Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile

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FemDom2008 -> Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:28:30 PM)
Hello All, How many of you have required that a sub deactivate his profile after having only a couple of weeks emailing and two phone conversations? I ask this because a friend of my sub has been asked to deactivate his profile under these conditions. I have never asked anyone to deactivate as I believe that it is something that should be offered by the sub and not required by me (after all, if he does not want to deactivate, I am secure enough in the relationship, if he does, that is fine too) and if I ever felt compelled to do so, I certainly would not require it until we had met and I was sure that I was ready to take on the responsibility. This screams "red flag" to me but maybe I take this all too seriously. My concern is that he is being taken by a scammer, he is very new to the site and eager to find a Domme. What do you think?

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:34:14 PM)
Yep. Scammer.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:36:20 PM)
Nope, never done it, never will. It screams "red flag" for me too. At most adding a line that says he's under consideration by Mistress XYZ and will not accept mail from other dominants is sufficient. If it ever gets to the collaring stage and he wishes to comply, he can simply hide his profile rather than deactivating his account.

YoursMistress -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:38:50 PM)
Miss, With only weeks of experience here, I would vote a resounding no. From my view, having an outlet or a resource for opinions on the reasonableness of activities, as a sources of ideas, and even a connection can be invaluable. As always, my ( or anyone's) opinion on what you friend should do is as good as the information we have gleaned from your post and our collective experience. Your friend's choice might rightly go against an overwhelming tide of public opinion. yours

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:41:12 PM)
I would like him to acknowledge my existence on his profile, but deactivate it? Never. Why would I keep someone from his friends and contacts?

Lockit -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:48:46 PM)
I don't know about being a scammer... but surely would fit into my catagory of too controlling, too fast and from a place I wouldn't think too highly of. No, I would not do that.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 12:53:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FemDom2008 Hello All, How many of you have required that a sub deactivate his profile after having only a couple of weeks emailing and two phone conversations? The fact that they've not even met in person yet, that they've only been online a couple of weeks and have talked only twice... How could he not see that he's getting scammed? For as long as there are desperate, foolish subs like him, scammers will stay in business.

TexasMaam -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 1:00:03 PM)
Any Domme who has half a brain would know the boy will simply put up a new profile, anyway. It sounds like a silly exercise in 'obedience' that might be appropriate for later on in the relationship but is absurd at this point in their communication. TM

CatdeMedici -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 3:34:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming quote: ORIGINAL: FemDom2008 Hello All, How many of you have required that a sub deactivate his profile after having only a couple of weeks emailing and two phone conversations? The fact that they've not even met in person yet, that they've only been online a couple of weeks and have talked only twice... How could he not see that he's getting scammed? For as long as there are desperate, foolish subs like him, scammers will stay in business. New subs are the best meat for scammers as they assume that is the norm--and sadly there are a lot of lonely people who just want someone..anyone.

thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 4:02:05 PM)
Oh, heck, I'd like it if Fox had the time to join me on here and FetLife. I'd never tell him to leave a social or networking site unless it was causing him emotional harm. I just can't imagine trying to isolate him in this fashion or even worse I can't imagine feeling so uncertain of my own authority that I'd be threatened enough to worry about him on these sorts of sites.

SthrnCom4t -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 5:13:05 PM)
Did what Lady H said! quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I would like him to acknowledge my existence on his profile, but deactivate it? Never. Why would I keep someone from his friends and contacts?

SunNMoon -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 6:52:16 PM)
Nope never. I have asked to add in "only looking for friends" that was after we'd been in a relationship for awhile.

SweetDommes -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 8:11:09 PM)
I never thought it was a huge red flag, but I do see it as a sign of insecurity. We've never asked it, although we do ask to be informed if he is talking to other people (just like we tell him if we are talking to more than one).

Vendaval -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 10:16:42 PM)
I have never required a submissive to de-activate their profile.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/25/2009 11:36:14 PM)
I don't require it, but if I'm talking to someone, and it begins to look serious, they tend to do it without my asking, and I find it flattering. I usually either change profile or deactivate when considering someone that looks serious, or when I haven't the sense of humor to receive fantasy crude/fantasy laden emails. [:@] M

eponastar -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/26/2009 12:15:22 AM)
I would never ask someone to deactivate their profile. I would tell them to state they are 'under consideration' at that time and any emails should be directed to me. If he wants to impress her, have him hide his profile, not deactivate it if she is really demanding that. It screams trouble, big 'red flag' or a resounding ever favorite, psycho!

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/26/2009 1:02:11 AM)
This I disagree with... Why would her asking him to be not searchable while they are considering each other a whole lotta psycho, but your asking him to have all email sent to you perfectly normal? As a matter of fact, if I'd had a couple of weeks of kool emails, and a couple or more very nice phone conversations, I would have a clear feel for whether there is initial chemistry or not, so I don't see anything wrong with her asking him to deactivate... As a matter of fact, I think it's more normal, and less invasive than allowing me into all his emails, which may include other lady friends, which if not platonic, would irritate me. M

MissMorrigan -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/26/2009 1:23:59 AM)
Don't you find the insistance of having a submissive state they are 'under consideration' on their profile and then direct all emails to their dominant degrading? It's akin to stating they aren't to be trusted handling their own mail and if you follow that logic, if you could not trust a submissive (Of your choice) why on earth would you want to have a relationship with them? I would be VERY leery of any so-called 'dominant' who wanted to micromanage every detail of their submissive's life, and in by doing so, isolate them... isolation may start with the emails/profile, but extends where? Friends? Family members? What is so special regarding my relationship with Reality is that we trust one another implicitly, this aids our personal growth, as well as our growth as a couple within a D/s relationship. quote: ORIGINAL: eponastar I would never ask someone to deactivate their profile. I would tell them to state they are 'under consideration' at that time and any emails should be directed to me. If he wants to impress her, have him hide his profile, not deactivate it if she is really demanding that. It screams trouble, big 'red flag' or a resounding ever favorite, psycho!

BondageBarbieX -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/26/2009 2:38:20 AM)
I am a sub and have voluntarily hidden my profile n respect to my Daddy for days.weeks even months at a time.I would not do this for someone I was in casual talks with or not collared by.

MissMorrigan -> RE: Dommes requiring a deactivation of profile (1/26/2009 2:44:54 AM)
BB, that is something you have undertaken voluntarily, but how would you feel at your respective other demanding that this be done and any emails you receive are read by them firstly, would you not feel this was intrusive and a slight to your integrity?

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