RE: Forums to lose a regular?

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DeviantlyD -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 10:03:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub I am aware you gave lip service to the fact that it isn't easy. Calling people in denial because they aren't ready yet doesn't do much to show that you realize it. People lose and gain weight for lots of reasons. Expecting everyone to do and think the way you do is just plain silly. For some people, it's more than health and it goes beyond denial. They know exactly what they are doing and they just don't care. When they do try to change, they are vunerable. Those first few pounds feel like nothing and it doesn't show much. So when they go out and they are still mocked, why should they bother? Obviously no one is going to keep their nose of their business till they look like supermodels. I'm glad you changed your life. But I highly doubt that you've dealt with the emotional issues that severely overweight people have because it goes so much farther than reality and logic. Weight Watchers, for example, has not helped so many people lose so much weight because they feel the need to smack people upside the head with reality and tell them that they are in denial. Support and understanding does amazing things. You may doubt all you wish. You are making some very invalid assumptions based on only a few of my words. I still maintain that anyone who is obese and beyond is not facing the full reality of the situation. Your cite a couple of examples yourself. When you said there are people who know exactly what they are doing and don't care - that is definitely someone in denial. It's akin to saying they are agreeable to a slow suicide - because being obese and not caring is just that. You also mentioned how people will easily become discouraged at not seeing significant results in the short term. This typifies the "instant gratification" culture we live in and isn't realistic. I will concede that many people likely aren't even aware of how dangerous being obese and morbidly obese can truly be. Perhaps if they did, it would be the reality check they need, though I expect a large number would still be in the "that won't happen to me" category.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:12:36 AM)
I am beyond Portly. I know the risk. I also have this monkey who lives in the back of my head who tells me that if I am hungry I should eat. As I get larger the Monkey gets louder. I work out and I diet and I feel miserable, I work so hard and seem to get no where and when I do lose some weight and I get all the "Good for you"'s the come as a precursor to "Keep Going you got a long way to go" What is sad is that most people that have issue with those who are morbidly obese really do not understand the mental aspect, They don't get what our own heads do to us, how easy it is to give up and how hard it is to keep at something that in most cases makes you feel worse about yourself. I have always bee large and for the most part I have always WANTED to be Large, I never wanted to be the skinny guy I like being big, lately I am larger than I want to be and the self esteem isn't enough to get me all the way, I know what I want to do but that monkey in the back of my head is rather hard to ignore at times. I do not blame anyone but myself for my current size, but no one should be ridiculed for who they are, and just because someone feels they can help doesn't mean it is wanted or warrented. The point I made in commenting on this thread is that no one should be treated as sub-human because of who they are. They are who they are and that is THEIR lot to deal with, threads like these only help to make someone feel worse about themselves and with all the comments of wanting them to be healhier I ask how threads like this would ever make someone want to do anything other than hate themselves more because of how easily others can cast them out socially because of what they look like. Steel

FullCircle -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:25:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah What is sad is that most people that have issue with those who are morbidly obese really do not understand the mental aspect, They don't get what our own heads do to us, how easy it is to give up and how hard it is to keep at something that in most cases makes you feel worse about yourself. There is nothing unique to this addiction than to any other such as smoking or drinking, I think people have a good idea as to how human addiction works and how it makes them feel. Smokers know they could be killing themselves, they see the gruesome adverts and the warnings on packets but they either have the 'it won't happen to me' attitude (a human mechanism for dealing with the fear) or they are genuinely petrified by the prospect it could happen to them. It's a strong addiction, even the threat of death not enough to break it, and people need help from others to beat it, asking for help for anything isn't easy though.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:31:27 AM)
As a recovering addict I can say only this, of all things I have done to better myself, Weight is not the same demon as the others. As a recovering addict I am aware of my own failures and triggers I am also aware of how easily I am able to manipulate myself. I find those who make comments like you have FC are often those who have not truely dealt with these things face to face. I am not saying you haven't, just that those who deal with it every day have a different perspective on things. Steel

sirsholly -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:36:27 AM)
quote: There is nothing unique to this addiction than to any other such as smoking or drinking, there is something very unique about it. It is an addiction where the drug (for lack of a better word) cannot be stopped

VirginPotty -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:37:35 AM)
Steel, That's a great post but as a 1st responder I'm going to have to disagree with accepting people's sizes. I've seen a few men/women have to leave the service on disability because of hurting their backs trying to carry/or pick up an obese person even with extra manpower. Yes I know, use your legs but that doesn't always work. Personally, I'd get a bit pissed off if I have to call for extra hands because the person is too heavy for my crew & me to manage. That's putting another unit out of service because someone can't manage their weight. I remember one guy who was 500 lbs and there were several units onscene trying to get him downstairs. I had to remove the cot & place him on the floor of the ambulance lying on tarp. Afterwards we were all debriefing after the call & ironically all of us were thinking the same thing on scene....."If this guy codes here he's dead cause there's no way we can load & go". There's a special WIDE unit in the County for anyone too big in the ambulance so there's extra cost for the unit & the staffing, all because someone couldn't manage their weight. I know some weight issues are medical issues and beyond patient's control but truth be told the majority of these issues are because the person couldn't control their food intake. The "monkey on your back" may serve a short term purpose but you have to think about the long term affects but you're right in saying I don't know what's going on in your head so I'm probably just speaking out the side of my neck at this time. I do know this, you overcame an almost impossible addiction to overcome & you're a better man because of that. I just KNOW you can beat the food cravings. Just my [sm=2cents.gif]

SteelofUtah -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:41:39 AM)
VP, Respected. Steel

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:43:17 AM)
First of all, let me go on the record by saying I love you deeply & madly, Steel!!!!! The biggest difference that I see in the food addiction vs the smoking vs the drinking vs the drugs is that in all the others, one can practice total abstinence & get beyond the cravings. With the food addiction, one cannot practice abstinence. One needs to eat. With all the conflicting bits of nutritional information, it's very easy to trigger a craving. Once the addiction grabs hold & tells your brain to convince you that this little bit won't hurt, you're off & running again. I've beat all the other addictions but this one is kickin my ass. One other note: Telling me that something would kill me would never make me want to stop doing it because in the throes of the addiction, I'm so miserable that death seems preferable. Telling me that I will have to live with the consequences of my addiction is much scarier to me & the reason that I gave all of them up.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 11:53:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis First of all, let me go on the record by saying I love you deeply & madly, Steel!!!!! Oooooo Warm Fuzzy. Thank you Steel

VirginPotty -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:00:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis First of all, let me go on the record by saying I love you deeply & madly, Steel!!!!! Oooooo Warm Fuzzy. Thank you Steel I love you deeply & madly too, Steel!!!!!

SteelofUtah -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:02:21 PM)
If Only I was this popular in High School. I Lubs you all too!!!!!!!!!! Steel

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:02:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis First of all, let me go on the record by saying I love you deeply & madly, Steel!!!!! Oooooo Warm Fuzzy. Thank you Steel I love you deeply & madly too, Steel!!!!! hussy!!!!!

VirginPotty -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:03:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah If Only I was this popular in High School. I Lubs POTTY the bestest!!!!!!!!!! Steel Typo fixed. I figured you were typing w/Twinkies in each hand! [;)]

VirginPotty -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:04:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis First of all, let me go on the record by saying I love you deeply & madly, Steel!!!!! Oooooo Warm Fuzzy. Thank you Steel I love you deeply & madly too, Steel!!!!! hussy!!!!! You called??? [sm=kiss.gif]

AquaticSub -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:10:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD You may doubt all you wish. You are making some very invalid assumptions based on only a few of my words. I still maintain that anyone who is obese and beyond is not facing the full reality of the situation. Your cite a couple of examples yourself. When you said there are people who know exactly what they are doing and don't care - that is definitely someone in denial. It's akin to saying they are agreeable to a slow suicide - because being obese and not caring is just that. You also mentioned how people will easily become discouraged at not seeing significant results in the short term. This typifies the "instant gratification" culture we live in and isn't realistic. I will concede that many people likely aren't even aware of how dangerous being obese and morbidly obese can truly be. Perhaps if they did, it would be the reality check they need, though I expect a large number would still be in the "that won't happen to me" category. You misunderstood what I wrote. I said that people are discouraged, not at a lack of immediate results, but because when they do try and lose weight they are still given mockery and scorn - exactly the same as the man in this article. Because it's going to be a slow process and people will continue to mock them and be unkind until they are perfect, some don't see the point. At least this way they can sort the wheat from the chafe by people's reactions to them. Being in denial is not the same as not caring and I don't know why you think it is. Denial is pretending the situation isn't what it is. You seem to believe that everyone who knows the reality of their situation will do exactly what you did and anyone who doesn't must be wrong. Things are never that simple and people rarely have exactly the same reaction.

Christinestill -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 12:44:42 PM)
steel, what you've said resonates with me. i've struggled with weight on and off since i had kids. i tend to be a stress eater. it is something i am aware of every day and sometimes i manage it well and other times i don't. there are a lot of "disorders" that revolve around food; bulemia, anorexia, binging/purging, etc. i get sick and tired of people who think that those who have extra weight are inferior or worthy of ridicule. an eating disorder is an eating disorder, a bulemic isn't any more healthy or beautiful or worthy as a human being than a chubby overeater is but you don't see people making jokes about those with eating disorders that might be thin. at the end of the day we all are accountable for our own actions, whether you're an over eater, a chain smoker, or a simple minded person who chooses to make fun of others for their looks. to each their own and at the end of they day they are the ones that have to look at themselves in the mirror. in my distracted state of mind at the moment, i don't think i made the full point i was getting at but i'm okay with that.

Rainfire -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 1:33:17 PM)
[sm=dunno.gif] It made sense to me, Christine. I've struggled with my weight my entire life, not just after having children. It's mostly genetics with me, all the people, men and women, in my family, have had problems with obesity. I've lost, and kept off, 75 pounds in the last year. I've a 5-10 pound fluctuation with the winter since I couldn't get out and walk like I can in warmer weather but it's inactivity more than what I eat. Even at my skinniest, I'm still a large woman. I'd like to lose some more weight for myself but it doesn't matter to Lumus. He loves me as I am. As for the man in the article, I wish him well. Like Potty, I was an EMT for 6 years and we'd get regular calls to certain addresses and just automatically have the fire department and police dispatched with us since we knew we had some heavy people at those addresses. Anywhere from 450 to 600 pounds. There's no way a single 2 or 3 person crew could handle them. In regards to the OP, rather than make generalizations about overweight people and mocking them, perhaps getting to know them and support their efforts would make a world of difference. Me, I have respect and admiration for the man in getting out and about and moving on with his life when he has to know people are laughing and mocking him. [:)]

FullCircle -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 2:54:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah I find those who make comments like you have FC are often those who have not truely dealt with these things face to face. I feel you are not taking my porn addiction seriously.[8\|]

DeviantlyD -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 6:37:12 PM)
AquaticSub: I give up. quote: ORIGINAL: Rainfire In regards to the OP, rather than make generalizations about overweight people and mocking them, perhaps getting to know them and support their efforts would make a world of difference. Me, I have respect and admiration for the man in getting out and about and moving on with his life when he has to know people are laughing and mocking him. No offense, but the OP really didn't make any generalizations about overweight people. The OP commented on one individual who is, in all likelihood, the most morbidly obese person in the world - which makes him somewhat unique and therefore not simply an "overweight" person. And honestly, overweight is someone a few pounds over. Personally, I find it a troubling sign that there are so many people who are morbidly obese to the point of being immobile. I did a little checking, and according to one government web site, two thirds of Americans are overweight and almost one third are obese! How scary is that? http://win.niddk.nih.gov/statistics/index.htm VirginPotty: Props to you for a tough but needed vocation. SteelofUtah: I'd suggest you view it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. Start off slow. Make some manageable changes. For instance, soft drinks. Can you eliminate those altogether? If not, try eliminating it from one part of your life - for instance, have water with dinner instead of a soft drink. Or instead of having a Big Gulp, downsize. Instead of having two bags of chips a day, have one. Once you start getting used to downsizing the bad stuff, I would suggest replacing it with some good stuff. If you're miserable going the deprivation route, it's never going to work. I firmly believe it's about making changes, but doing it slowly so you don't feel like you are denying yourself. And if you slip up, don't beat yourself up about it (no pun intended) because it's going to happen. As for eating good stuff, it's amazing what is touted as good that isn't. I have a lot of suggestions. Please contact me, if you'd like! One suggestion that may or may not work for you is to make dietary changes without announcing it (except possibly to your significant other). I didn't want to hear the "how is the diet going?" or "how is the eating?" or the "are you supposed to be eating that?" because I saw it as a set-up to failure. No one has to know you're making lifestyle changes, except the people you live with. No one said anything to me until it was obvious I'd lost weight and by then I was already firmly entrenched in what I was doing. It isn't going to be easy, but it can be done.

beargonewild -> RE: Forums to lose a regular? (3/9/2009 8:37:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Steel, That's a great post but as a 1st responder I'm going to have to disagree with accepting people's sizes. I've seen a few men/women have to leave the service on disability because of hurting their backs trying to carry/or pick up an obese person even with extra manpower. Yes I know, use your legs but that doesn't always work. Personally, I'd get a bit pissed off if I have to call for extra hands because the person is too heavy for my crew & me to manage. That's putting another unit out of service because someone can't manage their weight. I remember one guy who was 500 lbs and there were several units onscene trying to get him downstairs. I had to remove the cot & place him on the floor of the ambulance lying on tarp. Afterwards we were all debriefing after the call & ironically all of us were thinking the same thing on scene....."If this guy codes here he's dead cause there's no way we can load & go". There's a special WIDE unit in the County for anyone too big in the ambulance so there's extra cost for the unit & the staffing, all because someone couldn't manage their weight. I know some weight issues are medical issues and beyond patient's control but truth be told the majority of these issues are because the person couldn't control their food intake. The "monkey on your back" may serve a short term purpose but you have to think about the long term affects but you're right in saying I don't know what's going on in your head so I'm probably just speaking out the side of my neck at this time. I do know this, you overcame an almost impossible addiction to overcome & you're a better man because of that. I just KNOW you can beat the food cravings. Just my [sm=2cents.gif] Yes but don't forget that for many people with weigh issues isn't because they seem to have no self control....it is an addiction. Just like some have addiction to alcohol or drugs. It is easy for people like us who are several pounds overweight to comment that thankfully we aren't grossly overweight and it smacks of being judgmental on my books. Eating disorders are often a result of eating to relieve stress in a person's lives or to mask other issues they are unable to cope and deal with. I am one of those people who eats cookies, candy bars, high fat foods when I am under severe stress or masking a bout of low self worth. If my self esteem is low I eat chips or chocolate or ice cream to get that instant gratification to feel better. Yet that food adds weigh which in turn feeds into my poor self image of not being muscular and having a wash board stomach. This is a vicious cycle which feeds upon itself. It is believed by many that people who have addictions to food or sex or alcohol have addictive personalities that make them more susceptible to addiction. It is easy for one to say not to eat junk food, or assume that a morbidly obese person has no will power to exercise portion control or blame the family members to stop enabling the addiction. What has to be looked at is the root cause of the addiction and work from there; not just trying to treat the symptoms. That is just like telling a bulimic person not to purge their stomachs and you will be fine, you have to find why they are bulimic and treat the cause.

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