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RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 6:43:18 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		I am not a beggar at all and if i tried Mistress would not gag me in a New York Minute because she knows i love gags.She loves gags as well but in this case...i am sure the punishment would be severe and swift..therefore...no begging.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 6:48:19 AM   
torturedmuse


Posts: 38
Joined: 1/18/2009
Status: offline 		Honestly begging doesn't do a whole lot for me.  It feels fake and more like I am taking on a role than being myself.  I have never been one to beg for anything in this life, and it's just not my kink to start now.  Luckily M isn't that fond of having me do it..so it works out pretty well.

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 6:48:26 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

My previous Dom loved making me beg, but I felt stupid doing so unless I really wanted/didn't want the thing in question. So, he escalated it to the point where I seriously *did* want him to stop/etc.


Andalusite,

I guess that might be described as negative begging, does't do much for either side of the slash.

CP


Says who? Maybe it doesn't do much for either side of your slash, but it's the only kind of begging that doesn't ruin a scene for me. I also think you overlooked the "really wanted" part of Andalusite's post. It didn't refer only to stopping things that aren't like; it referred to a real, serious desire, one way or the other, not a manufactured role play type of begging.


(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:09:28 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

IMHO only, begging equates to whining, can't stand begging, can't stand whining.


Well, I looked up the dictionary definition and it suggests * asking humbly or solemnly for something*.  I do that.

Further definitions use other descriptors such as implore, beseech, crave, entreat....Yep, I do that too.

If I'm hanging from my ceiling, dancing around in pain from something nasty being applied to my flailing, prone body, I've been known to beg. I've been known to promise a hell of a lot at the same time....lol

So it appears that I'm a bit of a begger...oh well....lol

agirl

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:24:00 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It seems that this activity/requirement is being employed more and more by both side of the slash.
i do not refer to the rollplay type of begging but the sincere function of begging by the "s" to her/his "D" or "M".
For some on the "s" side it is a nice enhancement to their need humiliation, while others accept it as a desire on the part of their "D" or "M".

What is your take on it regardless of which side of the slash your on?

CP


I love it when it is real...can't stand it when it is not or when it is used to try and get something from me because the submissive thinks that my love of begging will win out in the end. 

When you take what agirl said:  Well, I looked up the dictionary definition and it suggests * asking humbly or solemnly for something*.  I do that.

Further definitions use other descriptors such as implore, beseech, crave, entreat....Yep, I do that too.

If I'm hanging from my ceiling, dancing around in pain from something nasty being applied to my flailing, prone body, I've been known to beg. I've been known to promise a hell of a lot at the same time....lol

So it appears that I'm a bit of a begger...oh well....lol ...
 
and put it together with what Nueva Vida said:  It depends what the begging is for.  A treat?  To go shopping?  For attention?  Totally unattractive, in my eyes, and in the eyes of the men I have been with.  Begging for an orgasm when right on the bring?  Begging to suck?  Showing a desperate hunger to please?  I've never received any negative feedback about that...
 
Begging makes perfect sense to me.  I am not quite sure why it bothers some submissives to have to beg in comparison to much of what they are expected to do but everyone has their own issues to deal with.  I would suggest before you place begging in the same category as whining though that you look up the definitions of begging and then the definitions of whining:  one can see how begging can be done in a whining way but the two ARE different.

 
 

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:56:34 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		begging is not something my Master cares for as it encourages selfish thought on the part of a submissive. after all, if it is a genuine begging (roleplay would of course be highly inappropriate and unacceptable), then you are begging for something you really and truly desire....my Master has trained me away from focusing on selfish wants/desires. so, tho i'm sure the ideal scenario must exist, i cannot imagine begging anything of my Master.

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 8:04:11 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It seems that this activity/requirement is being employed more and more by both side of the slash.
i do not refer to the rollplay type of begging but the sincere function of begging by the "s" to her/his "D" or "M".
For some on the "s" side it is a nice enhancement to their need humiliation, while others accept it as a desire on the part of their "D" or "M".

What is your take on it regardless of which side of the slash your on?

CP


For me begging can get my back up a bit. I can be engulfed in a false sense of pride. I have been known to do it but I dont do it out of enjoyment I am afraid. Sometimes it is genuine sometimes I plead and that to me doesnt matter that still has the tinge of humiliation without feeling silly. No what I dont like is when I am asked to beg, that really doesnt sit with me. Its fake and I dont like my relationships or my intimate activities to be tinged with anything that isnt real. play or scenes are so full of deep potent emotion to fake it would be to taint it somehow and that is the kind of thing that can instantly get me out of the mood. I want things to be genuine. I have begged on demand in the past and I havent enjoyed it. It is still begging for something to stop but it is staged.

There are things I would never beg for, I will ask for things and if I am told no then I dont resort to begging for much maybe some people find it attractive, I think its disrespectful. I expect honesty from my Dominant if im out in the real world and ask for example if we can eat out and he says no I would hope that he means no. I cant be doing with playing. If he doesnt mean no then how am I ever going to know what he means? And how often can I push things?


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(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 8:17:38 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline 		I almost never beg, but did have an encounter recently where I did beg, and it has changed my thinking process on the issue.

I'd come and yet he still kept the hitachi on me, and what poured out of my mouth was a stream of "Oh God, please stop, please please stop". It was strange, because in the back of my mind I was thinking "You know that's not going to make him stop. You know your safeword. Why are you saying this?" A few seconds later, in a pause between the shrieking and pleading, it occured to me - I didn't really WANT him to stop, despite the words that were quite literally unconsciencely coming out of my lips. I don't think I could have stopped begging him to stop if I'd wanted to at that point.

I did eventually safeword out, (reached the point where it was no longer fun) but it gave me a new appreciation for the term "begging" and for where the mind/verbal connection goes when under alot of stimulation.

< Message edited by T1981 -- 2/2/2009 8:18:28 AM >

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(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 8:28:14 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I don't inherently see begging as humiliating.  I would propose that it is evocative of humility and deference when it is initially and minimally employed; an acknowledgment of station.  A plea made then granted; an act with the feel of formality.  The hotness factor, in this instance, is, imo, the appeal of the formal acknowledgment of dominion, a well-made request, the reward of the request being granted; it shows and acknowledges each party's role and the role well-done; a synergy. 
Now, begging to a more substantive degree and without a well-made plea being granted does not strike me as appealing.  It strikes me as degrading, denigrating.  It's more of an empty power-play and suggests cruelty, imo. 
  Davan

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(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 9:09:40 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrinc
I guess that might be described as negative begging, does't do much for either side of the slash.

Celtic Prince,
It did a *lot* for him. I wasn't really a fan, but he did stay within my limits. He felt that if I *enjoyed* what he was doing, I wasn't submitting to it. He also really liked pushing me to the point of yellow-type safewording out, begging for it to stop, or tapping out if what he was doing prevented me from speaking, over and over again within the same scene.

T1981, I also had a very difficult time at first, begging. My style in BDSM has typically been very non-verbal, and I wanted "yummy good pain" - if I wanted/needed it to stop, I really *DID* want them to cut it out and do something else, and was likely to yellow safe out if they continued. At first, my previous Dom mostly just wanted to hear me beg, but we found I couldn't do it unless he made it uncomfortable enough for me to *REALLY* sincerely want him to stop, but not quite to the point where I was ready to red-type-safe out of it.

He also liked having me do the verbal equivalent of predicament bondage - give me two things I didn't like/couldn't take, at least at the level I was doing them, and do one of them to me until I begged for the other to get a break from the first, and go back and forth until I was barely coherent/understandable.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 9:44:26 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's a valid way of establishing consent, if nothing else, without having to like get all legalistic about it - it makes the consent part of the play which makes it a good out for ambiance freaks, i.e. those who feel the whole consent process interferes with the dynamic.

I would conceive of it as distinct from wheedling, which is what kids do.

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 1:08:22 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

What is your take on it regardless of which side of the slash your on?

CP


Its hot when it's genuine... boring when it's not!



Knight,

I could not have said it better myself!

CP 

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 6:15:28 PM   
MsEmpwr2


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Status: offline 		dreamerdreaming,
There is no better way to state it in My eyes.
Thank you!

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 6:20:21 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		hardbodysub, that is precisely it for me. Begging for something I didn't actually want, or begging for him to stop when I was enjoying it, would have felt dishonest, as well as unrealistic. For that matter, when I was a Domme, I didn't want my sub to beg for me to do or stop things unless he actually meant it. I don't have any objection with other people role-playing if that floats their boat, but it's not something I particularly find appealing or would seek out.

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 6:28:59 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		For me begging is a very negative thing and when I first read the thread, my first response was 'there is no blippin' way I will ever beg again'.  I say that though because in the past even though I was required to beg, it really didn't matter.  I guess I needed it to matter.  As a result, begging is now a hard limit and I simply will not do it. 

< Message edited by angelic -- 2/2/2009 6:29:59 PM >

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(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:07:45 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I love begging. For me, it isn't about humiliation - it's a raw and near-involuntary expression of utter powerlessness and overwhelming desire. Being in that state, that subby headspace, is just so powerful.

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:10:25 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It seems that this activity/requirement is being employed more and more by both side of the slash.
i do not refer to the rollplay type of begging but the sincere function of begging by the "s" to her/his "D" or "M".
For some on the "s" side it is a nice enhancement to their need humiliation, while others accept it as a desire on the part of their "D" or "M".

What is your take on it regardless of which side of the slash your on?

CP



I hate begging. It always seems like I'm acting and I'm a lousy actress. I do much better when I tell him exactly what's on my mind.

_____________________________



(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:12:05 PM   
LunaVenus


Posts: 161
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline 		No I can't stand begging.. If someone starts begging that is when I will stuff them in a cage,lock it and leave them there for several hours at least.


There are few things more annoying to me than begging and I must distance myself from it totally.....Not cute at all.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:12:33 PM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

I love begging. For me, it isn't about humiliation - it's a raw and near-involuntary expression of utter powerlessness and overwhelming desire. Being in that state, that subby headspace, is just so powerful.


That's actually a really good way of explaining what happened that night with the begging that I did...thank you!

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(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The "begging" Question - 2/2/2009 7:34:13 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

It depends what the begging is for.  A treat?  To go shopping?  For attention?  Totally unattractive, in my eyes, and in the eyes of the men I have been with.  Begging for an orgasm when right on the bring?  Begging to suck?  Showing a desperate hunger to please?  I've never received any negative feedback about that.


Exactly. Of course the former is unpleasant, but the latter? I don't understand why any Dom/me would object to their sub begging in that context. Good thing I'm with a Dom that enjoys hearing me beg to be allowed to please/come/whatever, because I doubt I could stop myself if I tried, lol.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 60
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