Submissives who call the shots

Submissives who call the shots (Full Version)

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chainedgirl -> Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:08:26 PM)
i have been doing a lot of reading lately about the after affects of feminism. That essentially, what it has done is created women who expect everything to be given to them and done their way and men who cannot stand up to them and often cower. i have also been reading posts by Doms and Masters saying that many female submissives expect Doms/Masters to be living a certain way, earning a certain level of income and look a certain way. my understanding is, this is not the submissive's business. What should matter is how the two get along as a D/s couple or duing play times. i'm specifically interested to hear how Master's/Doms feel about this issue.

KatyLied -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:12:38 PM)
quote: this is not the submissive's business. Some people have standards. It's not a bad thing.

sojourner9 -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:14:46 PM)
I expect my potential submissives to live a certain way, earn a certain level of income, and look a certain way. So, it is no surprise that they expect similar things in what they are looking for.

Lynnxz -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:22:40 PM)
O.o I don't want to be with a man who can't manage his finances, can't take care of himself, and who isn't attractive to me. Sorry. I like my standards.

AquaticSub -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:24:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedgirl i have also been reading posts by Doms and Masters saying that many female submissives expect Doms/Masters to be living a certain way, earning a certain level of income and look a certain way. my understanding is, this is not the submissive's business. *What should matter is how the two get along as a D/s couple* or duing play times.** i'm specifically interested to hear how Master's/Doms feel about this issue. To get along well as a couple, certain factors that have little or nothing to do with BDSM need to be met. Like if the dominant wants/doesn't want kids, enjoys opera, is sexually attractive, etc. The same factors that have to met for a vanilla relationships have to be met for d/s one. We just aren't that different and, frankly, this doesn't have to do with feminism. It has to do with being happy in one's chosen relationship.

BitchGoddessD -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:27:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedgirl i have been doing a lot of reading lately about the after affects of feminism. That essentially, what it has done is created women who expect everything to be given to them and done their way and men who cannot stand up to them and often cower. This is not my experience. I was raised in feminist times. It has made me a strong woman that strong men choose to submit to.

slaveluci -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:31:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedgirl i have been doing a lot of reading lately about the after affects of feminism. I assume you mean "after effects." Hmmm, the "after effects of feminism." I'm curious as to what those are[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image] quote: That essentially, what it has done is created women who expect everything to be given to them and done their way and men who cannot stand up to them and often cower. I don't think women and men like that were "created" due to feminism. Some PEOPLE regardless of sex/gender, "expect everything to be given to" them. There have always been PEOPLE "who cannot stand up" for themselves and who "cower." I really don't believe for a second that it falls along gender lines or that feminism caused it. quote: i have also been reading posts by Doms and Masters saying that many female submissives expect Doms/Masters to be living a certain way, earning a certain level of income and look a certain way. Yep. As the others have said, it's called one's "standards." We all have them - uniquely tailored to our tastes - and to choose a partner while ignoring them will only lead to disaster sooner or later. We choose a partner - dominant or not - based on what we desire. To think otherwise is naive and foolish. quote: my understanding is, this is not the submissive's business. What is my "business" was discussed before I became His. It differs in every relationship, of course. He desires that lots of things are my "business" because He depends on me to help Him. quote: What should matter is how the two get along as a D/s couple or duing play times. Yep. That's a big part of what "should matter." There really are no "should's" that fit for everyone...................luci

MissIsis -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 6:32:51 PM)
Of course the life of a Master or Dominant one wants to take up with matters, & should matter even more to a submissive who is considering surrendering all that she is to this one person. She should want to know that is he is capable of taking care of himself. Otherwise, he has no business trying to take care of a submissive. She should know he is honest, & trustworthy & means what he says, because she will be putting herself in a position where she will need to trust him. I think it has little to do with feminism & should be much more about self preservation. Does she want to be with someone who continually breaks the law? If so, does she want to live without him, when he gets caught & goes away to prison or worse? If later, they should decide to add little ones to their family, shouldn't she want to know that he will be able to care for them & protect them? Is he going to be off doing drugs, or worse? Will he be going off taking care of someone elses family, while his own are left without a father figure? Will he be drinking more than is healthy? Is he doing things that will jeopardize his health? Is it possible that the way he is living, she will one day find herself living in the streets or at a homeless shelter? Should she really follow such a man blindly? To say this is not a submissive's business, is, in my opinion, quite naive.

SassySarijane -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 7:04:00 PM)
First and foremost, it's a relationship you are getting into. Are you going to get into a relationship with just anyone, or are you going to get into a relationship with someone that fits you? And I mean any kind of relationship whether it's friendship (do you become friends with everyone you meet?), love, marriage, D/s, M/s, etc. It is very much the submissive's business who they get involved with, what kind of person they get involved with and very much their right to have standards that help them determine the best fit for them. We are still people, still human beings first. You open yourself up for a lot of possible trouble when you forget that, forget the reality, and go for the fantasy.

catize -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 7:15:56 PM)
quote: and done their way Hi. My name is catize and I have topped from the bottom.

peppermint -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 7:33:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedgirl i have also been reading posts by Doms and Masters saying that many female submissives expect Doms/Masters to be living a certain way, earning a certain level of income and look a certain way. my understanding is, this is not the submissive's business. If a submissive has certain perferences....they are just that.....preferences. If they want a Dom who is over 6 feet tall, that is their preference and they don't have to settle for a 5'2" Dominant just because that person is a Dominant. Guess what? A submissive has CHOICE. A submissive does NOT have to accept the collar of any Dominant who does not fit in with the submissive's criteria. An uncollared submissive's business who is seeking a Dominant is to find that Dominant who best suits the needs of the submissive....hence......CHOICE and PREFERENCES are wonderful things for a submissive to have.

hamster11 -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 7:53:24 PM)
i agree with everyone else about the standards thing. i am sure we can talk about the effects of feminism but after effects? i didnt think feminism was over yet.

chainedgirl -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:12:09 PM)
Since this is in the Ask a Master section and i see no Master has (been able to?) reply, i am more than happy to have private replies from MASTERS.

Lynnxz -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:16:21 PM)
Sorry, this is collarme, and all of the women are nosy and opinionated. Besides, you missed a OMFGMASTERS reply in your haste to make an angry remark. I am curious though. Your profile tells other submissives to contact YOU for advice if they have doubts on a dominants behavior. What exactly qualifies you to give advice, while everyone else should shut up and let the big men talk?

Lashra -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:17:53 PM)
quote: i have been doing a lot of reading lately about the after affects of feminism. That essentially, what it has done is created women who expect everything to be given to them and done their way and men who cannot stand up to them and often cower. This has not been my experience and I have been a feminist for many years. In fact what I have seen is many men are recognizing that yes women are people deserving of equal rights rather than viewing them as second class citizens. Of course some men do not view us that way but that is their own issue. Most of the men I have been involved with never cowered, unless I had placed a collar around their neck then they did so when I told them too. Feminism is about choice, not putting anyone down. ~Lashra

GreedyTop -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:19:10 PM)
what is it with all these posters, lately, that seem to think that answers from someone without dangly bits arent worthy?

WyldHrt -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:20:02 PM)
quote: i am more than happy to have private replies from MASTERS. Oops, now you've gone and stepped in it. [:D] Funny thing about CM, anyone is allowed to reply to any thread they want as long as they don't violate the TOS. As to the OP, it most certainly IS a submissive's business when chosing a Dom to do so with care, part of which is standards. Afterwards, what is the sub's business is whatever was agreed to between the two people in the relationship, and there is no one answer that is "right".

Lynnxz -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:20:06 PM)
Greedy, if I strap a pink dangly bit on, do I count? ... or do I still have to sit in the corner? :(

Lashra -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:23:10 PM)
I wonder if its a way to troll. Because otherwise they would know that this is an open forum and that anyone can reply to posts here. Besides some Mistresses do use the title "Master" so if she just wants to hear from "dangly bits" she should have put that.[sm=dontfeedtrolls.gif] ~Lashra

DesFIP -> RE: Submissives who call the shots (2/18/2009 8:25:47 PM)
FR It is because I am a feminist that I have the ability to choose if I want a power relationship. In a society where women have no power, they have no choice, and therefore cannot consent. If you don't consent to such treatment, then it is abusive. With that said, if you think all women should have sex with whatever male asks them, then go do so. But be sure to carry enough medical insurance since I'm not interested in paying for your lasting illnesses. I don't submit to people I cannot respect. And I need a certain level of education and success to respect someone. Apparently all you need is for them to call themselves master. How is it working for you, submitting to every male that comes along? Obviously if you can't choose who to submit to, then you can't choose to refuse. So you must go around making and breaking promises since every new guy is your newest master, till the next one comes along.

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