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RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 4:10:57 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

So look I've got to grips with a very simple and yet complex thing... when the slave is ready the right Master appears. Is this a philosophy you share?

I'm not really sure how I feel about that. Sometimes I believe in fate; other times I don't.

quote:

Where are you at right now in feeling it is your responsibility...the dynamic you have?
Where are you at in believing it is because of the Other person that you feel the way you do?

I've come a long way within learning myself in a D/s relationship. I started out, perhaps like others, thinking it was all the D's responsibility. He was the one doing all the work; he shouldered all the responsibility; I was 'merely' submitting. Turns out, that's not how I feel about it now. As I enter a new relationship, I feel a responsibility towards it, to nurture it and care for it as equally as he will. Yes, this thought is guided somewhat by the new D, however, it was something that has been growing in me over time also - the belief that though I'm submissive, I'm also a 50% partner. Not passively submitting ... but actively engaged and submitting. I know it sounds like 'duh' to many, but for me it was a bit of a journey to get to this point.

quote:

When you were truly ready did the perfect Other come into your life?

Don't know yet. lol I hesitate to count on perfection. But at times, it's felt that way.

quote:

What did they teach you?

Bits and pieces thus far. I do feel he is the right man for me at this time. His background, experiences and intellect match pretty much where I am - I don't think if I'd met him a year or two ago I'd be ready - and I don't mean anything physical. But now if a D approached me and it was basically a 'I want you to kneel and suck whenver I tell you to' kind of relationship he proposed ... I'd know instantly it wasn't for me. I need depth, emotion and to be truly engaged and connected intellectually. Seduced and teased and drawn in .. not merely ordered about. That's what makes me find him just irresistible. And how he gets what he wants too. win/win .. go figure.

Thanks for making me think about this ... good stuff.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 41

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 5:09:00 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryNastyDom
Master will appear when the student is ready, but Master has to know where the student is.

Sound bite.

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to VeryNastyDom)

Post #: 42

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 7:08:22 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

Autonomous, aware and objective self-therapy

For me, it's a work in progress, but something I am definitely striving toward.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 43

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 2/28/2009 9:35:24 PM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Autonomous, aware and objective self-therapy

For me, it's a work in progress, but something I am definitely striving toward.

For me, I don't think I'll ever reach the "destination". It is always a work in progress.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 44

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 6:53:25 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Autonomous, aware and objective self-therapy

For me, it's a work in progress, but something I am definitely striving toward.

For me, I don't think I'll ever reach the "destination". It is always a work in progress.

I agree that readiness is not a 'state'. I think that readiness is a process. Preparedness is a good word but a process nevertheless. And as for insight about it and self-therapy this is very very very hard. And self-therapy is very very difficult. It's all very well if what we each of us strive for is self improvement.. a kind of masturbatory love of the self. I really do feel that society as a whole has a kind of consciousness which is processing itself towards greater and greater degrees of narcissism.
Difficult to explain it really.
But relationship is not just about self... there's another's insight to take account of. If it's a poly set up there's more than two's insight and evaluation to take account of.
I am always constantly amazed at the chasm between the insights of submissives and dominants of either gender.
Take the same basic relationship and across the whip it can look like two entirely different universes. One woman's preparedness looking like one man's fear of commitment.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 45

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 8:43:14 AM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I have one philosophy. There is no such thing as perfection.
I am not perfect. I will never be perfectly ready. Any man I choose to enter my life is not chosen for his perfection. I refuse to define him by using the same harsh yardstick I use to place value on myself. No one deserves that. Heck.. I wish I didn't do it to me, but it seems to be inevidible now.
Do I believe there is a "One"? No. I have been in love with 2 men in my life, and I still love each of them. If there was a second, then I have to think there might also be a third, a fourth, ect. Regardless of how many.. I am still in the mix. Imperfect.

A woman who chooses me who know that they are also imperfect... and they are ok as they are. It is when one thinks they are above another that things become unbalanced, at least in my view. And that goes the other way as well..

Kyst

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 46

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 12:13:00 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I have one philosophy. There is no such thing as perfection.
I am not perfect. I will never be perfectly ready. Any man I choose to enter my life is not chosen for his perfection. I refuse to define him by using the same harsh yardstick I use to place value on myself. No one deserves that. Heck.. I wish I didn't do it to me, but it seems to be inevidible now.
Do I believe there is a "One"? No. I have been in love with 2 men in my life, and I still love each of them. If there was a second, then I have to think there might also be a third, a fourth, ect. Regardless of how many.. I am still in the mix. Imperfect.

A woman who chooses me who know that they are also imperfect... and they are ok as they are. It is when one thinks they are above another that things become unbalanced, at least in my view. And that goes the other way as well..

Kyst

Dear Missokyst
I avsolutely love the way you have expressed this. It has made me think about the meaning of perfection. But more so it has made me think about where I got the concept of perfection from in the first place. And I do have an instinct for perfection, which is a pity, but more of that later.
I remember over hearing conversations as a child. Amongst the women. Between women. Between my mother and my grandmother and the 'elders'... my grandmother's friends. Wisdom lay in their hands... those secret conversations that mothers and daughters have behind their husbands' backs. Grandma had healing in her hands. She layed corpses out in the best room for neighbours to pay their last respects. She bought fish back to life. And fallen birds. And never thought twice about giving teachers what for.. a little wiry wire of a woman.
But to hear her talk about the men. She took no victims. She took no quarter. And she had defended herself more than once in the scullery where she gutted fish, chopped eela and beheaded chickens. Look no-man stood with his back to my Grand mother when she had a knife in her hand.
There was a tension. I knew from the sad eyes of my mother that the perfect man did exist... but not in the form of daddy. She ran a racket with an affair all her life.. a man she couldn't have because he was married to someone else.. but he met her in secret down the pub and made ger eyes sparkle although she would have to get tanked up to go meet him. Granny on the other hand knew how pathetic men really were, how Grandad had cheated out in Africa. How she would out live him. If He thinks he can...and so on. She left Grandad for many years in the years when it was heavilt stigmatised to do so.
Oh I knew how men should have been but simply never were perfect despite the 1950's roles that my house upheld.
BUT even though I know men ain't perfect in the real world.. well it doesn't stop me wanting one in the world of bdsm roles and play. I do make internal effort in other words NOT to do what I learned from Mom and Gran and I do stay as much as possible from longing for men to be different. That's why I have a problem with submission in men. I do.
So I have reconciled reaity by feeling that perfection exists in a spiritual sense only.. something to be striven for. I wish it didn't dog me the search for it. Maybe my grandmother knew far more than I over heard as a child.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 47

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 12:34:00 PM

junecleaver

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Joined: 4/6/2005
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It's not a philosophy I share. Honestly, I don't feel the need to complicate my relationships with superfluous ideology or what I mean is that sometimes when we look at a situation so closely so ferociously...we lose perspective. If you have problems that need to be worked through, do you really need lose focus or waste energy pondering how you might meet your next Master?

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 48

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 2:25:49 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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I have to agree with junecleaver and several other people - if you feel you need to work on yourself that much, you're probably not ready to be in a relationship. You can't know exactly what he'll want from you, so I don't understand how you can adequately "prepare" yourself! I don't view reaching out to other people as unsubmissive, and I think that most Dominants are flattered by the attention. Primarily guys have been the ones to initiate contact with me, but in a couple of cases, someone had a lot of interests or philosophical viewpoints that I liked, so I wrote to them first. Anyway, if your current approach is working for you, great, but it seems like of backassward to complain that it's not working, but that you want to sit around and do nothing to get what you want!

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 49

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 2:25:57 PM

oceanwynds

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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I do not have any answers for your post, OP. I do know in my life the teachers have come during the times that I was ready for them, or vice versa ready for me. I believe all teach and learn. I know for me it is more of my spiritual path that I observe and walk, verses love etc.

blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 50

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 2:40:50 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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Just when the slave is ready...She meets Mr. Wonderful. He has a nice smile is well spoken and handsome. She is thrilled and thinks this relationship might last a lifetime. Theodore Bundy knows she will not live to see tomorrow.

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(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 51

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 2:49:34 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Just when the slave is ready...She meets Mr. Wonderful. He has a nice smile is well spoken and handsome. She is thrilled and thinks this relationship might last a lifetime. Theodore Bundy knows she will not live to see tomorrow.

Theodore Bundy has no Brit equivalent.
asl please?

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 52

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 2:52:02 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

asl? He's dead. Notoriously dead. Perhaps buried with his fake cast.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 53

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/1/2009 11:39:48 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

There's a well known Zen saying: when the student is ready the teacher will come...

For all those dismissing it, just picture all the teachers you have missed out on and the teacher that you are.

It's not about a single teacher. It's about a person being aware that everyone they meet, pass in the street or read about is a teacher. Just so many people get lazy and ignorant and miss the lessons. You don't just learn from people you want to learn from.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 54

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/2/2009 12:05:30 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

There's a well known Zen saying: when the student is ready the teacher will come...

For all those dismissing it, just picture all the teachers you have missed out on and the teacher that you are.

It's not about a single teacher. It's about a person being aware that everyone they meet, pass in the street or read about is a teacher. Just so many people get lazy and ignorant and miss the lessons. You don't just learn from people you want to learn from.

the.dark.

Dear D and D
Have mailed... hope you got it.
Went to see Slumdog Millionaire... now that's a life's work. A magnificent collaboration. A life changing film. Utterly spellbinding on every level.
Yes it's possible to learn from strangers. Even from fiction.
Prin x

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 55

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/2/2009 9:47:33 AM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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Perfection, imo, is about as null a concept as normalcy.
I care far more about synergy and joy with love as a hopeful outgrowth.
Davan

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 56

RE: When slave is ready the master will come - 3/2/2009 10:23:50 AM

SirJ40

Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline

I take this more as "when I'm finally sure of what I'm looking for, then the search can be successful", and in that sense, I agree.
A person needs to know what they want before they can find it. Perhaps the "perfection" thing might be an extreme evaluation, but the "person most suited" might be a good way to express it.
I have certainly found in My life that until I clearly and concisely defined for MYSELF what I was looking for, I could not look for it. I've done My share of aimlessly casting about too... but once I made a decision, or came to the realization of what I was truly looking for, it seemed to fall into place much more easily.
Either way.. unless you search for something specific, you're just "trying things on".. and some of those things won't fit. But some will.. .

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 57

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