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When slave is ready the master will come - 2/27/2009 6:02:38 PM

Prinsexx

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There's a well known Zen saying: when the student is ready the teacher will come...
I like the concept of Zen...that something is defined as much as by what it is not than by what it is. That a one handed clap , which cannot be heard, reminds us of the sound of clapping hands because of the silence.
When a slave is ready her Master will come.... I've done my fair share of moaning. I done more than my fair share of blame. You know because when things go wrong it fels like well it's simply got to be the other person whose wrong, right? I mean it truly feels like that. There one moment is this god amongst gods, the all pervasive, all powerful, near omnipotent Master and then poof! as if by perverse magic....he's gone, all his qualities, his rights, his control...
When all the time it could have been me, likelihood it was me, chances are it is me... who just isn't ready..... and I have been unprepared for my Prince in so many ways: feelings of lack of worth, negative thoughts, stubbornness, neediness, arrogance as compensation, splitting myself into facets of myself, tension, stressed, worried, working to hard... non of this frames of mind truly put me, nor would these frames of mind put anyone in the best space to appreciate the qualities of the Other.
But to feel worthy, to feel whole, the sense of being open to receive, to want the best for oneself, the feel deserving of attention and sensation, to feel honoured by control...
So look I've got to grips with a very simple and yet complex thing... when the slave is ready the right Master appears.
Is this a philosophy you share?
Where are you at right now in feeling it is your responsibility...the dynamic you have?
Where are you at in believing it is because of the Other person that you feel the way you do?
When you were truly ready did the perfect Other come into your life?
What did they teach you?
And yet what did you learn?

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 2/27/2009 6:03:50 PM >

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/27/2009 6:09:15 PM

daddysliloneds

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nope; i don't believe things or people magically appear when the time is right; i believe things or people appear and things happen for those that take the proactive approach

(in reply to Prinsexx)

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/27/2009 6:17:37 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

nope; i don't believe things or people magically appear when the time is right; i believe things or people appear and things happen for those that take the proactive approach

That's it's a submissive thing to do... sit and wait until the time is right... I wasn't suggesting this. It might not appear as proactive, but getting prepared, preparedness, is proactivity.

_____________________________

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/27/2009 6:21:20 PM

camille65

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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

There one moment is this god amongst gods, the all pervasive, all powerful, near omnipotent Master and then poof! as if by perverse magic....he's gone, all his qualities, his rights, his control...
When all the time it could have been me, likelihood it was me, chances are it is me... who just isn't ready..... and I have been unprepared for my Prince in so many ways: feelings of lack of worth, negative thoughts, stubbornness, neediness, arrogance as compensation, splitting myself into facets of myself, tension, stressed, worried, working to hard... non of this frames of mind truly put me, nor would these frames of mind put anyone in the best space to appreciate the qualities of the Other.

I see that.. as totally unrealistic. I'm sorry but IMO that sort of thinking just sets a person up for failure.

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 3:14:55 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

There one moment is this god amongst gods, the all pervasive, all powerful, near omnipotent Master and then poof! as if by perverse magic....he's gone, all his qualities, his rights, his control...
When all the time it could have been me, likelihood it was me, chances are it is me... who just isn't ready..... and I have been unprepared for my Prince in so many ways: feelings of lack of worth, negative thoughts, stubbornness, neediness, arrogance as compensation, splitting myself into facets of myself, tension, stressed, worried, working to hard... non of this frames of mind truly put me, nor would these frames of mind put anyone in the best space to appreciate the qualities of the Other.

I see that.. as totally unrealistic. I'm sorry but IMO that sort of thinking just sets a person up for failure.

Faith in that it would all turn out perfectly at the end of the day has often been the type of blind faith that has kept me going. It's difficult to reconcile that type of thinking I know with the belief that one has to be always doing the right thing, doing something proactively, working towards self-set goals.
But, as it happens my faith has been rewarded perfectly.

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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Post #: 5

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 4:15:04 AM

InTonguesslave

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i do believe in the power of intention - that the universe or whomesover it is, does listen to you and knows what you want and i do believe that when and if the time is right those things will come to you. but you have to at least accept this in order to see how it works.

and i know that i could not have considered Ms even a year ago, whereas now, though im finding it hard to let go of my independance i am more than ready in my heart to be his slave.

sometimes we think we're ready when we're not. i thought i was ready for Sir years ago, but i wasnt. only until now do i realise that i was far from ready. if he and i had met a year ago we would have struggled to match on the D/Ms front.

what i have learnt here and on my own and through the experiences ive had with other people, the internalising and thought processes, the experimentations, the ups and the downs has all been a path, unique to me and unique to where im going. thats true for everyone.

theres another thread runing, basically asking if we can over think something. they are at a point where theyre path is maybe just starting - they may get on it, they may not - the point is to just take that turn in the road if it comes along and let the experiences that follow lead you to where youre going.

sorry, a pet passion of mine

oh and im not a fatalist, but i do believe in fate.

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 2/28/2009 5:04:00 AM >

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 4:47:48 AM

KatyLied

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I think that the best you can do is try hard to project positive energy. I know that when there is negative stuff going on around me it's a downer and it sometimes comes off in how I project myself to other people. I don't think you should spend time getting ready for some person who may or may not show up, who may or may not exist. What is the point in living your life waiting for something (some person) to show up? I think you should live your life for you, be busy, occupied and become an overall interesting person, be attractive in your thoughts and deeds. Be open to what may be offered up.

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(in reply to InTonguesslave)

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:04:14 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

i do believe in the power of intention - that the universe or whomesover it is, does listen to you and knows what you want and i do believe that when and if the time is right those things will come to you. but you have to at least accept this in order to see how it works.

and i know that i could not have considered Ms even a year ago, whereas now, though im finding it hard to let go of my independance i am more than ready in my heart to be his slave.

sometimes we think we're ready when we're not. i thought i was ready for Sir years ago, but i wasnt. only until now do i realise that i was far from ready. if he and i had met a year ago we wouldnt have matched atall.

You've said this actually far better than I could have or did say it.
All the wrong turns, all the almost but not quites, all the knowing-in-the-back-of-my=mind that what I had put myself through was actually not perfect when I was saying yes, yes, thank you, please....and knowing I didn't really want to be doing it. I thought that that was what a good emotional masochist was supposed to be feeling...doing something and not wanting to for the sake of service.
Thank you for expressing the process of getting what you want as a result of faith better than I did.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 8

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:10:42 AM

InTonguesslave

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katylied - i agree with you that waiting for/believing in 'the one' thing is the wrong way to go. i think too many opportunities are missed because a person doesnt quite fit the perfect image in someones head because even if they turn out to be the wrong one for whatever reason, you will still take something with you that you wouldnt have learnt if you'ld held back.

i think it is all about being out there and absorbing what comes along and in the process that fine-tunes us by the process of elimination and personal development.

in that way the chances are youre probably more likely to find someone better suited to you than if you stay standing in the same place, refusing to grow or learn from the choices youve made.

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:12:33 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

knowing I didn't really want to be doing it.

I think many of us have had those moments. What I do is focus on the positive of the relationship and try not to call up those negative things that are self-defeating to my self-esteem. It is much easier to post-mortem the relationship when you've moved months beyond it than it is to realize exactly what's going on when it's happening.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:24:46 AM

DesFIP

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Yes, it is our responsibility to become the sort of people that the people we want to be with will want to be with. However you still have to be actively open to meeting people.

You can do all the hard work, but if you don't talk to people, do not expect anyone to know you are there and break down your door to get to you. They won't and probably because the kind of people they want to be with aren't just sitting there hoping to get picked.

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:28:11 AM

InTonguesslave

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Yes, it is our responsibility to become the sort of people that the people we want to be with will want to be with.

now try saying that really quickly five times!!!

of course the really interesting part of that (que spooky music) is that we dont know what sort of people our experiences will make us ultimately and therefore we cannot possibly know who these people are that we want until the experiences we've had make us open to the people we become attractive to... umm

and of course, thats true in all aspects of life - im discovering. im changing massively at the moment, faster than i can keep up with, i love it. from this change opportunities are suddenly flying up at me that i actually turned down a year or so ago. those opportunities have come back and im taking them on now. so....,

the way i see it - life knocks on your door with things, you may be ready now, or you may need to fine tune and tweek a bit more before it feels absolutely right for you. but its like the universe is saying 'hey, how about this - no?, not right now? oh, ok, later on then, ill be back'

it is about taking up the thought, absorbing it and letting it filter - but the seed is sown, the intention is there and the future path is there for us to follow today or tomorrow or not atall.

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 2/28/2009 5:55:04 AM >

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:31:35 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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Being proactive to me is actively being involved in my search and getting out there. I don't believe in things happening by some cosmic force. I believe in making things happen and when we are ready for it we do it.

I understand what you are saying but don't agree with the philosophy , it just doesn't work for me.

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:35:02 AM

malloves69

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by the way isnt that supposed to be cum ?

mal

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:35:33 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

When all the time it could have been me, likelihood it was me, chances are it is me... who just isn't ready..... and I have been unprepared for my Prince in so many ways: feelings of lack of worth, negative thoughts, stubbornness, neediness, arrogance as compensation, splitting myself into facets of myself, tension, stressed, worried, working to hard... non of this frames of mind truly put me, nor would these frames of mind put anyone in the best space to appreciate the qualities of the Other.
But to feel worthy, to feel whole, the sense of being open to receive, to want the best for oneself, the feel deserving of attention and sensation, to feel honoured by control...

It sounds as if you realise you have to be in a healthy space within yourself to have a healthy relationship.

That is a great place for a good beginning

edit due to laptop glitch

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 2/28/2009 5:39:03 AM >

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:45:57 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

Yes, it is our responsibility to become the sort of people that the people we want to be with will want to be with.

now try saying that really quickly five times!!!

of course the really interesting part of that (que spooky music) is that we dont know what sort of people our experiences will make us ultimately and therefore we cannot possibly know who these people are that we want until the experiences we've had make us open to the people we become attractive to... umm

Not necessarily. We can decide to work on ourselves, to become more self aware, and to table the partner hunting process until we feel better about ourselves. You can do this work in the absence of a partner but with professional help. Thus getting it done in two years instead of needing twenty to have enough experience to help teach you. Plus you miss having the twenty years of wrong experiences make you bitter.

And yeah, I know that sentence was really convoluted!

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 6:09:32 AM

InTonguesslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

Yes, it is our responsibility to become the sort of people that the people we want to be with will want to be with.

now try saying that really quickly five times!!!

of course the really interesting part of that (que spooky music) is that we dont know what sort of people our experiences will make us ultimately and therefore we cannot possibly know who these people are that we want until the experiences we've had make us open to the people we become attractive to... umm

Not necessarily. We can decide to work on ourselves, to become more self aware, and to table the partner hunting process until we feel better about ourselves. You can do this work in the absence of a partner but with professional help. Thus getting it done in two years instead of needing twenty to have enough experience to help teach you. Plus you miss having the twenty years of wrong experiences make you bitter.

And yeah, I know that sentence was really convoluted!

i know what youre saying and up to a point i would agree. but, ... through the process of becoming me, some of it was hard, some of it was very hard, some of it was hell some of it was fabulous, all of it to some degree or another was hit and miss, alot of laughs alot of tears and ive seen alot of the world through pretty cockeyed vision. ive put myself in some testing places and ive met some really amazing people - i wouldnt have had that life if id been to a shrink - the shrink might have ironed out the kinks that make me kinky through going through my childhood and my perception of the world, my spirituality would be entirely different now. i wouldnt be me through my own making.

people become people through going through life and living it, not sitting on some couch living their life through the books and teachings of freud, yung and whomesoever else.

people temper their lives through so many things that give them colour and experience - its what makes them individuals.

i agree help sometimes is needed, i needed help with my narcisstic mother - that helped to clear a problem that otherwisse might still be holding me back - so yes it has its place. but with each big cross roads, at some point you do need to just go with it - let life take you where it will.

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 6:39:00 AM

sirguym

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave
Yes, it is our responsibility to become the sort of people that the people we want to be with will want to be with.

That is very true. So many on these sites are so desperate for sex or just human contact that they'll lower themselves to be sluts, (of either or trans gender), not realising that most people only want a slut when they desire quick no-frills sex: and are embarrassed by them any other time.

If you can truly imagine the kind of person you want to be with, then imagine the kind of person they'll want to spend time with, and work towards becoming that person, so long as you're going up, not coming down, even if you don't find Mr or Mrs Right, you'll generally improve yourself.

But if you throw away your self-respect, reduce yourself to the lowest common denominator, it's a huge waste of your potential, whatever it is!

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 6:49:37 AM

thetammyjo

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I think it's more a matter of working on yourself first and being open to a relationship. It is not a matter passivity but of activeness focused on the self first and another second. It is a matter of self-awareness often born of experiences, both unpleasant and pleasant, and the ability to grow with each.

The most important relationship any of us will ever have is never with another person but with ourselves. If we aren't at a place where we can put in the time and energy to a relationship it won't work. Period.

This is similar to the relationship of teacher and student. Both must be ready for their roles and committed to the work required. If one is not, there can be no learning and not teaching.

Just my immediate thoughts.

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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 7:01:45 AM

KnightofMists

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I would say that the teacher goes where a pupil would go and a pupil would go where a teacher would go.... which generally is a school. It's that why many singles come to a site like Collarme?

However, the physical location or state is one thing... what about emotional and mental state? Beside going to that physical location.. I believe that both Master and slave and anyone for that matter... needs to get to that mental and emotional state that is appropriate for the type of relationship they are looking for. Many get to the pond where the fish are plenty... but it doesn't do you much good if you have the wrong bait on the hook.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 20

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