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RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 11:43:01 AM

frazzle121

Posts: 116
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

Thank you.

I'm sorry you when through a darn sight worse, but from reading your posts have bounced back with avengence.

I'm lucky i have some very good friends, who took the weekend holding me together.
Its not a loss but a learning curve.

I'm the eternal optomist, i know i'm perfect, its just persuading the opposite sex that i am. lol.

Had an evening wioth a very good friend last night, so i am back to my usual self.

Life is too short to wallow in self pity.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 21

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 11:46:46 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

If I were at all religious, I'd shout a resounding "Hallelujah" to that, Frazzle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle121
Life is too short to wallow in self pity.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to frazzle121)

Post #: 22

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 11:50:26 AM

frazzle121

Posts: 116
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

I think as we get older, we spend less time wallowing. Who does it hurt, not the person that couldnt see our value, but us.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 23

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 11:55:45 AM

subdevra

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/28/2008
Status: offline

from my experience demanding a face to face for "closure" has only ended in harsh words from him and crying from me and nothing changing. you have to find your own closure by looking into yourself and really analyze the relationship. most probably he is a jerk and so be it. learn from this and apply to your next relationship. and you know there will be another because as a sub we are not complete without a Master.

at least you got an email, my previous master just dropped off the face of the earth and just wouldn't answer my calls or call me back as much as a begged. i wound up emailing him that i considered myself released as he was not answering. that email he acknowledged.

good luck
devra

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 24

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 12:00:43 PM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

Sorry to hear of your loss and congrats on your new found freedom. Most blessings are mixed, but both the good and the bad are worth experiencing.

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to frazzle121)

Post #: 25

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 12:11:36 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I have asked for it, he told me he was too angry and that it would happen when he felt more sure that the meeting would be a good one.

Meaning he will woo you and screw you--dont fall for it.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 26

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 12:16:55 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

f you feel the need to meet him for clousure i think you shoud..

I disagree. If someone decides he no longer wants your presence in his life, why give him the satisfaction of chasing him around for a meeting or closure? Why grant him that authority? I'd say good riddance. I know how I give in relationships, and if that's not enough and the guy is not man enough to discuss it before breaking up, I don't owe him anything.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 27

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 12:20:55 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

I'd like to make some comments and then give my thoughts

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I was just released from my relationship as a slave. It was done via email and came as a total shock.
First of all, my spirit with sincerest empathy is reaching out toward you. But as you say, the grief process has finally reached peacefulness. From my experience going backwards is a possibility and you might need to work the grief cycle several times.
You are most lucky to get an email. Silence, lack of contact was my indication.
I have asked for a final face to face meeting for a graceful exit to the relationship.
I tried this, in my first M/s relationship and he refused. I then took it upon myself to do it and the door was shut in my face. I only regret the fact that the finances were horrendous. Graceful is how you react, the belief in your own self, and how you walk your journey.  I feel that I need the face to face and chance to ask whether I had been a good slave as a closure.
Obviously you were a good slave, look what you obeyed to do for him. I did things I morally would have never done. Yes, regrets and amazing memories.You know in your heart you were the best submissive and slave he had.But this experience does not lessen your submission. I knew that things had been less fulfilling for me and that I was making a lot of excuses in my mind for him.
I did the same thing. I came from that experience and KNOW I was strong and self worth was not based on him.

I believe that I can find a more healthy relationship even though I loved my Master dearly and have many fond memories of our time together.
You will. Don't listen to you heart in your next choice. Use your mind and proceed slowly.

My question is this: Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful?   NO. He has closed the chapter and book. Attempting to open the book to rewrite the last chapter is not going to be fulfilling.

Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.    Possibly it was a less than compatible relationship that ended sadly and with a lack of integrity on his part.

'Make what your heart instructs,
and don't let anyone persuade you
to compromise with your own truth.'
--Clive Barker

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 28

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 12:25:22 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

Chamberqueen, I am so sorry this happened to you. If it were me, I wouldn't bother meeting face to face. In my experience it does no good and can cause more hurt and anger, etc. I would simply erase all contact info and him from your life and look ahead.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 29

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 12:35:12 PM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I don't think it's a case of them not seeing our value, but rather they lack a value in themselves. One thing I never did was wallow, life went on, I healed. I will never forgive or forget and it no longer affects my life or my capacity to love, although for a long time I was emotionally unavailable. I created my own closure to enable me to move on, and why do I still want to see this person face to face after so long? The time is incidental, whether it's one week, one month, one year or a decade. It's not to exact vengeance, it's not to scream and shout at him - I am too dignified for that. It's to allow him an opportunity to reconnect emotionally - not for or with me, but for his sake and anyone else he encounters. A lot of people may not understand that, and to be honest, I really don't need them to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle121
I think as we get older, we spend less time wallowing. Who does it hurt, not the person that couldnt see our value, but us.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to frazzle121)

Post #: 30

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 1:32:16 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Sorry about that...

Watch this to cheer yourself up, then send it to him :

Text Message Breakup

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 31

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 1:35:48 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

My question is this: Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful? Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.

It might be... but they are under no obligation to provide it. Just like everyone else, we have to find our own closure.

For me, I know that it wouldn't be. I don't like face-to-face shit. Dump me on the phone so I can hang up on your ass and you don't get to see me cry.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 32

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 1:58:24 PM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Thanks, Merc, and after watching that, pass that whiskey!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Sorry about that...

Watch this to cheer yourself up, then send it to him :
Text Message Breakup

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 33

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 3:37:35 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Yes. And lets not forget that success is the best revenge!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 34

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 4:13:29 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi chamberqueen
I sorry to hear that and how he handle it. Take care of you.

oceanwynds

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 35

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 5:37:53 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Yes. And lets not forget that success is the best revenge!

And being happy!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 36

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 6:13:00 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

I agree, he seems a coward. You've said that he has lied to you a number of times. Consider yourself lucky that it is over and you're not wasting any more of your time with the dickweed.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 37

RE: Being Released - 2/11/2009 9:40:59 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I think it's a real chicken-sh*t antic to end a relationship of substantial depth and duration in any way other than an honorable face-to-face fashion but there are people who cop out in that fashion all of the time. One can not make another do the right thing but you can certainly assert your wish.
Best wishes,
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 38

RE: Being Released - 2/12/2009 1:24:05 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

For sure, Lush. Reality and I were discussing 'happiness' some days ago. It's a condition of consciousness derived from the application and encompassment of our own individual values (that's my belief).

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Yes. And lets not forget that success is the best revenge!

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 39

RE: Being Released - 2/12/2009 5:19:30 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

good thing he got out of the way. you wouldnt want to be with that loser when a Real Man comes along. best of luck, hugs .
one day a Man will look at you and laugh out loud thinking of the stupid man who let you slip away.

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 40

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