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'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/17/2006 11:40:43 PM   
Mauigurrlxxx


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Can anyone give me another reason people decide to go from the vanilla world to the 'lifestyle' world besides broadening/exploring their sexual deviancies? Is there any core reason beside heightening their sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy their libido?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/17/2006 11:46:25 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, for some of us the sexual aspects of this lifestyle are really just icing on the cake and not the primary motivators at all.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/17/2006 11:58:59 PM   
wolffeathers


Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline 		Sex...

Wait, you get laid?

I thought it was about the Power being giving to me by a slave.

And the service that she gives.

I'm suppose to get LAID....

Damn, I need to check the manual again....

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 12:08:32 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Sex is the last reasonw hy I chose bdsm.

Sex is so far from importance in my bdsm I'd need a passport if it was a country.


I got into bdsm because the aspects of kink fufilled me in ways vanilla stuff didn't, like spankings center me and make me happy, And when I had a dom pleasing him and the diffrentness and specialness of the relationship made it 10 times more meaning full to us than regular dating.

(in reply to wolffeathers)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 12:11:51 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Since sex is the primal engine behind so many of our complex desires, sexual submission is often the first instinct to naturally manifest in our interests and expressions. Many of us feel the combined forms of intellectual, emotional and spiritual submission/dominance are equally and ultimately more important if one aims to be submissive or dominant in the truest sense of the word.



< Message edited by amayos -- 1/18/2006 12:12:52 AM >

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 12:16:36 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Actually, for some of us the sexual aspects of this lifestyle are really just icing on the cake and not the primary motivators at all.
Ditto! M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/18/2006 12:17:14 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 12:31:55 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		For me, it was about control and harkening back to simpler times when the man of the house was the one in charge. Finding a man who is both educated and has street smarts, who is ambitious but also generous, a bit of arrogance and the confidence of one who knows he can not only take your power, but keep it, hone it and make you better for his control of it. Couple that with the fact that we laugh, a lot and, as others have said, the sex part is a huge perk to the D/s part.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 12:45:01 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Damn...if this is all about sex, I'm definitely doing something wrong!

Tasha

_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 12:54:48 AM   
Mauigurrlxxx


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I find it curious that not one profile with expansive descriptions on expectaions for a sub/slave/Dom whatever seems to excludes sexual mention. No profile says I seek an intellectual partner for mental and emotional stimulation and harmoinous companionship sans sex.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 1:09:08 AM   
Mauigurrlxxx


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Disclaimer: I believe all relationships between men and women should follow a D/s 'lifestyle' for the carnal/core reason that a women is always subserviant to a man but that does not mean she has any lack of intellect. But I see alot of overt sexual deviants online claiming to embrace 'lifestyle' and wonder if this is a accurate representation of most people in 'lifestyle'

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 1:30:00 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Unless I'm mistaken...my profile does not include sex, and there are a lot of others' I've seen who don't mention sex either.

Hell, it's been so long since I've HAD it, I can't even remember who gets tied up!!

But, I digress...

there are many reasons one may be compelled to follow their heart and/or their needs/deires into this lifestyle. Many mentioned much more eloquently by those before me.

I'd study a lot more about the lifestyle (if this is an interest) before looking at it from such a narrow perspective.

With that being said...put the mental, emotional, and physical aspects of it all together...and well...it's just gonna be intense, isn't it?

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 2:13:28 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

that not one profile with expansive descriptions on expectaions for a sub/slave/Dom


Mine does, or did I say quite throughly not looking for sexual intercourse, however I did add a caveat later much much later I'f like a sexual mentor

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 2:47:42 AM   
devanite


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		I believe that if you are in a relationship of this type of lifestyle then your bound to have sex eventually, it is still an act of love if your seeking a relationship its inevitable however there are plety of people out there who are also looking to be sexually dominatedand to be sexually dominant.

As you transgress to the lifestyle from just partial part of bdsm it becomes more apparent in the relationship of a persons lifestyle is going to beome sexual in some form or another (natural part of ourselves and cannot be avoided) try to remember that both the slave and mistress/master have desires and in any type of relationship I don't think either would be stupid enough to ignore them altogether!

Personally I'm doing this to find someone to control me for the rest of my life however both my life and hers will involve sex so it is inevitable (have I had sex, no I am still a virgin I just mb I am waiting cause I kinda want my virginity removed by force by the right person!)

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 3:38:03 AM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		Sexuality is integrated into all of who we are. I don't see how someone's sexuality could be separated from their intimate desires to connect with another person, which is a basic aspect of wiitwd (did I get the letters right?). Whether service-oriented, masochist, top, Master, etc., I believe that there is always an erotic component. If there wasn't then you could get a job cleaning someone's house and be just as fulfilled (for example).






(in reply to devanite)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 4:17:42 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Sex and servitude are two completely different things, though I would agree you couldn't tell by the many pictures of boobs and penises ( no pun intended)

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 4:28:31 AM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

quote:

Sex and servitude are two completely different things


I'm curious about others' perceptions, so please educate me: for those that see their "kink" as servitude, are you also saying that there is NO erotic component to that service/position? Then why is it a kink? Why seek servitude on a bdsm site instead of having it be a vocation where it's what you do for a living? Or as an avocation, where you volunteer to clean houses (or whatever the service is) for elderly or disabled?

I don't see my submission as completely sexual, but the sexual/erotic component is so intertwined that the actions I do in submission ARE erotic to me as well.

(in reply to fldrkhorse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 4:36:58 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Sex is only part of the BDSM D/s package, it's not the Whole Deal. In fact, some people in the lifestyle feel that sex actually distracts for what BDSM and D/s are really all about.

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 4:52:24 AM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		How are we defining "sex"? There doesn't have to be intercourse, or an orgasm, for an experience to be sexual (erotic...whatever). In keeping with the example, there is no erotic charge, no erotic thrill to performing service?

(in reply to MasterRobert1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 5:06:28 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

No profile says I seek an intellectual partner for mental and emotional stimulation and harmoinous companionship sans sex.



If one is looking for a life partner, then yes, sex is a natural progression in that level of relationship. However, I think many of us downplay the role of intercourse in favor of BDSM, because BDSM is the more important component. Many of us who see this as a "lifestyle" have gone the vanilla-sex-no-BDSM-relationship route at some point and found it lacking, no matter how good the vanilla sex was. Would we REALLY want someone as a life partner that we didn't find attractive and sexy and a good partner in bed, in addition to being a good bottom/top/sub/dominant? Probably not.

Another reason I tend to downplay the role of sex myself, simply so as not to have to deal with the masses who want the sex and kink without the relationship aspects, because I'm not overly interested in one without the other. I think most women who have been in the lifestyle for any period of time are familiar with the "you're kinky so you must be willing to have sex with anyone" attitude.



< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 1/18/2006 5:15:49 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/18/2006 5:15:31 AM   
cltcdrd


Posts: 86
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mauigurrlxxx

Can anyone give me another reason people decide to go from the vanilla world to the 'lifestyle' world besides broadening/exploring their sexual deviancies? Is there any core reason beside heightening their sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy their libido?


It's not all about sex. For some, sex has very, very little to do with the lifestyle. It's the pleasure that a person gets from serving another, making that person happy, making their life easier. To them, this is more important than just satisfying a sexual urge.


_____________________________

~~May Bright Blessings Be Bestowed Upon You and Yours~~

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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