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QuixoticErrant -> RE: forced bi help??? (2/13/2009 3:24:11 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Let's go back a bit. First of all, I would say the comment in bold was completely uncalled for.
quote:
ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant
quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
quote:
ORIGINAL: sixpack
i never wanted to get an erection today...it was an accident! Thats all ive known for the past monthes...my only way for release so when i saw it or many of them in person ..it just happened!
Yes, exactly. Your Domme has conditioned you to have this response. Therefore your body is being obedient to her will, when this happens. So then why are you so upset about it? You do not wish to be obedient to her?
Ummmm... he is not a dog. Don't fuck with his head like that. If he is not into it he isn't. If he is bi-curious, but not ready to go there yet, it is not for her to decide on something that big by trying to force him. The out and out cruelty and lack of caring of some Dommes never ceases to astonish me. Yes I know, the image is that you are the worst bitch ever. Even that has boundaries. He should tell her to go to hell - and you too.
Perhaps I was reading something other than what brought that response. If I recall correctly, the OP never stated this was a hard limit. I believe the initial comment to the Domme bringing up this subject for play is that he would rather not. I'm not saying that's not all well and good for the OP, but would rather not isn't exactly a clearly defined limit. It may be an area that the Domme in question heard as an area for growth that could be worked with.
As for not fucking with someone's head, somebody had better call the kink police. The last I understood, mind fucking is a very common practice among some of those of us who engage in wiitwd. It may very well be that the mind play is being used as a tool to further the experience for the sub, even if the actual play is never introduced.
Telling someone to go to hell because they relate something that they find is a turn on leads to people shutting down and not being able to openly express what excites them. This happens to be a subject that I tell My sub turns Me on quite often. Even if it's not something the sub is willing to do, why should the Dominant not tell the submissive that the mental imagery is hot for her?
First off, there is nothing wrong with telling your submissive what you think is exciting - obviously. However, just as obviously, this guy has some issues with this, or he would not have posted in the first place. I hope that's clear enough to not require a diagram.
What should also be clear is that this is not some little thing. This is not like adding some new little extra element to play like a new flogger or something that looks a little scary. This is a question of his sexual identity. For one who is very interested in not telling others what to do, you seem to have very little problem with the idea that she is imposing something so personal on him. You further seem to miss the point that it is truly not her choice to make and that this is a complete disregard for the boy as a person by his utterly self absorbed Domme.
As to the mind fuck, let's be really clear what the mind fuck is that I am objecting to. Along comes a confused and weak individual who is not interested in, or at best conflicted about doing something that he clearly sees as major. Yet, he is also conflicted about pleasing a Domme who is demanding something that she has no right to demand. Rather than tell the fellow to focus on the real question, which is "Is that something you would really want to do?" Along comes another person essentially telling him that he is a bad submissive for not wanting to be bisexual if it would please the whims of his domme. It is not as if either of you care about him is it? It is not as if either of you are trying to be helpful to him is it?
At which point, the proper response for him, is to tell her and you to go to hell.
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