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RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 12:26:53 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I'm one who openly has a "Bunkering Up Mentality" In the past I certainly have been hurt and turned to the only thing I knew was safe, my mercenary crew and a new contract. At least I knew who and where my enemies were and could deal with them accordingly (mostly by termination). I have created a secure metaphoric bunker about bruin cottage after my Neets was hurt badly by several people including one of her sisters. Keeping the metaphor going, if strangers approach the house and especially if they are in the 17 to 30 year old age group and are males, I will gave them in the cross hairs of my sniper rifle before the reach the gate. Realistically, I just slip a lovely machined piece of metal with a fresh magazine in it in the rear waist-band of my strides so id all is cool none need know it is there. No longer do I open my heart and arms to people until I know them well enough to relax in their company that much.... History helps create instinct and I do not ever go against it .

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to scottishdove)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 12:51:02 AM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottishdove

he is not a perfect person and was up front about that, and i decided to take the risk and trust. if i was wrong, i will just have to learn from that. i am thinking already that this is my last stab at D/s. if the most perfect Master i have found still doesn't work out, i think it is time to go back to Vanilla.


But, scottishdove, how does 'going vanilla' solve this issue for you?  Is it somehow harder for you in a D/s relationship to make the leap of faith to trust?  I have always believed at the heart a D/s relationship, for me, is just that ... a relationship, based on trust and faith and caring, with the added twist of D/s and BDSM. 



I agree. Even in 'vanilla' relationships you have to trust and open yourself up. Being vulnerable is not an easy place to be. Expectations set us up for disappointment. Last year, I experienced something similar to what you are going through. I had been in contact with a Domme who asked me not to communicate with her for a period of time. It was a 'time out'. I went though a gamut of emotions.

What I learned is that if I am not willing to open my heart up and trust, if I am not willing to let my heart break, then I shall forever remain a prisoner of my fear. And now, some truly wonderful people are coming into my life.

scottishdove, I am glad you will not make any hasty decisions. And, may I add that I do not see you as being a drama queen. I see you as being a woman who has opened up her heart and allowed herself to trust, and is now feeling quite vulnerable. I see a woman who took a risk to share some very vulnerable feelings.

When I was in NYC last year, I went to the Metropolitan Museum and took the tour. I had to write down the following quote from the docent because it had such a profound impact upon me, "What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, the rest of us call a butterfly."

_____________________________


“Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the Universal Human Experience, and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet!” -French and Saunders

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 1:10:00 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Thing to always remember that as much as we take on, we give out.  In other words, from the past relationship which we build walls from and have scars from, so does the other person(s) in that relationship.
Some people get so wrapped up in their own take aways, they forget that they cause others damage and walls themselves.
 
Mistakes happen and fuck ups occur - instead of issuing blame, consciously avoiding and all those what ifs, mark them as lessons we learn from.  If you don't, you just end up repeating the same lessons until you understand that you are a student with the ability of getting a pass if you make the choice to buckle down.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 2:29:07 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		my simple answer is trust and believe in your partner.Without it,you may as well lock yourself inside and never come out for air.while i also believe you risk being hurt falling in love..there are much more positives to be gained than to look upon whether or not your guts are going to be kicked out.

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 3:12:32 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		When i lost my late husband the pain was so overwhelming i decided to build a wall to protect myself from ever feeling that way again. The problem was...the loneliness behind that wall was almost as bad as the pain of loss. It took more courage than i thought i had to break it down, and was a slow process, but worthwhile.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 4:10:35 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
So, here goes the query: 
To someone with a fear of being hurt, who has been hurt in previous relationships and still has very raw wounds (After over a year since the most recent one occurred), what advice would you offer for their being able to move forward? 
How do you avoid sabotaging relationships due to said fear?  How do you invest?  Any other thoughts that you believe would be helpful are much appreciated. 
Many thanks!  :> 
Davan


I try to avoid it by saying exactly what I'm fearful of. When you're the type of person that screws tightly into a ball when you're hurt, that isn't terribly easy.

Some people are talkers and need to talk about their scary bits, worries, concerns and pain. I'm not one of them. I can talk quite eloquently about these things when the worst pain has passed but not at the time.

When it comes to investing , I don't think I do really. I do what I'm comfortable doing and it doesn't feel like *investing* BECAUSE of that. I certainly don't push myself; it's not a route march.

As far as I'm concerned, I can't halt the process of caring about someone but it usually takes place without me being terribly aware. Because I know myself rather well, I know that the fact that I DO care has been a pretty long, slow burn with enough indication that it's alright.

I'm quite an island and if I'm hanging in with someone it's because they make it worth all the sea-sickness.

agirl



(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 5:11:45 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		No doubt about it, life sucks, but it beats the alternative. I am firm believer that My highs are more appreciated because I've had the lows. Does it hurt, you bet, do I crawl in to hole and give up? No. For Me to build walls, excludes Me from the experience of life--can't go there.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 6:47:55 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

No doubt about it, life sucks, but it beats the alternative. I am firm believer that My highs are more appreciated because I've had the lows. Does it hurt, you bet, do I crawl in to hole and give up? No. For Me to build walls, excludes Me from the experience of life--can't go there.


I think *bits* of life suck , but frankly, so do bits of everything.

I absolutely DO crawl into a hole and give-up for a while. I'm glad I have a hole to crawl into. I've never seen it as a bad thing to spend a bit of time putting a bit of padding over my woundy-bits. It makes sense to me.

Most people slide somewhere, lick their wounds and live to *fight* another day.

Some people see it as building walls, I see it as administering a bit of tlc.

agirl

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 6:59:23 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I absolutely DO crawl into a hole and give-up for a while. I'm glad I have a hole to crawl into. I've never seen it as a bad thing to spend a bit of time putting a bit of padding over my woundy-bits. It makes sense to me.

Most people slide somewhere, lick their wounds and live to *fight* another day.

Some people see it as building walls, I see it as administering a bit of tlc.


there is nothing wrong with isolating. In fact, i think it is a valuable, needed tool for emotional healing. But with some it is much more serious than crawling into a hole. It is building a tower, brick by brick, and shutting themselves down emotionally.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 7:27:08 AM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		Relationships are such a roller coaster...seems the faster you ride, the quicker that ride ends....but boy what a thrill,  others disappoint and leave you wanting more....but the line to wait is too long, so you spot another ride with a shorter line because you dont want to wait it out.  To me,  a wall of fear of being hurt is like riding that roller coaster with the emergency break on....you simply dont go anywhere.  
Positive energy is what attracts anything.  If you go into a relationship fearing being hurt,,,,, chances are you will be....you asked for it.  If you go into a relationship with positive and open approach,  the chances of it turning out well are greater, and then, if it doesnt, then you have enough self esteem to move on .....you may look at your scar and remember what caused it,  but ,  then, it is healed.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 8:53:57 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Here is the the key for me. Being happy alone. Not silly giddy "oh I am so happy" but a deep joy deep inside. Being okay with being by yourself.

If you feel you NEED to be in a relationship to be whole, then you are already setting yourself up for failure and hurt.

Next, accept the vulnerability and the hurt that goes with it. It isn't going to kill you! Yes it hurts to get shit on, you cry, put some bandaides on the scrapes, figure out what you needed to learn from it, then get over it! It wasn't, and won't be, the end of the world. It only felt that way for a bit.

Accept that you can love without being loved in return. Give it anyway. It's not like you have a limited supply. Protect your own inner joy while giving love. You don't have to give your sanity to give love. Love doesn't mean mushy gooey relationship stuff every time.

Keep living your life while staying open to possibilities. Just be, instead of building glass castles. Live in the moments instead of what may, or may not, happen in the future.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 8:55:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

When i lost my late husband the pain was so overwhelming i decided to build a wall to protect myself from ever feeling that way again. The problem was...the loneliness behind that wall was almost as bad as the pain of loss. It took more courage than i thought i had to break it down, and was a slow process, but worthwhile.


Holly, I was unaware.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 9:17:27 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, all----
Many much appreciated replies since I wandered away from the computer to go to sleep last evening. 
Thank you all.  I look forward to reading more. 
Holly, I am sorry that you lost your husband, words are really inadequate to convey.  I feel joy that you have opened up again and are living your life. 
I think that there are so many good points that have been raised.  A couple that stood out to me are that sometimes one is building towers and shutting down emotionally rather than just building walls, that with the hand and heart of a trusted other it is often so very helpful and productive, plus that some see the forward momentum as developmental. 
Though I am not posing these queries about my own issues, the matter is close enough to be tweaking the hell out of my own senses of vulnerability.  I believe I have a handle on that, though my discomfort is much.  I do not want the thread to become about my discomforts, though.  Regardless of the outcome from my angle (Though, of course, I have preferences...but, as my SIG line says, waiting is), I want to be able to share the thoughts and feelings and suggestions contained here-in with the intent to help another to find their joy, to be themselves truly and unabashedly, and to shine in the brightness and beauty that is uniquely their own.  :>
  Davan


_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 9:19:01 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
Davan,
Feeling is what helps us to grow. To decide that it is not worth getting hurt again is to remain stagnant. The Sins of the Past, others, and ours are best left in the past holding on to them does nothing but encumber you.

I have always held the idea that whatever happens, happens for a reason. At times I feel we need to be hurt to learn how to deal with hurt. I believe that when we focus only on the problem that the problem gets bigger. By Focusing only on that which is Bad and Negative we in a way help to feed that negativity. I have yet to meet a woman who had not been hurt in a relationship. I have, however, found women who are willing to move on and start something new with the hope of something different.

Those who hurt you are in your past, to give them power over your present is to give power to something that no longer exists. The Memories will be with you always but you do not have to keep ripping open the wounds to show them to the next partner so they will understand your pain. No one needs to understand your pain but you, when you learn to let it go you open yourself up to others who are willing to show you a new future.

People, You WILL be hurt again, It will be different than the last time because hopefully it will be with someone new. Hopefully you will have learned new things from the last time and so when it happens again you will now see more clearly what you can do next time to keep that particular things from happening again. Folks, no one can tell the future and the person you are with today can wake up tomorrow and just move in a different direction than you. You can be angry with them, you and hold it against them, but if you do not learn to move on then they will have that power over you forever.

Being hurt sucks and living with it sucks even more, But if you can accept what has happened to you and chock it up to experience and move on you will finally learn to take responsibility for your life and do things on your terms.

BDSM or not, you are responsible for your yourself for the situations you get involved in, if you expect the whole world to pay for someone elses mistakes then you are forever being unfair to the next person who comes along.

The Universe will put Many things in your way, it is your job to traverse them and find meaning in them.


Steel


_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 9:30:15 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, Steel, and thank you for your reply. 
I agree that allowing the past to dictate one's future is giving something that ought not have it more power.  I also know that none of us walk unencumbered by our past.  I think that how we choose to handle that baggage or those learnings is key. 
Choosing to walk in the light rather than in darkness and all that stuff, though, imo, embracing that the darkness exists, accessing it when it is needed, not denying parts of ourselves is extremely important. 
You are often very good at speaking emotionally as well as cognitively.  Care to take a stab at the emotional process you believe to be valid in moving through such potential hold-backs? 
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 3/2/2009 9:37:37 AM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 9:53:52 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Sure,

Where as the Emotional Process will be different for everyone I can only offer my own experince on this.

**Linda** (Not her real name changed for the purpose of this thread) was my Favorite Mistake. From the ages of 12 to 18 she was my Everything. She cheated on my 7 times, always with the same 2 guys and at one point she moved one of them in with us after we decided to break up but keep living in the same Apartment. Linda was many of my firsts from Serious Kiss to Other things that need not be mentioned.

Every time she left me I would do the same old thing. I would Cry, I would Carve her name into things (Okay a little creepy I admit) and I would play the Cure all hours of the night in hopes that she would stop being a crazy evil bitch and come back to me.

The years always brough Linda Back to me, Over and Over through much of my addiction and on. But this isn't about that. This is about getting over Linda.

I had to stop measuring My life by those I shared it with. I stayed single for quite some time (Well for me anyway.... I have never done Alone Very well) And in that time I discovered a few things about myself.

  1. I didn't really know myself that well, I knew what I wanted in another person but I didn't really know what I had to offer them, I mean I was always becoming someone else just to make THEM happy so I never got to be ME.
  2. I learned that I based all my relationships off of a Ridiculasly Impossible Standard, Not necessarily a High one just that I felt it had to work in such a specific way that anything else was failure when in reality it was just somthing that required Patience
  3. That I didn't have much value in myself. I thought I was a pretty good guy to be around but I didn't think I was WORTH many peoples time and when I did think I was worth their time I near demanded it as if they were required somehow to give it to me.
  4. I learned that I did not know how to be Friends with someone that I was in a relationship with. I was a Lover and rarely a friend, I didn't trust them with what was bothering me and always wanted to simply Fix what was wrong with them rather than understanding what it was that I felt was wrong.

Over time I have learned this about the healing emotional process.

  1. Give yourself a set period of morning for the lost relationship be it a month or a year and stay away from the dating scene.
  2. Forgive the other person no matter their sin because to hold onto it is toxic
  3. You do not have to be friends but hating someone who doesn't care is futile
  4. Come to terms with the end of the relationship and address your OWN FAULTS ONLY!
  5. Accpet that what happened to you was done by an Individual not a Gender (One guy, not ALL guys did this to you)

And fainally when you are ready to start dating again be fair and not jump to conclusions. When someone feels accused of something often times they will end up doing it because if they are going to be something in your eyes they might as well actually be it. I know MANY guys who will admit to having cheated because of how often they were acussed of it and were innocent that if they are going to be threated like that they ought to have gotten to commit the crime in the first place.

If you are looking for someting more specific than this please ask. I have a way of getting carried away on something that isn't quite what was being asked for.

Take Care

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 10:18:10 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Howdy, Steel----
Thank you again for taking the time to reply to my query. 
I am not looking for a 'magic answer', so I can not say that I'm looking for anything in particular and, thus, can't ask you something more specific.  In understanding my own feelings, thoughts, and approaches (Though, even given the amount of time I spend rattling around in my skull, sometimes a new angle arises, a new chance for understanding and holism of contemplation), I know that that is but one experience, one approach.  I have shared that and thought that the modes others use may be helpful, have a decisive or productive ring.  Everyone learns and processes in different ways and hearing that from others here is what I am asking for. 
Gotta say the comment about cheating strikes me as guys making excuses, lol! 
Thank you for elucidating further; some great points to contemplate.  :>
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 11:08:38 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

To someone with a fear of being hurt, who has been hurt in previous relationships and still has very raw wounds (After over a year since the most recent one occurred), what advice would you offer for their being able to move forward? 
How do you avoid sabotaging relationships due to said fear?  How do you invest?  Any other thoughts that you believe would be helpful are much appreciated. 
Many thanks!  :> 
Davan


There are things I recognize about myself. 

First, that I isolate.  I am more than happy to be alone with myself, guess that's because I'm such good company   This works, until I start getting lonely, which does happen.  Eventually, I realize I am needing to connect with someone.

Second, is that I am extremely good at early onset sabotage.  I'm rather hard on people, in the first stages of getting to know them.   Usually, those who get close to me, are those who have simply been present in my life in a non-threatening sort of way, and I grew to trust them before viewing them in a personal relationship light. 

No matter how one justifies it, if you are adept at finding reasons to shut people out and down, it is sabotage.

Third, is when I do find myself realizing that I trust and like someone, and begin to view them as someone I desire a relationship with - I demand of myself that I am open and transparent and giving.  I don't see the relationship in a pass or fail manner at this point, because the relationship has already succeeded.  I have someone I trust in my life.  If that trust builds into a relationship that works for us both - yay me!  

As you might imagine, I suck at the dating scene, because of this. 

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 11:44:37 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Here is the the key for me. Being happy alone. Not silly giddy "oh I am so happy" but a deep joy deep inside. Being okay with being by yourself.

If you feel you NEED to be in a relationship to be whole, then you are already setting yourself up for failure and hurt.

Next, accept the vulnerability and the hurt that goes with it. It isn't going to kill you! Yes it hurts to get shit on, you cry, put some bandaides on the scrapes, figure out what you needed to learn from it, then get over it! It wasn't, and won't be, the end of the world. It only felt that way for a bit.

Accept that you can love without being loved in return. Give it anyway. It's not like you have a limited supply. Protect your own inner joy while giving love. You don't have to give your sanity to give love. Love doesn't mean mushy gooey relationship stuff every time.

Keep living your life while staying open to possibilities. Just be, instead of building glass castles. Live in the moments instead of what may, or may not, happen in the future.



LaT, I just lubs you. As usual, you nailed it.  Too bad you're a dyke. 

< Message edited by cjan -- 3/2/2009 12:02:59 PM >

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt - 3/2/2009 12:42:27 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

There are things I recognize about myself. 

First, that I isolate.  I am more than happy to be alone with myself, guess that's because I'm such good company   This works, until I start getting lonely, which does happen.  Eventually, I realize I am needing to connect with someone.

Second, is that I am extremely good at early onset sabotage.  I'm rather hard on people, in the first stages of getting to know them.   Usually, those who get close to me, are those who have simply been present in my life in a non-threatening sort of way, and I grew to trust them before viewing them in a personal relationship light. 

No matter how one justifies it, if you are adept at finding reasons to shut people out and down, it is sabotage.

Third, is when I do find myself realizing that I trust and like someone, and begin to view them as someone I desire a relationship with - I demand of myself that I am open and transparent and giving.  I don't see the relationship in a pass or fail manner at this point, because the relationship has already succeeded.  I have someone I trust in my life.  If that trust builds into a relationship that works for us both - yay me!  

As you might imagine, I suck at the dating scene, because of this. 


Hi, WinsomeDefiance----
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your process of working on and through such things.  What you said resonates really strongly and I see the power of the choice to trust and to move forward.  :>
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 40
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