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RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/14/2009 5:36:21 PM   
heartbound


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwilightsKitten

For me, a pet is a submissive that while you own them and they do as you say, is cared for, loved, and appreciated. They have a desire to do as their Dom wishes because making their Dom happy makes them happy. They are in no way a doormat, or viewed in the same way someone looks at a shovel. Outside of the kinks and their role as a submissive, they are a friend and a lover. Someone you can talk to, watch a movie snuggled up with, and share your interests and thoughts with.


I don't think that I have seen a better definition of pet.  The relationship you describe is what Mistress and I have together.  We are best friends, lovers and I am also her submissive.  We go to movies, shopping and out to eat.  We love to chat and do just about anything that you could imagine doing with your best friend (and some things that most people would never imagine doing with their friends...lol).

I believe "pet" is a term of affection.  In almost all of my past relationships, affection and love were not an integral part of the relationship.  I am very proud to be Mistress' pet and have never felt so loved and cared for in my life.

I have been in the lifestyle 11 years and Mistress was the only one who has called me pet and loved me as such.  Don't give up hope, but have patience to find the person you are seeking.

-heartbound

(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/15/2009 12:03:38 AM   
TwilightsKitten


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		I appreciate all the replies as well as the advice. Perhaps you are right, and I do get too hung up on the terms. For me, pet sounds affectionate and so I describe it as such. But behavior wise, what I describe sounds like a slave too. So, perhaps I should just drop the title. I've always been honest in saying how I felt, and perhaps I am just better off explaining myself then using a term that everyone can use differently. I find myself in an odd position with this because, the same kind of pet I want, is the same kind of pet I am. And the same kind of Mistress I would want, is the same kind of Master I am. I guess that is something I have to deal with as a switch, as odd as it seems to me at times. The bright side is, I at least know who I am and what I want. In my book, its a big step toward finding it. As usual, you have all been very helpful and kind, so thank you for that. I guess from here, I just need to venture out there and be me, and I'll find someone someday. Mew.


_____________________________

~*Kitten*~

Friend: "So, you're a cat boy?"
Me: "Cat girls need love too"

Mew!

[Straight, Male, Switch]

(in reply to heartbound)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/15/2009 2:56:52 AM   
TwilightsKitten


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		Well, I tried to google it and see about finding some groups, but it seems most of them are down toward NYC, which is a 6-8 hour drive for me. Don't suppose anyone knows of any in upstate NY? I'm about an hour or so north of Albany. Mew.

_____________________________

~*Kitten*~

Friend: "So, you're a cat boy?"
Me: "Cat girls need love too"

Mew!

[Straight, Male, Switch]

(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/15/2009 5:40:46 AM   
thetab


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwilightsKitten

Well, I tried to google it and see about finding some groups, but it seems most of them are down toward NYC, which is a 6-8 hour drive for me. Don't suppose anyone knows of any in upstate NY? I'm about an hour or so north of Albany. Mew.


Albany, NY TNG yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/albanykinktng/

(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/15/2009 6:30:38 AM   
TwilightsKitten


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		Oh cool, thank you. Mew!

_____________________________

~*Kitten*~

Friend: "So, you're a cat boy?"
Me: "Cat girls need love too"

Mew!

[Straight, Male, Switch]

(in reply to thetab)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/15/2009 12:13:15 PM   
TazDevil


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline 		names and turms... why is every one so abosed with names and turms? Do you know what you wont? Do you know what your or? Do you need a name for it?
if you know who and what you or you better of then most arond you, and a rose by any other name would stall smell as sweet... slave :)

(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 1:00:50 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		DarkSteven, I'm also a switch who tends to be slightly feline regardless of which side of the whip/etc. I'm on. I don't go around meowing online, but I do pounce people, curl up in chairs, play with untied shoelaces and flogger strands, etc. in person. It didn't come across to me that he wanted both of them to be the pet, more that he was open to being either the pet or the owner, depending on the chemistry. I'm not specifically looking for a pet/owner dynamic, but I'm open to being a Domme or a submissive, or to an egalitarian kinky relationship with no D/s power exchange at all, depending on how I interact with the specific person.

TwilightsKitten, what you describe seems similar to what I'm looking for, but you're too far away! BTW, your name seems to imply that you're already taken by someone named Twilight.

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 2:18:23 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		TwillightsKitten, i am sure that some Dom. is out there that fits your desires.
I don't know much about pets, and really never looked into it. I am more of a panther, not a pet.

Best of luck
oceanwynds

(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 3:14:22 PM   
MagusAndSchala


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/20/2009
Status: offline 		The relationship you described is exactly what the Kitten and I share, though I'm not certain I could be much help you in advice on finding such a relationship.  Our relationship started without any inkling of BDSM involved (I never knew such things existed before her).  We had a solid, loving relationship formed before we delved into the master/pet part of it, and we are still very much growing and learning as we go.  For the relationship you're looking for to be truly succesful, you have to make sure you can hold both a normal relationship and D/S relationship (for if either fail alone, they'll fail together) until they can be mixed into one.

I think this "bad boy" fixation you see a lot of is most of the time (not always) people blurring the line between fantasy and reality.  It's one thing to tell a stranger over the internet you want to be owned entirely, used as a sex/pain slave, etc etc.  It's another thing entirely to do it in person 24/7.  Some people are intimidated to show a soft side when everyone else is talking about how much they like being bound, gagged, and raped (as well as binding, gagging, and raping).

I agree with others on dropping the emphasis on titles.  They mean different things to different people, and people will react in ways you may not expect.  I prefer to call her 'my pet' or 'Kitten' because to me (heavy emphasis there), slave belies ownership without love.  It's a personal preference that not everyone will share, simple as that. 

Whew, these always tend to be more longwinded than I intended.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 4:40:22 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I always knew I wanted a pet, I just wasn't always so clear when I was looking and making what appeared to be minor compromises in defining what that would be. There ended up being entirely too many differences the deeper I got into a relationship with someone. Not a good/bad thing, just differing expectations and a lack of understanding of each other's needs.

My kitlet became a friend before we thought about moving into any other relationship. Calling him pet seemed natural. As we evolved the relationship just became more Master/pet without us even trying. I found myself drawn in more and more in ways I had never experienced before. I'm certainly not above devising some devilish tasks for him to complete for me or using both pleasure and pain in a wonderful symphony to play his body when we are together. But I am also someone who wants to be able to spoil my pup now and again, just as i do my fourlegged animals.

My only advice is be patient, and don't be surprised if it comes from an unexpected source

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be


(in reply to MagusAndSchala)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 8:58:38 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I courted a sub briefly who was into being a pet, had me convinced, but distance proved to be an obstacle. Anyway, there is a forum somewhere specifically devoted to this paraphilia, but I forgot what it's called.

Some help eh?

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 9:00:22 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		You might also check yahoo groups.

(in reply to Amaros)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/16/2009 10:08:39 PM   
MG4Apuppygirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/12/2007
Status: offline 		What you define as a "pet" does exist. There are thousands of subbies out there who like to dress up and pretend to assume the role of an animal for a couple of hours, as long as they still have control of the dynamic, can make the rules and can remove themselves from that role when ever they want.

What I define as a "pet" is starkly different and a lot harder to find, primarily because the reality of the fantasy for most is far more confronting and a lot more permanent.    

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 12:47:58 AM   
akdreamer


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline 		TwilightsKitten

What you describe is exactly the kind of relationship -- yes I used the word relationship in D/s or M/s.

I would tend to think (There I go again) that any man of a "Christian Background" as being born again, or a spirit-filled beleiver in Jesus Christ that is into BDSM D/s M/s etc would desire to have the exact kind of relationship with their pet/wife.

If you doubt my words there are a growing number of "Christian" Bdsm and D/s sites in yahoo and google groups 

How can this be -- well to put this real simple BDSM is spelled out in the bible.  The first case is between Abraham Sarah and her Slave Hagar who she gives to Abraham to marry and have a kid. Hagar after pregnancy seeks to force out Sarah and take her position with Abraham , Sarah gets pissed. (In the bible she calls abraham Lord and Master (Same word in Hebrew) which is lauded in the old and new testaments. Sarah goes to Abraham and abraham says to her Hagar is in your hand do as you will and Sarah beats and whips her.  So -- Hagar takes off and get this God sends an angel out to the wilderness to her and do you know what he commands, Hagar to return to her mistress and master and take all that they have to dish out. To become approved of God.

In the NT slaves still exist and even concubines. Paul makes it known that slaves stay as slaves when they are christian and even belonging to christians. 

Whom the Lord Loveth He chasteneth (Physically disciplines) and scourgeth every son (And daughter) that He receiveth. (This is rather iron clad)

God is described as doing BDSM in numerous passages in the Old Testament

Its just that a lot of christians tend to have very selective beliefs

If Jesus was beaten and whipped for sin . . . extrapolate that according to safe and sane practices in BDSM

Personally I do not want to dispense pain unless my partner would enjoy it to some degree and I do not want to hurt someone to show them who is boss or to show how much of an "Asshole" I can be.

The idea of the exchange and flying on the part of a slave and sub has great meaning to my but not hurting and injuring someone

Akdreamer








(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 1:39:34 AM   
TwilightsKitten


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

DarkSteven, I'm also a switch who tends to be slightly feline regardless of which side of the whip/etc. I'm on. I don't go around meowing online, but I do pounce people, curl up in chairs, play with untied shoelaces and flogger strands, etc. in person. It didn't come across to me that he wanted both of them to be the pet, more that he was open to being either the pet or the owner, depending on the chemistry. I'm not specifically looking for a pet/owner dynamic, but I'm open to being a Domme or a submissive, or to an egalitarian kinky relationship with no D/s power exchange at all, depending on how I interact with the specific person.

TwilightsKitten, what you describe seems similar to what I'm looking for, but you're too far away! BTW, your name seems to imply that you're already taken by someone named Twilight.


Well, I blame the name thing on the fact I had to use letters and numbers and nothing else. The twilight I refer to is the object, not a person. All the name means really is, that while I'm a kitten at heart, I do have a bit of a dark side, just not -that- dark.


_____________________________

~*Kitten*~

Friend: "So, you're a cat boy?"
Me: "Cat girls need love too"

Mew!

[Straight, Male, Switch]

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 1:50:47 AM   
TwilightsKitten


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akdreamer

TwilightsKitten

What you describe is exactly the kind of relationship -- yes I used the word relationship in D/s or M/s.

I would tend to think (There I go again) that any man of a "Christian Background" as being born again, or a spirit-filled beleiver in Jesus Christ that is into BDSM D/s M/s etc would desire to have the exact kind of relationship with their pet/wife.

If you doubt my words there are a growing number of "Christian" Bdsm and D/s sites in yahoo and google groups 

How can this be -- well to put this real simple BDSM is spelled out in the bible.  The first case is between Abraham Sarah and her Slave Hagar who she gives to Abraham to marry and have a kid. Hagar after pregnancy seeks to force out Sarah and take her position with Abraham , Sarah gets pissed. (In the bible she calls abraham Lord and Master (Same word in Hebrew) which is lauded in the old and new testaments. Sarah goes to Abraham and abraham says to her Hagar is in your hand do as you will and Sarah beats and whips her.  So -- Hagar takes off and get this God sends an angel out to the wilderness to her and do you know what he commands, Hagar to return to her mistress and master and take all that they have to dish out. To become approved of God.

In the NT slaves still exist and even concubines. Paul makes it known that slaves stay as slaves when they are christian and even belonging to christians. 

Whom the Lord Loveth He chasteneth (Physically disciplines) and scourgeth every son (And daughter) that He receiveth. (This is rather iron clad)

God is described as doing BDSM in numerous passages in the Old Testament

Its just that a lot of christians tend to have very selective beliefs

If Jesus was beaten and whipped for sin . . . extrapolate that according to safe and sane practices in BDSM

Personally I do not want to dispense pain unless my partner would enjoy it to some degree and I do not want to hurt someone to show them who is boss or to show how much of an "Asshole" I can be.

The idea of the exchange and flying on the part of a slave and sub has great meaning to my but not hurting and injuring someone

Akdreamer










Yeah, I'm not so much strictly opposed to pain as much as it would need to be a mutually agreed upon thing and mild. I want someone to love, not a human punching bag. And for me....if it requires you to inflict pain to enforce your dominance...something is wrong IMO. While pain can be enjoyable for different people...it being a requirement is just silly to me. While I don't have a ton of experience in the area, I was capable of having a pet know what I wanted, and for her to do it without me having to say anything half the time. To me...I think I showed my dominance fairly well for being new.


_____________________________

~*Kitten*~

Friend: "So, you're a cat boy?"
Me: "Cat girls need love too"

Mew!

[Straight, Male, Switch]

(in reply to akdreamer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 9:11:15 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Maybe TwilightKitten without the "s" would have made that more clear, but perhaps it was already taken? I'm just saying that I would have assumed you were taken due to the name, and not bothered to read your full profile, if I randomly ran across it and you were in my area.

(in reply to heartbound)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 9:54:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 10:04:16 AM   
twistedreality


Posts: 64
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline 		As a sub, I take particular notice when I see the question, "do they exists?" Isn't being a domminant about finding good materials to mold into what you want? If you find somebody who is already molded to your liking, is it as wonderful an experience to dominate them as it would be molding them?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Does what I define as a "pet" exist? - 2/17/2009 2:03:36 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		This is pretty much my 'ideal' relationship described right there in the first post :P. My definition of 'pet' (especially its implications of how they act and/or are treated) is nearly the same, except with the added bonus that, sometimes, good pets do bad things.

*shrug*

So yes, it exists (and is actively looked for) for at least one other person.

(in reply to TwilightsKitten)
Profile   Post #: 40
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