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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 3:42:54 PM   
4u2spoil


Posts: 211
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		If being insulted were my thing, you'd have to try much harder than that. Must be a Cubs fan.

(says the Chicago girl who will encourage almost anything from the Windy City)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

Sorry, uncalled for - I appologize.

(in reply to windycitysub78)
Profile   Post #: 241
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 4:01:31 PM   
windycitysub78


Posts: 55
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 4u2spoil

If being insulted were my thing, you'd have to try much harder than that. Must be a Cubs fan.

(says the Chicago girl who will encourage almost anything from the Windy City)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

Sorry, uncalled for - I appologize.



Even me??? I'm honored. :)

Appologies again.

(in reply to 4u2spoil)
Profile   Post #: 242
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 4:02:43 PM   
4u2spoil


Posts: 211
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the compliment LaTigresse. windycitysub is right though - what you can't see in the photo is that I actually have 2 teeth, 1 eye and a well concealed 3rd nipple. Turns most people off, but boy do those toothless, pirate, extra nipple fetishists love it. When I see those hot girls looking to be spoiled, I just roll my one eye because they may be hot, but they'll never be special.

(which is just to say that I may not be everyone's taste, but for some - desire for gifts, attention and all - I'm exactly their taste)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

Well, if spoiling people was my cup of tea, I'd pick a hotter domme than 4u2spoil! :)

<G>

Ok, sorry people. :)



That was a nasty snarky remark and uncalled for! From what I can see of the one photo, there is plenty of hotness.


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 243
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 4:09:53 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepSouth

I am trying to get it right in my head but cannot seem to do it. I recently asked for advice from people on here about how I should write my profile, so I have taken the time to read profiles of both Dommes and subs. Now I understand about pro Dommes and I do respect what they do but would it be crazy if a sub stated in his profile that he wanted a "financially successful" Domme? I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman. I am all about spoiling my owner, i.e. servitude, buying gifts, dinner, flowers, etc. etc. but I am not exactly "financially successful" If a sub asked in his profile for a generous Domme who would spoil and pamper him I bet he would get some real strange e-mails. I realize to enter into a D/s relationship a Domme would want a sub that was in a stable position but is not being wealthy a liability to a sub? I would like someone who knows to shed a little light for me.


I've never mentioned anything in my profile about my finances except for something along the lines of "I'm gainfully employed", and so far, in my experiences, finances have never come up as a concern in my discussions with dominant types.

That being said, if I were still searching for someone, too much initial interest in my finances from any prospective dominant type could turn into a red flag situation real fast. But that's just me and how I think. Your opinion may vary...


_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to DeepSouth)
Profile   Post #: 244
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 4:11:04 PM   
4u2spoil


Posts: 211
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		If I can encourage the Cubs, I can handle an aspiring comedian.

Really, not one of my reasons for being dominant or liking what I like involves thinking I'm perfect. No offense taken.

quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

quote:

ORIGINAL: 4u2spoil

If being insulted were my thing, you'd have to try much harder than that. Must be a Cubs fan.

(says the Chicago girl who will encourage almost anything from the Windy City)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windycitysub78

Sorry, uncalled for - I appologize.



Even me??? I'm honored. :)

Appologies again.

(in reply to windycitysub78)
Profile   Post #: 245
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 6:27:01 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I can understand why being financially stable might be seen as a good or desired quality in a partner. Based on profiles I have seen, financially successful is sometimes used as a code word for a desire for financial pampering.

Just as some dommes seek subs who are financially stable because they are turned off by someone who might be seeking a free ride, some subs are turned off by someone who might be seeking a free ride, as seems to be the case in some profiles that make reference to financial success. Just as some dommes are turned off by subs who seek to use them sexually and are focused on what the dommes can do for them, some subs are turned off by dommes who seek to use them financially and are focused on what the subs can do for them. No matter the situation, energy that flows one way in a relationship without any form of renewal eventually depletes. Some will leave such situations when the energy depletes. Some avoid what seems to be a situation headed for depletion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 4u2spoil
It's my opinion that if someone is an important part of your life, you don't say "oh, except for anything involving money."


I agree that a gift given out of affection, like you did for the man you dated, is a good gesture that carries satisfaction in itself. Online, some profiles demand financial gestures from the first contact. Thus, I don't think it is always asked in the name of affection. And I doubt one feels loved when one has to demand a gift. Sometimes it's asked just because it is convenient to get gifts.

I appreciate what you did for the man you dated. I think if one initiates or reciprocates the sincerity and good will, one can expect and will likely get the same that much more. To use your example to see the other side, how would you have felt if the man you were dating demanded that you do all that you did for him?

In my experience, this issue or the objection to being used financially comes up more online than offline, and more so when one is talking about a faceless (metaphorically) and unknown person. The barriers or flags that arise online do not apply as much when one meets and likes another through an organic introduction in person, or when a familiarity has been established.

If women who demand to be spoiled see gifts as a gesture of sincerity and good will, is the same returned to the sub and, if so, how is it done? If the women who expect to be pampered think giving gifts is an act of affection and that the reward is in giving the gift itself, do they do the same?

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to 4u2spoil)
Profile   Post #: 246
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 6:53:36 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus
Guys EXPECT you to have ALL of that Pro or Amateur.
They EXPECT you to send them good quality pictures.
They EXPECT you to look like you just stepped out of a porn movie in the photos.
They EXPECT your body to be flawless
They EXPECT you to not look a day over 21
They EXPECT you to have pretty outfits
They EXPECT you to have a fully equipped Dungeon!


I do not connect with this argument neither personally (based on how I feel) nor intellectually (based on points raised by other dommes).

And, in favor of women who are not professional, I think of them as lifestyle versus amateurs.

As for having items, I enjoy the mental aspects of BDSM. Still, I have gathered a reasonable collection of toys that has generally exceeded that of partners I have had. I have acquired an assortment of items I use for service related activities. I have a reasonable wardrobe of fetish outfits. I have never felt the need to be compensated for these items. I got them because I wanted to get them and have available for use with someone in whom I have an interest.

quote:

Being a Domme is a LOT of hard work.. There is heavy equipment, expensive  paraphenalia, expensive outfits, makeup, hair styling, manicures, plastic surgery, Rent for a big space, advertising, maintenace, PHOTOGRAPY, web design, Web Hosting.... add to that regular living expenses!
Gosh I am getting exhausted thinking of all the money I have spent...with very little coming in.


Your scenario confuses me. In a prior thread, you indicated that you wished to be cared for like a wife, and split 14 hours each day (which is remarkable, incidentally) between 2-3 subs in non-professional relationships and would not have time for a profession, and that your subs took care of you in that manner because they liked to do so (which would make me think there is somethin coming in). All the talk of equipment, advertising, photography and the like makes me wonder whether I misunderstood you and instead you speak of a professional practice.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 2/2/2009 7:50:00 PM >

(in reply to LunaVenus)
Profile   Post #: 247
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 7:36:13 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Miscellaneous thoughts follow:

I had a conversation recently with a young prima donna like woman who had ended things with her boyfriend and was talking about what she expects in a relationship and why. For her, being attractive and what she does to be attractive (buying make-up, etc) entitles her to be financially pampered. In my opinion, doing what she does might raise the odds of her being financially pampered but does not entitle it--I find that attitude of entitlement odd. Also, this conversation and other observations suggest that some women see financial pampering not so much as an act of affection but as a measure of their attractiveness or femnity. To some such women, not validating them in this manner is somewhat offensive. While I can understand a bit of the basis behind the thinking (society and men contribute to this notion), I think the reason for offense taken lies more with the woman who holds this metric to be so prominent. I think this reason and the convenience of receiving material items are likely what drive most expectations for financial pampering.

Over time and via discussions of this type, I have reflected to try to identify why financial references are a flag for me. Some of it might come from the caution I adopted from my pre-internet attempts to find others via ads in fetish magazines. Some of it might come from wishing to be wise with money. I think the biggest issue comes from my ego and sense of self. I would feel that I would be disrespectful to someone if I demanded that I be compensated materially for my attention. I feel the same way at the receiving end of this sentiment. Also, as Mistress Dolly said in a related thread, exploiting men is a psychological art. The idea of allowing myself to be had also creates discomfort for me, which also reduces to an ego issue--I do not wish to be had or feel foolish for allowing myself to be had. Furthermore, I find the sentiment behind an attempt to hustle or exploit disrespectful. Thus, I am cold to scenarios I perceive to lie outside the ordinary as might be for general social  and romantic relationships.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 2/2/2009 7:44:47 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 248
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 8:03:58 PM   
4u2spoil


Posts: 211
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		I think I was a bit more intuitive to what this guy wanted than I assume a lot of guys to be. In my experience, if you really want something, it's better to ask for it than to beat around the bush or hope the other person will know you well enough to get something you'd pick out for yourself. I may be a lot of things, but I'll never be the woman complaining that her husband/boyfriend bought an (unwanted) tool kit or vacuum cleaner for her birthday instead of something she wanted.

I don't think relationships are ever really 50/50, and particularly in D/s, one person will likely be making more demands than the other. I like to be the one making those demands. You don't have to like it personally or agree, but it doesn't automatically mean I'm a snotty bitch because one of my preferences is to be treated to gifts (that I like). I don't have any interest in crossdressing/feminization, but I'm not making any assumptions about a guy because that's one of his preferences.

Let's make it apples to apples, because the prom thing was a lot more than $30. As I've mentioned, I don't ask for LaPerla or super expensive gifts. I've received substantial gifts, but those have never been demanded or requested. If he had a favorite player whose jersey was $30, and he specifically asked for that shirt - as a birthday present, going to the game present, just to have present or whatever - if I bought him something, I'd buy that jersey. I wouldn't give him a generic team shirt that was $15 and say "well, this was cheaper than the jersey you wanted." If he weren't worth an extra $15 I wouldn't get him anything at all. If he were worth $15, he'd be worth and extra $15 and worth the gift of exactly what he wanted.

I have 0 interest in virtual/online relationships, so gifts wouldn't come up for me at any point in an email conversation, IM or anything else. When I meet with someone I want to know about them as a person, find out if there's chemistry and potential for more and lots of other things that don't have anything to do with their finances or being spoiled (and often not even kinks, or things I can find out by reading their profile sidebar). I enjoy being spoiled, but it's by no means the only or most important thing I'm looking for. Just don't understand why I (or anyone else) should be so embarassed about saying it's something I enjoy.

As far as gifts, I do the same all the time with friends. Would I do the same with someone I'm involved with? Sure. I prefer relationships to just playing, and within almost all of my relationships I give gifts as well as receive them. I travel pretty often, and when I'm back in the US I pick up things for my expat friends all the time. If they ask for a specific brand I try to find it, and only substitute if I can't find what they ask for. If I see something I know someone likes, I get it without them having to ask. If I want to get them something, and don't know what they'd like I ask. That's just my nature though, not sure that it has anything to do with dominance or submission. However requested or otherwise I don't give gifts based on my preferences.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
I appreciate what you did for the man you dated. I think if one initiates or reciprocates the sincerity and good will, one can expect and will likely get the same that much more. To use your example to see the other side, how would you have felt if the man you were dating demanded that you do all that you did for him?

In my experience, this issue or the objection to being used financially comes up more online than offline, and more so when one is talking about a faceless (metaphorically) and unknown person. The barriers or flags that arise online do not apply as much when one meets and likes another through an organic introduction in person, or when a familiarity has been established.

If women who demand to be spoiled see gifts as a gesture of sincerity and good will, is the same returned to the sub and, if so, how is it done? If the women who expect to be pampered think giving gifts is an act of affection and that the reward is in giving the gift itself, do they do the same?

Cheers,

Sea

Edited for typos


< Message edited by 4u2spoil -- 2/2/2009 8:04:50 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 249
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 9:36:18 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 4u2spoil
I don't think relationships are ever really 50/50, and particularly in D/s, one person will likely be making more demands than the other. I like to be the one making those demands. You don't have to like it personally or agree, but it doesn't automatically mean I'm a snotty bitch because one of my preferences is to be treated to gifts (that I like). I don't have any interest in crossdressing/feminization, but I'm not making any assumptions about a guy because that's one of his preferences.


Fair enough. I treat the matter about gifts in the same spirit as what one might do with friends, family, and romantic partners. I do not treat it in the realm of D/s and recognize that some people--dommes and subs--do. Also, the matter is different in an established relationship which is known to not critically rely on material items versus one that is beginning or seems to rely criticially on material items.

I think if you ask for something specific, it is reasonable to expect that specific item so long as the expectation is reasonable and consistent with the depth of relationship.
I will add that I were getting to know a domme and she made such a demand, I would wonder if she was testing me towards financial domination. Because financial domination is known to exist and because it is convenient to get gifts, I have had experiences where a domme I had known briefly took my gestures of gifts or compliance to a small demand (which may have been to test the waters) as a green light towards financial domination, which I resented for the reasons I give in a prior post.

Also, it is a natural tendency for each person to speak using own circumstances and experiences as context. My current situation is casual play with multiple relatively new partners (poly women with primary romantic partners) versus one I am courting towards a deeper relationship, which defines whatever depth and expectations it does at the moment. Also, I have had experiences with women who were materially focused to the point that it turned me off, which I use as a reference for some of my statements.

quote:

I enjoy being spoiled, but it's by no means the only or most important thing I'm looking for. Just don't understand why I (or anyone else) should be so embarassed about saying it's something I enjoy.

As far as gifts, I do the same all the time with friends. Would I do the same with someone I'm involved with? Sure.


There are different modes of expressing affection, of which giving gifts is one. It seems this mode is relevant for you and you receive and give affection with this mode. I think favorably of this approach. The scenarios that leave me unsure are when affection is only received but not expressed through this mode. Such a scenario leaves me to wonder whether describing receiving gifts as an act of affection is a disguise for opportunism that instead drives the want. For example, I know of one woman who liked to receive such gestures but spoke of how she offered to sell to her roommate with a hangover tablets of advil for 25 or 50 cents each and was unhappy that she had not yet paid her.

Thank you for responding to elaborate.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to 4u2spoil)
Profile   Post #: 250
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/2/2009 9:52:42 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		1) I dominate in a white blouse, blue jeans, and english riding boots. Low heel. All of which I would equally wear out to the grocery store in the winter. (That trips my boy's trigger, seeing the boots out of the bedroom. But I digress....)

2) When I joked earlier in the thread that personal baggage was to be limited to two checked pieces and one carryon, I was also referring to mental health issues. Someone proactively managing anything from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder or in recovery from drugs or alcohol, who is holding down a job (or was...thank you, Reagan, Bush, and Junior), and is basically attempting to play the cards they were dealt the very best they can.....well, that's a WHOLE different matter from the untreated alcoholic or the unmedicated bipolar.

And for those keeping score? My husband is ADHD and has PTSD. I have fibromyalgia and back, hip, ankle, and foot issues from a car wreck. The couple we play with who are switches have OCD (him) and bipolar (her). And my new slave whom I am utterly fascinated with and am quickly falling in love with? He's also bipolar. All these people are employed, all of them add to society, but we all do kink managed around our illnesses. On the one hand, I appreciate that some of you prefer to err on the side of safety. On the other, many of those with mental health issues are no worse than dating someone with a food allergy.

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to LunaVenus)
Profile   Post #: 251
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/3/2009 5:21:39 AM   
FloridaMistresse


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline 		Very Interesting topic.
Well, I would have to say that I agree there is a difference between sub and gigilo.
I would also say that there is a difference between sub, and passive, or helpless, or useless.
Many want financial independence for many healthy reasons, mostly so that those that serve are able to take care of themselves should the need arise.

I would note, that for the record, My live in slave is completely supported by Me, and very well. Some would even say she is spoiled rotten.  she does leave a very sweet life.  However, I have also had slave that spoil Me rotten. It really is not about money its about connections, how you fit with each other.
My current live in, is in school with the long term goal of having a nice career, for which she can take care of herself. W/we have a relationship. I think that is really what the OP is missing.  It should be about the relationship, not the moola.

FM~

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 252
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/3/2009 7:55:00 PM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 4u2spoil

You seem much more prone to temper tantrums and adolescent behavior than those you allude to.

Perhaps you're a settler: you ask for beef, but get chicken and settle because it's all food; you ask for black shoes and get brown shoes and settle because they're shoes. I'm not. The entire meal, I'd wonder what the beef tasted like, or looking at my shoes thinking that they aren't the right color. Especially if beef was available, but someone else decided to serve me chicken because they don't like red meat. Or black shoes were available, but someone else decided on brown because they think it looks better with my outfit. If I just say I'm hungry and someone gives me chicken, I'm happy to be eating. If someone says "black isn't available in your size, so I got brown," I'd be happy to have new shoes. I do have a problem with asking for what I want, then settling for what someone else decides is appropriate (when what I want is an option).


Yes, I very much do understand that you are not a "settler".

I've met those that won't settle many times before.

If they are lucky they find someone who will cater to them, beyond the bounds of all reality.  Of course the caterer needs to be wealthy or those that won't settle will never be happy.

If they are not lucky, they will become the crazy lady down the street who lives with twenty cats and never leaves the house. 
quote:


Not sure how this has gotten onto asking for what you want, but to not stress yourself with the "spoiled adolescents" who want what they want, may I suggest avoiding registries for weddings (where couples ask for exactly what they want) or for babies (where parents decide what they want for their children), or any other gift giving situation where people have the audacity to ask for what they want (God forbid it should be a woman in some kind of relationship asking for gifts that she wants). The nerve of some people! Having preferences and making their own decisions on what they would actually like or use.



No, I hate those too.

I believe it's rude and pretentious to demand things in the guise of being giving a gift.

The key here is your own words, "gift situation".

They are gifts.  They are not obligations to be fulfilled.

If I throw a party, whether it be my wedding, or anything else, I am having the party to celebrate with family and friends, not to be rewarded for throwing the party.

(in reply to 4u2spoil)
Profile   Post #: 253
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/3/2009 8:16:20 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Miscellaneous thoughts follow:

I had a conversation recently with a young prima donna like woman who had ended things with her boyfriend and was talking about what she expects in a relationship and why. For her, being attractive and what she does to be attractive (buying make-up, etc) entitles her to be financially pampered. In my opinion, doing what she does might raise the odds of her being financially pampered but does not entitle it--I find that attitude of entitlement odd. Also, this conversation and other observations suggest that some women see financial pampering not so much as an act of affection but as a measure of their attractiveness or femnity. To some such women, not validating them in this manner is somewhat offensive. While I can understand a bit of the basis behind the thinking (society and men contribute to this notion), I think the reason for offense taken lies more with the woman who holds this metric to be so prominent. I think this reason and the convenience of receiving material items are likely what drive most expectations for financial pampering.

Over time and via discussions of this type, I have reflected to try to identify why financial references are a flag for me. Some of it might come from the caution I adopted from my pre-internet attempts to find others via ads in fetish magazines. Some of it might come from wishing to be wise with money. I think the biggest issue comes from my ego and sense of self. I would feel that I would be disrespectful to someone if I demanded that I be compensated materially for my attention. I feel the same way at the receiving end of this sentiment. Also, as Mistress Dolly said in a related thread, exploiting men is a psychological art. The idea of allowing myself to be had also creates discomfort for me, which also reduces to an ego issue--I do not wish to be had or feel foolish for allowing myself to be had. Furthermore, I find the sentiment behind an attempt to hustle or exploit disrespectful. Thus, I am cold to scenarios I perceive to lie outside the ordinary as might be for general social  and romantic relationships.

Cheers,

Sea


You could also be cheap.


Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 254
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/4/2009 2:22:13 AM   
HardToTame


Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline 		I was waiting for someone to say that 

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 255
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/4/2009 4:52:43 AM   
4u2spoil


Posts: 211
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		For someone who is financially secure, $30 is not "beyond the bounds of all reality." Neither is going to a store, looking at a pair of underwear and getting the same style. If you are just getting by financially, and don't have money for extras I can understand why $30 could be a challenge. Excepting someone who's fallen on hard times, or has hit a temporary rough patch, I prefer not to be involved with someone in that situation.

Your cat lady logic fails for several reasons. Financially secure does not equal wealthy. If I wanted someone wealthy, I'd put that down. Actually, if money were my primary motivation I'd put down expectations of net worth, liquid assets and other things to better qualify someone as affluent. Financially secure can be a guy who makes $4,000 a month, and has $500 left over after taking care of his own expenses. Financially insecure could be a guy who makes $400,000 a month, but spends $500,000 and can't manage the $1.2 million in debt. In this instance, $48K/year man is more secure than $4.8 million man.

Also, has it ever occurred to you that the cat lady may be happier alone with her feline friends, than suffering fools who try to tell her what expectations she should or shouldn't have for her life? My success and happiness in life is not attached to finding someone to share it with. If I don't, I'd damn sure take time alone (or perhaps with a cat, dog or goldfish) over time with someone who doesn't make me happy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

Yes, I very much do understand that you are not a "settler".

I've met those that won't settle many times before.

If they are lucky they find someone who will cater to them, beyond the bounds of all reality.  Of course the caterer needs to be wealthy or those that won't settle will never be happy.

If they are not lucky, they will become the crazy lady down the street who lives with twenty cats and never leaves the house.


Finally, we get to the root of your preference.  You're cheap, and don't like other people telling you how to spend your money . To the point of not considering anyone else's preferences, even if your money is spent on them, and avoiding gift giving situations ("but Daddy, I wanted cake and ice cream." "Be happy you got a bag of cookies! Do you know how much cookies cost today?! And Happy Birthday kid, today's your day").

I'm not going to tell you that you'll end up a miserly, lonely old man with a bum wrist, because I don't know that you will.  Perhaps you'll find someone who doesn't view your tightwad preferences in the same way that I do, and you'll have a wonderful coupled life, preceded by a lovely BYOB wedding in your backyard. In my opinion, you're a selfish person who's cheap when it comes to others (maybe yourself as well, maybe not). It's not a quality I'm seeking, but if it works for you then more power to you.

Don't insult my preferences because they aren't your own and aren't what you seek.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

No, I hate those too.

I believe it's rude and pretentious to demand things in the guise of being giving a gift.

The key here is your own words, "gift situation".

They are gifts.  They are not obligations to be fulfilled.

If I throw a party, whether it be my wedding, or anything else, I am having the party to celebrate with family and friends, not to be rewarded for throwing the party.


(in reply to rulemylife)
Profile   Post #: 256
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/4/2009 5:39:02 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Dude, if you can't even be bothered helping someone out for a wedding present... you're freaking cheap. 

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to 4u2spoil)
Profile   Post #: 257
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/4/2009 5:45:43 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 4u2spoil
you'll end up a miserly, lonely old man with a bum wrist,

OMFG!!!!!

It's all that Wii bowling.  Messes with your hand something awful.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to 4u2spoil)
Profile   Post #: 258
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/4/2009 6:01:20 AM   
Goddess007


Posts: 36
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		I am out of pads and 4" of new snow are outside.  you're goddamn right I want some pampering.  Otherwise, you have some very good points

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 259
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 2/4/2009 6:57:31 AM   
4u2spoil


Posts: 211
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		"What do you mean you don't need another toaster? It's a gift! Who cares if you have 5 other toasters? You're a spoiled brat for not appreciating the thought. And no, I didn't read your stinkin' registry! Glad I could be here for your special day though. I'm happy to celebrate your happiness with you."

I'm going to take a stab in the dark as to who's busier during wedding season...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Dude, if you can't even be bothered helping someone out for a wedding present... you're freaking cheap. 

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 260
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