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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 8:32:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The first post?  I can't really say it would give Me an impression one way or the other.  As another thread going on right now points out, it's not anything that hasn't been heard before.  In most cases, anyone who posts that type of thing as their initial generally fades away anyway.




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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 8:34:46 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

As long as the complaint appears reasonable, I wouldn't care one way or the other. If it's overly whiny or seems unreasonable to me, that certainly doesn't help, but I don't care whether it's the first post or the umpteenth post. People make too many rash judgments based on first impressions, and a lot of times those first impressions are wrong. The profile matters more to me than whether the first post is a complaint.


Exactly!!
 
Jewel

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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 8:35:22 AM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		~FR~

Honestly...

It probably wouldn't matter to me too much. If it was the only focus of who they were as a person, I'd find that out through talking to them. I know that on forums in generally I can be seen as whiny... and about some issues I am. It's been my experience that everyone's whiny about something.

It also boils down to how they understand to communicate with others. Not everyone (myself included) is 'good' at it on forums, but one-on-one communication is much simpler and easier to catch a bigger glimpse of the whole person.

(in reply to MsDDom)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 8:35:50 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds


The question is would you be interested in a person of either side of the whip, whose first post was in the form of complaining about the people on CM? Why would you be interested or not is what I am seeking.

I know if i was looking, and I am not, they would be automatically x out by me, because I feel it is not putting your best foot forward. I assume looking for someone is frustrating, but I also believe if you start out complaining, it tells a lot about how you view life.


I guess it would depend on what they were complaining about. Someone in bum fuck Egypt complaining there are no viable partners in their area might have a very valid beef and I would cut that sort of post more slack because it is born of genuine frustration. Someone coming into the submissive\slave forum just to make bullshit comments that "all" slaves and submissives are this or that and lumps us into one big kettle I do not appreciate. Case by case for me and, generally, I do try to be helpful especially when someone specifically asks what is wrong but my critiques are not often appreciated. Ah well. Quite often people ask for an honest assessment, but they do not really want to hear it.

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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 8:44:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It would be a strong negative for me. I am not interested in people who cannot ever enjoy anything unless everything is perfect. Someone who has no balanced posts of positives would strike me as someone who would never be happy. And who had less than average social skills as well.

After all, would you start a new job by complaining about your coworkers, your boss, the furniture etc? Do you get an invitation to a party and then complain about the other guests, the food, your host's decor? In this case, we are all gate crashers at the party which makes it more important to put your best foot forward.

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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 9:57:24 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		It wouldn't bother me unduly. Half of the time they say things that I already think privately anyhow, which I sometimes find slightly amusing.

I suppose I'm not the kind of person to put my* best foot forward* so don't find it much of a turn off, personally.

I would add that it depends WHAT they are saying, though.

agirl





(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 10:21:25 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		What bothers me more is first time posters telling everyone else exactly how the lifestyle is supposed to be lived.  Still, I watch for following posts to see if someone learns their lesson.  I think that the first post is often the hardest for someone, especially if they haven't read many posts and don't understand that you need to be prepared for opinions different than yours and for downright rude ones and need to have tough skin.

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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 10:24:31 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		No, I would not be interested.
I don't care what they look like, how they make me feel...any of that
I can not stand whiners who complain about others; especially those whom they have never even met face to face.

Makes me want to gag.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 10:52:37 AM   
WiseCracknSadist


Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		Rants and whining can sound a lot like the same thing and we're all human.

Of course whining and b!tching are pretty similar as well.

It's all complaining just under different contexts. We all, at one time or another, blow off steam by doing one of the above.


(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 11:00:57 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
...The question is would you be interested in a person of either side of the whip, whose first post was in the form of complaining about the people on CM? Why would you be interested or not is what I am seeking...


Nothing's perfect.
All matters should be subject to discussion.
Therefor it depends entirely upon the content.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 11:14:13 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the replies everyone. I was just curious. I know i have my whining moments but do try to save everyone from thathair raising experience.

oceanwynds

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 12:22:26 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Those posts are usually of the "I can't get a real date" and I'm pissed form.

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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 12:38:34 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		And then we have the ones like the thread that just got deleted. Long sermons about how horribly wicked and mean we all are. How we, as a community (gag choke) need to be more kind and welcoming to all.

Cue in birds singing, flowers blooming, and all that Disney rot.....................

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 12:58:08 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I was just curious. I know i have my whining moments but do try to save everyone from thathair raising experience.

oceanwynds


This was something I was thinking about.  Quite often in this thread, people have referred to whining.  Tell Me where the line is between whining and expressing those things that aren't especially happy. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 1:00:52 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		I missed  a thread again? darn.

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RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 1:11:39 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds
...The question is would you be interested in a person of either side of the whip, whose first post was in the form of complaining about the people on CM? Why would you be interested or not is what I am seeking...


Nothing's perfect.
All matters should be subject to discussion.
Therefor it depends entirely upon the content.


I think similarly. I wouldn't make any distiction between die-hard posters and someone new posting , I've read plenty of dubious whinges/spiteful and nasty digs/rants/ illogical thinking/crap reasoning from regular posters......(I include myself in that).

If the content is sound ....fair play.

agirl



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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 1:14:59 PM   
SummerWind


Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline 		Complaining people are a big complaint of mine.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 1:51:19 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Most likely I would take a wait and see approach to determine if whining and griping were their default mode of communication. 

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(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 2:39:23 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I was just curious. I know i have my whining moments but do try to save everyone from thathair raising experience.

oceanwynds


This was something I was thinking about.  Quite often in this thread, people have referred to whining.  Tell Me where the line is between whining and expressing those things that aren't especially happy. 



Good question, LadyPact.

Whining is not coming straight out and asking for what you want, but instead mop, complain and sigh, at least for me. I not real confrontation, though can be occassionally.  I seldom whine to Sir either, but there are those menapausal days. Thank goodness he understand that, but still corrects in a statement. "Say what you want and mean what you say".

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Would you be interest in... - 2/19/2009 3:14:21 PM   
tornaway


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		 
    Negativity in any form , is a big turn-off to me .   And especially when I hear anyone berating others and putting them down - to me this is a sure indication that their self-worth is not too sturdy , and that they likely look at the world through cloudy glasses .   I'm looking for a serious connection , so a moaner would be out of the question . 
 
    But I wouldn't even want to play casually with someone down on the world .   Unless they were totally hot ,  and very firmly gagged for the entire duration - then maybe !
 
   

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 40
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