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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/12/2009 11:32:37 AM   
blacksword404


Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy

I was at a BDSM function with some friends (of varied ethnic/racial backgrounds) and a caucasian Master walked by with his black female slave. Some of my black friends told me that seeing a white master and black slave disturbed them.

I've recently met a black woman who wants to be my slave and I was wondering how this would be handled in public situations. Are there different rules in black/white D/s situations that are different from D/s relations where both partners are of the same ethnic/racial background?


Most people are not going to care that you are dating or going out with a black woman. Why should they? Now if you drag her around half naked in public with shackles on, I would think people will have a problem with it. Some will think you might have brainwashed her or something. Some might think something might be wrong with her to allow someone to do that to her. Most will think something is definitely wrong with you to want to do that to somebody. And most important reason. People seeing a white man dragging around a black slave in public will remind people of the past (like ripping open a scabbed over sore). What you do in private is your business. If you bring that out into public, well thats another story.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/12/2009 3:28:33 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		What I was thinking about when I originally posted this was that with some of my Black friends who I play with, we do racially sensitive play in private. Some of it very extreme; but in public we tone it down a lot. Of course, up to this point I've always been the submissive. So I have experience from that side and I know the public limits.

My question is from the other side. In private, I'll take it as far as she wants. But in public, I'm not sure of the boundaries. Or it's a little fuzzy. As pointed out, because of the way the different races are treated in our society, reactions could be different. I remember that controversy with Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg. Privately, the two of them understood it was harmless satire. Publicly, Ted Danson was nailed to the cross.

That's what I'm getting at.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 6:35:18 AM   
ISOHOH49


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/20/2007
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I believe that the person that made the comment would be upset seeing a black woman and a white male together no matter what. So people both black and white feel that it is ok to be friends with those outside your race but not to date them.

I was once told by a black guy that if a black woman date a whte man that she would be ruined for life and no other black male would ever want her. But it was ok if a blace male dated a white woman.

My first Sir was white and the one that I have just met is white. The first one lasted for 4 years and this on is just in the early stage. I picked them base on their personality and the fact that we felt a connection to one another.

I'm sure that we will get looks from people both black and white that do not believe in mixing the race.

No, the rules are the same. Personally I don't do Humiliation at all so race play would not be for me. For me it is never acceptable to display to much in public no matter what. If your are at a play party I still don't think it would be ok to do a hard race play because you are going to make others uncomfortable. Calling her a black bitch or saying you are my pretty black sult and having her call you Master, I see no ploblem with that. But the N word should not be used in public play, This is to be done at home for the 2 of you.

It seem that your friend have a problem. Ask her how she feel about black men having a white slave, more than likely she will not have a problem with this and she will give you some bs answer about how he is the dom. one.

In the end it is up to the people in the relationship and to hell with everyone else.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 7:29:55 AM   
LunaVenus


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Joined: 1/4/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy

I remember that controversy with Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg. Privately, the two of them understood it was harmless satire. Publicly, Ted Danson was nailed to the cross.

That's what I'm getting at.


Where you live, I doubt you would suffer any negative ramifiacations on your job, etc for dating a black woman. I would only suggest you not treat her like a slave in public. Or as someone else responded....that might provoke public angst or bar room brawls. This would happen because others would think she was in an abusive relationship and needed rescuing or either you were  being horribly politically incorrect for acting like a master.

I really understand your  concerns because I am half Berber and half Italian.  So I am in an interracial relationship with ANYONE I date. Because  I have yet to meet anyone else of my mixture. So everyone is different than me LOL

Speaking of which, the potential dynamic in an interracial relationship is POWERFUL. The two of you can adapt a responsive attitude of "us against the opponents" That us against them attitude can glue you together for decades.

< Message edited by LunaVenus -- 2/13/2009 7:37:17 AM >

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 7:52:03 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy
But in public, I'm not sure of the boundaries. Or it's a little fuzzy. As pointed out, because of the way the different races are treated in our society, reactions could be different. I remember that controversy with Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg. Privately, the two of them understood it was harmless satire. Publicly, Ted Danson was nailed to the cross.

That's what I'm getting at.
Well, we do all bear a burden of being social creatures, and as such, we have to maintain a minimum of decorum so as to not be in constant battle with everyone around us...   As such, the backlash Woopy and Ted received, was well deserved.      BDSM relationships are fairly flexible, and depending on where you are, race play may be perfectly acceptable, and welcomed in public.   

I think it's your responsibility as a dominant, IMO, to find your (yours and hers) boundaries when playing in public, depending on where you are, and how open folks are about the play you intend to engage in...   IMO, being the dominant, she should not be able to force your hand, if you do not feel comfortable engaging in certain types of play publically.     I'm a dominant, and I would not be comfortable engaging in race play publically, because I don't get my jollies from shocking, and otherwise making uncomfortable the majority of people around me.    M

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 5:39:18 PM   
LordRiga


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		WELL THEN IF THE BLACK MEN HAVE ISSUES WITH A WHITE MAN OWNING A BLACK WOMEN PERHAPS THEY SHOULD LEAVE THE WHITE WOMEN ALONE THEMSELVES, CANT HAVE A TWO SIDED STANDARD...

JUST LIKE THE "N" WORD AMAZING WHO CAN USE IT AND YET THEY FEEL NO INSULT WORKS BOTH WAYS... YOU EITHER A HYPOCRITE OR DEAL WITH IT...

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 5:56:43 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		"Are there different rules in black/white D/s situations that are different from D/s relations where both partners are of the same ethnic/racial background?:

Uhm, I say no.  But then again, all my relationships (vanilla and otherwise) have ended up interracial.  He and I have an odd relationship, where nothing is taboo.  Say what you want as long as its all honesty, and no fluff and filler. 

If you think that something you may do might upset onlookers, hold off on it till you are around those who you KNOW wont be offended, or alone. 


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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 9:07:54 PM   
blacksword404


Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LordRiga

JUST LIKE THE "N" WORD AMAZING WHO CAN USE IT AND YET THEY FEEL NO INSULT WORKS BOTH WAYS... YOU EITHER A HYPOCRITE OR DEAL WITH IT...



This is another matter entirely. I can call my sister a slut with no hurt feelings from her. If you do you might have her 3 brothers visiting you.
If you are not part of the family then the rules are different for you.
To sit around crying 'why can't I call her a slut like you do?" Makes no sense.

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/13/2009 9:23:58 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404
This is another matter entirely. I can call my sister a slut with no hurt feelings from her. If you do you might have her 3 brothers visiting you.
If you are not part of the family then the rules are different for you.
To sit around crying 'why can't I call her a slut like you do?" Makes no sense.
Chris Rock had a hillarious routine about this...   "If I could only say that word!"     I don't use the word myself, but don't fight about it when it comes from family or a very close friend.     M

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/14/2009 9:20:06 AM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		In my situation when I am the white submissive to a black Dominatrix, she actually wanted me to use the "N" word just so she can kick me in the balls. She knows I'll use the word as part of our agreed upon scenario and I in turn know she will be slamming those stillettos home.

The scenario of course isn't done in public. And I don't normally use that type of language. But it was a scenario that she wanted and was scripted ahead of time.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/14/2009 10:41:27 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

being an interracial BDSM couple is no different than being one on the vanilla side.  you're always going to get snide and stereotypical remarks from either side of the racial fence. 

in my experience, i've been told that having a white Daddy is "brining my race down" to "why are you reverting back to slave days of our ancestors" and the ever popular "you're simply not black enough to be black".  "you got jungle fever" - is also my favorite.

on the flipside, sometimes i get (from white males) "is it true that black women are highly sexual in bed than white women?" or "do all black men have huge monster cocks (as if i should know ...never dated within my own race before)" and "do you have a problem being seen with a white man"?

i have no problems dating outside my race ...in fact my first marriage was interracial and my upcoming one in 2010 will be interracial too. yes, it's disheartening to see that most black folks haven't overcome that "they owe us for over 300yrs of slavery" crap. no one owes us anything. i don't see Daddy (or my pet) as a white man ...i see Him as a man who's compatible to my personality, interests and etc. He could have purple with pink and green poka dots for all i care but it still make Him compatible to me.

until we start breaking these racial barriers and walls, nothing's ever going to change how we view each other as human beings.


I'm curious if the reason that you have never dated within your own race before is because you just haven't met anybody of your race who you felt was compatible?  Also, if he was of your race, & not purple with pink and green polka dots, would you feel the same?

My Daddy & his wife are both Black, but I rarely mention that fact, nor do I think about it much.  I have dated most etnicities available on the planet over the years because I don't really pay much attention to outsides of folks.  I do understand that His Evilness' race makes his insides different due to life experiences walking around in his beautiful brown skin.  And I think that there is probably some sort of influence in our D/s relationship that can be attributed to our racial differences, since I'm about as white as white gets.  And not just the color of my skin, but my upbringing in white bread suburbia also.  But I was also raised & still believe that the measure of a human is not in the skin tone but in the ethics, morals & values.

To the OP, I think that your feelings for this girl should trump whatever anybody else thinks about your racial differences.  F**k em if they can't take a joke!! 

_____________________________

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/14/2009 12:10:25 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordRiga

WELL THEN IF THE BLACK MEN HAVE ISSUES WITH A WHITE MAN OWNING A BLACK WOMEN PERHAPS THEY SHOULD LEAVE THE WHITE WOMEN ALONE THEMSELVES, CANT HAVE A TWO SIDED STANDARD...

JUST LIKE THE "N" WORD AMAZING WHO CAN USE IT AND YET THEY FEEL NO INSULT WORKS BOTH WAYS... YOU EITHER A HYPOCRITE OR DEAL WITH IT...



Fella, do you realize that it's rude to post in all caps?  Please use the lower case letters as well when you post.

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/14/2009 1:26:27 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		I have to agree with others who stated that it's yours and your sub/slave's comfort level.  My Sir and I have not experienced any negative issues, although we don't attend BDSM events.  We're not into race play so that may make a difference as well.  The only "play" events we've had are with mutual friends and those relationships are for the most part, interracial as well.

If you believe a situation may occur during an event or play party, you may want to abstain from using certain words or phrases.  Or, on the other hand, be prepared to deal with any issues that may arise.





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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/15/2009 12:00:58 AM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline 		I find this thread interesting since I'm new and the majority of the responses I've gotten are from white men and all the responses i've gotten from white men have not made any mention of skin color.  I have dated both white and black, married to a black man, but when with white men I bring up the color thing as a joke because I know it can be daunting to them.  So I usually ask something like if they like chocolate.  This normally breaks the ice and we go from there.

I would suggest as everyone else suggests, DO NOT take her out in shackles and a collar or yes there might be problems.  And to the gent going on about not using the N word.  The proper definition of that word is not a black person but an ignorant person. That being the case, I use that word to describe ANYONE being ignorant. Not just other black people and I have several of my black friends who do the same.  This is our small part to get people to stop equating that word with a black person.  You wanna call me something..call me chocolate or caramel (the exact shade of my skin) and we'll be fine. Besides what sub wouldn't want to be equated with candy...mmmm lickable.

< Message edited by MMagic -- 2/15/2009 12:01:31 AM >

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/15/2009 11:41:35 AM   
LordRiga


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Absolutely nothing wrong with a White Man owning several black slaves, not like they will be picking cotton anytime soon any longer.. All the black men want is token white girls because they do everything when the black women dont. But nothing wrong with their slavery.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/16/2009 2:24:17 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordRiga
All the black men want is token white girls because they do everything when the black women dont. But nothing wrong with their slavery.
How do you know what all black men want, and what black women won't do?    Might be time to pull head out of arse, and avoid speaking in generalities, especially when you clearly don't know of what you speak.    M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/16/2009 4:34:15 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		there are several reasons why i never dated inside my race but i'll give you two (1) how i grew up and (2) the way i present myself as a woman.  i won't say all but many that i've become friends with don't want to date me because i grow up in around or in mix racial neighborhoods, i was taught to speak English (not Ebonics or slang) and groomed to be a lady (yep did the debutante thing and all that). 

most of my life i've lived in a white neighborhood, went to the best schools in that area, surrounded myself with white, hispanic, and asian friends (i had a few black ones) and plus most of my relatives are white or bi-racial. i was even consider a "white" woman while attending an all-black university. none of my friends and roommate have ever met a cultured person like me.

so that's where "i'm too white for my own race" comes from.  many see me as a "white" woman and not as a Black woman. ironically, in the neighborhood i live now, i'm viewed as a "white" woman because i don't sit on the porch smoking, drinking or have loud parties all weekend long.  in my neigborhood, men avoid me like the plague ...women despise me.

finding a black man compatible to me is like finding a needle in the haystack. i've been on other dating sites ...yes they'll talk a good game but most just want/expect sex after the first date. many don't want a woman who's independent, speaks her mind, etc etc - some take that Bible verse to heart - "wives obey your husbands in all things" and skip the rest. they want to be in charge  "do as i say, woman, not as i do".

IF Daddy was Black, good question. i believe we wouldn't have the same D/s dynamic as we do now. it would be a long and gradual process to reach where we are currently.

lastly, i do agree there is a double standard within the Black community. no one jumps on famous sport figures when they're strutting around town with a white woman on their arm. yet if it was a black woman with a white man, immediately it's the "she's bringing down our race ...what an embarassment ...couldn't she find a brother instead of that honky...." gripes.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/16/2009 4:36:21 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

fr

Personally, i do not have the time or the energy to care what others think

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/16/2009 4:46:42 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
I'm curious if the reason that you have never dated within your own race before is because you just haven't met anybody of your race who you felt was compatible? 


Despite the question not being directed towards me, as a black woman who only dates white men (maybe a mix of Hispanic or Asian) I can say that a lot of the reasons sambamanslilgirl listed are true. It doesn't really endear you to people when they shun you because you don't listen to rap music, wear bling and Baby Phat and talk in slang. And then, they have the nerve to think it's ok for a black man to date a white woman but if a black woman dates a white man she's a traitor? It's a conquest if a man does it, apparently.

But none of that matters, in the end for me it all boils down to I'm just not attracted to them even if they were ghetto-rific. It's just a turn off. Some people say it's "racist" not to want to date black men. But no one calls issues when someone says "blonds only" or "petite girls only." Pftt.

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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/16/2009 5:26:50 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		OP, if you listen carefully at munches I am sure that you will hear other judgmental comments.  I recently had a Master comment to me that he felt that a relationship was wrong because the slave attended the munch in sweatpants and her hair pulled back in a ponytail so she obviously didn't honor her Master.  People enjoy being opinionated.

How important are the munches to you?  If you don't get the support that you feel that you and your sub need at one, could you go to one where people are more open minded?  My father (Caucasian) married a black woman almost 30 years ago and things were much tougher then than they are now.  There were times that people wanted to start a fist fight with him simply for going out to a public restaurant with her.  She is the best thing that ever happened to him and I'm glad that they didn't allow outside pressures to do anything to destroy their relationship.


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