quote:

ORIGINAL: Inglevine

I find that I often feel rather different than most Dominant women, in that I very much prefer "bratty" subs. I definitely want to be in control and for him to ultimately do what I say, but the fight and struggle is half the fun. I like when subs are cheeky or when they try and disobey. It gives me a reason to punish them. ;) And I like to know that my sub has a will and desires of his own. I have no interest in playing with someone who, to me, feels like a robot I can control by pushing buttons. I need to feel that there's a real person there.

Any other Dommes feel this way?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Inglevine
I just find that rather too often for my own tastes I'll ask a sub, "What do you like?" and he'll respond with, "Whatever you like, Mistress." Nothing is guaranteed to make my interest wan like that. He's got to have his own mind and preference.

And I'm not so into servitude. It's all about the interaction and emotion for me. And, I think, total compliance detracts from the emotion of a scene while a bit of struggle adds to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subinchico
2. I had no idea saying, “its up to you goddess”, be a turn off, but it makes sense!

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ORIGINAL: sodsta

This may be cheating somewhat, since I know you and we've just spent a couple of hours discussing this very thing, but I think the main difference here between you and a lot of the other women commenting is that you are more of a sexual dominant than a "lifestyle" dominant, and what you are referring to as "fight" is really more "resistance play during a scene".

Scenario 1: You have a sub tied up securely and you start to whip him. Instead of him taking the whipping like a "good boy", you'd prefer he struggle and try to escape and growl and swear and get angry and just generally try to resist?

Scenario 2: You tell a sub to do a task and he smirks and says "make me", and that gives you reason to punish him, which is what you enjoy. And that's the important thing here. YOU enjoy it, and you WANT him to react that way, so you are not being manipulated. There's no real power struggle going on and he's not fighting your Dominance because it's what YOU want.

You've said to me before that you would describe yourself as a Reaction Top with Domme-ish qualities, rather than "A Domme", which is perfectly fine. Labels can be bothersome, sometimes, but they can also be handy little things. :)

You want a sub or bottom to push your emotional and sadistic buttons (in this case, by being cocky or cheeky or  "bratty") in the same way you want to be able to push his emotional and masochistic ones. There's nothing wrong with that - in fact, as you obviously know by now, I think it's pretty hot. ;)

Enjoy it. :D

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I don't like resistance for the sake of resistance, or bad behavior just because it's attention-seeking.
I like authentic vulnerability, though. Not mindless submission.  I like difficult surrender, and seeing that sort of conflict that comes from submitting to things that are not necessarily enjoyable, but he does it for me and for my pleasure.  On some levels I can enjoy very strict, almost brave obedience, but not if it is robotic, more if it's dutiful and proud.  I like a wide variety of "styles" of submission but have my moods where I crave one thing over another - but I never like stoic, boring, robotic surrender, and I never like deliberate and obnoxious misbehaving for attention. 
Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: subinchico
Fascinating thread of information.
2. I had no idea saying, “its up to you goddess”, be a turn off, but it makes sense!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Inglevine

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And I like to know that my sub has a will and desires of his own. I have no interest in playing with someone who, to me, feels like a robot I can control by pushing buttons. I need to feel that there's a real person there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DVsFox

My Owner loves when I fight back and struggle during play.  She likes proving her physical dominance over me.  She loves for me to have my own thoughts and opinions outside of it.  However, she also expects that I remain respectful and obedient...just not mindlessly.  The dynamic is always firmly in place.

DV's Fox

I have a very similar dynamic with Mistress.  I'm a very feisty, opinionated subby who is quite the smart-ass brat at times.  It doesn't matter if it's during regular vanilla time or during playtime.  In a vanilla setting, I love to tease her very much like the young boy in school who'll pull the pigtails of a cute girl he likes and run away laughing, or by throwing mud at her to aggrivate her to the point she'll chase me down to hit me. 

During playtime, she knows that I'm much stronger than her and it's fun to "benchpress" her when she climbs on top of me or do an MMA defense posture so she can't do anything to me (except tickling, but that's against the rules...lol), but since she knows I have two bad shoulders, she'll shift her position a little and manage to minimize my physical strength over her without hurting my shoulders.  It's not all about strength...it's leverage.    Once I'm pinned under her after a good fight, she usually gets aggressive and clinches her hand around my throat and gives me "THE LOOK" that makes me melt and submit to her. 

No matter how playful and feisty I may be or get, I still remember my place.  There is definitely a line between being playful and being disrespectful.  I'm blessed to be owned by a domme I can be my true self with.  She loves the fact that while I'm extremely obedient to her and revel in her dominance over me, I'm not a mindless subby that's so submissive that he can't function on his own or can't get out of his own way.  She loves the fact that I not only have my own opinions and views, but also loves the fact that I have the brains and balls to express them.  She also digs the fact that she can overpower someone with just a look who is strong enough physically to drive her through a wall.