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RE: Being Released - 2/13/2009 7:40:31 PM

jstmi

Posts: 85
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

chamberqueen
i am so sorry , yes that was cruel, especially if Y/you are real time. it's weird how it seems to be ok to be treated like sh** and expected to understand and have closure. personally i would walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly. pain hurts too much to stay anyway.

when one hurts another just because they can, it is wrong on all counts i feel.
be well
jstmi

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 61

RE: Being Released - 2/13/2009 7:55:32 PM

BIGLOVENJ

Posts: 23
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

Being released is is a nice way of saying the slave was cast out because it ceased to be of any value to its owner. Lets face it you cant sell the slave or you'd be in dutch with the law. So you throw it out like useless garbage. Now we have all heard stories about the master being ill and not being able to "train" the slave yadda yadda yadda. I think thats a crock because if I was sick even terminally ill I wouldnt cast out valuable human property when I can use to to bring me comfort. Bottom line release = worthless. It is the worst thing that could happen to a slave.

(in reply to frazzle121)

Post #: 62

RE: Being Released - 2/13/2009 8:02:39 PM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

there is a huge difference between asking for release and being released, you are so right. asking for release is just (ok sometimes) the inevitable ending of a relationship. being released is so much harsher, so much more damaging to both people.

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to BIGLOVENJ)

Post #: 63

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 12:17:29 AM

shanaya

Posts: 24
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline

All I can add since I think all of the above says it all really, is that my ex Dominant REALLY hurt me, cut me deeply and I cut all contact after several weeks, today of all days Valentines Day he contacts me. Did it make my pain less ? Did it provide some sense of comfort ? no it just re opened the wound which was desperately trying to heal. I know he meant well but it didn't help me in anyway, maybe it will in the future but I can honestly say it doesn't feel great right now.

For me closure is when I have finally put the hurt behind me and I am enjoying life to the full again with no Man beside me ready to begin anew and I have regained my Passion for life. As I'm yet to ever find comfort from the source of the Pain, so I just don't go there. Yet everyone is different and percieves things differently so not knowing you personally I cannot say what is best for "you". Maybe follow your instinct it rarely steers us wrong :)

I wish you the best whatever you choose :)

Shanaya

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 64

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 1:06:52 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I was just released from my relationship as a slave. It was done via email and came as a total shock.

I'm very sorry to hear chamberqueen,
that you we're treated with no respect.
To find a good closure, I would advice you to write a letter
in which you tell him everything you still wanted to say,
but never post it.

paper is patient hon, and it's good to close it good for yourself.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 65

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 5:10:16 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Bottom line release = worthless. It is the worst thing that could happen to a slave.

Untrue. In some cases release = loser master. It is the best thing that could happen to a slave.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BIGLOVENJ)

Post #: 66

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 5:56:44 AM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

He showed you what a coward he was by ending it in an email. I suspect, though, it hurts now, that in time, you will find he did you a favor. You have learned new things, found you are capable of more than you thought you were. You have probably even learned things that will help you find yourself a much better man to serve the next time. I find it better to just write on paper what I am feeling, then take it to a safe place & burn it.

I hope you will take some time to heal & learn to be with yourself in a nice & quiet place for little little while. May you heal quickly.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 67

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 8:13:50 AM

weleda

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Bottom line release = worthless. It is the worst thing that could happen to a slave.

Untrue. In some cases release = loser master. It is the best thing that could happen to a slave.

Yes, yes!

:)

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 68

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 12:09:54 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

I am so sorry for your troubles and he should have been a man to tell you face to face rather than email. At least during my last breakup, that is what my ex-dom did to me and he has always been honest with me, which is why I am still friends with him today.

I would have to wonder why he is still angry with you. If there was something that was wrong, then he should have told you rather than go behind the cold, impersonal email. At this time, when the emotions are very raw and painful, I would rather move on and not meet him face to face. I know for myself, just seeing an ex after a recent breakup only leads to painful memories. Go out with friends, give yourself some time, treat yourself to a makeover or whatever will make you feel better and just move on.

I always feel that beneath the trolls and the domaflakes, there has to be one dom who can be compatible for you. I am always an optimist thinking there is someone out there who will love you.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 2/14/2009 12:12:05 PM >

(in reply to feydeplume)

Post #: 69

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 12:36:37 PM

immoral

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline

Quite some time ago now O/our relationship ended....and dealing wih the thought that we wont ever have contact again has been difficult,at least for me.
..................................but you know theres a wisdom from the older ladies in your life when you are able to see it.
my Mother who is sadly no longer with me used to say " dont ever make a person your first priority, if you arent theirs"............actions really do speak louder than words.........you are BETTER than this..not that i know you or your life....but maybe you know this,judging only what ihave read the best thing is to have been released..he couldnt be a Master to you, he doesnt even have the nuts to have mastery over himself ,you obviously have outgrown him...as the *girls* would say " leave it !! eees not worf it!"

(in reply to corsetgirl)

Post #: 70

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 12:42:53 PM

slavemira

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

To find a good closure, I would advice you to write a letter
in which you tell him everything you still wanted to say,
but never post it.

Great advice Goddess (as usual)

ChamberQueen - if mira may also offer you some.... be good to yourself, do something "unsub" like, spend time with your friends - eat chocolate - buy shoes - do anything that makes you smile.... then when you feel stronger and you can look back over your time without the twinge of pain reflect on everything that you will have learnt about who you are and what you want for the future... the sun will shine on you again - slave is sure!

hugs
x

< Message edited by slavemira -- 2/14/2009 12:43:38 PM >

_____________________________

may the sun shine on your soul and smile!

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 71

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 1:25:39 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I can't believe the huge outpouring of support I've gotten. If any of you would like to send a personal note you can send it to califsue here on CM and she will pass it on to me (email given with her permission). She has been my biggest ally.

It's been five days and I finally sat down and had a good cry. I needed the relief that comes with that. There is a Master who has me under consideration who sees me as a treasure. While I will not rush into anything it helps to know that others see my true value. While I may have been "thrown away" I have never been worthless, and it's important for me to remember that.

_____________________________

(in reply to slavemira)

Post #: 72

RE: Being Released - 2/14/2009 4:07:27 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIGLOVENJ

Bottom line release = worthless. It is the worst thing that could happen to a slave.

What a load of bull.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to BIGLOVENJ)

Post #: 73

RE: Being Released - 2/17/2009 12:41:38 PM

gumshoe

Posts: 68
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline

You have the wisdom and prudence to sit down, figure out what hit me and then try to get back on your feet and move on.

I have known some people simply moan their lives away over lesser maladies.

_____________________________

Where there is no imagination there is no horror, Arthur Conan-Doyle.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 74

RE: Being Released - 2/17/2009 7:26:51 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Elsewhere you have this whole long essay about how you were released because of a cyberstalker. Or was that a different release?

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 75

RE: Being Released - 2/18/2009 10:19:45 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

hi chamberqueen,

you said somewhere here that youd known for a while that things werent right and that you had been making excuses for him - you couldnt have kept that up forever.

when i got released over the phone with a collar still stuck round my neck and no way of getting it off without the allum key he had in his possession, i was really really upset for a bit. and then i got to thinking that actually he had done the right thing, we werent that well suited on the D/s front, in fact we werent suited atall on the D/s front. we just got on really well and probably it would have ended up vanilla, which niether of us wanted.

anyway, he offered to come down and take the collar off and i said no thanks. pride got in my way probably, but i was damned if i was going to let him humiliate me any further and exaserbate the feelings of rejection i already felt.

i wouldnt rake it all up, deep down you know why it broke up or you have a pretty good idea. deep down you know what you gave to him and what he gave to you. you have some good memories and youve learnt something new about yourself along the way.

let it go babe, youll be just fine

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 76

RE: Being Released - 2/18/2009 12:40:04 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

antipode, there was a cyberstalker involved in the circumstances around my release. Things that I said to people that I trusted in innocence got twisted and sent back to make me look as if I was making attacks against people. It was very cunningly set up.

I have only been owned by one Master. There was only one release. I found out more details behind what was going on after the release and found that there were various issues at play but none of them had to do with me not serving well. I brought my question here just to find out whether others would ask for a face to face meeting or whether to just accept the email dismissal as gracefully as possible and walk away. I have chosen the latter but also wanted to warn people about cyberstalkers. It has gotten so bad that I received a phone call earlier today with a man just repeating "pig...pig...pig" over and over. That moves the attacks out of email and into real time. This attack has led me to remove my account from Collar Me, cancel my Yahoo account, and now I feel forced to move for my own safety.

_____________________________

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 77

RE: Being Released - 2/18/2009 1:13:50 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

antipode, there was a cyberstalker involved in the circumstances around my release. Things that I said to people that I trusted in innocence got twisted and sent back to make me look as if I was making attacks against people. It was very cunningly set up.

I have only been owned by one Master. There was only one release. I found out more details behind what was going on after the release and found that there were various issues at play but none of them had to do with me not serving well. I brought my question here just to find out whether others would ask for a face to face meeting or whether to just accept the email dismissal as gracefully as possible and walk away. I have chosen the latter but also wanted to warn people about cyberstalkers. It has gotten so bad that I received a phone call earlier today with a man just repeating "pig...pig...pig" over and over. That moves the attacks out of email and into real time. This attack has led me to remove my account from Collar Me, cancel my Yahoo account, and now I feel forced to move for my own safety.

Have you contacted law enforcement?

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 78

RE: Being Released - 2/18/2009 1:17:47 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIGLOVENJ

Being released is is a nice way of saying the slave was cast out because it ceased to be of any value to its owner. Lets face it you cant sell the slave or you'd be in dutch with the law. So you throw it out like useless garbage. Now we have all heard stories about the master being ill and not being able to "train" the slave yadda yadda yadda. I think thats a crock because if I was sick even terminally ill I wouldnt cast out valuable human property when I can use to to bring me comfort. Bottom line release = worthless. It is the worst thing that could happen to a slave.

How charming you are... barf

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to BIGLOVENJ)

Post #: 79

RE: Being Released - 2/18/2009 1:20:14 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm thinking the same way angelikaJ is... I would go real time legal with this one.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 80

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