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LadyPact -> RE: forced bi help??? (2/17/2009 3:01:09 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
(In reply to more than one.)
If some of the Dommes here need to get a clue, perhaps one might be established with a less condescending attitude. On the other hand, perhaps just a little more research needs to be done.
I was glad to hear someone say that submission isn't just about the activities that an s-type enjoys. This discussion is beginning to remind Me of that old fall back of, "sure, I'll submit, as long as it's something I want to do." The other half of that is, "everything else is a hard limit." I wouldn't particularly think of that as submission.
I'm not going to take the time and energy to repeat everything I've ever written on these boards about My prior experiences with this activity. Anyone who's engaged in it can tell you that most of us have run the spectrum with those who have been involved with us about this act. You get everything from those who can't wait to be 'forced' to suck cock to those who can barely stand the thought of it. There are some who can only participate in this activity when there is a female present to let them escape from the guilt that comes up for them due to conditioning by society and those who love it for that very factor because it gives them the humiliation that they crave. There are scores of ways it is interpreted and possibly hundreds of ways this type of play can be done.
Not every femdom who has ever encouraged a submissive in this area should be told to go to hell. There are quite a few of us who are well versed in it, as well as the ramifications that can come from it. For anyone who can't grasp that concept, I'd gladly invite anyone to take a look at the "Ask A Mistress" section to read from those of us who are experienced in this area.
To the OP: If this is a hard limit for you, I'd suggest that you clearly communicate that. I tend to think you are more concerned that either the activity itself, the sexual excitement of pleasing the Dominant, the humiliation factor, or the taboo took you by surprise and you aren't sure how to handle that. The same answer applies. Discuss the situation with the Dominant so the she can assess how your mental and emotional state are about the situation. Best of luck to you.
Oh for crying out loud. His Domme is not encouraging him, she is demanding him to and she is conditioning him to. He came on here clearly not cool with it. If he was cool with it, there would be another story.
For the nth time. The only person who has any right to determine his orientation is himself. Just like you get to decide how you swing and it would be rude in the extreme to tell you to swing any differently, the same applies here.
I am amazed that you consider it condescending to take such a basic principle of decency to its logical conclusion or to be surprised that it is considered rude to say the least when others pointedly ignore the principle. If you ignore such basic decency, all you are writing is that you don't really care about your submissives as people. Just because you have a submissive does not mean that the submissive stopped being a person. I mean how shallow and narcissistic do you want to be? His sexual identity is being toyed with and he doesn't like it, and you are afraid some bitchy and whiny Dommes were condescended to? It really does show where your priorities are, and no if he doesn't like it, this is a case where the she does need to respect that. Your point about topping so long as it is what the sub likes does not even come close to applying here.
As a Dom, I have found that I can still be a very effective dom even if I still care for my girls and respect them as people. Further, the sort of submissive I would be interested in would have enough spine to be able to tell me to go to hell if I ever did stop noticing her essential humanity.
I'm beginning to think that you have a bigger problem with the situation than the OP does.
Neither of us know the frame of mind behind the OP as the original was written. Without knowing him, or the true motivation behind the post, it's hard to say if this is something that really bothered him. To go further, it's difficult to know *why* it bothered him. In the last couple of years around this place, my general opinion is that there are only a few instances where males will write up a post about being disturbed about the fact that they got an erection. (Let's keep in mind here that was the OP's issue. Not that he engaged in any m/m activity.) Usually, that's based on something that turned the male on (i.e. same sex encounters, sadism, humiliation, etc.) that they have trouble accepting because it isn't 'right' by certain standards.
Neither of us can say what triggered the sexual excitement that he experienced. It might just be that the Dominant in question knows the OP, his desires, and the way his inner self works just a little better than we do. This post, even though the OP is struggling, might have been a step of his to accept something that turned him on. I don't think we should be so negative in responses.
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