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Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:52:51 AM   
MidnightKat5000


Posts: 97
Joined: 1/10/2009
Status: offline 		This is a question to for the subbies.  Do you like or prefer a dominant/mistress/owner/what have you that is caring?  Or do you just want her to be the typical bitch without care?




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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:55:11 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If you get one serious answer that says choice B. in the affirmative........I would be hugely surprised.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:57:09 AM   
alianora


Posts: 38
Status: offline 		You would have to first explain to me what exactly you mean by caring.
 
I have no wish to be pampered, spoiled, taken care of, petted...etc, etc.
 
I also have no wish to live with a man who never smiles, is always cranky, rude, belligerent, nasty (in a mean sort of way )...etc, etc.
 

(in reply to MidnightKat5000)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:57:10 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If you get one serious answer that says choice B. in the affirmative........I would be hugely surprised.


I would be surprised if bread could even type...
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:59:49 AM   
kittykat4play


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline 		i like a Dominant who is both caring and compassionate with a evil sadistic side. 

For me, i need to know i am cared for.  i want those caresses and cuddles after a good beating.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 11:29:23 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		The caring and compassionate side of a woman is what makes the cold, cruel side of her all the more hot and all the more frightening - the fact that this gentle, delicate little flower of femininity, who loves to cuddle and giggles like a little girl when you do something sweet for her, actually enjoys stringing you up on your tiptoes and whipping you with a belt until you scream for mercy... and then really enjoys saying no, and lighting into you even harder... well, what's hotter than that?

< Message edited by ThatDamnedPanda -- 2/6/2009 11:34:51 AM >

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 11:46:34 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I hope to find someone who is a little of both. If she's completely uncaring, I probably won't be able to handle it, and wouldn't be able to stay with her very long. But a little "meanness" to emphasize who's in control, and to remind me of my place beneath her, that's a good thing.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 12:26:26 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		I believe we're created to fulfill each others needs in a committed relationship (however that might be). One of those needs is for the typically gruff and hard male, so have a place of comfort and trust where he can submit to the softer, yet more powerful female radiations. I KNOW we males get a lot of nurturing and even healing from our Females.

Sure, it's quite hot and thrilling when a true Woman acts takes on what are most generally assumed as male roles and acts, but for me, I still need and desire my D to have a sweet/soft disposition at times. I wouldn't do well with a Female who's always a bitch, always screaming etc. I guess we all have different needs....

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 2:01:07 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		I could tell you one thing.  My last ex-dom is very caring and compassionate.  Four years ago, my father died and they met each other.  Part of me did not want to tell this dom but I knew I had to do it because it was the right thing to do.  This person bought a full Honey-Baked ham dinner and also attended my father's funeral service.
 
This is something I will never forget and to this day, I am still on friendly terms with him, which is very rare to have with most of my previous vanilla relationships.  He is someone who will always have a place in my heart.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 2:29:07 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alianora

You would have to first explain to me what exactly you mean by caring.
 
I have no wish to be pampered, spoiled, taken care of, petted...etc, etc.
 
I also have no wish to live with a man who never smiles, is always cranky, rude, belligerent, nasty (in a mean sort of way )...etc, etc.
 



I have to agree with alianora.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 2:45:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It isn't what a sub likes that matters, it is a matter of you being your true self. Because if you are playing a part, eventually you will have a bad day where you can't wear the thigh high stiletto boots while using a crop on him while he scrubs the floor on his hand and knees. You will have a day where you need to be held, need your stiff neck rubbed, need him to take over for you while you get some stress relief.

And if you play the part of the bitch on wheels, then any sub who is attracted to that fake persona won't be there for you when you take off the mask. Is that what you want, to be a liar in everything you say and do?

Now lots of the sub males here are actually male bottoms seeking to get their fantasies fulfilled and you won't fit with any one of them. But isn't it better to have that discovered earlier instead of after six months has gone by?

Just be yourself. And you can find others like you to talk to in the Ask A Mistress forum.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 3:39:17 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
I had to have that, my first Master thought only of himself and I could not handle that. That is why I needed a Daddy. Someone who could be caring and loving and spoil me but also could be my Master, rough and strict and "directing". Just depends on how the day goes. Like the other day we were talking cause I was thinking of not telling Daddy that I had had a stressful day. And he said it just depends.."Daddy will always care but most times Master does not." Then he did that cute smile that he does with those gorgeous blue eyes.
  Doms can say they are compassionate but to me they have to show it. And my Daddy has that ability to gauge what mood I might be in and proceed as he sees fit. And if he thinks it is not that bad and we can proceed to play, then play on! That has been the hardest part, to trust that he knows best for both me and us-even when I cannot see that far ahead. Oh I gotta go, I am turning into baby girl mush.
Love,
Zechriel 


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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 5:08:12 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")

If you're asking because you want to know what kind of mistress to be, Des said it best - be yourself.

If you're just wondering what people like, well I like caring and compassionate people in general.  I was already married to a sociopath; I have no desire to attach myself to that kind of personality again.


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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 6:03:03 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I like both in a person, and am happy Sir has both characteristics. I not one that needs or enjoys being pampered. I could not deal with a daddy type persona. I am attracted to emotionally unattached men, and it is something that I lean towards. I am not going to analyze that, it is just me. I do like the occassional pampering though, but not too much.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 6:43:09 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		NEVER EVER would I want a dominant who was simply a bitch. AWFUL Horrible and I personally would despise it and actually I wouldn't ever be with anyone who was a bitch. I need tender loving dominance...

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:35:30 PM   
devotedinSD


Posts: 91
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline 		No, bitches don't work for me

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/6/2009 10:37:53 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")



Shoot. Good catch. I didn't notice that, or I wouldn't have replied at all.


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Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 12:01:39 AM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidnightKat5000

This is a question to for the subbies.  Do you like or prefer a dominant/mistress/owner/what have you that is caring?  Or do you just want her to be the typical bitch without care?



Zechriel

As a novice 20+ years ago, my second and third experiences were with the latter. I left the scene for over 12 years for I made the assumption that everyone in the scene was like that since I found these so-called mistresses, that did not have compassion nor honour in their vocabulary, in a group founded upon safety, honour, and integrity. I have since learned that groups can be right on, but be careful with the individuals.

I prefer a human being who is compassionate and does not fear showing me all sides to her personality for there are some days a Mistress/Dominant needs to be vulnerable and if I cannot reciprocate that compassion I am not worthy of Her. It's a two way street for me.

That does not mean I don't want her to push me beyond my comfort zone, but when that happens I would want aftercare, unlike those early experiences in which my safe word was not honoured. It's that mix of receptivity and softness combined with that Dominant strength that I find so attractive.

quote:

Good evening!
I had to have that, my first Master thought only of himself and I could not handle that. That is why I needed a Daddy. Someone who could be caring and loving and spoil me but also could be my Master, rough and strict and "directing". Just depends on how the day goes. Like the other day we were talking cause I was thinking of not telling Daddy that I had had a stressful day. And he said it just depends.."Daddy will always care but most times Master does not."

That is so sweet. You are lucky and I'm sure your Daddy feels lucky. I know I would want someone who would understand I may need space after a rough day at work. It doesn't mean I cannot be there for them, but I may need to 'decompress' after 'one of those days' where I just need to go home and cry a bit or have a nice cup of tea.


< Message edited by TranceTara -- 2/7/2009 12:06:59 AM >

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 3:01:07 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		My Daddy's have both been wonderful, caring men and I would only consider one with such qualities.

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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 4:11:51 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")



Shoot. Good catch. I didn't notice that, or I wouldn't have replied at all.



Hmm Why?

To the OP, if they didnt care at all then it wouldnt be a relationship really. It would be one person taking advantage of another. There has to be caring but and this is the key for me that caring cant be on their sleeve all the time. I dont cope well with someone who is 'too' nice or 'too' caring. The caring has to be there and I have to know its there enough so that it doesnt have to be expressed all the time.

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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