feydeplume
Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008 Status: offline
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So I met a Master here on CollarMe and I am planning on meeting him this weekend. WHoo congrats on a hook-up! Which I am excited about. I bet, it is exciting to meet a potential partner, especially when you are new. He is a very carring Master, but yet a very strict Master from what I can tell. Yeah it is sort of hard to tell how Mastery will play out in real life compared to online time spent talking. Since I am new to a M/s relationship he told me tonight that when I go to live with him I will spend the first month locked in the basement. Did he send you pix of the basement yet, since it will be, essentially, who you will be dating for the first month. have you talked to the basement and how do you feel about it's level of caring and strictness? I will have to earn my way upstairs. sooo, what does he mean by "earn" and what happens if you fail his criteria? What happens when you do earn your way up and how will that change your relationship? and are you going to be able to walk away from your relationship with the basement just for him? Is this ok? I guess, from your post, that you are feeling uneasy about it, possibly because of the lack of contact with the basement? I am egar to learn from him and please him. What are you actually eager to learn from him? details girl, I want details. Is he going to teach you higher math or how to be bored or what? And do you want to please HIM or are you looking for a mutually pleasurable experience? I want him to teach me how to be a good little slave from him. OOHHH here is the big red flag to me. You want him to teach you to be a good little slave. I bet you already have ideas about what being a slave is and i bet, as you said you are new to this, they are over the moon stuff. And yanno what? A Master doesn't "teach" you how to be a slave, he teaches you how to do things he likes his way. THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE. Should I worry about this? Obviously you are, so maybe take a day or two to write out what worries you about him, being a slave and what that means to you (not just the sexy bits, but what boring bits you believe will be part of it), being taught to be a slave, his basement, and what you mean by strict. Oh and why you want to jump into the part of this swimming hole that has such an intense rip-tide. Is that because of your fantasies or because you have read and internalized A LOT about what it means to actually be a slave and cannot face or desire or accept a relationship where you are treated as something other than slave (and what do you mean by slave any way?) Or is this something common Masters do to train their Slaves? Some, on occasion, if the kink is good for them both and there is already a ton of trust and reality in the relationship. But it is very, very rare and not for many people. First off, can you spend all day by yourself with no interactions and not feel lonely? We have spent alot of time talking and sharing thoughts and desires and I do trust him and feel he is a good carring person, as well as being a strict Master. No you don't trust him. He just hasn't wildly overstepped your limits online yet. alot of time talking is counted in years, not days or months. You feel that he is caring you say, but why do you feel this way? what has he done/said that makes you feel this way (see the list of lists above) and the strict bit, this seems to be a kink or issue or something that you think has to be true for it to be M/s. LOOK at that thought long and hard, not just in terms of this guy, but for yourself. WHY "STRICT" as compared to experienced, really sexy, empathetic, ethically honorable, damned good at X Y or Z? and why do you say strict and caring like they are mutually exclusive or a rare combination? Just being locked in the basement for a months scares me. YOU SAY FOR MONTHS>>>>> what are you leaving out of this "tell me what to do" email? have you already decided to fail to earn your way upstairs, are you pretty sure there is no way that you can jump through his hoops to earn upstairs time? Do you want to live in a basement? JUST PLEASE LOOK AT YOUR OWN ASSUMPTIONS HERE. From this statement, taken with what else you have said, this relationship with the basement hasn't been developed much (pix, emails, "lots" of time talking, so I can understand your fear. Also it is, depending on the basement, pretty extreme because it implies so many things like losing all contact with loved ones, friends, casual conversation, mental stimulation, and has been known (isolation cells) to drive people mad, like barking at the moon unable to function and institutionalized. So again, i say work on developing the relationship with the basement, if you have any real interest in this particular kink and what it takes to earn your way out and how things will change and .... What do you think? any advice or comments would be really appreciated. Meet the guy and have some fun with getting to know a real person that you have talked to online. THEN find and join a local group so you can get over newbie-itis and see the wide variety of possibilities out there. And send me pix of the basement if it is hawt...
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