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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 5:34:01 AM

Lynnxz

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Ha, I asked C what he'd do if I started demanding that my submission was a gift to be earned. He told me not to be a throatpunch.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 7:11:38 AM

OttersSwim

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Yea...I don't buy the whole "submission is a gift" thing. We are just a boy (mostly

) and a girl in a love relationship that has a D/s dynamic at its core. She is dominant, I am submissive. My submission is part of who I am, not something I give. She brings forth those feelings of submission in me through her love for me.

Yea, my submission is special...but it is not something I EVER want to trade upon in our relationship - so I try not ascribe to it delusions of grandeur...

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 7:49:50 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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We work together to fulfill eachother. This is not a quid pro quo arrangement.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 8:22:36 AM

MistressAinCT

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I know..I'm Domme but I would like to address something.

I believe to some extent submission IS a gift. However, once that gift is given to Me-like any other gift-I am free to do with it as I choose. I don't look at it as "earning" their submission as much as its developing TRUST. The two go hand in hand: when we make the decision to move forward, that means there is a trust bond. It has to work both ways, but that's MHO.

But if you want to talk about earning anything, I believe slaves/subs have to earn their collar. Too many times I take on a slave and already they have a collar, which isn't true. Some things HAVE to be worked for/proven because so many SAY they can serve, but few actually do. A bit off topic but I felt it needed to be said.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 8:35:38 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday.

to this slave, our relationship is a gift, a blessing...a joyful meeting of two souls...hellbent on fun and frolic.

quote:

...Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?...

it isn't work, and never has been...or something that one of us earns from the other...it is bliss, something that we share with each other as we share ourselves with each other, completely naked.
even in costumes with or without nametags affixed, we are with each other as our avatar pic represents, and it is comfortable, fulfilling and a helluva lotta fun!!!

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 8:55:13 AM

beltainefaerie

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I just don't think of it this way. All relationships should be about mutual respect whether dominance or submission are being offered. Making a partner earn daily the right to a major relationship component seems idiotic to me, but whatever paradigm works for you is cool.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 9:21:15 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
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From: NW Arkansas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?

It was the title of the thread that brought me here; my initial thought was depends on who you ask. My submission is priceless to me and my submission is treasured immensley and for the first time in my life i truly feel valued. To others outside of our relationship... my submission to him is meaningless. i've always been a natural and good natured doormat of a person, (easy target for the manipulative but my eyes are always open, i am not blind or ignorant of the facts that present themselves) that is able to stand up for everyone but myself... strange as that is.

i have always been submissive, my whole life. i almost always give folks the benefit of the doubt entrusting them with my respect and trust until they have lost it or trampled on it, then... not so much of my submission is given, more often than not, it is lost.

Do i make my man work (or "earn" rather) for my loyalty, love, devotion, submission.... that would be a resounding No. If he has all that from me it is because he was able to capture my mind, heart, and soul. How? By simply being himself and allowing me the freedom to be myself in which we are capable of accepting one another completely and unconditionally. That is what makes it priceless to me. It is a true rarity and so very difficult to find.

Never have i wondered.... "well.... whats in it for me if i do this or that", not even with prospective Doms in the past. Seems to me that would be the mindset of a player or a swinger, not somebody looking for a LTR. Some people put hoops out there to see what they can get, to see who will jump through them, that is probably more of what you are trying to say and again... just being honest about what you want and what you are looking for, up front, without any games or drama, should be more than sufficient in finding what you seek.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1993886/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1993886

this was a thread where i had posed pretty much the same question in the Ask a Master forum.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 9:38:37 AM

agirl

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It's a spin on words. Come on. The idea that M had to *work at* owning me seems laughable.

I can go along the road far enough to know that he obviously DID *earn* whatever it took for me to belong to him and for him to have me.

This isn't some mystical process and using the word *earned* will be deciphered and processed in a fair few ways.

If we stick to the notion of *earn* .....well, I am far more in need/debt to him than he ever will be to me ...it's unbalanced.

It might be pc to have all things equal in terms of who's got what...but when push comes to shove it really isn't here. He has far more of me than I have of him. He is more important, more significant, to me, than I am to him.

I wouldn't describe it as *bliss*..but most people around us do....lol

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 9:42:38 AM

SassySarijane

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My submission is not a gift nor is it earned. It is part of me. That does not mean I'm submissive to everyone however. Where deep trust and respect and emotion have grown is where I submit to the person, just naturally wanting to do for them, take care of them, and see them happy.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 9:53:15 AM

oceanwynds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I don’t ‘make’ them earn my submission, how does one go about doing that? Give me prezzies and I’ll submit? Whoo-hoo! Where do I sign up?

chuckles
writes serious note to myself. dont drink coffee while readings posts

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 9:56:01 AM

oceanwynds

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I do not do well with games, so I don't make Sir earn my submission. With that said though, I don't jump into things fast. In any type of relationship things need to grow so trust can grow. Even a friend that I just met, would not be required to jump through hoops for me.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 9:58:21 AM

subtlebutterfly

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Is your submission priceless??? = no, just like a relationship without submission isn't priceless. If I engage in a relationship the submission comes for free really..that is, if I feel like submitting to them... it's the minority of my partners I feel submissive to even though I get involved with them.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:02:27 AM

oceanwynds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?

I wonder if this is more of a description on how a submissive can be abusive to their Dom?

< Message edited by oceanwynds -- 2/6/2009 10:04:07 AM >

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:05:53 AM

littleone35

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Did Master earn my trust yes, did he earn my respect? yes, did he earn my submission ?no. He never had to. The word earn is not right he inspired me to submit to him. Earning almost sounds like a test. If you don't do X then i will not submit to you. That just seems very wrong to me. I have always been submissive but i submit to only one, the one who imspired me.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:12:00 AM

SassySarijane

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?

I see nothing in that to indicate submission or being submissive in any way. I find it pretty sad really.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:15:27 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?

I wonder if this is more of a description on how a submissive can be abusive to their Dom?

lol.... if you get to the stage where you're abusing your bloke ... it isn't D/s. .

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:19:43 AM

oceanwynds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?

I wonder if this is more of a description on how a submissive can be abusive to their Dom?

lol.... if you get to the stage where you're abusing your bloke ... it isn't D/s. .

True!!!
I know of a lot of abusive vanilla relationships, and seldom is spoken about the female being the abuser. But that is another story.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:20:59 AM

T1981

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I was going to write more, then I realised you're the one that likes to browbeat your dominants until they cry, which kind of makes me raise my eyebrow at that whole relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

lol.... if you get to the stage where you're abusing your bloke ... it isn't D/s. .

Yep. Indeed.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:38:42 AM

RCdc

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quote:

RE: Is your submission priceless???

No. It's not a commodity.

quote:

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission.

No.

quote:

To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday.

It's not for me.

quote:

Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?

No.

the.dark.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 10:55:44 AM

dreamerdreaming

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I've said this before and I'll say it again:

My slave's submission is not a gift.

He is the gift.

Carmeldelight, from your posts on these boards, you seem like a dom in sub's clothing. Maybe you would like to explore your dom or switch side?

There is nothing worse than wasting your youth trying to be something you're not. Youth should be a time of exploration. Think about it...

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