Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Submission???


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Submission??? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Submission??? - 1/13/2006 2:31:56 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 2:36:52 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Have we not covered this?
Submission is a gift.
LOL
(you know I'm joking, right?)

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 2:53:41 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline
Does a submissive earn submission?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists
===============================

in WHAT context?
sex?
play?
service?
other?


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 2:54:26 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Does a submissive earn submission?


Depend's upon the situation

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 2:55:49 PM   
servingwench80


Posts: 206
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		I'll admit, I have no idea what you mean by this *L*

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 2:57:45 PM   
wetsub000


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting question. Without giving it too much thought ... not perhaps in the same way that most people mean when they talk of Dominants earning trust, after all it's generally the submissive who is putting herself in the most vulnerable position. However, if you look at in the way a relationship progresses, then yes - as trust builds between the two people then the D/s goes deeper and you could say that the submissive has earnt the right to submit more deeply, just as the Dominant has earnt the right to be trusted with more control.

I remember my first D/s relationship and in my eagerness being told by the Dom that I had to learn patience and to take things slowly. It wasn't easy for me, I wanted it all right there and then.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 3:46:49 PM   
IceyOne


Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		Does a submissive earn submission?

Interesting question. My first impulse was to say no, but after thinking about it for a minute, I realized that there may be something to the question that went a bit deeper. Submission, in itself, does not come easy. Trusting in your partner helps smooth the path a bit, but more importantly is the trust that you, as the submissive, must have in yourself. Personally, I believe that finding that trust in yourself is a lot harder than placing your trust in another. It takes time to search out, face, understand, and accept that part of yourself enough so that you can trust it. So, I am going to say yes, even a submissive must earn submission within themselves.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 3:59:27 PM   
redheadedfire4u


Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline 		Always such a pleasure to have my mind thrown into disarray by one of Your posts, thx again KoM lol

Does a submissive earn submission?

Now that makes the thought processes whirl lol

I am inclined to say yes.

From the point of view of someone reasonably new to L/s, yes earn seems appropriate.

As you learn and grow, as you accept knowledge about yourself and your place in the relationship, you also earn a deeper sense of who you are and what you want and what He wants so in a way you are earning your submission.

Just my first knee jerk reaction to the question,

warm smiles to all




_____________________________

Driver1961's girl "wild child" and loving sister to His angel

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:09:44 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?

I'm with the people who don't understand the question well enough to address it.

That said, one of the things I tune into KoM's threads for is the variety of responses to his clearly pre-meditated use of the ambiguous question. If anybody sees Socrates, please tell him his lessons have not been entirely wasted on a certain latter-day Knight.

Anyway he seems more Socratic than Psychoanalytic to me but I'm not here to ask him to tip his cards. And since the only enduring benefit of philosophical activity is therapeutic anyway, why not both at once?

For some flavors of submissive I'll bet this guy is one ass-kicking dominant.

You go, dawg.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:21:01 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?

I'm with the people who don't understand the question well enough to address it.

That said, one of the things I tune into KoM's threads for is the variety of responses to his clearly pre-meditated use of the ambiguous question. If anybody sees Socrates, please tell him his lessons have not been entirely wasted on a certain latter-day Knight.

Anyway he seems more Socratic than Psychoanalytic to me but I'm not here to ask him to tip his cards. And since the only enduring benefit of philosophical activity is therapeutic anyway, why not both at once?

For some flavors of submissive I'll bet this guy is one ass-kicking dominant.

You go, dawg.



LOL... speaking from one of his slaves who gets her ass kicked regularly, he is rather good at it.

I have learned not to try and figure out why he does what he does or asks the things that he asks. I have learned just to enjoy the benefits of going along for the ride, and it can be such a fun ride, full of surprises... like slave kicking back *g*


Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:21:48 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?


I view my position with my owner as an earned position (as well as a privilege). There are also particular things I get within my relationship that are definitely earned privileges as well.

But in terms of submission, if I'm inspired then its just going to happen regardless. That doesn't mean that I have any particular position with the person, just that my natural impetus with that particular person is to react and act in a particular way. But frankly I can count on one hand with fingers left over the number of people who have inspired me to submit, so its not remotely a regular occurance for me.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:24:47 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Does a submissive earn submission?



A short answer.... I earn the privilege to be yours everyday by making the choice to submit to your will, my Lord.

kyra

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 1/13/2006 4:25:27 PM >

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:28:41 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		If, by your question, you are asking: does a submissive have to earn the right to serve?

Yes, especially if they are looking to serve long term.

Fire


_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:32:56 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?



A submissive earns the right to share their gift with Me, as I earn the right to Dominate them--smiles

chemistry and the dynamic.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:33:27 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?


I'm going to take submission here as part of a relationship dynamic -- you submit to someone or are in submission to someone.

To me, yes, a person has to earn or prove their trustworthyness, interest, and compatiblity to me in order to have a recognized position as submissive to me.

Someone may attempt to give me said "gift of submission" but if I walk away and refuse the gift, it isn't submission merely an attempt to establish such.

Is this what you were getting at, KnightofMists?


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:40:22 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wetsub000

Interesting question. Without giving it too much thought ... not perhaps in the same way that most people mean when they talk of Dominants earning trust, after all it's generally the submissive who is putting herself in the most vulnerable position. However, if you look at in the way a relationship progresses, then yes - as trust builds between the two people then the D/s goes deeper and you could say that the submissive has earnt the right to submit more deeply, just as the Dominant has earnt the right to be trusted with more control.

I remember my first D/s relationship and in my eagerness being told by the Dom that I had to learn patience and to take things slowly. It wasn't easy for me, I wanted it all right there and then.


Oh yes, this is so true. To me anyways. Maybe not to all. So yes, I would have to say that a submissive has to earn to submit as well.

(in reply to wetsub000)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 4:48:57 PM   
servingwench80


Posts: 206
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		Some people I think are using "earn submission" in a way that just doesn't seem right to me. If you go deeper in your submission, I don't see that as "earning" so much as "growing." It just makes me feel like they are twisting the thought around in order to be able to say "yes" to the question. I guess you could say that you're earning that submission in the same way that you earn your skill as a musician, or your knowledge as a scientist. It takes work to get there, and you earn what you get.

But "earn" to me implies that you are earning something from someone else, not yourself. In that, I don't think you really "earn" your submission. It is within yourself, someone else doesn't give you your submission. They may help you grow in it, but it is yours.

As someone else said though, I think you do earn the right to submit. The same as a Dom earns the right to dominate a sub. A Dom can't just expect any sub he walks up to to submit to them. And a sub can't expect any Dom they walk up to, to dominate them. It seems a little odd to think of it from that side, but it's true.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 5:48:39 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Does a submissive earn submission?


I can't say that I earned submission any more than I earned femaleness. I was born that way and it's part of the hard-wiring.

Celeste

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 6:02:04 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Does a submissive earn submission?


I have to say no. The dynamic that develops between Dominant and submissive is circular. There is a cause and effect. The relationship deepens as trust is developed between the parties. While I may, through my actions and the sharing of myself, earn a place in someone's life(as do they earn a place in mine by similar means).....my submission merely "is". It becomes more obvious with the passage of time and shared experiences. The more trust that is established, the more comfortable I am, the more free I feel to be myself...the depth of my submission follows in suit. The more I yield, the more the Dominant feeds off of it....the more trust and comfort is established....the more I open myself.....a circle.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 1/13/2006 6:04:04 PM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submission??? - 1/13/2006 8:36:21 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am curious on peoples perspective on this question.

Does a submissive earn submission?


I am with those who don't understand the question. Can you clarify what you're asking?

Smythe



_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Submission??? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078