RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (Full Version)

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beargonewild -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 5:40:19 PM)

I still fail to see how the title to this topic is degrading to women when it was a woman who made the OP. my interpretation is she was pondering the fact of older women who desire to have  a man that is 10, 15, 20 yrs younger then they are. The gist I am getting is many woman have a persona; preference not to date a younger man simply because they are often green behind the ears when it comes to maintaining a stable relationship. Yes there are exceptions to this and always will be.
   From where I sit, it doesn't matter if there is a large age difference between a couple, what is most important is they want to be together because they have formed and maintain some sort of a strong bond between them and this issue of age means less than a hill of beans.
I for one have always been attracted to another who was several years older. Does this make me a biased.....no. This correctly implies that it is the higher level of emotional maturity and the seasoned life experiences of that person which I find highly desirable and attractive. Which I believe is what many of the women here are saying.



beeble -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 5:46:52 PM)

quote:

ShaktiSama wrote:
Try to get this clear: I don't give a damn where anyone else sets their personal boundaries. What I care about is whether the speak about and to others in a rude, belittling, and degrading fashion.

Right.  Well, the next time you feel like caring about not being rude, belittling or degrading, I suggest you refrain from accusing me of
  • being bigoted,
  • `[insulating myself] from reality',
  • `arbitrarily changing the subject',
  • `[recycling] the tactics that get used on gay people',
  • accusing you of being a `fucking child molester', a `rapist of children',
  • `dehumanizing' you.
beeble.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 6:26:18 PM)

Thanks, Bear.  I think that IS what Lockit and I were saying. 

When I was a young person, I was a good caregiver.  I was intelligent, mature, hardworking, all those things.  Thirty years later... well, I am much more experienced.  I look back at even the last TEN years and am startled.  I seek out people with similar amounts of life experience.  I fully accept that there are people in their sunset years who have had less life experience than BoiJen, and handled it with less grace.  I don't think anyone said that age necessarily equated experience, did they?   Perhaps they did, I was too distracted trying to figure out how I became the bad guy by liking older men.

The hottest character on "LOST" is John Locke.   I heart Terry O'Quinn.  I would knock Josh Hartnett aside to get to him.  THAT IS MY PREFERENCE.

I am really sorry that anyone was offended by the words I keep repeating, and even sorrier that folks are reading more into what I said. 



MoGa -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 6:58:43 PM)

<Hugs Lady H> Just because.



PsyVamp -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 7:18:47 PM)

I will be 42 on Sunday.
I used to think that there were people that were "too young".  Now I just don't bother with ages (as long as they are a legal consenting adult).  I go on mutual attraction and some type of commonality.

My pet is 24 (too bad he is turning 25 at the end of March, we would have been flipped ages, lol).  Yes, sometimes he is too young for Me.   The things that he likes are sometimes more in line with My adult son than with Me.
But not when he kneels....
and not when the bedroom door is locked....
At those points in time, he has no age, he is simply My pet, My wolf
and it works.

Good luck!
Lady Jag



ShaktiSama -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 7:22:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

I still fail to see how the title to this topic is degrading to women when it was a woman who made the OP.


Women are more than capable of saying and doing things that are degrading to women. Those who don't think so have not been subjected to enough diatribes from Annie Coulter.



ShaktiSama -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 7:44:02 PM)


quote:


Right.  Well, the next time you feel like caring about not being rude, belittling or degrading, I suggest you refrain from accusing me of
  • being bigoted,
  • `[insulating myself] from reality',
  • `arbitrarily changing the subject',
  • `[recycling] the tactics that get used on gay people',
  • accusing you of being a `fucking child molester', a `rapist of children',
  • `dehumanizing' you.


If the shoe fits--wear it. I did not draw you into this discussion by making nasty generalizations about submissive men or any other group you belong to, nor any group your loved ones belong to. You jumped in on the attack and immediately led with an attempt to yank the discussion off-course with some bs digression about child molestation and age of consent laws, deliberately invoking criminal images like having sexual relationships with children of ten to muddy the waters.

I've seen this tactic used many times by people defending their irrational prejudices against homosexuality--so if you don't like being called on these tactics, then don't use them. Having gay sex with adult men is NOT morally identical in ANY way to molesting little boys, and neither is being involved with a younger man as an older woman. Any suggestion that the two things bear comparison is BEYOND the vale of the abhorrently rude and stupid, and frankly deserves far harsher words than any I've dealt you.



ShaktiSama -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 8:00:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I was too distracted trying to figure out how I became the bad guy by liking older men.


You're not the bad guy for liking a certain type of men. Problem is, piping up in a "cougar" thread about the virtues of older men is like piping up about your love of skinny chicks in a Fat Thread. Not the best time, y'know? Tendency to guilt by association when other people are going to be saying some pretty unattractive things.

Nevertheless I apologize for ranting in "reply" to one of your posts when my reply was more generalized. Bad day, with too much Latin and too little sleep. Mea culpa, and I hope you can forgive me.



OneMoreWaste -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 8:39:33 PM)

So I take it this thread is not about kitty roleplay?
[image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s14.gif[/image]



TranceTara -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 10:17:36 PM)

quote:

MissMorrigan
Tara, what is 'too old', too old to enjoy life? Too old to have the capacity to love and be loved? Where does that come from, hon?

I now realize it was not a matter of being too old, but too ill. LaTigresse mentioned that in one of her posts, using age as an excuse when in fact it was a physical limitaion.

9 months ago I could barely walk one block without using my inhaler and stopping to catch my breath. Panic attacks would be triggered from all my inhalers plus I was on 30 to 60 mg of prednisone daily, for over 5 years. I am slowly rebuilding my adrenals. *AND* the other day, a coworker was smiling and commented how nice it was because I can now run up a flight of stairs and do all kinds of things and not need my inhaler.

And like you, I may never run a marathon, but I can go for gentle hikes right now. In a few months I'm planning on bigger hikes.

Age is a number. Maturity is a process. Some process quickly and others take a long time.

After reading all the posts in this thread I realize how we all have our little biases, even about biases. We all have preconceived ideas about reality. That is why I enjoy getting so many different points of view. It shows me where I may be holding onto an opinion and not really receiving another. When that happens I look at the feeling, see where it is located in my body, what attachment I have to it and how I can let that attachment go in order to truly receive another person. It is not always very easy! I'm a Taurus; not stubborn, just sure of my opinions. [:D]

I thank you for your most insightful words MissMorrigan. I shall be copying and pasting your words so I can meditate upon them and go deeper into myself to scrape off more of that coal to find the diamond.

And GT, I think I'm getting a crush on you. [;)] Will you be wearing a kilt alongside your husband?



TranceTara -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/27/2009 10:24:28 PM)

quote:

A picnic on the beach sounds divine! Ask away, I'll book my ticket... oh bugger, you didn't mean me?!?  Here I was wondering what you would pack into that picnic, I love cucumber, and egg mayonnaise sandwiches, oh oh and scones, I adore scones.


Blimey! Please forgive me for not seeing that immediately. Would that be with Devonshire cream, jam, both, or none? Any relish with the egg mayonniase sandwich? Would that be cucumber with any particular ahem, dressing? [:D]hehehe Or a nice cucumber sandwich?

Edited to add: Would you like some Earl Grey, PG Tips, English Breakfast or Whiskey with that as well?



GreedyTop -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 12:25:40 AM)

Kilt? When /if I can ever afford one..have you SEEN the prices???



MsMillgrove -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 12:55:31 AM)

Oh gosh a great place to join this thread. which i somehow missed.  Smack in the middle of some argument I don't really follow, with comments unrelated so that whatever I say will just drift under the bed like a dust bunny.

Well here goes:
I love being a cougar.  I spent a lot of time getting over here and had so much fun on the way. If men say I am HOT, hey great.  I chose to believe it, true or not.  Because I FEEL hot.  Cannot help the part where things are falling apart and not cooperating with my mind.

There's a point no one has made yet, and hiding under the bed as I am.. well i will whisper in case someone hears.

The age of a person.. as in a 20-year-old or one who is 40... is related not only to their chronology but also to the decades in which they lived, the way they set their patterns.

The top 5 men that i have simply adored in the past twelve years would be now between the ages of 87-93.  Only two are still alive.  One's a genuine war hero (WW2)

There's something different about these men, they treat women in a way that is courtly.
Absolutely courtly. They never mention one word that puts women down--they seem to cherish women, their wives..and all "ladies" as they'd say.  It's an amazing experience to spend time in their company.  Maybe some of you know what I mean.

I have never been attracted to men of my own age or those 20 years older.  These are just generalizations (of course there were delightful exceptions). In this group--of 60-80..whew there is so much strange entitlement, and the comments they'll make towards women--knocks my sox off.  To sit with the guys in a reunion committee, most of them bald and fat--and hear this crap repeated all over again... as tho no time had passed since High School.. my god it creeps me out.  And I hear this from men in that age range very commonly.

Down in the 40's I just love those men, I like their music, I like their styles... they appeal to me.

I think as much as we can say--oh the early twenties--the dewy peaches.. yum yum, there's also the "spirit of the times" that helped form a male. Some of us notice this and chose accordingly to the decades that match to our tastes. If you like those in the 40's now--I think you'll like them as they grow older.  And I wish I knew how those magnificent men in their 90's were formed--I need that recipe.

Just a thought from under the bed here.



MistressRouge -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 1:05:07 AM)

We I am enjoying my approach to my 40th birthday this year, and cannot wait to embrace my 40's.

I actually felt the same when I was approaching my 30th birthday, while all my close friends were dreading it totally.
I must say my 30's are/were wonderful, how I hated my 20's lol.

I have noticed since last year really, that I am attracting young fresh subs, for sessions. This must be incontrast with my approach to the big 40, that is my belief anyway [:)]

I have a teenage son, so he is still underage for BDSM, and actually in 10 years time I would not really compare any subs to my son's age.

I am not ageist, so age is of no importance to me to be honest. I play/session/scene with subs of all ages, not having a preference of younger subs.

I believe a Dominant female is in her prime, well in her 50's and beyond anyway, some young subs really do adore a mature lady [:D]



TranceTara -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 1:12:28 AM)

OCH! I just looked. How about not going for the older, more tradtional ones, but a newer, younger model [;)]:

http://www.utilikilts.com/index.php?page_id=46

I am going to save up for a workman's and hopefully get it for my birthday. All those toys, I mean tools, you can store in your kilt!




MistressRouge -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 1:33:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

I'm not sure what you allude to when you refer to a 'Cougar',


cougar (as defined by the urban dictionary)


Thankgoodness, I am not a Cougar [:)]



Vendaval -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 4:10:43 AM)

BoiJen,
 
I really admire the strength, dedication and emotional connection between you and Miss Kitty. 
 
Warm regards,
 
Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
I'm 16 years Her junior. I've already been dealing with the insurance company about this with Her and strive to educate myself about what can be done to help Her. I have major issues around touching Her back where the metal is still in Her back. I can FEEL it because the tissue is thin there. I have high suspicions that the metal is causing irritation and the swelling.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 6:01:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

So I take it this thread is not about kitty roleplay?
[&o]



Sure didn't you see the claws come out and the fur fly?[8|]
 
There are a thousand stories in the Naked City ( that's a qoute from a tv show a LONG time ago on the black and white tv days), for every one of triumph, there will always a thousand of tragedy and vice versa.  We are human, pathetically human--we are not one size fits all, we are not moroninc masses who simply yes "yes Mahster" and drag off to eat bugs. We IN THE FREE WORLD, are allowed choice and with choice comes arrogance, degradation, judgement, anger, hatred and the beat goes on.
 
No matter what My choice is from tampons to meatballs to house to clothes to men---I will always annoy, irritate, offend and shun someone-its a fact. However, if asked My opinion, I am going to offer it--by asking, one risks a response they don't like, by giving it I risk the same. There will always be someone ready to jump "shit" when there is an opinion, idea, concept that we feel we have to defend because it isn't one we hold--note I used the word DEFEND--because that is what I saw here---the need to defend, the knee jerk reaction to someone else's opinion, and that is not going to stop as we are pathetically human.
 
Now here is My weigh in: ages ago before I was established, had life altering things to consider--I dated younger men--I do not choose to do it today, it just wouldn't work in My life--its My choice. I do not look down upon others who do, however, My intimate life circle is also not inclusive of those relationships? Prejudice? Some might say so, its more that My life does not come into contact, present itself or interconnect with relationships like that because most of our mutual interests tend to be vastly different--and occasions of that kind of relationship  are very rare in My age group, in My town in My outside interest groups.( Oh btw I am a friggin sassy 57). Its not for Me, but just because it isn't, I don't need someone preaching in My ear that I am opionated and judgemental-obviously because I don't choose that path, I am opinionated.
 
Now do I think those women are cougars? If the relationship is pure of heart and to the mutual benefit--no, if its predatory leaving carnage at every turn---yes, but I say the same thing for the male species as well.
 
If it works for you, bravo-if its not your thing--bravo--after all it isn't what we do in all our lives that matters, its what we remember or regret in the last 5 minutes when the lights begin to grow dim and the legacy we have left behind.
 
 



LadyPact -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 6:46:15 AM)

You folks have all of the fun when I have to work odd hours.  I thought I'd get this one in before I have to sleep for the day.

It seems there's at least one who is up in arms over My choice of wording.  If it was so offending, I'll apologize.  However, My quick attempt at being glib is based on certain opinions that I do have.

I am ready to admit, up front, that I don't find the majority of folks 18-21 to have a high maturity level.  I didn't gather the information that led to this opinion from one source.  It comes from many different directions.   Those include family, neighbors, co-workers (the work under Me, but still work at the same place), this site, and lifestyle events. 

When I said I could "squash someone like a bug," there is some truth in that.  Do I believe I could take a young, immature, impressionable, inexperienced in life and lifestyle person and turn him/her into a quivering mess from a good mind fuck?  You'd better believe I do.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I could make a lot of the old tricks new again and really screw up someone's day.  Could I probably do the same thing on a physical level from a good dash of sadism?  I think My chances are pretty good. 

Now, some could argue that the above could be said about those who are higher in age.  I won't say that's not entirely true.  However, one would hope that somewhere in the mix, as people do get older, they should acquire some traits that aren't as common as the age of those I used in the hypothetical.  For example, someone who is 40 may not have a lot of play experience, but they do have more life experience.  I may not be as able to get over on them as easily. 

I happen to think beeble made a pretty good point.  There is a difference between those traits of a person such as age and maturity that will change, and those such as race or orientation that will not.  Also, as another alluded, there is a line between defending, and defensive.

Maybe, I'm misunderstanding the use and definition of the word in the title of the thread.  I took it to mean an older woman who preyed on younger persons for sexual exploits.  Not for those in committed "autumn/spring" relationships.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar (2/28/2009 7:26:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Maybe, I'm misunderstanding the use and definition of the word in the title of the thread.  I took it to mean an older woman who preyed on younger persons for sexual exploits.  Not for those in committed "autumn/spring" relationships.
That is my perception of a cougar, and that is why I object to the term.   
I generally don't date much younger than myself, but am actually starting to open my mind about the matter, because lord knows, getting older doesn't often teach a man to obey and follow, if he hasn't had strong examples to teach him that being a man has very little to do with being dominant within a relationship.    M



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