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RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 1:44:19 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Exactly. Celeste you voice of reason. .  Thanks, I was feeling all alone in the corner here.  Well said.



_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 1:44:54 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Lynn,


The OP asked about different people's reasons and perspectives on this. I gave him my reason and my clear asnwer. No where did I imply that Master is insecure or that I am a princess. That just made my feminist streak cringe.  I am sure for some cases, that may be the reason. For ***us*** it is because he thinks responding to them is a waste of time and I tend to get irritated and why bother? So, to spam they go. Yes, probably at your age I would have found it funny to make up snarky replies and fuck with them, actually occasionally I still did until he said enoough of  that. He however not only finds it very not funny, he finds the majority of this online stuff juvenile and a major waste of time. So, it really is that simple. I think  too much gets read into stuff sometimes.  

It was a fast reply, not directed at you.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 1:46:56 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I doubt there are many subs who are told not to respond to other doms who haven't had the same experiences I have. Horndogs who cannot accept that we are in a committed relationship, or guys with anger problems who cannot accept rejection. Why put ourselves through that when by adding a line saying you have to write HIM first avoids most of them? And a lot of us choose to add that even when we haven't been told to, because it cuts down on the slimy mail.


*shrugs* I guess I don't believe that people who are so disrespectful would actually care about any particular line your profile. If it's your experience that it cuts things down, I'm glad for you but we just don't believe it would be so effective as to be worth him having to check my mail for me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 1:50:02 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Hi Aquatic,

I didn't mean to imply that you said he was a hypocrite, just wanted to address it before it was asked.

As far as friends of both genders, we both have friends of both genders, in real life, that we know. I meant that I don't find it especially beneficial for committed monogamous couples to spend time chatting with online strangers of the opposite sex. We also don't play with others non-sexually either though, so when I say monogamous, I mean in every sense.  I don't know why everyone wants to assume that is insecure or that a relationship if fragile. That really puzzles me.  

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 1:51:43 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Lynn,


The OP asked about different people's reasons and perspectives on this. I gave him my reason and my clear asnwer. No where did I imply that Master is insecure or that I am a princess. That just made my feminist streak cringe.  I am sure for some cases, that may be the reason. For ***us*** it is because he thinks responding to them is a waste of time and I tend to get irritated and why bother? So, to spam they go. Yes, probably at your age I would have found it funny to make up snarky replies and fuck with them, actually occasionally I still did until he said enoough of  that. He however not only finds it very not funny, he finds the majority of this online stuff juvenile and a major waste of time. So, it really is that simple. I think  too much gets read into stuff sometimes.  

It was a fast reply, not directed at you.



Thank God. Call me anything you want, just please not a fricking princess. Or a republican.  

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 1:56:46 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Because that's about as big a detereant as putting a baby gate up to keep the grey hound in the house while the doors open. Most aren't even going to read the profile, and if they do, the kind to bother you and pester you, causing you to put up the line in the first place won't care who you want them to contact before contacting you. They're  just gonna keep on flooding your email no matter what you do, short of turning your profile off.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
\. Why put ourselves through that when by adding a line saying you have to write HIM first avoids most of them? \

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 2:07:48 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Hi Aquatic,

I didn't mean to imply that you said he was a hypocrite, just wanted to address it before it was asked.

As far as friends of both genders, we both have friends of both genders, in real life, that we know. I meant that I don't find it especially beneficial for committed monogamous couples to spend time chatting with online strangers of the opposite sex. We also don't play with others non-sexually either though, so when I say monogamous, I mean in every sense.  I don't know why everyone wants to assume that is insecure or that a relationship if fragile. That really puzzles me.  


This information wasn't provided before - you had simply said chatting and (I believe - I'm on a fussy laptop and don't want to look back) friendships. I do stand by my statement that relationships that can't handle people talking with or being friends with those who of the gender they happened to be attracted to are weak or fragile.

That statement says nothing about my opinion of monogamy, playing with others or such. I do not believe that being monogamous makes a relationship insecure and not playing with others means a relationship is fragile nor did I say anything resembling such. I only mentioned speaking and friendships.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 2:38:35 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		My girl, orionsproperty, has restrictions that anyone wishing to correspond with her must first seek my permission. Before this rule was put into place, many would say things that upset her or showed disrespect and it would upset her. She has a few dominants that she emails on occasion that contacted me, we got to know each other, and that is fine. Then there was the one dominant that after given my permission, did nothing but try to convince her to move away to him (blocked), and then there was the female sub imposter that had a "dom friend" that "she" passed notes from.

My girl is an adult entertainer, so it definately is not from jealousy or insecurity. It is about keeping drama out of my life. I don't like people leaning on my car, but have no problem with them admiring it. Kind of the same with my slave. Hell on occasion my friends have used my car, the same as my slave.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:06:32 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Imo, adults, of either gender, whether submissive, slave or whatever way they choose to self identify, don't need a protector who monitors their online activities. Sure, there are a lot of jerks out there who either don't read profiles, ignore them, send unsolicited pics and rude e-mails, etc., however, the subs that are not "taken" seem to find ways to deal with these realities without need of a censor.

I have respect for peoples' privacy and freedom to socialize and communicate with whom they wish, online or not. I find it as unacceptable to read another person's correspondence as I do if someone were to read mine. Imo, a dominant who insists on monitoring his/her submissive's correspondence with others is, ipso facto , insecure.




_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:17:42 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
I don't like people leaning on my car, but have no problem with them admiring it. Kind of the same with my slave. Hell on occasion my friends have used my car, the same as my slave.


That's a great metaphor which makes me appreciate the filter mechanic, thank you.

My Pet's been fairly inactive here on CM, but she used to get a few comical letters each week - not enough to be a nuisance, and she never took them seriously enough to hurt her (which is fortunate).

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:20:37 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Hi Aquatic,

I didn't mean to imply that you said he was a hypocrite, just wanted to address it before it was asked.

As far as friends of both genders, we both have friends of both genders, in real life, that we know. I meant that I don't find it especially beneficial for committed monogamous couples to spend time chatting with online strangers of the opposite sex. We also don't play with others non-sexually either though, so when I say monogamous, I mean in every sense.  I don't know why everyone wants to assume that is insecure or that a relationship if fragile. That really puzzles me.  


This information wasn't provided before - you had simply said chatting and (I believe - I'm on a fussy laptop and don't want to look back) friendships. I do stand by my statement that relationships that can't handle people talking with or being friends with those who of the gender they happened to be attracted to are weak or fragile.

That statement says nothing about my opinion of monogamy, playing with others or such. I do not believe that being monogamous makes a relationship insecure and not playing with others means a relationship is fragile nor did I say anything resembling such. I only mentioned speaking and friendships.


I only supplied that information because this seemed to be going all over the place. I felt the need to clarify. I think there is a difference between not being able to handle it or just choosing not to engage in it. Again, there will be as many opinions as there are relationships. I am sure that we both (meaning you and I)do what makes our relationship be the best and healthiest it can be for us. That's all the matters.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:21:44 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have to admit that i feel no need to be "protected" from big bad on-line doms.  And i don't tend to get upset about on-line emails.  On-line to me is synonymous with fantasy, and while i may cry at sad movies - not so much from emails.
I think it is a nice fantasy that subs can be protected by doms on-line - sort of like having a sexual relationship on-line - a really big imagination is a plus!

Now, in r/t, my Sir has told me before to not talk to doms at munches unless he is consulted - and this was when i was new, and didn't know the people involved.  He didn't want certain doms getting odd ideas because i was polite and making conversation - though of course, imagination had a large part in their love lives as well.
Anyway, jealousy or insecurity had little to do with it. It was more practicality - he didn't want to have to deal with any misunderstandings.

But as a kink, not talking to doms on line is a nice control thing, very easy to do.

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:28:25 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Imo, adults, of either gender, whether submissive, slave or whatever way they choose to self identify, don't need a protector who monitors their online activities. Sure, there are a lot of jerks out there who either don't read profiles, ignore them, send unsolicited pics and rude e-mails, etc., however, the subs that are not "taken" seem to find ways to deal with these realities without need of a censor.


I wouldn't want a pet who isn't strong enough to deal with a few rude or inappropriate emails, and I don't have one. That said, I feel like slightly less of a man whenever she's hurt in a manner I could have prevented. Let's take an extreme case. If she were raped, I'd replay what I could have done to prevent that. Over. And over. Until my blood boiled. That same emotion response (in a lesser form) is emitted when watching her get hit on, touched, insulted, etc.

That's something I try to avoid. That line of thinking would make me a proponent of "No male contact" warnings, but I'm not. The apparent discrepancy is resolved by me not viewing online creatures as any sort of threat.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:29:06 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		I share the really funny one's with my M. the rest, as i say in my profile, I will answer. I wish those well that are hunting, and those that just want to see if i am for real treated as human. My M likes it and thinks it is nice when people message him first, but doesn't forbid me human contact, good or bad.

And i am still waiting on decent cock shots.


_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:44:25 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		in 9 years on the internet, i have only recieved 2 emails on alt. lifestyle sites that upset me. i can handle my own easily. my mail from men has cut back to about 2 e-mails a week since changing my profile to in service to the ResidentSadistSir. he has not put any email restrictions on me. however, he has made an occasional "no" Collarme day since i have been living with him.
 
may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 3:50:15 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

"Master wishes I do not speak to..." and other variants, implying that it is more often the dominant making this request, not the submissive.


While not demanding that he not talk to anyone, Anyone interested in pursuing an off-CM conversation with Fox needs to contact me for permission to do so. I dont consider it jealousy, because I have no fear that there is anyone anywhere that tuen Fox's head from me. Never was worried, either. Its more to protect him from the players out there. He hates to be the bad guy, and to get into confrontations over what he is and isnt allowed to discuss and why. AFter one or two messages on IMs that he was in before needing permission he was propositioned for cyber and made very uncomfortable. Another he was told "Dont worry, your Owner doesnt have to know." And its attitudes like that we are trying to avoid. If they are truly interested, then mailing me and asking snt a problem. If they have ulterior motives or cant be bothered with a 2 line email to me then he doesnt lose much by not talking to them.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 4:06:10 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		 
My strongest reaction to those type emails is either boredom or laughter.  And I can hit the delete/block button even when I'm laughing! 

quote:

 And i am still waiting on decent cock shots.  


I only get the indecent ones, too!


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 4:29:06 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		Someone who earned mega points with me and we ended up chatting for a few weeks sent me a picture of a rooster. His sense of humor made my day.

A female sent me a rather flattering boob shot and asked if it would be treated with the same mirth. She is also a chat buddy now.




_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 4:55:18 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		FR

I use a particular chat site in the UK as we are currently looking for a woman to join us. I often get hit on by other men and actually find most of them quite amusing. A couple of the guys I have chatted to have continued contact partly because they are nice to chat to and are generally interested in what we do. Master has never had an issue with me chatting to people as he knows he can trust me totally.

As for needing his protection there or from "try it on" Doms here well he would be both surprised and disappointed if he thought I needed it. I am a big girl (in lots of ways lol) and perfectly able to look after myself. I can't say I have ever been upset by any email or online chat. There have been a fair few that have made me laugh though.

(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Jealous Owners? - 3/7/2009 5:21:51 PM   
HisHeavan


Posts: 13
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline 		YourhandMyAss

Being HeavansKeepers pet, i assure you...i neither need nor require His 'protection'.  i accept it and cherish it as part of our dynamic.  i am an adult and have been for many years.  i've lived a full life and am happy to be under my Masters protection when He deems it necessary.  i find no shame in having it and never will.

_____________________________

Devoted Servant of HeavansKeeper

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 40
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