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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

I suspose there is many reasons to why we come here and see a lack of acceptance for others and even feel it directed towards ourselves, I know I felt it. I would even be so bold to say that we have on occassion been unaccepting of others from time to time, I know I have.

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?

Free speech always brings a certain amount of edge with it, and anonymity pushes up a person's "braverly" factor on a message board. So these are at odds with being touchy feely supportive. I like how this board is, which is a nice mix of conflict, common sense, and supportive exchange.

In my view, "the offended" on a message board have such feeling "on them." I'd rather have people deeply, deeply offended, shocked, and appalled then engage in any form of censorship. So, I'm in the camp who believes if you post here, you should be able to take it and defend yourself. If cannot, well, don't blame everyone else.

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am who I am...I don't try to justify it to anyone...people either take me as I am, faults and all...or they can go fuck themselves for all I care. I don't try to force my beliefs on anyone, but neither will I stand still and let them try to force theirs on me.

/shrug

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am who I am...I don't try to justify it to anyone...people either take me as I am, faults and all...or they can go fuck themselves for all I care. I don't try to force my beliefs on anyone, but neither will I stand still and let them try to force theirs on me.

/shrug

I have to agree with this. I'm Male, Blond (More grey now), Virgo (We all know Virgos are born innocent and remain innocent even when proven guilty) and Part Irish..... That's my excuse and I'm a sticken with it!

Basically:
1. I'll give you a fair go ~ Untill you screw me about.

2. I'll accept you on face value ~ Untill I find you were telling me porkies.

3. I'll help you as much as I am able ~ And ask for nothing in return.

4. I'll treat you with kindness and consideration ~ If you abuse me, then I'll deduct browney points.

5. I'll welcome you into my home as a guest ~ If you abuse or insult my family and/or property, I'll deduct you from the brownie points.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?

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ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I have at times been offended when someone lashed back at an idea--it took Me some growth not to take it personally, this site actually helped in that growth--here I have been able to dish it and take it and see that those that oppose, in the next thread applaud---in the early days I tucked My tail a time or two, now I feel as I've stated, this is My neighborhood bar, everyone is a regular, who knows who will show up and what the topic will be, but it will be spirited, funny, informative, educational, passionate and always always opinionated!

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am who I am...I don't try to justify it to anyone...people either take me as I am, faults and all...or they can go fuck themselves for all I care. I don't try to force my beliefs on anyone, but neither will I stand still and let them try to force theirs on me.

/shrug

I have to agree with this. I'm Male, Blond (More grey now), Virgo (We all know Virgos are born innocent and remain innocent even when proven guilty) and Part Irish..... That's my excuse and I'm a sticken with it!

Basically:
1. I'll give you a fair go ~ Untill you screw me about.

2. I'll accept you on face value ~ Untill I find you were telling me porkies.

3. I'll help you as much as I am able ~ And ask for nothing in return.

4. I'll treat you with kindness and consideration ~ If you abuse me, then I'll deduct browney points.

5. I'll welcome you into my home as a guest ~ If you abuse or insult my family and/or property, I'll deduct you from the brownie points.

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ORIGINAL: MHOO314
But at the end of the day, we are still humans, with wiring--wiring filled with prejudices, judgements, emotions, beliefs, that is still at times very hard to overcome--we will overcome beliefs about ones treatment of their Dominnat or submissive, but have that same person state openly that they worship Satan and the natural wiring kicks in---

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My neighborhood bar, everyone is a regular, who knows who will show up and what the topic will be, but it will be spirited, funny, informative, educational, passionate and always always opinionated

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ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I know personally posting here has helped Me in business emails, I have at times been offended when someone lashed back at an idea--it took Me some growth not to take it personally, this site actually helped in that growth--here I have been able to dish it and take it and see that those that oppose, in the next thread applaud---in the early days I tucked My tail a time or two, now I feel as I've stated, this is My neighborhood bar, everyone is a regular, who knows who will show up and what the topic will be, but it will be spirited, funny, informative, educational, passionate and always always opinionated!


But at the end of the day, we are still humans, with wiring--wiring filled with prejudices, judgements, emotions, beliefs, that is still at times very hard to overcome--we will overcome beliefs about ones treatment of their Dominnat or submissive, but have that same person state openly that they worship Satan and the natural wiring kicks in---

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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


As for why people are not accepting, several things come to mind (these are not meant to be universal, just ideas):

- People tend to fear what they do not understand and they tend to control or destroy that which they fear.

- It is possible that they have not fully accepted this part of themselves and therefore cannot be accepting of it in others. Divesting ourselves of conventional morals and opinions is not an easy thing to do for everyone. Becoming aware of your kinks and desires does not automatically mean that you will accept them.

- Definitions are too narrowly defined to be applied to a group (this is a big pet-peeve of our house). You can narrowly define something for yourself and your own life, but trying to project that definition on a group will end up isolating people and demonstrating a lack of acceptance.


An important distinction that I make for myself, I do not have to accept someone’s kink, behavior, relationship…. I just have to accept their right to choose those things for themselves. There is a significant difference between accepting someone’s choices and accepting their right to make those choices. However, they also have to accept my right to not choose those things for myself and to choose not to interact with them.


kyra

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ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

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ORIGINAL: MHOO314
But at the end of the day, we are still humans, with wiring--wiring filled with prejudices, judgements, emotions, beliefs, that is still at times very hard to overcome--we will overcome beliefs about ones treatment of their Dominnat or submissive, but have that same person state openly that they worship Satan and the natural wiring kicks in---

Well said. Well said indeed, Lady Hathor.

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ORIGINAL: IceyOne

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So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?

I like the color black. I wear it daily. I also practice withcraft on a daily basis. Does this mean that I am a Devil worshipper? Of course not. My reasons for wearing that color, and for practicing my religion are justified in my own mind. But to a devout Catholic...I am nothing more than sin incarnate. Their reasons for believing that? Because the Bible says so. Is it justified? Sure, in their own mind it is. They are entitled to their beliefs, just as I am entitled to mine.

(middle section taken out by sunshine)

It is impossible to control how others will react to you, or to something that you said, or to something that you do. All you can do is make sure that in YOUR own mind, your actions are justified and true to YOURSELF. Once you have reached that stage, the beliefs, opinions, and acceptance of others should not matter.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

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ORIGINAL: newflowers

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That's an interesting observation to share on this thread.

it is an antecdote told to make a point - there are those who expect acceptance and tolerance for themselves, but do not offer in kind that which they expect. oftentimes, we can see intolerance and a lack of acceptance when it is directed towards us, but we do not always see it when we direct the same towards others. we can have a thousands reasons, or what we think is one very good reason, to justify our actions; however, the justification is merely an excuse for bad choice.

you called it dumping your powerlessness on another.

newflower

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

I suspose there is many reasons to why we come here and see a lack of acceptance for others and even feel it directed towards ourselves, I know I felt it. I would even be so bold to say that we have on occassion been unaccepting of others from time to time, I know I have.

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?

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I'm reading the BDSM board, before going to church.