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Treated like a lady - 2/7/2009 10:57:00 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		I am currently on a chat / contact site as we are searching for someone (won't go into details) but I am quite often contacted by men some of whom are interested in chatting about the "lifestyle".  Over the last couple of days I have chatted to a chap in the US who saw my profile picture and keeps telling me how "hot" I am. We have discussed how things worked in our relationship and to start with he was interested.

After much discussion he has now suggested that I should leave Master so I can be treated "like a lady" iand with respect in a relationship.

I have never considered that I am treated in any other way by Master. He may control most of my life but I know that he still respects me as a person.

Do others think that being a sub means you are not being treated with respect by your Dom?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/7/2009 11:02:30 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		I don't... but I've certainly met those that do.

(in reply to susie)
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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/7/2009 11:23:04 PM   
devotedinSD


Posts: 91
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

.

Do others think that being a sub means you are not being treated with respect by your Dom?


No, but some do and I've met such dominants also.


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Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.

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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/7/2009 11:46:44 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		That does not fit my view but for some lack of respect and humiliation play a large part in dominance.

_____________________________

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


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(in reply to susie)
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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 3:26:49 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Being treated in a mutally ageeable way shows respect , not lack of it, no matter what you are or how you live.

agirl

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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 3:31:59 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldnt want to be treated like a 'lady' It makes me uncomfortable im a girl, but having said that no bollocks am I not treated with respect, if I am then the dude what does it will get a severe tounge lashing

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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 3:38:39 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I am currently on a chat / contact site as we are searching for someone (won't go into details) but I am quite often contacted by men some of whom are interested in chatting about the "lifestyle".  Over the last couple of days I have chatted to a chap in the US who saw my profile picture and keeps telling me how "hot" I am. We have discussed how things worked in our relationship and to start with he was interested.

After much discussion he has now suggested that I should leave Master so I can be treated "like a lady" iand with respect in a relationship.

I have never considered that I am treated in any other way by Master. He may control most of my life but I know that he still respects me as a person.

Do others think that being a sub means you are not being treated with respect by your Dom?


Is this a vanilla site?

If so he's been listening and perving so far but why on earth would he have any understanding? after all he's vanilla isn't he?



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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 4:45:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I am treated with caring and respect. He opens doors, does most of the snow shoveling, takes on the heavier physical work. But most importantly he shows me always that he likes and respects me and my thoughts. He may not agree with me about what is the right decision but he always treats my concerns seriously. And to me that is the highest showing of respect, that he listens to me and believes me.

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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 5:05:27 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I think that (A) we judge--end of story.  What seems like abuse to some, is a loving dynamic to those involved--we judge pure and simple.
 
I also think that (B)--those are canned lines that men think they can use to turn "your pretty little head"--as if you had no substance.

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(in reply to susie)
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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 5:25:51 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Oh hell susie, you know as well as anyone else what he is trying to do. He wants to fuck you and from where he's standing, the only way that will happen is if you 'leave your current man'.

He will say anything, try anything...to get you to doubt your present relationship.

Oldest trick in the fucking book.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 5:43:19 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

be treated "like a lady"


I often wonder if they realize what they are actually offering. I mean living in a big manor house with servants SOUNDS nice, until you take into account that you are never alone, the servants are stealing the silver, flower arranging is not everyone's cup of tea, nor is having tea with those little sandwiches. And being a broodmare til you have the heir and a spare.
Then there is pretending to care about the blatherings of your social peers, port, the wine list, dealing with the dress makers, the weekend gatherings, and the radical isolation that goes with the social standing.

Thanks, I would rather be a woman than a be treated like that. (now to actually BE a lady with a huge dress allowance and (after the boys) freedom to just live on the Riviera "for my health" WOOOOT! if you wanna treat me like THAT kind of lady, drop a note here and i will get back to you!)


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If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 6:07:58 AM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		You hit the nail on the head.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I think that (A) we judge--end of story.  What seems like abuse to some, is a loving dynamic to those involved--we judge pure and simple.
 
I also think that (B)--those are canned lines that men think they can use to turn "your pretty little head"--as if you had no substance.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 6:44:25 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I am treated with respect.
Reading your post OP, brought to mind these type of people who tend to not comprehend a certain lifestyle, or a person's make up. The if only syndrome, that has been around for a long time. If only you had the right man, you wouldnt be a lesbian, if only you found the right Dom you wouldnt be a Domme, if only you had the right man you wouldnt be a submissive/slave; if only  you ... the list goes on.

It is the feeble mind imo that sees things this way. I will not if only them. What is is.

(in reply to califsue)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 6:59:10 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have found many many times that  a lot of malesubs use this line on femsubs because they are the type that want to shower women with the best of everything because they worship all women and think that when women are treated as objects, are controlled, then she must not be getting any respect.

They can't stand to see women treated as anything less than a Goddess in their eyes.

I usually just tell them thank you for their concern and I wish them the best of luck in their search and I move on.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 7:11:18 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Some people are only interested in how they can get the most out of you with least effort. That sounds a lot like the person you described.

Whenever I find myself involved in an already established relationship (the third wheel), I tread very softly because obviously I'm the one who is intruding, so I really feel I have no right to be clogging along telling others that they need to change their ways.


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 7:28:34 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Being submissive doesn't really say much about how I am being treated in my relationship.  However, him treating me like I am his slave is not disrespectful to me.  In fact, it shows his profound respect for who I am.  If he were to "treat me like a lady" and either defer to me or consider this relationship to be egalitarian, then I would not perceive that he respected who I am.

I think that is the problem for some people.  They have this idea of what showing respect looks like and they can't get out of that box.  To treat me in a manner that would ultimately be unfulfilling for me, is showing disrespect for who I am.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 7:49:51 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
To treat me in a manner that would ultimately be unfulfilling for me, is showing disrespect for who I am.

Knight's Kyra


Bingo, Kyra. You nailed exactly what I would have (or at least tried to have!) said. I've run into people who would be horrified at the way my husband treats me during play, but the truth of the matter is that what we do satisfies my soul, and without that, I'd be lost. So the fact that he respects my desires, my wants, my needs - that he is open to satisfying them - shows true gentlemenship, and for it, I wouldn't change it for the world.

And as Fey said, being in a house with servants and all that - sounds nice, but would eventually be a total drag!


< Message edited by T1981 -- 2/8/2009 7:52:19 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 9:06:57 AM   
nicknacks


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		Would a guy who calls you "hot" treat you like a lady? Sounds like he wants to get into your pants.

In my younger days, treating a woman like a lady involved holding doors open for women, giving gifts to them and just generally kissing up to a woman (in simple terms). Perhaps rights movements have changed that view. Today "being treated like a lady" means treating a woman the way she desires to be treated. Does your Master treat you the way you want to be treated and respect your feelings? If so, I think that qualifies as treating you like a lady.

In perspective, I held a door open for a woman as I was entering the workplace and she was surprised. "Thank you! I didn't think guys did that sort of thing anymore. You're such a gentleman." The same evening I held the door open for a different woman as I was exiting, and she glared at me as if she could cut my throat on the spot; she did not say a word. The morning woman felt like she was being treated like a lady, but the evening woman was apparently insulted.

It's up to you to decide how you want to be treated and to find the person who will treat you that way.

(in reply to T1981)
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RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 9:35:48 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

quote:

be treated "like a lady"


I often wonder if they realize what they are actually offering. I mean living in a big manor house with servants SOUNDS nice, until you take into account that you are never alone, the servants are stealing the silver, flower arranging is not everyone's cup of tea, nor is having tea with those little sandwiches. And being a broodmare til you have the heir and a spare.
Then there is pretending to care about the blatherings of your social peers, port, the wine list, dealing with the dress makers, the weekend gatherings, and the radical isolation that goes with the social standing.

Thanks, I would rather be a woman than a be treated like that. (now to actually BE a lady with a huge dress allowance and (after the boys) freedom to just live on the Riviera "for my health" WOOOOT! if you wanna treat me like THAT kind of lady, drop a note here and i will get back to you!)



Not quite what I meant by being treated like a lady!

(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Treated like a lady - 2/8/2009 12:41:44 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		Oh my... My Dominant Master treats me more like a lady than any Vanilla man ever did... So that's my own personal opinion...

_____________________________

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I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

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Profile   Post #: 20
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