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When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/16/2006 11:23:43 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

When You have met your Perfect match,
but She turns out to be a Submissive
just like You.
What is a Submissive to do?

I mean the first thing he thought of doing was running?
But She is everything he was looking for.
Except being Submissive.

Without saying Goodbye to her,
What can he seriously do to make a change?

Sincerely, Ant

Post #: 1

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/16/2006 11:35:03 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

When You have met your Perfect match,
but She turns out to be a Submissive
just like You.
What is a Submissive to do?

My questions is: If she is your perfect match, why do you care what name she calls herself? M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 2

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 6:06:39 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Hello,

When You have met your Perfect match,
but She turns out to be a Submissive
just like You.
What is a Submissive to do?

Well, if they're both wanting to be monogamus then it seems he's in a bit of a pickle, Dick. What to do would depend on why they're both in BDSM to begin with. If they just wanted kinky sex then they might be alright. If either one is looking for "the one" to sit at the feet at then they might have a real problem. Either way, they should sit down and hash this out between them. Maybe they could find a Dominant to serve together in a non-sexual way. If it's just kinky sex then they can take turns tying eachother up and spanking some ass. The big thing they need to talk to eachother.

< Message edited by MrDiscipline44 -- 1/17/2006 6:07:12 AM >

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 3

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 7:26:20 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

They both are Submissive yes.
The male is thinking of becoming Dom.
He knows it does not happen over night.
That it takes time.
The Idea now has started to succum
into his mind.

Where does he start?

Sincerely, Ant

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 4

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 7:38:47 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Where does he start?

If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. In it will be your Grand Master Ritual Handbook and "Guide to Good Dom-ing". Go next to the end of the Redondo Pier wearing a red rose in your lapel and I'll have my page and courrier, arriving on white horseback, bring you your Dom Certificate.

EMPEROR MERC

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 5

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 7:51:46 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think they need to assess the situation in its entirety. If "being a good match" INCLUDES compatible lifestyle orientations and being monogamous, then they really aren't a good match.

It's tough. I could meet someone who is a perfect match...but they are monogamous. Then they really aren't my perfect match and we wouldn't be happy together.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 6

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 8:39:36 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Hello,

When You have met your Perfect match,
but She turns out to be a Submissive
just like You.
What is a Submissive to do?

I mean the first thing he thought of doing was running?
But She is everything he was looking for.
Except being Submissive.

Without saying Goodbye to her,
What can he seriously do to make a change?

Sincerely, Ant

In my mind, if both are submissives then that is not a perfect match (or even a good one).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 7

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 11:27:57 AM

Rascalyrabbit

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Where does he start?

If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. In it will be your Grand Master Ritual Handbook and "Guide to Good Dom-ing". Go next to the end of the Redondo Pier wearing a red rose in your lapel and I'll have my page and courrier, arriving on white horseback, bring you your Dom Certificate.

EMPEROR MERC

LMAO

_____________________________

[img]http://myspace-959.vo.llnwd.net/00202/95/94/202014959_l.gif[/img]

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 8

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 1:02:21 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade.

Do you take food stamps?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 9

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 4:00:56 PM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

just talk things out maybe you can serve a Dominant together or separate or form a monagamous relationship where one of you is dominant. There is no right or wrong answer ...you choose

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 10

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 4:05:55 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

When You have met your Perfect match,
but She turns out to be a Submissive
just like You.
What is a Submissive to do?

I mean the first thing he thought of doing was running?
But She is everything he was looking for.
Except being Submissive.

How can she be your perfect match if she clearly has a flaw?

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 11

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 5:20:22 PM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. In it will be your Grand Master Ritual Handbook and "Guide to Good Dom-ing". Go next to the end of the Redondo Pier wearing a red rose in your lapel and I'll have my page and courrier, arriving on white horseback, bring you your Dom Certificate.

EMPEROR MERC

Oh mighty merc, emperor and ruler of all dom-ness! The avenes used to be my high school hang-out of choice - that and pier avenue WAAAAAAYYYYY back in the day. had i but known rats beach is the place to find the perfect dom...

******************************************************

You need to reconsider your definition of perfect - perfect may be subjective, but it is also rather back and white - either it is or it is not. Almost, except for - these are not perfect.

I fully comprehend that everyone has their denotative and connotative definition of what a domiant is and is not; however... i am in the to be or not to be camp. how do you propose to turn this submissive into a dominant - what training is that, how does that work - exactly?

No slur intended, but i don't think even the mighty merc can "fix" that.

perhaps if you spend a bit of time to be sure of WHAT you want, the compatibility part will be much easier. i do not understand the point of entering into a relationship with one whom you must change so drastically to make it work.

relax, take a deep breath, THINK about it.

newflowers

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 12

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 5:26:20 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

Yes she is Submissive and so Is he.

It is Perfect up untill the Bdsm part.
I was hoping there was a cure for this,
apparently not?

Not being with Her now would not be an option.
We click on all fields except Bdsm.

He doesn't want to become 100% vanilla.

Sincerely, Ant.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 13

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 5:31:26 PM

doubleLeo

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

We all make "compromises" for the ones we love.
Its just to what extent, and at what cost? I mean, if you know what you are, and what you want, then you need to be true to your self..
Maybe you all can switch??? would this fufill you?
If you meet her halfway, perhaps she is willing to meet also?
If this is a situation where there has to be a finality, or a conclusion before you both can continue to grow together, then maybe this isnt the sit for you. I know for me, in my relationship that it is one of becoming.

Mercnbeth: LOL LOL LOL.... I WISH it was bought!!! Is it in the barbie section???

dL

(in reply to newflowers)

Post #: 14

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 7:52:53 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

We all make "compromises" for the ones we love.
Its just to what extent, and at what cost? I mean, if you know what you are, and what you want, then you need to be true to your self..
Maybe you all can switch??? would this fufill you?
If you meet her halfway, perhaps she is willing to meet also?
If this is a situation where there has to be a finality, or a conclusion before you both can continue to grow together, then maybe this isnt the sit for you. I know for me, in my relationship that it is one of becoming.

Mercnbeth: LOL LOL LOL.... I WISH it was bought!!! Is it in the barbie section???

dL

Yes I would like to learn being Dominate or a Switch~

Sincerely, Ant

(in reply to doubleLeo)

Post #: 15

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 8:36:12 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

What about finding a Dom/me to top y'all together or some crazy thing like that? I am sure that there is some Dom/me that would relish the idea of topping a sub/sub couple.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 16

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/17/2006 8:41:21 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It is Perfect up untill the Bdsm part.
I was hoping there was a cure for this,
apparently not?

I'd ask myself what the lifestyle is to me? Is it play? Power exchange? What makes the both of you tick? Are you the same?
If so, could each of you handle going outside of the relationship for play?

If you truly want something to work you will work it out. Both parties have to want it to work though.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 17

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/18/2006 11:12:48 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

She doesn't wantt anybody else to touch Him.
So other play by other people would be out
of the question.

They shall see what other avenues are
available?

Sincerely, Ant.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 18

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/20/2006 5:13:09 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

She doesn't wantt anybody else to touch Him.
So other play by other people would be out
of the question.

They shall see what other avenues are
available? [/quote

Does she love you enough to switch from time to time? I know you've stated she doesn't have a dominant bone in her body. Though we all do. I am quite dominant outside of my relationship. If you didn't you'd be nothing more than a doormat.
I know from personal experience I have been given the opportunity one day a month to dominate Doug if I saw fit. Sort of revenge...yet I have never taken him up on the idea. My first dom gave me the same offer. Usually that day ended up in pampering him..massage..etc.
Yet many switch couples are healthy and happy. If she would be willing to try.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 19

RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? - 1/20/2006 7:44:32 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do?

Ant,
You don't change.

Unless you eventually want to resent her or you want a casual relationship. The conflict with your core nature will eventually doom the relationship to failure. You can't love someone enough to change who you are. You can't physically train yourself to change your nature. A long time ago, left handedness was thought to be a curable infirmary. Left handed children were forced to write and do things right handed "for their own good". It was the results of this, training against nature, that were not good. The brain couldn't be re-wired, often it caused the child to stutter.

"Love" makes you do strange things. It's the "wild-card" of this question. Can you love someone enough to change your nature? My answer would be no. I could still love someone who needed to dominate from time to time, but I could not have a relationship with that person as I do with beth. I think it's easier to have different degrees of love. We're used to that because love is different with parents, siblings, friends, etc. Intimacy in a relationship, beyond casual sex, is less compromising over the long term.

Some people can't come to grips with the fact that some people are exactly what they say they are ALL the time. Whether it's envy or resentment doesn't matter. It's akin to claiming submissiveness, but needed to "release" or "purge" periodically. It you are living true to yourself and your nature, why would you need to purge? Why would you need/want a vacation from a reality you striven to achieve for your entire life? It's only the need to rationalize that causes people to put a derogatory label on anyone not compromising. But I can understand it. No one wants to admit to themselves that they are a fraud even if their own words and actions illustrate the fact.

The most frustrating part after going through an honest self assessment and determining a relationship goal is finding someone to share that goal. You'll meet a lot of friends and near fits along the way. The near fits are the most frustrating. They are worthy of the attempt, but ultimately you have to decide if your self assessment was wrong or the relationship you are considering is wrong. Of course that decision is yours.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 20

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