quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

So talking about something she felt was happening, which already was... as she asked about someone he was all ready in communication with.. gave him the idea or desire to cheat and lie about it?

Victimized doesn't mean victim for long unless we allow it in a situation like this AND what her response is hasn't yet been determined. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leoni

If I told you what you should feel, would you feel differently?  How about you focus on what you do feel.  You're hurt and pissed off.  I don't know all the context here, but if you were having "long discussions" about it, I'm guessing that his sexual interest in this other woman was fairly clear.  So, you managed to extract an assertion from him that he wasn't going to act upon that interest (after a "long discussion") that he went back on.  Your first step out of your predicament is to recognize that your strategy of having a "long discussion" until he gives in ain't going to work.  Pretend for a moment that he just handed you a note that reads:

I MIGHT SAY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO SHUT YOU UP SOMETIMES, BUT I'M GOING TO DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE.

Read it, and believe it.  Now, do you still want to be there?  If so, how will you behave differently in the future, as not to waste your time and his, and set yourself up to be disappointed and pissed off again?  Notice I'm asking what you're going to do, not what he ought to do, or what you should try to get him to do.  In your situation, young Miss, that is all you can bank on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't care if you find my comments productive.
Constantly asking someone if he's going to do something is likely to:  put the idea in his head as constantly as you ask him and make it seem appealing.  She chooses to stay with him so I don't see her as a victim, it's her choice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysgurl2l

proof was fact I confronted him he said he was sorry and would never do it again I'm not leaving but it doesn't feel right every thing going back to normal

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysgurl2l

if a sub asks her owner if he's going to sleep with another woman she knows of and he says he will not after a long disscusion and the
sub says if he must she would simply like to know if he's going to and he still says he's not going to sleep with the woman .... a week later the sub finds out he did after all without telling her and there never being any other
women does it make sense for the sub to be hurt what should the sub feel?

If I told you what you should feel, would you feel differently?  How about you focus on what you do feel.  You're hurt and pissed off.  I don't know all the context here, but if you were having "long discussions" about it, I'm guessing that his sexual interest in this other woman was fairly clear.  So, you managed to extract an assertion from him that he wasn't going to act upon that interest (after a "long discussion") that he went back on.  Your first step out of your predicament is to recognize that your strategy of having a "long discussion" until he gives in ain't going to work.  Pretend for a moment that he just handed you a note that reads:

I MIGHT SAY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO SHUT YOU UP SOMETIMES, BUT I'M GOING TO DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE.

Read it, and believe it.  Now, do you still want to be there?  If so, how will you behave differently in the future, as not to waste your time and his, and set yourself up to be disappointed and pissed off again?  Notice I'm asking what you're going to do, not what he ought to do, or what you should try to get him to do.  In your situation, young Miss, that is all you can bank on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysgurl2l
...what should the sub feel?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysgurl2l
...what should the sub feel?

How in the world should we know how you should feel.  Just start your next OP like this saying,

"He cheated, please give me sympathy"

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysgurl2l

if a sub asks her owner if he's going to sleep with another woman she knows of and he says he will not after a long disscusion and the
sub says if he must she would simply like to know if he's going to and he still says he's not going to sleep with the woman .... a week later the sub finds out he did after all without telling her and there never being any other
women does it make sense for the sub to be hurt what should the sub feel?