available to suite that requirement, but at the same time when you find that person. It's a good thing. (I hope Martha Stewart doesn't sue me for saying that).

Perhaps a better question is 'do we fit'? Not: dominant/submissive/slave _for me_ doesn't mean not dominant/submissive/slave _to someone else_.

D (owner of j)

I think Wolfie648 has hit the nail on the head in his reply....and I totally agree with it. We all are Dom/sub/slave on different levels and is hard to make a generalisation as to how people must be taken. Of course it is better if you can prove your personality, but it should be taken on trust till proven otherwise. Just my POV.

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Sometimes people would rather believe in a lie as its a lot easier and less complicated than the truth!

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Post #: 41

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/11/2006 8:14:58 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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IMHO this will depend on if the Dominant is just any random Dom at a munch or playparty, or if this is a potential play partner.

In the case of any random Dominant that one may meet at a play party or munch is deserving of common courtesy and respect simply because they are a human being just like you.

In the case of a Dom that's a potential play partner, hopefully they will have already earned your respect by being themselves, or you wouldn't be considering playing with them...would you?

Or...if you are asking if you are required to address someone as "Sir" or "Mistress" simply because someone put Sir or Mistress in front of their name...if you are silly enough to do it they probably won't stop you.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to Gomez)

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Post #: 42

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/12/2006 5:52:25 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance?

I believe the answer to be Yes! It is my thought process that a Dominant (a person) is an individual that is able to exert influence, control and/or preeminence on a skill, his environment and/or over others. Dominance is in fact a state of being Dominant! The demeanor of dominance towards others is not something that immediately comes into existence, just because one claims themselves to be Dominant. As an analogy let’s consider the naturally talented athlete. Some of the more exceptional athlete’s are immediately recognized for the natural gifts and skills they have and their natural propensity towards a particular sport. However, even these athlete’s must make a continually effort to maximize the talents that they are naturally gifted towards. Even the most gifted athlete will not be able to realize their potential if they do not exercise the talents within. The athlete doesn’t earn his natural talent, but he must earn and expend effort to realize his talent!. Therefore, I consider that a Dominant person doesn’t earn that which makes him Dominant, but he must earn and expend efforts to realize his Dominance!

quote:

Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes?

When a person makes declaration that he is Dominant, such a person establishes that he will seek to exert influence, control and/or preeminence on a skill, his environment and/or over others. This declaration establishes the expectation that the Dominant shall realize his/her inherent nature and achieve Dominance. Before I would grant obedience and/or respect to such an individual, I would expect an active demonstration of behaviors that actualizes the results that such a declaration entails.

I would expect Dominance Applied would realize Dominant Results! If there is not Results, there will be no obedience or respect.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/12/2006 8:36:11 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance?

I believe the answer to be Yes! <snip> As an analogy let’s consider the naturally talented athlete. Some of the more exceptional athlete’s are immediately recognized for the natural gifts and skills they have and their natural propensity towards a particular sport. However, even these athlete’s must make a continually effort to maximize the talents that they are naturally gifted towards. Even the most gifted athlete will not be able to realize their potential if they do not exercise the talents within. The athlete doesn’t earn his natural talent, but he must earn and expend effort to realize his talent!. Therefore, I consider that a Dominant person doesn’t earn that which makes him Dominant, but he must earn and expend efforts to realize his Dominance!

quote:

Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes?

<snip>

I would expect Dominance Applied would realize Dominant Results! If there is not Results, there will be no obedience or respect.

Interesting response, Knight. I am more curious though, about a situation where the athlete says "I am a great athlete. I expect you to dust off home plate every time I come to bat, I want my own bat boy and don't even think about throwing me anything under 82 mph". Do we buy that, or do we wait to see his RBIs and batting average? God, I love a good metaphor

Thanks,
Smythe

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Post #: 44

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/12/2006 8:45:20 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

yes I agree with you about that...a person's dominance is only relevant to their submissive.

I don't think that the title of Dominant must be earned...I guess anyone can call themselves anything. I am mainly rubbed the wrong way by dominants who want to control others and can't control themselves, who expect responsibility and responsiveness from their submissive and do not demonstrate those traits. That's what I mean about earning respect; by being a role model, and by never demanding more than I, myself, would do.

Smythe
==============

now THERE is a smart Lady......
i wish You would tell that to AAkasha and stef....and SweetDommes....
THEY got it in their head they know it all..........
esp AAkasha...

take care Ma'am.

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

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Post #: 45

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/12/2006 9:04:22 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

Interesting response, Knight. I am more curious though, about a situation where the athlete says "I am a great athlete. I expect you to dust off home plate every time I come to bat, I want my own bat boy and don't even think about throwing me anything under 82 mph". Do we buy that, or do we wait to see his RBIs and batting average? God, I love a good metaphor

Thanks,
Smythe

well show me the results! hot shot... and then you will earn rewards that such results deserve! Until then your just another Batter trying to hit the ball!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Smythe)

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Post #: 46

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/13/2006 12:47:32 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

Interesting response, Knight. I am more curious though, about a situation where the athlete says "I am a great athlete. I expect you to dust off home plate every time I come to bat, I want my own bat boy and don't even think about throwing me anything under 82 mph". Do we buy that, or do we wait to see his RBIs and batting average? God, I love a good metaphor

Either that individual is or isn't a great athlete... if they are it will shortly become self evident, if not so to will that. You either are or aren't an athlete, you either are or aren't dominant.... submissive... a doctor... etc. One does not earn these things (though you may learn them), you either are or you aren't.

However... just saying you are does not make it so. A claim is meaningless until it is backed up with action, the proof of dominance is in their behavior. That great athlete will likely already be known to you as such, because their prior actions will have demonstrated their ability and the resulting reputation may well have preceeded them.

Dominance isn't earned (though it may be learned), but a reputation as a dominant is earned. And so it is with anything else (such as being a submissive, a slave, a great cook, a good parent, a good friend, etc.).

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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Post #: 47

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/13/2006 5:04:35 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

WTH?

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

now THERE is a smart Lady......
i wish You would tell that to AAkasha and stef....and SweetDommes....
THEY got it in their head they know it all..........
esp AAkasha...

take care Ma'am.

(in reply to veronicaofML)

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Post #: 48

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It - 1/13/2006 5:11:58 AM

imtempting