rednicky
Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
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Well I'm glad I prepared myself for some of the negative responses I've received. I'm only lucky that I wasn't holding a gun up to my head while writing this. Yea, it's nice to see that when someone pours their heart out, there are always people around to laugh or make judgmental comments without even reading the entire post. That's support and understanding for you.
As it is, I suppose straightening a few things out is in order. This was a rant. Not a Vendetta against every kind of person who's made my life that much harder. I may be bitter but I am also aware of what is right and wrong.
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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
One thing you might consider, though, is that sometimes you might be interpreting something as disrespectful or demeaning when it really isn't, because you're somewhat obsessed with it emotionally. For example, the woman may have refused to put extra mayonnaise on the sandwich because she really has no idea how much extra to put on, and doesn't want to screw it up. Maybe she knows one way to do it, and feels that if someone likes it differently, they'll do a better job themselves than she would. I'm not saying that that's what was going on, but just that it might be a good idea to step back from the situation and consider alternative interpretations, even if they seem unlikely at first.
This isn't the first time she's served me my food. I go in almost everyday. The people know my face by heart. She just chose today to say 'no'. The fact that such a thing would come out of someone's mouth who's job is to make the customer happy is perplexing. It's goddamn mayo. But it was what I wanted. I already have a mother. I don't need two.
And a few people have said "You're going to get older and are going to love looking so young." Am I now? Even if I look 20 at age 45, it's not going to do me any good NOW. I'm at the prime of my life (college) where I have maintained some independence but still have my parents looking out for me just in case. I'm at that sweet sweet point in life where I am supposed to have fun and not worry about a 9 to 5 job or bills. But when does the fun kick in for me? I want to act young and BE young. I want to go to clubs without being upstaged by my over-developed friends (who invented big breasts anyway?). I want to experience Spring break without being mistaken for a child. I want to have the fun the young people are suppose to have 'now'. I'm supposed to be sneaking into 21+ clubs or flirting with guys at clubs and parties. But I couldn't sneak into a 21+ club even if I wanted to. And guys don't even see me because I'm not developed enough to appeal to men my age. The men I DO happen to attract are creepy older gentlemen who try to lure me into the back of their van with candy. One guy actually did try to lure me in his car with (dare I say it?) glitter nail polish. I'm trying to have the fun I 'should' be having but I can't because of the way I look. And by the time I do look sexually appealing, I'll be too old to actually participate in these things. I'm not going to go Spring Breaking when I'm 32 nor do I want to be hit on by men who are 10 years younger than I am. I want to have fun with young guys WHILE I'm young. But they treat me like I don't belong.
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ORIGINAL: jakelogan01
if it gives you any comfort, single women with college degrees already make more than single males with the same level of education for the same jobs. and a higher percentage of women go to college than men, so the gender reversal is already happening. please go to college (if you are not) and become a part of it
as for slavery and color...if all you look at is the last 200 years in the us, things look very different than if you look at the whole world with a longer historical perspective. slavery has been commonly accepted among all races for thousands of years. white slaves were common in africa in the middle ages, for example, and repulsion to slavery only took hold in the 1500s, although the us was a latecomer to that. in any event, slavery was wrong, another wrong wouldn't make it right
Yea I'd like to see an article supporting this. I really would. Because it would definitely make me feel better about my circumstances.
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ORIGINAL: colouredin
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ORIGINAL: jakelogan01
if it gives you any comfort, single women with college degrees already make more than single males with the same level of education for the same jobs. and a higher percentage of women go to college than men, so the gender reversal is already happening. please go to college (if you are not) and become a part of it
Wow dude I would totally love sources that prove that there 'fact' because im pretty sure that its bollocks (that is unless it changed in the last year since I looked at male-female wage structrue)
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(that is unless it changed in the last year since I looked at male-female wage structrue)
Looks like someone beat me to the punch.
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ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1
Wow. I can't believe what I just read. That you would enslave every white person.
If you are as you claim to be, educated, you should know that in every time and place every race has been enslaved at some point. Even now we are experiencing a time of "white slavery". Don't know what that is? Perhaps you should find out.
Africans have enslaved and enslaved for centuries. Egyptians enslaved many different races. Perhaps we should have open season on Egyptians. Romans owned slaves. Any italians out there want to be killed because your ancestors were a-holes?
And the one I like most: whites and blacks line up and get out, because America is MY country. That's right, I'm part Native American, so everyone line up and go back where you came from!!!
Instead of being bitter, you should spend a little more time finding out what you're bitter about.
And here we go. Someone who took what I said completely out of context. Yes, I did say that it would be gratifying. And I also said that I knew that feeling this way was wrong. Who "isn't" part native American? "I'm" part native American. Those people really got the short end of the stick there. Being raped, relocated, and virtually wiped out and all. But anyways, you say all this as if I said I was right in feeling the way I do. I know the way I feel is wrong. Hell, I even admitted it. Every race has a few skeletons in their closet. It's my rant though. I'm allowed to be a bit biased. I'm venting, not starting a movement.
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ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly
I agree...this's one of the whinier threads lol however, just because you have a baby face and a baby voice doesn't mean you are doomed and that people will treat you like a kid. It's probably your attitude and/or the way you dress.
I'm curious if you avoid caucasian people then in general or if you have caucasian friends...because if you do have caucasian friends then you become kind of a hypocrite (not that you aren't one since you have a white dominant....)
Oh here we go. it's gotta be me. I'm probably dressing a certain way or have a child-like attitude. There is just no way that I'm legitimately being treated this way via circumstances outside of my own power. To answer your question, No I do not have white friends. I am around white people a lot because I go to a Dominantly white school. I couldn't avoid them even if I wanted to.
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ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1
Oh, and about the "young" thing. I was 30 and IDd to buy a lottery ticket. An F-ING lottery ticket. Trust me, it does get better, but when you're old and you finally LOOK old, it's not much of a reward.
Edited to add: And I can't tell you how many times I went into a bar and was told I didn't have a real driver's license because that couldn't possibly be my age, or I had borrowed someone's because I was not who I said I was.
And I'll never forget going out with my ex who is 6 years younger than me, and being carded to buy a drink. I didn't have it with me, and so he bought the drink for me. He wasn't carded.
Well it's nice that you've actually had an ex to experience this with. Ask me how many times a man in real life who wasn't a pedophile has actually taken interest in me.
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ORIGINAL: T1981
The part about settling for men who want a father/daughter relationship because you feel that's all you're good for is especially unsettling.
I don't settle. And not once did I use that word. Even if I looked my age or older, I'd still want a father/daughter relationship. It's my 'fetish'. The fact that I want while looking the way I do just doesn't help. I just wish the world gave me the opportunity to choose to submit rather than dominating me automatically. Kind of sucks the fun out of being a submissive, ya know?
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ORIGINAL: Opalescence
It seems as if you're grasping at straws and trying to find something to complain about more than anything. But, I'll give you advice the best way I know how.
Two wrongs have never made a right. Enslaving white people and making men the weaker sex won't help your feelings. Analyze them and see where they start, if you have this much anger, it's coming from somewhere.
You're a woman of color, I don't care. Stop trying to use it as a 'pity me' card and maybe people would respect you more.
You've owned the issues you face now, fix them. Being angry over looking so young seems silly and an incredible waste of energy. Do something far more productive with your life than wasting it stressing over how young you look.
...to find something to complain about...is that right? Two wrongs never make a right...as if I'm trying to be right. I'm trying to get even (de ja vu anyone?). The pity me card. Nice. I'm just making this all up. The fact that everywhere I turn, it's always white white white, isn't fact at all. Tell me, can you name 1 show (just 1) where the main character is a black female, the majority of the cast is white, the show itself is NOT about race, and it is not being peddled specifically toward the black audience (i.e BET and other garbage like that...). I'm talking about a show where the director said "hmm let's make the main character black. Ya know, just for the hell of it." You might say "Oh that's just TV." They don't just pull this stuff out of the sky sweetie. Where do you think they get it from?
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ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest, and you managed that OP. I do hope it brought some relief.
You seem to be more angry at no one taking you seriously. I will approach that first. Let's see I am 57, almost 58 in April, and I get people asking me, did you have a face lift? How do you look so young? It is part of my gens and at my age, I guess it is okay. I don't do face lifts etc. I didnt stop getting carded to mid- thirties.
I learned in my 20's how to get people attention. I was married to a brain, who everyone waited to hear what he had to say. Being 15 yrs his junior, I ran into my opinion was not worth anything compare to his with people. Late hubby taught me to pick my arguments wisely and to not whine. He also taught me to not shout, but speak in my natural tone. People tend to listen to me through his help, but interesting thing, I do not care anymore if they listen or not.
I do not do a lot of small talk. It is not something that interests me. I do not try to out beat a person who thinks they know it all. Normally those who have to impress others stick their foot in their mouth eventually. I can only offer my knowledge and experience in areas I know. I am not selling anything, so there is nothing to buy from me. I am just me, and some people like me and some dont.
I was one of the beginning feminist in the 60's. I honor feminist and I honor my right to be submissive. We do better with a choice.
I use to hate men by the way. After being raped 5 different times, that would be understandable. But hate almost killed me, and I will never give my past that power again. Only my present time has power in my life. My past experiences offers me guidance when needed, but today is where I make a difference or don't.
Best of luck
oceanwynds
I had to quote this because I love what you said here and it makes me feel better. I haven't quoted a lot of posts because they provide legitimately good advice. Nothing more I can say about it other than "You're right." But something about this post irks me so much that I just can't ignore it. Oceanwynds, you look your age. I don't know what these 'other people' are talking about.
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ORIGINAL: lateralist1
Just because you look like a kid doesn't mean you have to act like one.You know how to act you just find it too difficult. Feminism is not easy. Neither is being dominant or being submissive. You can make the right choices for you or you can continue to duck and dive. It's very lonely making the right choices in life. Even harder when you start out disadvantaged but it is in your hands. Oh and by the way not all white male submissives want to be tortured. There are one or two who are actually looking for a dominant woman in their lives. My advice grow up and become the dominant feminist woman that you have the potential to be. But of course in the end it's your choice.
I don't act like a kid in real life. Only here and only for a soon-to-be Dom because I want a father/daughter relationship. Doesn't make much sense to act like a kid in real life because most men don't understand this kind of lifestyle anyway. I dress my age (although I've been compared to "little sister in big sister's clothing"). The only difference between the rest of the women my age and myself is that they went through puberty and got titties and asses and I got...cramps.
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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Hmmmmmmmmmmm....people treat you unfairly because you are a young-looking black woman. All people do this to you? Even your white dominant?
So...because a few people are jerks, let's make rules to enslave all people...but would it be all people? Or just white people? And would it be all white people or just white men...except your dominant, of course.
All white people...just to make me feel better.
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ORIGINAL: MadameMarque
First, let me say that you've mis-entitled this thread. A feminist is just a person who believes that females are people. Any female would be a self-diminishing fool not to be a feminist, and because we're raised in a deeply sexist culture, many of us are. Don't go encouraging the misconception that anger, bitterness, and an appetite for vengeance are somehow the description of a feminist.
That said,...
When you feel more powerful, more confident, yourself, these attitudes from others will not have the same emotional effect on you. I don't care if you look like Hello, Kitty in an Easter Parade, if you feel centered and know your power, know that no one else's opinion can rob you of it, then it will show. Other people will read it in you.
For specific incidence of poor service, these are often the most easily handled. Look up the contact information for the regional manager of Hallmark, and let him or her know that you will not be making any more "expensive purchases" at Hallmark stores, and you'd like Hallmark to know why. Don't make your complaints to management angry and bitter; they can understand, if you matter-of-factly tell them that you appear young for your age, but you do not feel this is a good reason for treating you with disrespect. Tell them that you were made to feel "uncomfortable." Be sure to include *your* contact information, because they're going to be getting back to you.
The second time the woman in the deli refuses your request, smile and ask if you may speak to her manager. She will of course want you to move out of the line for that, but no, you'd like your order finished, first. If she won't put the mayonnaise on your sandwich and you won't move until either she does, or you see the manager - whichever comes first - I think something different will happen. The manager of that place is interested in making money, not in their employees refusing to serve the customers.
Develope an expression, only to be used when appropriate, that says, "Oh, really?" Not enraged or frustrated, but a calm, "perhaps I misunderstood you" expression - one that will make someone's patronizing smile suddenly fade, as they look at you anew.
If you feel angry at someone for making you feel disempowered, a good way to reign yourself in is to remember that if they see they've gotten you all emotional, they'll feel their power over you. Remembering that ought to make you calm right down.
I wish the best to you.
And what you say makes so much sense, it's a wonder that I hadn't done it on my own. I guess I didn't want to be pegged as a bad guy. I talk to these women all the time. I don't just order and so forth. We have conversations. We talk about our day. I know them by name. We may not be friends but we are pretty good acquaintances and for me to say "Kiesha get me your manager" and put her job on the line...I suppose I have no choice if I want the respect I so desire. I guess I just wanted to avoid the strained atmosphere it would cause.
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ORIGINAL: DVsFox
So, in essence, you want feminists to become the very sort of thing they've been fighting against for so long? That's not any kind of evolution.
It's not "getting even" at all. It's just a useless revenge fantasy.
Though, I do hope it got all of those feelings off of your chest. Venting is helpful.
DV's Fox
I'm not looking to evolve. Like I said, I'm looking to get even. Not promote equality. This is a rant. Just like some people rant about how they hate smokers so much that they want to just kick them, I'm ranting about how I want things done as well. But it's not like I'm passing out fliers outside and recruiting women of color to join some sort of revenge cult. I'm just venting. It IS a revenge FANTASY. At least you acknowledged that I was indeed venting and didn't laugh at me for feeling the way that I do (which is more than I can say for some people).
I suppose that's it. Thank you to all of those who made fun of me, judged me, laughed at me, and called what I wrote "whining". I'll remember you all in my suicide note. No I'm just kidding. But seriously, someone is reaching out for a little understanding...and you laugh. Hmm should I slit my wrists or hang myself?
_____________________________
Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...
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RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant ... - 
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