RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (Full Version)

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CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/9/2009 11:47:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

Yes,I give mine freely


Barbie,

and yet another in the NO side of the discussion.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/9/2009 11:49:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

My Husband gives me pain and humiliation and i take it...greedily and i ask for more


ranja

Well bless his dominant heart!

CP




Naberius -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/9/2009 1:32:12 PM)

Submission is not a gift, it is an honor given upon the man/woman who is worthy enough to be called that girls/guys dominant. The gift in this case is the submissive/slave who gives themselves to that dominant. 




kallisto -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/9/2009 6:23:40 PM)

I see my submission as a gift.   I give of myself to my Dom because I want to.  Because that's where we are in our relationship.  If I give him me, then I'm giving Him my submission.  Not looking for payback or gifts in return.  No appreciation or "notice" of receiving is required.    I don't freely give myself to just anyone.   I don't give my submission in the hopes that He will give me something in return.    




humbledude64 -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/9/2009 8:42:07 PM)

Submission as a gift, huh?  No, sorry.  But it's fun to think about. 

I say to my Domme, as I kneel at Her feet, "Like a shiny toaster, I give to You my gift of submission."  LOL


I think of submission more as a natural characteristic, like gravity.  Has anybody ever given the gift of gravity?  (And don't say really obese people.)






submittous -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 12:12:41 AM)

When it was a fresh new metaphor, "Submission is a gift" gave insight to some folks, but don't take it literally or you will come to stupid conclusions....




Vendaval -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 1:35:17 AM)

If you cannot wrap it in a box and ship it Fed Ex, then it is not a gift!  [8D]




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 5:52:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I do not see it as any more a gift than two people who have mutually agreed upon a relationship arrangement that works for them.
 
Gifts are good until the return receipt option is played.


Cat,

And then there is always the depreciation factor!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 5:56:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

Within the contect of D/s, is submission a gift given freely or not?


The pleasure of having a successful relationship that includes the aspects that we desire in our interactions with one another is a gift, but it is a gift that all members of the relationship share freely with one another -- it doesn't weigh the contributions of one party over that of another.

IMO neither dominant behavior nor submissive behavior, in and of themselves, are "gifts" -- they only flourish in concert, and the idea that one is more 'special' or more worthy of special significance than the other is illogical. Dominance and submission are simply aspects of a human personality. What may be a gift to one person may easily be a PITA and extra work to someone else -- so the idea that submission is a gift, or that dominance is a gift is, to me, one more bit of hooey designed to make oneself seem extra important, and often to justify behaviors, attitudes, and actions that belie the relationship that they are -supposed- to be representing.



Calla,

Damn, I have not seen the term "hooey used in decades!

thanks for your thoughts on the question.

CP




Amaros -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 10:44:16 AM)

I don't really have a problem with it, it's a ritual thing, goes back to Feudalism, i.e., it's similar to swearing fealty to a particular lord, it's a pledge of service.

Technically, it is more of a bargain, or an arrangement, but certainly, surrendering your freedom is a pretty big deal, so I sympathize with those who like to play up the nobility angle a little, why not? Whatever spins your propeller.

If it's something you're going to hold over my head, then it isn't a gift, it's extortion, and I have, on occasion, been prompted to say: "what gift? I'm doing all the work", lol.




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 11:40:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

Nah, I don't view submission as a gift.  It might be an "honor" of sorts when someone trusts another with their vulnerability etc, and I do think there should be an appreciation for that level of trust, but I wouldn't call it a gift.  
marie2,

that is a really nice manner of explaining it / thanks for the thought!

CP




windchymes -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/10/2009 2:33:19 PM)

My opinion is, if the recipient views it as a gift, then it is.




hardbodysub -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 8:24:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

If I find a man under Christmas tree wrapped in ribbon with bow then submissive is gift.
If I must seek a man in the mens dorm building and grab him by his hair and pull him down and walk on him then is not gift, but more fun. ;-)



I agree, a LOT more fun!




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 10:29:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Thanks for your thoughts, they read so well till I came to the conditional part; but i do know where your coming from.!

CP


I've been "unconditional" before.  It didn't work out so well.  So I wrote given where I am now, which is a state of transition.  Maybe that will change in time.  Maybe it won't...I really don't know.  But right now I'm all I've got, and I have to look out for myself.  The idea of giving over everything unconditionally leaves me thinking that leaves me too vulnerable to the pain I went through, which is not something I want to repeat.  I have found there is a line within me and when it's crossed my emotions change and I pull back forever.

Perhaps in my future there will be someone who brings me to that unconditional place again, but  I have no crystal ball and simply do not know.  It would have to be something pretty damned special, though.  But this is why I no longer identify as a slave (as I define slave to be).   I'm just not willing to go through that again at this time.

NV,

Indeed  busted trust is a major bummer, but holding it back from another tends to cheat you both.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 10:33:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Within the contect of D/s, is submission a gift given freely or not?


this slave believes it to be wholly subjective.  it could be any number of things depending on the perspective of the individual's experience.
 
considering all of this slave's experiences, submission has been:
a blessing
a curse
a gift
a knee-jerk reaction
something this slave was trained to do as a wee one
the "wrong" thing to do, at the time
a choice she made within the context of an intimate relationship at age 36
a source of pain and anguish
the "right" thing to do, at the time
a source of fulfillment and ecstasy
a way to comfortably and genuinely relate to others
etc.


beth,

Well the above may be true, but with a simple yes or no it gets easier!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 10:35:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

No, my submission is not a gift, It's not given freely you must earn it,* the generic you, not you CP* and then prove you deserve to keep it, with your words and your actions.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

There have been some posts that danced around this subject but unless I missed it, it has not been recently. Every day another couple of dozen folks come into CM with varied take of the subject. It is of little consequence for the pupose of this thread which side of the slash your on. What is of some import is your feelings on the subject.

Within the contect of D/s, is submission a gift given freely or not?

What say you A/all?

CP



Your hand,

Must earn it??? Now there is a whole new thread!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 10:38:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Naberius

Submission is not a gift, it is an honor given upon the man/woman who is worthy enough to be called that girls/guys dominant. The gift in this case is the submissive/slave who gives themselves to that dominant. 


Naberius,

an Honor??

Now that is an interesting consideration.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 10:42:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

If you cannot wrap it in a box and ship it Fed Ex, then it is not a gift!  [8D]


Vendaval,

But your disregarding the eyebal to eyeball interactions.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 10:45:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

I don't really have a problem with it, it's a ritual thing, goes back to Feudalism, i.e., it's similar to swearing fealty to a particular lord, it's a pledge of service.

Technically, it is more of a bargain, or an arrangement, but certainly, surrendering your freedom is a pretty big deal, so I sympathize with those who like to play up the nobility angle a little, why not? Whatever spins your propeller.

If it's something you're going to hold over my head, then it isn't a gift, it's extortion, and I have, on occasion, been prompted to say: "what gift? I'm doing all the work", lol.



Amaros,

I am for a time without a propeller, but reference the work angle, trust me as you get older you learn to better compensate!

CP




Amaros -> RE: A gift! is it thus or not? (2/11/2009 11:08:27 AM)

How much older do I have to get?




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