sambamanslilgirl
Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007 From: Chicago, IL Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1 quote:
ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl there are several reasons why i never dated inside my race but i'll give you two (1) how i grew up and (2) the way i present myself as a woman. i won't say all but many that i've become friends with don't want to date me because i grow up in around or in mix racial neighborhoods, i was taught to speak English (not Ebonics or slang) and groomed to be a lady (yep did the debutante thing and all that). It's a good thing you said this yourself. Must be a burden having to go through life constantly needing to prove that you are more like white folks and therefore not as uncouth as the rest of the people who look like you. who said i had the need to prove myself more like white folks? i would rather have my own identity like oldest has now when i was her age. however my parents joined the clubs and i got tagged along for the ride. i HATED living in the "bubble". to me it wasn't real but i had to play the role and act the part because it was the "in" to do - join the right clubs, have the right friends and be as your parents hope you become. quote:
most of my life i've lived in a white neighborhood, went to the best schools in that area, surrounded myself with white, hispanic, and asian friends (i had a few black ones) and plus most of my relatives are white or bi-racial Congratulations on having a diverse upbringing. Were you at that time equal in behavior to those neighbors, or were all of them proper acting, except the few black ones? neighbors liked me because i was a well-behaved (sometimes even better than own kids) child who didn't cause trouble or bring down the property values ...because my parents were both working and kept their property liveable and manicured. where i grew up - appearance was (and still is) everything. quote:
so that's where "i'm too white for my own race" comes from. many see me as a "white" woman and not as a Black woman. ironically, in the neighborhood i live now, i'm viewed as a "white" woman because i don't sit on the porch smoking, drinking or have loud parties all weekend long. in my neigborhood, men avoid me like the plague ...women despise me. I wonder if they view you as a white woman, or whether it is you viewing yourself as a white woman, because you think only black people do this. you need to hang around my neighborhood sometimes. not a day goes by when i hear "hey white woman! where are you going today ...off to the library? hey can i date your white um?" it's wrong for you to presume that i'm viewing myself as a white woman - actually i'm multi-racial. i'm raising my girls almost (sans the debutante / teas crap) the same way i was - to be educated and cultured young women. quote:
finding a black man compatible to me is like finding a needle in the haystack. i've been on other dating sites ...yes they'll talk a good game but most just want/expect sex after the first date. many don't want a woman who's independent, speaks her mind, etc etc - some take that Bible verse to heart - "wives obey your husbands in all things" and skip the rest. they want to be in charge "do as i say, woman, not as i do" I've dated black and white, and I don't allow our differences to make me feel superior or inferior... I'm just me, and I rather like sharing differences, in an honest, mutually respectful relationship. I doubt it's your grasp of English that is keeping you from dating black men. I think maybe it's that they sense that you look down at them as less than you (since you're only half black), and therefore not fit to own your only half black self. As for the bible verse, wouldn't that make you extra compatible with black men, since you are submissive or slave to your man? i've never looked down on my Black men - have never found one who is compatible to me and meets my standards. as for the Bible verse, i'm marrying my pet - he'll obey me. and it wouldn't make me any compatible with a black man simply because i'm black and submissive. i don't mix religion with BDSM and vice versa. quote:
I've not been all over the US, but know that in those counties around DC, and any other city for that matter, where there are high net worth black families, you wouldn't feel too "cultured." And what makes you think that growing up around whites, and learning about that culture makes you more "cultured" or relevant than any other group and their culture? cultured as in going to art museums, operas, plays, musicials - my parents devoted time to my upbringing ...giving me a well-round childhood. it has nothing to do with growing up in a white neighborhood - i just happened to attend the best schools where i was the noticeable minority amongst the student population. i never grew up where the majority was Black. i never attend schools (until college) were i was the majority. Black History wasn't taught in my schools ...that was an extra credit assignment. i learned about everyone else's culture and history except my own. quote:
I'm also curious as to why you and your cultured self, live in such a poor neighborhood now with people doing nothing, except playing loud music and sitting outside smoking. I'm not in a wealthy neighborhood, and the blacks and hispanics here don't live that way. M that's your city or neighborhood. i live in Chicago and why i live in a "poor" neighborhood - well, really it's none of your business but i'll answer to satisfy your curious mind. the rents here are high - the 2 bedroom i live now would be 4 times high in a upscale neighborhood. affordable housing is an oxymoronic phrase around here. it might be a "poor" neighborhood but at least i'm walking distance my youngest charter school ...public transportation runs 24/7 and close to the hospital in case my oldest needs emergency care. at the present, i'm planning to move and since i don't have a car - looking for a place near public transportation.
< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 2/16/2009 10:09:41 AM >
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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well... ...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...
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