RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (Full Version)

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CreativeDominant -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 7:05:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

rednicky:

I'm not sure where the deep resentment that you feel towards whites and men springs from, so I don't really feel like I can suggest anything in that area. 


Well, insofar as she's referring to whites, I know where it "springs from."

And, if I was a woman, I'm sure I'd know where the sentiment towards men "springs from," also.

You don't need therapy for THAT!

You MAY need some if you don't have a clue where it "springs from."


Another victim?  From the dominant side?




LaTigresse -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 7:26:04 AM)

CD, it is an ongoing saga and a futile discussion.




CreativeDominant -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 7:28:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

CD, it is an ongoing saga and a futile discussion.


So true, LaT...sadly true.




Lockit -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 7:37:49 AM)

In a world of wrongs... because it is wrong... does that mean we have no personal accountablity and can blame the world for being angry, wounded, self focused and just all round pissy becasue the world doesn't work the way we want it to and find justification for victimization and feelings of revenge ten-fold?  Great excuses aren't reasons to give up personal accountablity or honor.  If you have a problem with most the world... prove they are wrong by being a better person and just say fuck'um... move on and have a great life.  A pity party and excusing/blaming everyone but yourself will get you no where of worth. 




SultryItalian -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 8:06:49 AM)

You know, I like looking a few years younger than I really am. When people ask me how old I am, I gladly reply my age and even more so enjoy the look of disbelief on their faces.

Since I was a young teen, people thought my mom was my older sister, and she also has always enjoyed looking much younger than she really is. Granted, she's also had a struggle with being respected as an adult, even when she had two of her own ums, was on her second marriage, was step-mom to an additional 3 ums when she was in her mid-20s, and owned her own business. She used that to make herself a strong, independent woman. Even in her 40's my mom still relishes in her youthful looks. My mom is a gorgeous, strong woman, and I am proud to be her daughter.

Being mostly of Italian decent, is it my place to apologize for an entire race of ancient people? No. I cannot apologize for what I personally did not do. I am also of Sicilian decent. Am I to beat myself up because I am part Italian? No. Maybe I would if I were into self-bondage. If you want to go even further back, I am part Moor. You see how silly it would be for a person in this modern age to apologize for something they had nothing to do with? What happened in the past cannot be undone. We as humans must learn from the past and move forward. The human race isn't going to make progress if we keep going in circles.




UPSG -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 6:05:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

In a world of wrongs... because it is wrong... does that mean we have no personal accountablity and can blame the world for being angry, wounded, self focused and just all round pissy becasue the world doesn't work the way we want it to and find justification for victimization and feelings of revenge ten-fold?  Great excuses aren't reasons to give up personal accountablity or honor.  If you have a problem with most the world... prove they are wrong by being a better person and just say fuck'um... move on and have a great life.  A pity party and excusing/blaming everyone but yourself will get you no where of worth. 


Worked for the 1/3 of colonists (terrorists against the British crown) that fought in the American Revolutionary War and those that gave birth to the Declaration of Independence.

Worked for pissed off ex-confederate soldiers that turned bank robbers and horse thieves.




catize -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 6:59:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

CD, it is an ongoing saga and a futile discussion.


So true, LaT...sadly true.


Wrongs can’t be undone.
 
And to the OP, I would quote The Eagles; “find your inner child and kick its little ass---Get Over It!”




SingleRarity -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/6/2009 7:14:13 PM)

A few weeks after graduating college at the ripe old age of twenty-one, my mother took me shopping for some new clothes.  I was moving off to California, and really needed a few good bras.  Now as my mother was paying for my purchase in Dillard's, the sales women asked "What a wonderful mother you have, buying you these gifts."  "Yes, they are another graduation gift" I answered back.  She smiled politely and said the following, "Well congratulations, it isn't everyday a girl graduates eighth grade.  Where are you going to high school?"  I shit you not.  At twenty-one, I passed for thirteen.  It was awesome.  In college, I could buy kid's movie tickets, order from children's menus, and the best part was that I was cast in a ton of my Universitys' student films playing a teen or pre-teen.  Unlike you, my looks never hindered me the way you describe.  I was always taken seriously by professors and friends.  I was given a prestigious T.A. position, and dated lots of "non-creepy" guys.  I know you were upset when you posted your rant, but honestly, your responses to critisism, have made you come off as extremely immature.  Perhaps it's your behavior and not your looks alone.  I'm sorry.  I really don't want to hurt your feelings, but dude, you were whining big time.

I know flashing ID to get into a rated R movie may seem annoying, but embrace it.  Youth is fleeting, and you should enjoy it while you have it. 

Daddy's Ballerina, e (Who last week had her age guessed at nineteen years old!)






Lockit -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 7:38:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

In a world of wrongs... because it is wrong... does that mean we have no personal accountablity and can blame the world for being angry, wounded, self focused and just all round pissy becasue the world doesn't work the way we want it to and find justification for victimization and feelings of revenge ten-fold?  Great excuses aren't reasons to give up personal accountablity or honor.  If you have a problem with most the world... prove they are wrong by being a better person and just say fuck'um... move on and have a great life.  A pity party and excusing/blaming everyone but yourself will get you no where of worth. 


Worked for the 1/3 of colonists (terrorists against the British crown) that fought in the American Revolutionary War and those that gave birth to the Declaration of Independence.

Worked for pissed off ex-confederate soldiers that turned bank robbers and horse thieves.



I know very well that you will attempt to give me a history lesson from your previous, educated post, but you know... I dare say you cannot compare the two.  THEY cared about a majority being currently treated badly, not one pissed off girl who is pissed off over some things that happenend long ago... and that she looks young and who wants to seek revenge, not the righting of wrongs.  History is one thing, personal choice to be mad at the world another.  You cannot argue or mix up the two and if one chooses to be upset, rather than happy... good for them... you can see here how well that works.  I see no cause that benefits man and country.  I only see a young person, pissed off and with charatoristic's that will not change the world or even her world in a good way.

Now... this young woman speaks of revenge upon people and isn't happy in her life...I dare say she isn't having decent and healthy relationships... which would be something one could not say about the relationships these people in history could not be accused of.  Many had wonderful relationships from the studies I have done, including my own family... who brought about the discrimination and hardships of many... but who also did a lot of right and had wonderful relationships... according to family history and some history books.

You compare things that cannot be compared.  So save your history lesson for me... I won't read it.




UPSG -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 9:34:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

In a world of wrongs... because it is wrong... does that mean we have no personal accountablity and can blame the world for being angry, wounded, self focused and just all round pissy becasue the world doesn't work the way we want it to and find justification for victimization and feelings of revenge ten-fold?  Great excuses aren't reasons to give up personal accountablity or honor.  If you have a problem with most the world... prove they are wrong by being a better person and just say fuck'um... move on and have a great life.  A pity party and excusing/blaming everyone but yourself will get you no where of worth. 


Worked for the 1/3 of colonists (terrorists against the British crown) that fought in the American Revolutionary War and those that gave birth to the Declaration of Independence.

Worked for pissed off ex-confederate soldiers that turned bank robbers and horse thieves.



I know very well that you will attempt to give me a history lesson from your previous, educated post, but you know... I dare say you cannot compare the two.  THEY cared about a majority being currently treated badly, not one pissed off girl who is pissed off over some things that happenend long ago... and that she looks young and who wants to seek revenge, not the righting of wrongs.  History is one thing, personal choice to be mad at the world another.  You cannot argue or mix up the two and if one chooses to be upset, rather than happy... good for them... you can see here how well that works.  I see no cause that benefits man and country.  I only see a young person, pissed off and with charatoristic's that will not change the world or even her world in a good way.

Now... this young woman speaks of revenge upon people and isn't happy in her life...I dare say she isn't having decent and healthy relationships... which would be something one could not say about the relationships these people in history could not be accused of.  Many had wonderful relationships from the studies I have done, including my own family... who brought about the discrimination and hardships of many... but who also did a lot of right and had wonderful relationships... according to family history and some history books.

You compare things that cannot be compared.  So save your history lesson for me... I won't read it.


I wasn't attacking you, I was simply pointing out some significant social facts that were not only historical but that have consequently effected generations of Americans. I the case of the ex-confederate soldier become outlaw, he has survived as a romantic cowboy tale to this day.

Generally - and this is not just the U.S. but all over the world - those that fit into dominant group tend to encourage the disenfranchised to either accept their position in life or to forgive. The powerful never forgive however e.g. U.S. response to 9/11.

The 1/3 of colonial terrorist that treasonably fought against her lawful British crown, were not fighting for the majority being treated badly. They were largely fighting for a merchant class in the colonies and not poor Whites who sold their labor (wage earners). Supposedly, 1/3 of the Whites colonists were pro-British crown and the other 1/3 were neutral. Essentially a minority fought for a minorities benefits. The merchant class did not want their financial state - their abilities for ever increasing profits - to be dictated by British policy that, needless to say, was unfavorable to both the merchant colonial class and the overall economic growth within the colonies.

What does this have to do with any thing? Well, while colllege is fine (though it is an overpriced industry today in the U.S. that at times actually stifles critical and probing thought), in my opinion, and this is just my opinion, what is greater or more beneficial is to develop a life of reading. If the OP's erudition was greater (and we have something wonderful in this country called the free public library system) she would probably be able to better come grip with her emotional feelings for revenge on males and Whites. How so? In my opinon she would number one, come to discover that many of the powerful in Black-African tribes and empires were complicit in the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade and few  within Black-Africa tried to end the industry of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade (Where was there a comparable William Wilberforce in Black Africa?). Number two, she over time would come to learn more and more about the roots of power.

Let me make a few points for food for thought.

1. Margaret Sanger (I may have spelled her name wrong) was both a feminist and a racist. She understood like all people that understand the historical roots of power across the world, that all powerful nations or empires relied upon large numbers of people (it is not coincedental that the United States is the third largest populated nation on earth)

2. War requires an industrial base too and not just people - at least wars of expansion. States and cities can be viewed as micro states, and given that, metropoliatan Milwaukee with roughly a million people and a stronger industrial base than Alaska, would likely win in a war against the entire state of Alaska.

3. The police force (a job that was once done by militay troops e.g. ancient Rome in Palestine, and still that is done in some nations today e.g. Brazil, Italy etc.) is a paramilitary organization outfited with military grade weaponry including light-armored vehicals. The rank structure in the police force is even that of a military.

4. The Black-American population is anywhere between 12% to 14% of the U.S. populatiuon. We can surmise from that that the male population in Black-America is roughly half the sum of Black-America.

5. Latinos now make up a larger percentage of the U.S. population than Blacks, indeed with Asians and Amerindians (many Amerindians in the U.S. are mixed-race with White phenotype) combined that difference is even greater.

6. Black-America does not have enough control over industry (not with $ but with capital such as factory buildings, machinery, etc.) nor does it have enough people to ever wage war against White-America and then enslave its people (White-Americans). And as I've pointed out earlier in this thread, Jews, Italians, Irish, Polish and so forth were not considered White at onetime, but eventually were allowed mebership into the dominant racial group (White). As I've noted, this will likely occur with certain non-White groups today, in the future, such as the Hapa.

7. If White-Americans today, as a general whole, were so bad, they would simply exterminate Black-Americans (and they out of all Americans have the potential capacity to do so). But they don't, because simply speaking, most White people simply are not that bad. Indeed, some of them treat Black people better than Black people treat Black people.

8. Given the significant socio-political changes in the U.S. since the 17th century, I think it would be counterproductive (and evil arguably) for Black-America to wage guerrilla warfare (the only sane warfare they could wage) against White-America. The U.S. economy would be destroyed and consequently the quality of life for Black-Americans would plummet.

9. Has there ever been a time to fight? Yeah, I think so. I think Irish under Anglo rule with their Anglo-Norman landlords had a perfectly good reason to fight. I think the Palesitians have a perfectly good reason to fight today. I think the Black Panthers and the N.O.I. (Nation of Islam) had a very good reason and strategy to threaten martial warfare against White-America in the 1960's and 70's. Today the racial dominant class like to cast Huey Newton and Malcom X in a lesser role than Martin Luther King Jr not because it benefits Black folks but because it benefits White folks. In fact the Black Panthers are projected as a rather former evil thing, even though they were a quintessential American story of picking up arms against oppression.

10. What the OP searches for, but perhaps does not yet know it, is the history of socialism in the United States. Socialists were by-and-large against sexism, racism, and very much in defense of the wage earner (wage slave).


All that said, I would like to point out a fact little disputed by sociologist and psycholgists today (though it is disputed in essence by popular media propaganda that says we can be whatever we want and are soley self-made). We all - human beings - are a product of the history of our antecendants. This is why Black-Americans play basketball and not soccer like Black-Brazilians, this is why Black-Americans speak English and not Portuguese like Black-Brazilians. In fact the history of oppression is ever with many Black-Americans in their surnames - which most often happen to be Anglo-Saxon, Scottish, or Welsh. Black-Americans don't have German, Polish, Jewish, or Italian surnames for a reason. They also don't have surnames that would be representative of the Fulani or Wolof for a reason.




dreamerdreaming -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 9:53:51 AM)

OP,

Living well is the best revenge.




agirl -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 9:56:00 AM)

Well, I found it a great read. I really enjoy your posts UPSG.

agirl




wandersalone -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 10:06:55 AM)

I actually tend to think that many sociologists and psychologists would be in agreement that we are the product of our history and of our environment .... they wouldn't be saying it is one or the other which your post seemed to intimate (though I could be reading it wrong....it is late)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG

All that said, I would like to point out a fact little disputed by sociologist and psycholgists today (though it is disputed in essence by popular media propaganda that says we can be whatever we want and are soley self-made). We all - human beings - are a product of the history of our antecendants. This is why Black-Americans play basketball and not soccer like Black-Brazilians, this is why Black-Americans speak English and not Portuguese like Black-Brazilians. In fact the history of oppression is ever with many Black-Americans in their surnames - which most often happen to be Anglo-Saxon, Scottish, or Welsh. Black-Americans don't have German, Polish, Jewish, or Italian surnames for a reason. They also don't have surnames that would be representative of the Fulani or Wolof for a reason.





oceanwynds -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 10:43:58 AM)

After reading the last few posts, I too now understand what a rant about nothing means. People tend to argue for their or others suppose limitations and feel justified in doing so. So be it.




Lockit -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 10:47:44 AM)

History is something that can have an effect upon a person as well as many other things... that isn't my arguement whatsoever.  What I am trying to point out is that we make a choice in life to live it fully or limit ourselves and to take on things in such a way as the op has, is harmful more to herself than anyone else.  It is a personal choice to be angry and upset with the world, including things that happen to us.  We can get mad and do something about things, but what good is revenge?  What can one produce or make good of the bad things if we are stuck in the mad?  What good comes of blaming the world around us rather than see what we might be doing that might bring some of this to ourselves and how we view the world and what happens to us in life?

I would rather live happy, dealing with the problems and having a life that doesn't include stomping my feet over the injustice I see.  Either do something about it or not.  To compare personal issues that might include some historical something or other, without personal accountablity to our own happiness is an injustice we do to ourselves, not that is done to us.




LadyConstanze -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 2:18:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1

Oh, and about the "young" thing.  I was 30 and IDd to buy a lottery ticket.  An F-ING lottery ticket.  Trust me, it does get better, but when you're old and you finally LOOK old, it's not much of a reward.

Edited to add: And I can't tell you how many times I went into a bar and was told I didn't have a real driver's license because that couldn't possibly be my age, or I had borrowed someone's because I was not who I said I was.
And I'll never forget going out with my ex who is 6 years younger than me, and being carded to buy a drink.  I didn't have it with me, and so he bought the drink for me.  He wasn't carded.


HAHAHAHA, I agree with you! When painting my office last year I ran to the corner shop to get some cigs and a few bottles of beer for the friends who helped me, no makeup, paint stained dungarees and bandana, when they wanted to see an ID I just looked at them and said "Woah, can I kiss you for that?"




UPSG -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 2:20:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Well, I found it a great read. I really enjoy your posts UPSG.

agirl



Thank you, agirl.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

I actually tend to think that many sociologists and psychologists would be in agreement that we are the product of our history and of our environment .... they wouldn't be saying it is one or the other which your post seemed to intimate (though I could be reading it wrong....it is late


You are 100% correct, wandersalone. I didn't mean to imply we are only a product of our ethnic or national histories to the exclusion of everything else. Our environment makes a huge impact on us, and so does our familial cultures. Of course our own personalities contribute to who we are also.

I think the Black-American experience though, overlaps into family cultural issues as well. I think I might have mentioned in the early pages of this thread that Black-Americans (I'm speaking of family and community cultures) are very similar to Amerindians and the Irish in Ireland that they tend to view themselves as defeated people. The psychological impact of things like black-face minstrel shows, on Black-America, should not be underestimated. The propaganda against Black-Americans was still quite heavy just a generation before mine. Some Black-American Baby-Boomers can tell you they were taught in grade school or high school that Black males were more likely to turn out as homosexuals than White males because Black family culture typically has their young Black boys helping to hang clothes on the clothing lines (which was still a common practice when I was a young kid but no longer is common today). The propaganda has been toned down today from the levels it used to be at but it still exists. One of the biggest examples is the HIV/AIDS scare.

Less than 1% of the U.S. population has HIV/AIDS. It is true that the Black rate of infection is more than twice the national rate. However, from my own calculations (estimates that is) we are talking a rate of roughly 2.3%. We can take an educated guess and suppose that roughly 1% of the Black-American female population and roughly 1% of the Black-American male population has HIV/AIDS. Meaning 99% of them don't have the deadly virus.

If you listen to the media though you would get the impression Black-American males are wiping out Black-American females (killing them). Yet, few Black-Americans know anyone with HIV or who has died from AIDS. The media would give you the impression the situation is on par with the Black plague that swept through Europe literally obliterating entire villages. The reason is they want Black males to feel bad about themselves and for Black women to be outraged against Black males. Diabetes is a greater threat to Black-Americans than HIV, not to mention there are plenty of obese fast-food eating people in Black-America. I'll grant you we are talking large numbers in these small percentages - but that is because the U.S. population is gigantic. And while it is true that AIDS is the number one killer or Black-American women within a specific age range, what the media conveniently does not take the time to note, is that few women within that age range die any fuckin way. I mean how many Black-American women age 35 die? Yeah, hella few. On the other hand gun violence kills or puts many young Black men in wheel chairs for the rest of their lives.

In my mind, the greatest threat to Black-Americans today is Black-Americans and their community violence problems. But then if I say that some would mark me as a racist, or "self-hater", or sell-out or whatever.




UPSG -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 2:35:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

History is something that can have an effect upon a person as well as many other things... that isn't my arguement whatsoever.  What I am trying to point out is that we make a choice in life to live it fully or limit ourselves and to take on things in such a way as the op has...


Yeah, I agree we make choices. Italian-Americans learned long ago if they wanted upward mobility in the U.S. that it behooved them to change their name from Giuseppe to Joseph or Denise or Richard or something. A Salvatore becomes "Sammy." This reminds me of that scene in the movie The Untouchables were the Irish cop character asks the police cadet (Andy Garcia) what his name was before he changed it? I mean, you won't find to many CEO's in the United States with the first name Giuseppe. Lol [sm=lol.gif]

The OP can't do much about her height and phenotype. The good news is that young White-America has fully embraced Obama and his dark-skinned Black wife. That's a major directional change for the U.S. The OP should take some optimism from that. On the other hand she probably should come to peace with the fact that her height especially, along with that child-like voice, will create many obstacles for her in life. She likely will never be a First Lady if she is that short and has a voice that sounds like a 7 year old. Life is unfair and I can empathize with her struggle.

quote:


is harmful more to herself than anyone else.  It is a personal choice to be angry and upset with the world, including things that happen to us.  We can get mad and do something about things, but what good is revenge?  What can one produce or make good of the bad things if we are stuck in the mad?  What good comes of blaming the world around us rather than see what we might be doing that might bring some of this to ourselves and how we view the world and what happens to us in life?

I would rather live happy, dealing with the problems and having a life that doesn't include stomping my feet over the injustice I see.  Either do something about it or not.  To compare personal issues that might include some historical something or other, without personal accountablity to our own happiness is an injustice we do to ourselves, not that is done to us.


I think I would largely agree with you about this. Your last sentence was particularly well said.






agirl -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 3:21:27 PM)

I don't think life is *unfair* ..........I think life *is*, fullstop.

agirl




DesFIP -> RE: When you're a feminist in this lifestyle...(a rant more than anything) (2/7/2009 5:17:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG

Worked for pissed off ex-confederate soldiers that turned bank robbers and horse thieves.



And when did Quantrell's Raiders become romantic cowboys? Not in my book.
Murderers and thieves, nothing more than that.

None of which has anything to do with the op's lack of personal accountability. She wants to be taken seriously but acts like the child she hates to be confused with. Because she's African-American she demands a free ride, conveniently ignoring the inaugural speech of the first African-American President who clearly stated none of us can afford that any more. Do I assume she voted against him? Or didn't bother to read up on his ideas?

Worst of all, she believes that the only way she can be truly free is if everyone else is enslaved. That's amoral in my view.




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