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Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:12:29 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I was just released from my relationship as a slave. It was done via email and came as a total shock.

I have asked for a final face to face meeting for a graceful exit to the relationship. I do not plan on asking to be taken back, I just want a chance for a healthy conclusion. We were together for 14 months, I did things for him that I never believed I could have been strong enough to do (especially emotionally) and I feel that I need the face to face and chance to ask whether I had been a good slave as a closure.

This was my first real time relationship as a slave, so my first dismissal. I went through the common emotions of shock, anger, fear, sadness, and yet this morning work up feeling peaceful. I knew that things had been less fulfilling for me and that I was making a lot of excuses in my mind for him. I believe that I can find a more healthy relationship even though I loved my Master dearly and have many fond memories of our time together.

My question is this: Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful? Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.

Post #: 1

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:31:21 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

My gut reaction is that the face-to-face is not going to give you the "closure" you desire. You are the only one who can give that to yourself.

His way of ending things was, in my book, less than honorable. What makes you think he is going to be honorable in person? I would just walk and not look back.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 2

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:33:41 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Thank you, Cali. I was beginning to feel that way myself.

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Post #: 3

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:40:03 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

When my sir broke it off over the summer(we're back together now), i knew something was up. I voiced displeasure with his behviors and then i didnt hear from him for a weekend. He pretty much brok off there. Saying he didnt want to disappoint me when we were together. He found it away to get his thoughts together. I did ask to see him and we met briefly. Did it help me? I dont know. But i did it to make him "man up". I dont think they should be let off that easily. However, Being the hypocrite that i am, i did the same thing to someone and broke up through e-mail. i didnt see a point in getting together and I thought it would be hard saving face when you are being broke up with in public.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 4

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:47:01 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I have as a Waitress years ago seen husbands take their wives to dinner and then tell her he was leaving her. So there is a hysterical woman at a fine dining restuarant. So in person may not be so honorable. Especially when the person has been blindsided.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 5

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:48:03 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

luscious, that's part of what I'm looking for. I expected that our relationship would go on for years, but by this point I have found out about so many lies that it is most likely that I would only hear more.

_____________________________

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 6

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:52:17 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

My question is this: Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful? Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.

Personally, i would not want that if he ended the relationship via e-mail. For one thing, it would be too hard not to inform him he is a coward (apologies if i offend, but that is the way i see it). Secondly, my pride would prevent it.

Best of luck in whatever choice you make, Chamberqueen.

_____________________________

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(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 7

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:54:51 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

luscious, that's part of what I'm looking for. I expected that our relationship would go on for years, but by this point I have found out about so many lies that it is most likely that I would only hear more.

Just chalk it up to a learning experience and make sure those in the future wont get away with the lies. Since my online 'dating" beginnings I have learned to be very shrewed.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 8

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:04:38 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Face to face won't give you the answers you seek, if you don't already know them.

I think deep down you do know you were a good slave, and since he has released you anyway, he has nullified the importance of his opinion on the matter.

He may have very little insight into himself, you, or his reasons for the breakup. Or he may not be able to convey his reasons without things deteriorating into a regrettable encounter. So, skip it.

Move forward, and ENJOY your freedom.

_____________________________

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(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 9

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:06:37 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

this slave votes for:

walk away and consider it a relationship that ended.

(intentionally leaving out the "good" and the "badly")

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 10

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:13:09 AM

AnthaFW

Posts: 12
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I was just released from my relationship as a slave. It was done via email and came as a total shock.

Greetings chamberqueen,

I am sorry to hear of your release from your relationship. My personal opinion is also it was done in a very dishonourable way.

I can understand your need for closure - I do not know if he stated his reasons to you in the email , but if it was just a blunt goodbye and no reasons then this would make anyone wonder.

Personally, I think a face to face meeting would achieve very little, for you because a "Master" who has not the courage to end a relationship face to face will hardly have the courage to meet following its ending for closure.

I hope you continue to find the inner strength to move onwards and upwards, remember the good times and remember how the not so good times made you feel also.

Be well

Antha

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 11

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:15:17 AM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

this slave votes for:

walk away and consider it a relationship that ended.

(intentionally leaving out the "good" and the "badly")

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 12

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:20:00 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

When my former master (the only one I ever had before Cuffkinks), broke it off with me via email, I never contacted him again. He even said he would recommend me to another master- HAH! I thought it cowardly and hypocritical- after gaining my trust, love and service. I felt stupid and manipulated and never had the desire to re-visit that state.

A face-to-face will not give you closure, just another opportunity for him to hurt you. Close the door, step away from the computer (or phone), have a glass of wine and count your good fortune that you did not waste a few more years on this poser.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
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(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 13

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:24:33 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
My question is this: Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful? Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.

Like Cali, my first thought is 'closure'. So if thats good for you and you need it, then do it.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 14

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:29:37 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

First of all, I am so sorry---what a fkng dickweed---geesus, grow some balls guys.

Now, wow---you probably deserve a face to face, but someone who pulls that crap doesn't have near the backbone or strength you do---so ask for it, but don't expect it and be ready to close it when it doesn't happen.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 15

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:38:44 AM

frazzle121

Posts: 116
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

Had the same happen to me 10 days ago. I already knew things were not right,I'd asked for some thinking time to see if i could get my head round things. Seems I took too long, i hadn't appeared online by lunch time the next day. I certainly didnt expect an email saying you arent online so remove your collar. We were real time not online.
Even a phone call would have been better.

Dont meet, not worth it. Re-focus and put it down to experience. Anyone who uses email or text to end things, isnt worth the time.

< Message edited by frazzle121 -- 2/11/2009 10:39:50 AM >

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 16

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:38:47 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I have asked for it, he told me he was too angry and that it would happen when he felt more sure that the meeting would be a good one. I am not pushing for it, and have decided that if he never contacts me again that it just proves his dishonor. I've started a new profile, am trying to move on, and most of all trying to remember that I did my absolute best to please him and have no reason to feel ashamed - no matter how cruel the dismissal was and how my gut reaction was to feel totally undesirable and like a colossal failure.

_____________________________

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 17

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 10:55:36 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I have asked for it, he told me he was too angry and that it would happen when he felt more sure that the meeting would be a good one. I am not pushing for it, and have decided that if he never contacts me again that it just proves his dishonor. I've started a new profile, am trying to move on, and most of all trying to remember that I did my absolute best to please him and have no reason to feel ashamed - no matter how cruel the dismissal was and how my gut reaction was to feel totally undesirable and like a colossal failure.

If he is angry and you didn't have a clue...it seems as though the 2 of you weren't on the same page as far as communication went.

I am not inferring blame; just an observation.

Find ways to nurture yourself and your many gifts.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 18

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 11:12:45 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I am sorry this happened. he is not worth your time . If you feel the need to meet him for clousure i think you shoud.. iI is not necessary as you said he lied to you before. I would just write him off as a learning experience. From what you say it is nothing you did wrong so don't blame yourself. You seem to have things pretty much under control, but if you need someone to talk to hit me up on C mail.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 19

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 11:13:19 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Ladies, Chamberqueen and Frazzle, you have my utmost sympathy, it's a wretched thing to experience. My viewpoint is in the minority. Some years ago I was four days from being married, had put a deposit on a house for us, my beautiful dress was being made (all this from my own personal funds until he was able to relocate from Mancs to the south coast when he was supposed to provide recompense for his share of the costs) and I was also pregnant with his child. He did a disappearing act on me, it wasn't until some days later that I discovered he'd returned to the wife whose existence I was in ignorance of. The day he disappeared he'd done so in a way that deliberately led me to believe he was dead - several days later I miscarried our baby due to the trauma I endured. He had dumped his mobile phones, left the job he was employed at and to this day I have not had the satisfaction of looking him in the face and telling him of the destruction he reaped on my life. I believe it is too damn easy to simply 'walk away' and end a relationship via email/text, phone call, etc... that way they can maintain an emotional distance.

Ladies, heal well, be kind to yourselves and know that there are a tremendous amount of honest, decent and responsible people to share your life with.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 20

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