'lifestyle' = SEX (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Mauigurrlxxx -> 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/17/2006 11:40:43 PM)

Can anyone give me another reason people decide to go from the vanilla world to the 'lifestyle' world besides broadening/exploring their sexual deviancies? Is there any core reason beside heightening their sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy their libido?



mistoferin -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/17/2006 11:46:25 PM)

Actually, for some of us the sexual aspects of this lifestyle are really just icing on the cake and not the primary motivators at all.



wolffeathers -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/17/2006 11:58:59 PM)

Sex...

Wait, you get laid?

I thought it was about the Power being giving to me by a slave.

And the service that she gives.

I'm suppose to get LAID....

Damn, I need to check the manual again....



FelinePersuasion -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 12:08:32 AM)

Sex is the last reasonw hy I chose bdsm.

Sex is so far from importance in my bdsm I'd need a passport if it was a country.


I got into bdsm because the aspects of kink fufilled me in ways vanilla stuff didn't, like spankings center me and make me happy, And when I had a dom pleasing him and the diffrentness and specialness of the relationship made it 10 times more meaning full to us than regular dating.



amayos -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 12:11:51 AM)

Since sex is the primal engine behind so many of our complex desires, sexual submission is often the first instinct to naturally manifest in our interests and expressions. Many of us feel the combined forms of intellectual, emotional and spiritual submission/dominance are equally and ultimately more important if one aims to be submissive or dominant in the truest sense of the word.




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 12:16:36 AM)

quote:

Actually, for some of us the sexual aspects of this lifestyle are really just icing on the cake and not the primary motivators at all.
Ditto! M



BitaTruble -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 12:31:55 AM)

For me, it was about control and harkening back to simpler times when the man of the house was the one in charge. Finding a man who is both educated and has street smarts, who is ambitious but also generous, a bit of arrogance and the confidence of one who knows he can not only take your power, but keep it, hone it and make you better for his control of it. Couple that with the fact that we laugh, a lot and, as others have said, the sex part is a huge perk to the D/s part.

Celeste



tasha_tart -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 12:45:01 AM)

Damn...if this is all about sex, I'm definitely doing something wrong!

Tasha



Mauigurrlxxx -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 12:54:48 AM)

I find it curious that not one profile with expansive descriptions on expectaions for a sub/slave/Dom whatever seems to excludes sexual mention. No profile says I seek an intellectual partner for mental and emotional stimulation and harmoinous companionship sans sex.



Mauigurrlxxx -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 1:09:08 AM)

Disclaimer: I believe all relationships between men and women should follow a D/s 'lifestyle' for the carnal/core reason that a women is always subserviant to a man but that does not mean she has any lack of intellect. But I see alot of overt sexual deviants online claiming to embrace 'lifestyle' and wonder if this is a accurate representation of most people in 'lifestyle'



xxblushesxx -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 1:30:00 AM)

Unless I'm mistaken...my profile does not include sex, and there are a lot of others' I've seen who don't mention sex either.

Hell, it's been so long since I've HAD it, I can't even remember who gets tied up!!

But, I digress...

there are many reasons one may be compelled to follow their heart and/or their needs/deires into this lifestyle. Many mentioned much more eloquently by those before me.

I'd study a lot more about the lifestyle (if this is an interest) before looking at it from such a narrow perspective.

With that being said...put the mental, emotional, and physical aspects of it all together...and well...it's just gonna be intense, isn't it?



FelinePersuasion -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 2:13:28 AM)

quote:

that not one profile with expansive descriptions on expectaions for a sub/slave/Dom


Mine does, or did I say quite throughly not looking for sexual intercourse, however I did add a caveat later much much later I'f like a sexual mentor



devanite -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 2:47:42 AM)

I believe that if you are in a relationship of this type of lifestyle then your bound to have sex eventually, it is still an act of love if your seeking a relationship its inevitable however there are plety of people out there who are also looking to be sexually dominatedand to be sexually dominant.

As you transgress to the lifestyle from just partial part of bdsm it becomes more apparent in the relationship of a persons lifestyle is going to beome sexual in some form or another (natural part of ourselves and cannot be avoided) try to remember that both the slave and mistress/master have desires and in any type of relationship I don't think either would be stupid enough to ignore them altogether!

Personally I'm doing this to find someone to control me for the rest of my life however both my life and hers will involve sex so it is inevitable (have I had sex, no I am still a virgin I just mb I am waiting cause I kinda want my virginity removed by force by the right person!)



Shayna -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 3:38:03 AM)

Sexuality is integrated into all of who we are. I don't see how someone's sexuality could be separated from their intimate desires to connect with another person, which is a basic aspect of wiitwd (did I get the letters right?). Whether service-oriented, masochist, top, Master, etc., I believe that there is always an erotic component. If there wasn't then you could get a job cleaning someone's house and be just as fulfilled (for example).








fldrkhorse -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 4:17:42 AM)

Sex and servitude are two completely different things, though I would agree you couldn't tell by the many pictures of boobs and penises ( no pun intended)



Shayna -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 4:28:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

quote:

Sex and servitude are two completely different things


I'm curious about others' perceptions, so please educate me: for those that see their "kink" as servitude, are you also saying that there is NO erotic component to that service/position? Then why is it a kink? Why seek servitude on a bdsm site instead of having it be a vocation where it's what you do for a living? Or as an avocation, where you volunteer to clean houses (or whatever the service is) for elderly or disabled?

I don't see my submission as completely sexual, but the sexual/erotic component is so intertwined that the actions I do in submission ARE erotic to me as well.



MasterRobert1 -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 4:36:58 AM)

Sex is only part of the BDSM D/s package, it's not the Whole Deal. In fact, some people in the lifestyle feel that sex actually distracts for what BDSM and D/s are really all about.



Shayna -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 4:52:24 AM)

How are we defining "sex"? There doesn't have to be intercourse, or an orgasm, for an experience to be sexual (erotic...whatever). In keeping with the example, there is no erotic charge, no erotic thrill to performing service?



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 5:06:28 AM)

quote:

No profile says I seek an intellectual partner for mental and emotional stimulation and harmoinous companionship sans sex.



If one is looking for a life partner, then yes, sex is a natural progression in that level of relationship. However, I think many of us downplay the role of intercourse in favor of BDSM, because BDSM is the more important component. Many of us who see this as a "lifestyle" have gone the vanilla-sex-no-BDSM-relationship route at some point and found it lacking, no matter how good the vanilla sex was. Would we REALLY want someone as a life partner that we didn't find attractive and sexy and a good partner in bed, in addition to being a good bottom/top/sub/dominant? Probably not.

Another reason I tend to downplay the role of sex myself, simply so as not to have to deal with the masses who want the sex and kink without the relationship aspects, because I'm not overly interested in one without the other. I think most women who have been in the lifestyle for any period of time are familiar with the "you're kinky so you must be willing to have sex with anyone" attitude.




cltcdrd -> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX (1/18/2006 5:15:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mauigurrlxxx

Can anyone give me another reason people decide to go from the vanilla world to the 'lifestyle' world besides broadening/exploring their sexual deviancies? Is there any core reason beside heightening their sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy their libido?


It's not all about sex. For some, sex has very, very little to do with the lifestyle. It's the pleasure that a person gets from serving another, making that person happy, making their life easier. To them, this is more important than just satisfying a sexual urge.



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125