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RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 6:51:48 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		She has a right to walk away if she does not find the relationship to be fulfilling. As a Dominant I cannot imagine doing this to my male slave it would upset both our worlds. But if it did then he would have the choice as whether to stay in the relationship or to leave. This big of a change in lifestyle would require a lot of work and dedication to one another, but it can be done if it is something BOTH parties really desire.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 7:07:22 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		You always have the right to walk away from any dynamic. No one can keep you if you don't want to stay somewhere, everyone has that choice, legally. If the dynamic changed and I became unfulfilled as a slave then I would become stifled and become depressed if I could no longer be whom I am meant to be. M/s, D/s is not one sided or a one way street. It takes all involved to make it work and all involved need to feel like they are important and needs are being met. If I felt unhappy then I would not stay somewhere that made me unhappy.

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(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 7:15:06 AM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I would stay with Master T.  I would be sad, but kink is not the only reason we are in a relationship.  I love him with all my heart and would never want to be without him...I don't like to be away from him for even one day.  I think that it is far reaching to think that he would want that, but he has always said that if I decide that one day I just don't want to do the slave thing, just need to tell him and he will let it go...tho I am sure that he says that knowing that it would never happen :)

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 7:27:16 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterTslave

I would stay with Master T.  I would be sad, but kink is not the only reason we are in a relationship.  I love him with all my heart and would never want to be without him...I don't like to be away from him for even one day.  I think that it is far reaching to think that he would want that, but he has always said that if I decide that one day I just don't want to do the slave thing, just need to tell him and he will let it go...tho I am sure that he says that knowing that it would never happen :)


I see it the same way as you do MasterTslave

I personally only get involved with anyone on a very deep level. Since being married or collared has never been a 'need' of mine, when I do enter that type of arrangement, I am there standing behind them for life.

My life with late hubby though not with kink, perhaps D/s was a strong marriage. It would not occured to me to walk away when his health was so bad, that I had to step up to the plate and take over. His emotions also played in this, and to walk away because he couldnt handle things for awhile, would not had enter my mind.

I dont comprehend entering relationships just to be in one and havent for a long long time, though I know many people do. That is their choice. It is their choice also to stay or not. I feel 'friends' and family need to stay out of it. You can be an ear but nothing more.

(in reply to MasterTslave)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 7:32:46 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Nope.  If he feels that strongly about it, there needs to be a discussion.  If he wants to relinquish that much control but still wants to make the decision by himself, he's playing both sides of the fence.

Obviously something major has happened, and he needs to communicate.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 8:07:15 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Reposted:
It would not be likely to me. Not because I can't enjoy vanilla partnerships (I can), not because I would be too hurt and betrayed to be able to form something with him (which I might be), but just because that relationship of ownership to me just wouldn't be flexible enough to me to shift.

I could be his friend, but not his intimate girlfriend.

_____________________________

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 9:07:49 AM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		What if master say we now will live in box under bridge? There are limits. Even way past when there were queens and kings and real slaves in Egypt there were limits. Sometimes the queen give an order and the slave say "f--K this, just cut away my head I do not care."

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 9:13:18 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Master and I had this same discussion about a month ago.  What it came down to was if he only wanted me to be just his girlfriend/fiancee without the kinky part, we would both survive.  Hell, between the distance, and our work schedules, we already live mostly Vanilla with the kink coming in when we are in the same area code.

_____________________________

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The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

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10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 9:32:59 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		It would be hard for me because even though we do vanilla things the D/s aspect is always there.  I love him so much that i would not leave but, we would have to have a discussion on this.  See why he wants to change what we have.  It fufills both of our needs.  There would have to be a very good reason to change somethung that was not agreeed upon.

As for the op's friend i thinks she shoul just give him some time.  He had a shock and it has shaken him.  He may just need some time.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 10:01:16 AM   
LilacPromise


Posts: 33
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline 		Hello angel,
 
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your friend's troubles.
 
The Master involved has had a huge emotional shock. It could be he needs time to come to terms with that and the additional strain / responsibilities of being a Master are something at the moment he cannot cope with. It could also be the case that even with support and time he may make the decision not to return to being a Master.
 
Perhaps, the Master involved is also taking the decision to end the M/s side of the relationship in the hope that the full relationship may run it's course and also come to an end.
 
I read further in the topic that LL mentioned that previously the slave needed to be "rescued" before. This is rather worrying as it would sugguest there were difficulties within that relationship prior to their marriage. If this is the case then the safety of the slave, her mental and physical well being must be a priority.
 
If the Master makes the decision to end the M/s part of the relationship, I think support within their community is a must for both of them.  It is something that needs to be treated with Honesty and clarity on both sides. He needs to give clear and Honest reasons for it.
 
They need to discuss it and find a way forward from the point they are both at. It might be that the Ex Master (Husband) recognises that his wife would still benefit from remaining Mastered as as a slave and seek guidance perhaps from another Master.
 
Personal opinion: I do not think given the facts of the circumstances the Master concerned is in a good place to make a huge life changing decision at present for him and his wife .
 
If I were the woman involved - I would remain ( if it was a safe situation and I didn't need rescuing) I would be with him for the Man himself of which being a Master is only one aspect of that. A little like the fact if I was dating a vanilla man and he befell a dreadful accident or had a huge amount of personal strain / stress in his life ... I would not walk away but try to help support him through it .
 
Lastly, I think its good the woman has such good friends to help and support her through this . I hope things work out for the best for both of them.
 
Lilac

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 10:38:32 AM   
Morniel


Posts: 60
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

what if a slave's Master decided he wished them to be vanilla?


Get him to health care professionals in a right hurry, because it would mean that his personality had undergone a sudden, severe, and uncharactaristic change.

He is what he is, a dominant personality; I am what I am, a submissive personality.  Those things are part of our makeup just as hair or toes or eyebrows are.  If he wasn't "dominant" then he wouldn't BE Soltic, just as if I wasn't "submissive" then I wouldn't BE Morniel.  If for some reason or another his personality changed so that he no longer chose control (in or out of bed, work, household, whatever) then my immediate concern would be for his health, because such a change would be so completely foreign to his personality.

Now, on the other hand, if he chose to tone down certain elements of our relationship -- for instance, if he no longer required an accounting of how I spent the month's grocery budget, or no longer wanted to look over the "supper list" for the week, or something, then I'd simply talk with him myself, and find out if perhaps he was tired, or stressed from work, or the like.

If in the bedroom he suddenly decided that bondage wasn't interesting tonight, I wouldn't worry; we've made lovelots of times where there was no "BDSM" to our play, though he still controls who does what and when.

(in reply to LilacPromise)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 10:46:22 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...Get him to health care professionals in a right hurry, because it would mean that his personality had undergone a sudden, severe, and uncharactaristic change.

He is what he is, a dominant personality; I am what I am, a submissive personality.  Those things are part of our makeup just as hair or toes or eyebrows are...


EXACTLY...either that or He said it in a sadistic attempt at jerking this slave's "chain" with a practical joke (that works most of the time).
after the shock and the crying is over and He lets on that it was just a joke, she is always glad to have amused Him!
 

(in reply to Morniel)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 10:46:38 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
It would never have happened in my relationship; mainly because we did not differentiate between ‘play’ and ‘non play’. He was always the Dominant, I was always submissive to him…no matter where we were, what we were doing, or who we were with. In the 10 years I spent with him, I called him by his first name once ( and had to be reminded what it was at the time ); 24/7, 365 ….our M/s dynamic was continuous and always changing/growing.

For him to have suggested that we ‘stop being who we are and pretend to be someone else’ is really quite amusing when I think about it.

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(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:04:06 PM   
fadwar


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline 		i would say "arghhhhhhhhhhhh noooooooooooooo" lol

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:06:48 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		In the scenario you describe, OP:

He is attempting to change the terms of their original agreement. This in effect, makes their original agreement null and void. Which is what he wants. But presumably it is not what she wants. In effect, he has released her. She is free to stay with him and be vanilla, or continue her search for a master.

If it was me, I'd leave in a New York minute. He broke the agreement.

She is released.

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(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:16:27 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel




what if a slave's Master decided he wished them to be vanilla?




This is what happened to me except I was not his slave but his submissive. The problem is that it came after being with him for some time (living together) and by that time I thought I loved him. Things slowed down to next to nothing and then one night I decided to call his bluff. I told him that I no longer felt submissive and his answer to that was, 'well thank god for that because I really never got all that dominant submissive shit'.
I stayed with him for a further 3 years and whilst I played out my dominant side with other people, I just became a submissive in my fantasy.

Maria


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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:21:04 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morniel

quote:

what if a slave's Master decided he wished them to be vanilla?


Get him to health care professionals in a right hurry, because it would mean that his personality had undergone a sudden, severe, and uncharactaristic change.



What it actually means is he conned her into believing he was a dominant man and when she is gone he will go on to con other women into believing the same. Its all about pulling techniques and sadly some men/women will use the dominant role to do this because its a great way of getting some kinky sex.


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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Morniel)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:22:45 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Well to me, Yes. he broke the original agreement, and since we're going to be "vanilla's now" Then I am free to act like a vanilla woman and walk away from him if I wish. Or to negotiate how I want things to be.
quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel

A subject came up amoung me and some others that got me to thinking
about something.

A slave is to obey and be pleasing to her Master. Her Master is to
have the final say in all things. Given the truth of these things,
what if a slave's Master decided he wished them to be vanilla? The
two are also Husband and wife. The two were Master and slave before
they were married. The slave got with this person in part because
they both wanted the same type of relationship. The slave is slave
and feels this in her very being and wishes they could stay
Master/slave. If she is to obey and her Master is to have final say
in their lifes then would she obey this new rule?

Would the fact the Master is saying, "I am no longer your Master you
are no longer my slave" make the rules of obeying him and him having
the final say null and void? Would it be braking the rules if she did
stay but tried ways to get him to Master her?

Would her knowing her place as a slave and staying in that place by
obeying him make him go back to being her Master?

I have confused feeling on this myself so I thought others might have
better insight. I know their was a time in my life I would have said
if my Master said we are going vanilla I would have felt then I would
have to leave the relationship. I am not sure I could do that
anymore. After 5 years with my Lord emotional feelings and love has
grew. I am not sure I could give up the man just because he could not
be the Master. I am just thankful that I don't think this will ever
be something I have to decide.

This is not the first time I have heard of this happening so I
thought maybe it would make a good topic.

Angel LL's slave girl



(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:28:53 PM   
Seductor


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

She has a right to walk away if she does not find the relationship to be fulfilling. As a Dominant I cannot imagine doing this to my male slave it would upset both our worlds. But if it did then he would have the choice as whether to stay in the relationship or to leave. This big of a change in lifestyle would require a lot of work and dedication to one another, but it can be done if it is something BOTH parties really desire.

~Lashra



I tend to agree.  Once you've laid the framework for a relationship, it is unsettling if not totally chaotic for the submissive to find out that their Dom is no longer dominant, or worse yet, a submissive!

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What would you do If your Master said you both woul... - 2/5/2009 1:33:32 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

I happen to think that it's human nature (regardless of what we identify as) for people to feel fulfilled, and to stay in, relationships that meet their particular needs.  And I think when and if those needs are no longer being met, the relationship is going to suffer or end.


Oh I so agree with this. Its not always that easy to get up and walk out. I did eventually but it took one hell of a long time to let go of all those other things that had brought us close together.
When your told that you are no longer to be submissive by someone you have openly given your submission to, you feel worse than worthless and you constantly question yourself. You feel stupid and take the blame. It was that very worthlessness that made me walk away in the end because it became so strong that it overpowered everything else we had.

Maria


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 40
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